Have a 3 1/2 Year Old and Am 7 Months Pregnant - How to Avoid Sleep Issues

Talk to him a lot a week or two before the baby comes. How mommy will be gone for a few days, and he will then have a new baby brother or sister. Kids do so much better if they know what to expect. Like someone else said, let him keep to his same routine as much as possible, that is comforting to them.

Something that really worked well for us was to have a very special present ready from the baby to him. When we introduced them, the baby was on the floor in his car seat, and the present was next to him. We videoed the whole thing. He was so excited that baby brought him a gift, and it associates good feelings with the new baby right away. He watched that little video over and over again.

We were so worried about the jealousy thing, but he was so excited, that it never happened. He is a big boy, and gets to do big boy things, like help get diapers and help bathe baby, etc. They are so into being big at that age, that I would emphasize those things.

If he does want to regress a little, starts wetting himself, waking up at night, etc., don't be too hard on him. Some kids, that is how they react. Be kind, and that, too, will pass.

How exciting for all of you! I wish you a safe delivery and a healthy baby.

I completely agree with the Mom who said not even to bring the issue up unless your son specifically asks about it. Just set up the bassinet in your room early (maybe you already have) so he is well aware of where the baby will be sleeping ahead of time. Then if he asks just say something like, "That's just what babies do...they sleep in Mommy & Daddy's bedroom until they're big enough to have their own special room like you." I would definitely answer any questions he asks but it may not even occur to him at all to be jealous and you definitely don't want to put any ideas in his head b/c he might start thinking to himself that this is something that he should be jealous about.

One other thing I do that I find really helps is to run a fan in my older children's bedroom for white noise so they aren't awakened in the middle of the night by baby noises. If you do like that idea, I would suggest you start by putting the fan outside your son's door and then gradually move it in his room and increase the speed from low to medium so he gets used to it b/f the baby comes.

Also, your son is old enough that you may not have a ton of jealously issues. I think he's old enough to understand when you explain things to him and also to be really excited about a sibling. My four year old absolutely loves to help with the baby. It makes her feel special and needed. Some things I ask her to do is to get me a diaper or a wipe or the tabs on the diaper. She also likes to get bibs or choose an outfit but if she ever happens to not be in the mood to help I just let it go and don't force it on her.

Congratulations and best of luck with whatever advice you choose to follow!

I am assuming your son already sleeps in his own room ?

If so, his sleep pattern won't be changing. If he says anything about wanting to sleep in your room, like the baby does, then simply explain to him that that's what babies do, because they have smaller tummies and they have to eat more often, night and day. And tell him stories about when HE was a baby, and when he slept in your room. He won't remember any of that, but children love to hear stories about themselves when they were babies.

We worried about this with our last 2 children, because they were only 16 months apart, but it wasn't a problem. The youngest slept in our bed, and the almost 2 yr old slept in the very next room. If the older one awoke before we were ready to get up, we would bring her into our bed, too, and cuddle all together.

It's good to think about these issues ahead of time, but often our "preparation worries" are just extra worries. Still, the fact that you think about it and want to be prepared shows how much you love your son ! I think he'll get that message, and he'll be fine.

Have a wonderful Holiday season !!

My only recommendation to you would be what I did. I am a mother of three very beautiful children - ages 8, 3 and 21 months. I have never had any of my children sleep in my room with me. I made sure they slept in their crib from the start. So, my suggestion for you would be to not have your new one sleep in the room with you. If you have a separate room for the new baby, have the baby sleep in there.

I have a three almost four year old and a one year old and the best thing I can tell you is to make sure that your three and a half year old still feels special, whether it is baking together, playing games, etc. The sleep thing is just something you are going to have to deal with when it comes. You could get lucky and your three and a half year old will not put up much of a fight but if they do, just keep taking them back to their bed. I know it sounds like you will not get that much sleep with that idea but it is never easy with two or more kids. Eventually, things will even out. Good luck with your pregnancy and may your family have many blessings.

Just be honest with him. Explain how babies wake up a lot to eat because their belly's are so small. This is just how it is. I, too, am expecting my 3rd son in February and have 2 sons now. They are very excited to have a little brother and already want to put the bassinett together. They also know that it is only for a few months and we are prepping the baby's room for him to go in at that time. I will make sure to spend quality time with each of them each day and sometimes put the baby down or leave briefly while fussing and say something like, "You have to wait a moment Baby (no name yet), your brother needs me first." This will make them Best of luck!

I think the 3 1/2 year old will be old enough to understand. You can start now by telling him the baby needs to be near you for feedings. I would tell him it is going to be noisy (baby crying) in my room and you need your sleep. They usually understand, don't worry.

Hi C., I have three girls (16,14 & 11) there will be jealousy issues...for over three years your son has had you all to himself and now you are going to bring home a baby that will demand a lot of time and attention. There are some things that you can do to defuse it!

1. When you come home from the hospital walk in empty handed to greet your son! Let Daddy follow you in with the baby.

2. Each of you must Take at least 10 minutes a day to devote completely to him (seperatly of course) while the other takes care of the baby. A walk around the block, read a book, take him to the grocery store, a quick trip to the local park or tossing the ball around the back yard! It is really important you do this from day one...it really does work to keep those feelings of being left out at bay.

3. Have a few little gifts hidden for those times when people show up at your house with gifts for the baby. Also have a small gift for him from his sister for when you come home from hospital.

4. Do not force the baby on him...let him warm up to her at his own pace it's really hard becomming a "big" brother or sister.

5. Keep his routine! Keep all your normal routines and rules firmly in place and don't be surprised if he tests you or acts out a bit. Make sure you don't over react or ignore any rule breaking...just because there's a new baby in the house doesn't mean that he is allowed to misbehave. He will need that structure to maintain his comfort levels and to feel safe and secure.

6. Little folks have big ears and will pick up on YOUR feelings and fears! Don't borrow trouble and wonder "what if" out loud around him...if you say it, it will happen.

7. Always Always Always let common sense be your guide!!

Relax and enjoy these last few weeks of just the three of you...go and have a special picture of the three of you taken (Walmart always has great deals at their photo center), take some time to make some special memories that you can talk about and remember later. Remember special memories doesn't mean that you have to spend lots of money...snow men, snowball fights with Dad, hot chocolate and popcorn with a good movie snuggled on the couch with Mom and Dad are all times that kids remember for lifetimes. Congrats, Best wishes and Happy Holidays!

i had a similar situation. I have a 4 year old, who turned 4 three days before my son was born. I was also afraid that my daughter would want to sleep in our bed once the baby was in our room. Surprisingly she did not. My daughter really likes having her own room and would come in our room sometimes. The first week my daughter did not get any sleep because she woke and came in everytime the baby cried. Maybe just talking to your son and telling him that the baby will be up and crying and he will not be able to sleep if he is in your room.
Congrats and lots of luck
A.

At 3 1/2 years old, he is old enough to understand when you explain things to him. The thing to remember is to start early (like now). Get him interested in his new sibling and explain to him the new baby's limitations and needs now before they become an issue. Once the new baby is here, keep him involved. My daughter was 4 when her brother was born and he was 3 when our youngest was born in August of 2007.

We took our son with us to the sonogram so that he could see his new brother. We looked at baby books (like Your pregnancy week to week and what to expect when you are expecting). In the one book, we were able to see pictures of what the baby would look like at different points and see how big the baby was at that moment. When the baby came home, I let his big brother/sister hold him (supervised) and help by getting new diapers or throwing used ones away (after I'd wrapped and sealed them with the tabs). I generally tried to keep them involved and made sure to make a little time for just them (like reading them a bedtime story) each day.

As for the sleeping issues, I explained that big kids sleep in their big kid beds and they were a big kid now. I, also, told them about babies needing to wake up several times at night to eat. Then I went on to tell them that they needed to stay in their own beds (not ours) so that the baby didn't keep waking them up since they needed their sleep to grow big and strong. I told them if something was wrong or if they had a nightmare, they could come and get me and I would tuck them back in and give them a hug and a kiss.

Explaining won't take care of every instance. No matter what you do, there will be times when your older child feels a little jealous after all he will no longer be the only one or the baby. However, jealousy doesn't have to be all bad. And there will be times later when your baby is jealous of your older child as well.

Anyhow, good luck. Hope this helps.

Cherri, I had my second child at the same age as your older one. We explained to my daughter that it would be easier for the baby and us that he slept with us for just a bit. With needing to be fed and any crying that might go on. She never thought about after his arrival. I will say though she was also a very good sleeper and never woke up to any niose in the house. Be honest with your son and let him know that he also slept in your room when he was first born and that soon his little sister will be in her own room just like him. I hope this helps.
L.

having been a co-sleeping household it would not be much of an issue. For the short amount of time a child wants to be near they are welcomed. Sooner or later they want their own space when they are secure in having it they go to it.

You will surely find what best works for your home when the new little person arrives and go from there.

Don't let him! Don't worry, you have full control. If he is coming into your room to sleep sometimes now, make the change. Tell him he's too big for that, and give him some other new big boy privilege and extra attention to compensate at other times. Be firm. Don't give in. Don't allow tantrums. Don't allow him to come into your room after the baby is born either. Don't allow any jealousy issues when the baby comes. Treat everyone with love, and include him in the importance of being a big brother. Don't leave him out. And if he does ever act mean or jealous, enforce discipline, while pumping up the affection at other times, when he is being nice to the baby. Bringing home the baby to my 2 year old was one of the most fun amazing times in our lives, she has been an awesome big sister. Positive reinforcement and getting her excited that it was her baby too and I needed help was all that was necessary, but I would have definitely not tolerated jealousy if it had come to that. You can do it! Good luck, congratulations!

Hi C.
My advice to you would be to not even suggest to your older child anything that would make him start thinking that yeah, maybe he should be a little jealous. Do not even mention anything about the situation ...just go about it like it is supposed to be that way. If he says anything just explain to him that babies need to be with their mommies in the beginning. I think that we as parents often project our fears and insecurities onto our kids and create problems that would not have been there in the first place.

I was worried about jealousies when I had my second but had NO problems whatsoever. Just make sure to include your oldest in what you do with the baby and you will be fine.

Good Luck!

I nursed all 3 of mine so it was just easier to have them close to me during the beginning months when they were up eating often. We started with the bassinet, but honestly, they quickly wound up sleeping in our bed after waking the first time. I would fall asleep nursing and it was a way to squeeze in a few extra moments of sleep that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. I typically moved them to their own room after about 3 months when they were sleeping most of the night and it was less disruptive to all of us to get up and nurse if necessary. My older ones just slept through it. It really wasn't a big deal for them. Unless they are sick or come snuggle with us in the morning (maybe 630-7) if they wake up just a little too early, my older 2 never end up in our bed. They have moved into a room together (oldest daughter and middle son) but they are ok with that and they don't pester us.

Hi, I'm new here but thought I could help! I have a 3 1/2 yr. old daughter and we are trying to have another baby. I find with my daughter that the more I tell her in advance the better she is later when it happens. Set the bassinet up with your son and explain to him what it is for, how long the baby might sleep there, and what it was like when he did that. Maybe invite him into bed with you on certain mornings so he can 'help'. Oh, and Congrats!