Haveing Trouble Getting Pregnant

Updated on May 02, 2007
J.A. asks from Anaheim, CA
20 answers

My husband and I have not used protection in 11 months. My cycle is very irregular, so pin pointing ovulation is difficult. We have consistently been intimate about 3-4 times a week during the week before and of when ovulation is “due”. My PCG keeps telling me to “have patience” and “these things take time. It’s not always as easy to conceive a second child.” Has anyone else had a similar problem? Am I just being inpatient? Is there a way to naturally regulate my cycle? Is it time for me to talk to the OB/GYN about fertility options? And if it is time for fertility, are there any readily covered by insurance? Thanks for you help. -J

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much ladies! I literally cried when I saw how many responses I got. No! Not because I’m pregnant & Hormonal, because I naturally cry at anything that touches me deeply. All of the reassurance from each of you meant so much to me. I do have a Gyn appointment next month for my annual, so I think I’ll talk to him then. Hopefully he can at least help me get my cycle on track to make the baby making easier to plan. Until then, I’ll just have fun trying! Wink, wink. ;-)
I’ll keep you updated on our progress! Again, thank you soooo much. It really lifted me spirits to see that I’m not alone. Thank you for all the Fertility Vibes and best wishes. It really does mean so much. You may be strangers, but in a small way, your also friends! Thank you. J.

So I had my check-up a week ago and the doc said that he wants to give it a couple more months. He said that if I'm not pregnant by August that we can rule out other causes. He also told me to have my get a sperm analysis. Let me say~ my hubby DID NOT like that idea, but that will be part of my new post! Thanks for all the support. You gals are amazing!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

There is this thing fertility tracker it is a microscope that you lick first thing in the morning and when it shows ferning its baby making time. It easier than it sounds. My cycle was very irregular and after tracking one month I got pregnant the next. You can find them online for like $50 Good Luck!!

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J.K.

answers from San Francisco on

hi J.,
My response is coming a little late, but I'll write it anyway and hope it helps you.

I was in your position a few months ago and am now happily pregnant. I was 42 in January of this year (2007) and had been educating myself about fertility for 3 years. I had been doing everything right that I could find out to do: I was charting my basal body temperature, noting cervical mucus, I had even bought a fertility monitor (ClearBlue Easy, usually around $250 but I got it for about $100 on eBay) and so I knew without a doubt when I was ovulating. Unlike you, I have a very regular cycle, so I was very concerned after a year had gone by and we had no results. My husband and I were also both eating well, avoiding sugar and processed grains, eating lots of vegetables, fruits and hormone-free meats. He was avoiding hot tubs too (much to his disappointment).

I went to the Pacific Fertility Center in SF where they did some tests and informed me that my FSH levels (follicle stimulating hormone) were too high. They look for a result under 10 and mine was 25. They hinted that I was too old and suggested that I look for an egg doner.

I was not going to take that lying down. In my fertility research I was continually coming across acupuncture as a helpful way to go. I found an excellent acupuncturist in SF who specializes in fertility (she is internationally known). I was hesitant to go because I hate needles, but I decided enduring a little fear was a small price to pay for a healthy baby. I went to Dr. Angela Wu's clinic (she is on Clement St) and felt entirely taken care of. The initial appt was 3 hours long and left me feeling completely held in the process of conception.

After only 3 menstrual cycles I am now pregnant and feeling great. No nausea at all; I am eating like a horse and enjoying every bite. At some point I decided to take on having a baby as if it's a rite of passage and since I'm a personal growth junkie, I have refused to be stopped by "facts" and have instead taken every obstacle as an opportunity to learn and grow. You sound just as determined as I was/am.

Acupuncture (esp with Dr Wu) is not cheap, but it's less expensive than other methods and it has the advantage of getting your body into greater balance for the pregnancy.

Best of luck to you--it's clear to me that your heart is in this and so I believe you will succeed. I do suggest you find out about acupuncture for fertility. Dr Wu's results with women conventional medicine has given up on are phenomenal. She helps make miracle(babie)s every day.

Blessings,
J.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey J.,

I see that you are active in your church, I'd like to give you spiritual advice before you seek your OB/GYN... In reading your request, it reminded me of 1st Samuel ch.1. This story is of Hannah who couldn't conceive, so she seeked the counsel of GOD, then he blessed her with Samuel. I will definetly keep you in prayer.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

You can buy an ovulation tester at Walgreens - it will tell you when you are ovulating - and abstain for a while - - - then when you ovulate he has saved up a bit and you have a better chance....

OR - - - you can do what those of us that get pregnant too easy dream of - and keep having fun - let nature take it's course - it's not a race - God will send you that baby when you are all ready....

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Nope, I don't think you're being impatient....in fact I think you're being very patient! I don't want to freak you out but you might want to consider asking your OB/GYN about doing some blood tests to see if you have developed Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. One of the symptoms is an irregualr cycle. I have it & was diagnosed in 1997 & we were able to concieve & now have 2 boys but w/the help of infertility drugs. Our bodies change so much after pregnancy so you might want to have a physical to check if all is in working order. As far as what infetility procedures are covered, you should check w/your health care provider since it all differs depending on your coverage. We have Kaiser & w/our coverage, all infertility excluding IVF was covered. We still had to pay our co-pay for the office visits & for the meds but it was significantly cheaper. I'm not sure about natural ways to regulate your cycle but try asking at a health food store, research on line or ask your doctor. Good luck!

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S.T.

answers from Sacramento on

I wouldnt suggest fertility options - they have been known to cause blood clots. There is alot of natural options to choose from - i dont know what else you have tried but feel free to write me & i hope you find something that works.

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C.M.

answers from Salinas on

Have you checked out NFP yet? Natural Family Planning is a method to help couples reach or avoid conception and even if your periods are irregular, an instructor can possibly help you figure out what's going on with your body. It's definately a lot less expensive than IVF and worth looking into before going that direction. Do a search on the Creighton Model (or method) and try at least making a phone call to an instructor to ask questions. I'd try all avenues before trying IVF ... that's so expensive!

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M.M.

answers from Fresno on

11 months is and isn't a long time. My Dr. said it could take time as well. I would talk to your OB just to get an opinion, maybe some better tracking ideas. He/she would definitely be able to tell you which fertility treatements, if any, are covered by insurance.

Take care, keep us posted!
M. M.

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A.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

I highly recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler (spelling?). It requires some work on your part (get your hubby to read parts of it too so he's involved). All of my friends who have used it have gotten pregnant within 6 months. It's something I think every woman should know about her own body but nobody tells us! Good luck.

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C.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

When "we" try to do something, we get impatient and we always wonder if this is the day it will happen. It is very natural not to get pregnant right away. It took us a little over 2 years. The doctors kept telling me it was the stress of work. I did work too much, 60-70 hours a week. So one day...I quite and the next thing I knew (within 2 months) I was pregnant. I relieved the stress of worrying about things at work. Just relax, the best part about having a baby is making it!!

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T.

answers from Las Vegas on

J.,

It is definitely time to talk to you OB/Gyn to see why you aren't getting pregnant. Once you know what is causing you to not get pregnant, your OB should be able to help you figure out what to do next. In my opinion, if you have been trying for 11 months without success, it is time to see your doctor to see what is going on.

T.

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C.A.

answers from San Diego on

J.,
I understand your frustration. I am the mother of 2 and we are trying now for our third. We have not been what I call "Actively trying" but figure it will happen when it happens. I got pregnant relatively quickly with my first two kids. My period became irregular when I got off the pill last year. I can't seem to track mine correctly either. We have begun actively trying to concieve this month (we agreed to stop because my sister is getting married in May and I am in the wedding.) Just hang in there. I know my OB/GYN said for me the probable reason my period is so irregular is because I am still carrying a little bit more weight than usual from my last child (who will be 3 in May). Just hang in there.. hope my experience helps.. and of course.. GOOD LUCK!!

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K.B.

answers from Fresno on

J.,

I have been trying to concieve for over 16 months. When we started to try I was calculating my temp, and all that stuff they tell you to do when you are trying. After a year of that My OBGYN started testing my husband and I for fertility issues. I did find that our insurance doesn't cover most of the proceedures. They claim to cover "diagnosis" so you have to tell your doctor to bill under "family planning" and not infertility. After a few test I am on my firt month of Clomid. I started with a small dose so we will see what happens! If I were you I would talk to your OB..

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F.O.

answers from Sacramento on

Hey J.,

My hubby and I are having the same problem. Although we never used protection, our daughter is now 2 years next month and we have been trying for over a year now. My hubby found some pills online that are suppose to help with regulating your cycle and to help your hubby boost his count. They are called fertilaid and they do have a .com website. Other people on the site have very good things to say about it. We just stared taking it on tuesday so we will see how it goes. I am very regular and we still havent gotten prego yet. I also went to my pcg and she referred me to a fertility clinic. The only thing is the first available appt is not until may 21! Anyway I understand how you feel and it is very frusterating. Sometimes I want to break down and cry or quite trying. Hope this website helps you too.

Kimberly

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Hi J. :)

My husband and I tried for 5 years after we got married but I was unable to conceive. After a while, I just assumed I couldn't have children.
I was having some health issues at the time. Exhaustion and brain fogs among them and decided to get on a parasite cleansing program. My periods, which had never been normal my whole life became like clockwork after a couple months of being on it. I was feeling so good, in fact, that I decided to do a bit more for my health and cut additives and preservatives out of my diet. I dropped 15 lbs in 6 weeks and suddenly became pregnant.
It's my belief that a LOT of problems can be solved with change of diet. I've also read that parasites can effect your reproductive organs so I think the combination of the two really helped. :)

Good luck and best of wishes to you! :)
M.

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A.B.

answers from Stockton on

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and to keep on trying! I've never had regular periods in my entire life. I tried checking my basal body temperature with fertilityfriend.com (it's free)and no patterns or cycles were ever detected. Because I went through that whole process for about a year, I learned my own body's fertility signals (cervical mucus changes). I tried to have sex as soon as I noticed the changes. It took my boyfriend and I an entire year of trying before I got pregnant. I had thought I was infertile and was going to give it another 6 months to a year before I consulted a fertility specialist. After that awful year of hope and disappointment I got pregnant and now have a gorgeous baby boy! I can't really say what changed. The only thing I noticed that drastically changed was that I removed a major source of stress from my life. I wish you all the best!!!

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T.T.

answers from Las Vegas on

I am actually in the same position. But I have had 3 miscarriages since my son( he is 3) But I recently had a few procedures done to help with that. I was given Metformin a diabetic medication that has been used to help regulate a womens ovulation cycle.( Mind you I am not Diabetic now or have I ever been.) I took t for 1-2 months and my cycle went right back on track. I am not sure I would like to take this for long but I can honestly tell you that I know when i am ovulating.I felt like a total basket case when I was taking this medicine. Very emotional but I guess it was getting everthing back in to order with hormones/ cycle. But now when I take the ovulation predictor test it finally shows positive. But right now we are in the process of moving to nevada( on Thurs) so we are waiting to try again for couple months. But the OB recommended we wait til we have 4-5 regular cycles anyways. So hopefully in June the odds will finally be in my favor. Maybe you could get a second opinion on reasons for not ovulating regularly. I did and I finally feel like I am headed in the right direction. Well good luck and I have my fingers crossed for the both of us. Feel free to email me anytime. ____@____.com
T.

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Most OB/GYN's will advise you to try for 12 months before contacting them for infertility testing. That being said, there is a thing called secondary infertility, meaning you didn't have trouble concieving #1, but are having trouble w/ #2.

Have you tried charting your cycles? What about using the ovulation predictor kits? Those are the things my OB/GYN adivsed me to do when we'd tried uncessefully for 12 months.

As for insurance coverage, I've found that most companies either offer absolutely no infertility coverage or coverage that only applies to certain kinds of infertility treatment. For me, my infertility testing was covered at 50%. We moved on to artifical insemination, which was also covered at 50%. When we moved on to IVF, we didn't have any coverage at all.

If you haven't concieved by the end of 12 months, I would think it would be reasonable to request an appointment w/ your OB/GYN.

Good luck!

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H.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

it took us 3 years to get baby number two. i even had a miscarrage somewhere in the middle of it. what i did was i charted my tempurature every day (yes, for 3 years) to see when i was ovulating. that helped alot. it will also help clue you in if you are pregnant. that is called basal body tempature charting. then the month that i got pregnant with my #2, i used that clear blue easy ovulation kit. it worked! with the 2 methods, we got our baby! good luck and dont give up!

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a very irregular cycle too...it's frustrating, isn't it. It seemed harder for me to have #2. I ended up with a miscarriage when I was trying for my second and then getting pregnant 8 months after that. How old is your first one? I found that because I was still breastfeeding one time per day, my hormones were at a "menopausal" level so conception wasn't possible for me until I was completely finished breastfeeding (kind of a blessing that it ACTUALLY works as a birth control for ME). There is such a thing as secondary infertility...but I wouldn't be too quick to think that's what it is. They don't even start testing for infertility until you've tried for a year so you have a month to go before they'll even consider infertility with you. We're trying for #4 right now and I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to have the same problem you are...I can't seem to figure out when I'm ovulating. I've always tried just paying attention to discharge, but it doesn't seem to be happening. Have you tried that approach to figuring out when you are ovulating? Good luck to you - it can be frustrating, but if you are meant to have that 2nd child...it'll happen. It just might be in the time frame you are hoping for.

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