hi J.,
My response is coming a little late, but I'll write it anyway and hope it helps you.
I was in your position a few months ago and am now happily pregnant. I was 42 in January of this year (2007) and had been educating myself about fertility for 3 years. I had been doing everything right that I could find out to do: I was charting my basal body temperature, noting cervical mucus, I had even bought a fertility monitor (ClearBlue Easy, usually around $250 but I got it for about $100 on eBay) and so I knew without a doubt when I was ovulating. Unlike you, I have a very regular cycle, so I was very concerned after a year had gone by and we had no results. My husband and I were also both eating well, avoiding sugar and processed grains, eating lots of vegetables, fruits and hormone-free meats. He was avoiding hot tubs too (much to his disappointment).
I went to the Pacific Fertility Center in SF where they did some tests and informed me that my FSH levels (follicle stimulating hormone) were too high. They look for a result under 10 and mine was 25. They hinted that I was too old and suggested that I look for an egg doner.
I was not going to take that lying down. In my fertility research I was continually coming across acupuncture as a helpful way to go. I found an excellent acupuncturist in SF who specializes in fertility (she is internationally known). I was hesitant to go because I hate needles, but I decided enduring a little fear was a small price to pay for a healthy baby. I went to Dr. Angela Wu's clinic (she is on Clement St) and felt entirely taken care of. The initial appt was 3 hours long and left me feeling completely held in the process of conception.
After only 3 menstrual cycles I am now pregnant and feeling great. No nausea at all; I am eating like a horse and enjoying every bite. At some point I decided to take on having a baby as if it's a rite of passage and since I'm a personal growth junkie, I have refused to be stopped by "facts" and have instead taken every obstacle as an opportunity to learn and grow. You sound just as determined as I was/am.
Acupuncture (esp with Dr Wu) is not cheap, but it's less expensive than other methods and it has the advantage of getting your body into greater balance for the pregnancy.
Best of luck to you--it's clear to me that your heart is in this and so I believe you will succeed. I do suggest you find out about acupuncture for fertility. Dr Wu's results with women conventional medicine has given up on are phenomenal. She helps make miracle(babie)s every day.
Blessings,
J.