Haven't Heard from My Daughter....

Call the attorney - by the book and under advice is the best way to go.

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Do it now! Call the attorney and figure out where she is.

The police can do a welfare check. So can you. Go to his address.

When is he to have her back? If it's in a few days just wait it out. I know that's difficult to do. You must be feeling frantic.

I don't think his actions necessarily indicate "kidnapping." It seems to me he would respond so that you'd not catch on if that were his goal.

There is not enough info for me to give a helpful answer. I can tell you that this is not a police matter. Technically, he cannot legally kidnap her. He's her father. If he doesn't return her he's in violation of a civil court order. Civil and not criminal. Your attorney is the best person to advise you on that aspect. I would call my attorney and see if there might be a way of getting in touch with your ex. His lack of response to your calls and texts is irresponsible and seems to also be in violation of a court order.

The police may be willing to do a welfare check. Just depends on the agency and their policy re: child custody issues. Many will not get involved.

Is it possible they're out of town and not in contact with the world? Say camping where there's no cell service?

You get the ball rolling NOW! Call your attorney! She should be allowed to call you whenever she pleases. What kind of idiot put the two call restriction down. CRAZY!

Just as everyone else has suggested, call the police and request a welfare check. Once you know she is ok & where she's supposed to be, call your attorney. Do both today, right this minute as a matter of fact.

You have gotten great advise. Call the police have them do a welfare check, call your attorney and see if you can get an emergency hearing in front of the judge, violation of order due to no contact. At the age of 6 not having contact with Mom can be a little scary. Please update us! I am praying for you and your daughter.

My heart goes out to you!!!!! This is one of the most helpless feelings a mother can have.

Here is an idea to consider for the future:

Buy your daughter a cheap cell phone that doesn't require a monthly plan. You can get a phone for about $30 at Wal-Mart and pay for call minutes to be loaded into it for $10 and up. You can add more minutes simply by buying another card, kind of like a gift card.

Program your phone number into it and teach her how to use it. Then, when she spends time with her dad, she can call you without needing his permission. If you get one with texting, then ask her to send you a text message every day. He won't be able to hear that, and you'll know she's okay. No judge is going to find fault with a child calling/texting her mother on her own. He's required to have her call you twice a week, but unless there's an odd provision in your divorce decree, that doesn't prevents the child from initiating more frequent contact.

You could start some sort of little joke or ritual between you and your daughter that won't offend her dad, but makes it fun for her to contact you. (Instead of alarming her by implying that you don't believe she's safe with her father.) ANY contact will let you know that she's okay for another day. A few ideas:
--Have her call and tell you what she dreamed about the night before.
--Start a story and have each of you take turns adding one more sentence every day.
--At Christmas, have her contact you to remind you how many more days there are until Santa comes.
--In the summer, she can tell you how high the temperature went the day before.
--She can call at the end of each day and tell you all the wonderful things she did at her daddy's. (Or the tell you the next morning.) Your ex and his wife may love this one, because they'll think it makes you feel bad to hear she's having fun with them. You'll have to swallow some pride, but you'll not only know that she's safe, you'll also hear exactly what's been going on.
--If he has a pet, have her call to tell you something cute that it did that day.
--If she plays a certain computer or gameboy game, have her call and tell you what adventures/accomplishments she had with it that day. (This will also clue you in to whether she's spending too much time on it!).
--Anything else that gets her excited or is fun.

One other suggestion: Choose a code word that she can use if she ever feels scared and doesn't want other people to know. Don't say it's for use if her DAD makes her scared, because there's no need to alarm her without cause. (Not contacting you is pigheaded and insensitive of her father, but not dangerous to her.) Saying it's for ANY situation that makes her scared can prevent her blurting out to her dad that you told her to use this word in case he was scaring her. For example, one mother whose ex had been physically abusive to her (while they were married) taught her children to call and say something like, "I left my red backpack at home. Can you bring it to me?" None of them had a red backpack. They actually had to make that call once.

If you can try not to let your ex or his wife see that this bothers you, it may prevent him from doing this just to yank your chain. Obviously, he doesn't see the need for frequent contact with the child you have together, or he would call her frequently himself. It's easy for him to label you as "over protective" or other negative things in his mind, for simply being a normal mother.

So glad that she's coming back soon!!

I would be scared to death! My prayers are with you, please keep us updated...when did he pick her up? When is she due back? I agree you should call your lawyer and the police to see if they can do a wellness check.

Do you know any of his family or friends who would be friendly and "on your side" who would call his cell for you? If he is seeing your name or number come up he wont answer but if its his M., or friend from work maybe he will answer. It might help to find out where he is if not at home.

Yes, call your attorney.

the police will drive by and check in to make sure everyone is ok. i would do that first. they won't cause a big scene, they won't break the door down, just knock and ask if everyone is doing ok. THEN i would call the attorney. assuming everyone is fine. DO IT NOW. (all we did was call and say that this was a friend who we work with and she had not shown up for work for four days, and was not returning our calls - which was all true - we were very worried. they stopped by, knocked on the door, and assured that she was still breathing. i don't see why they wouldn't do it for you since you haven't heard from them for several days and they have your child, who is supposed to be allowed to call you.)

I think the best move right now is to call the local police (where HE is) and ask them to do a welfare check. Let them know right up front that you have called/texted multiple times and have gotten no response. This is not in compliance with the requirements during visitation. That you aren't just trying to force compliance with the court order, although that would be wonderful if he would comply, but that you are concerned for your daughter's welfare since the dad hasn't responded to any attempts to contact him. Share with them your child's age so that they understand she is not of an age to take action to call you on her own.
Depending upon the result, you can always ask for a copy of whatever report the police writes up, and tuck it away for future reference.

Definitely call your attorney ASAP! He will be able to tell you what to do. I hope you hear from your girl soon. :)

I would not hesitate to call the police. This is your 6 year old baby. I would care less what he thinks or if he gets upset!

Can you ask the police to do a welfare check?

Yes! Call the police. And call the attorney too.

Call your attorney right away...he will tell you what to do next. Good luck.

Call the police to do a welfare check since you have it written in a court order. Call your attorney after-wards.

We went thru this. You call the police, tell them the ex has your daughter and isn't following the court order. They will ask for his cell and will call him themselves. If he answers, he will have to tell the police why he isn't following the court order. He will probably call you immediately. You will also have access to a police report which is documentation that he is breaking the court order. You can use this if you need to file anything against him. Good luck.

I'm so sorry for your situation. You're in my prayers and thoughts. Please update!

Loni
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i would definitely call the police also. or get in a car and make a trip myself!

I am so sorry and I feel for you. My husband and I are going through a divorce and he is doing the same thing with the telephone calls to our son and me. My son is 5. It's just cruel of a parent to prevent contact, especially with a child so young. If your ex is anything like mine, he's just trying to upset you and get under your skin. I know that doesn't make it any easier. It's gut wrenching. Hopefully, the visitation will be over soon and you can get back to life with your daughter. I'm glad you got some advice here. I have been wondering what to do too.

Well its a tough situation. I am married with 3 kids and my husband who is the dad of all my children. I could see him making similare mistakes as your daughter father. Men are just not as concerned with that stuff as moms are. When my kids are staying with my parents I miss them and still need to talk to them.
I would tell him very strongly. You are glad they are having time together but you need to hear her voice. The two of you have never been apart that long. Just to hear her voice for a bit would ease your concerns.

OMG!! please ring your attorney immediately, give him an hour to get in touch & then call the police! I hope she's returned safely & promptly.
Please let us know how it goes xx

I have to say how happy I am that he returned her early. It's an answered prayer! I will pray that you never have to go through this again.

OH my goodness! I am not in your situation, but as a mother I would absolutley call at least my attorney and have him advise me from there. Good Luck and I hope it all works out.

This is a police matter. He may have kidnapped her and he is in violation of the court order. A visit from child protective services might wake him up. After calling the authorities call your attorney. Today is July 7th. He's already in violation.
Does this egotist pay child support?

Hi A.:

I am so, so sorry to hear what is going on with your little girl. I got goosebumps.

Do both!

I pray that she is okay and happy and that her dad is just being a jerk...