Having Difficulty with Tween Daughter

Dear A.,
You already answered your own question! Counseling! My niece/daughter went through that for 4 years, and then I found the Chrysallis Center on Broward Blvd.; and she started counseling and even is on concerta. She is bright and doing GREAT now! She loves her "friend" who visits with her at school and at home! With-in this past year, she is now ready to come off the medication and take control of her own life as a almost 9 yr. old should be able to do; and her school work has also improved tremendously! They were able to build her confidence in a way I couldn't. I'm her "mommy"; so she thought I was just being a mommy, but when other adults started encouraging and helping, she has learned to know that she is beautiful and important, by being herself! God bless you and good luck!
In my prayers,
Kathy N. & Family

Hi A. - Boy can I sympathize with you! My oldest turned 13 YESTERDAY. She has always been a "Mommies" girl until about 2 months ago when I let her and her sister (11), have a sleepover with a friend of mine (who I trust). She has 1 daughter living at home and she is 17. A nice teenager by today's standards. I have always been strict on my 3 children and raise them with Christian values. I am not big on make-up, fake nails, hair, fashion etc as I think girls should have a "Childhood" and not look like hoochies at 12 or 13. Anyway they had a lot of fun and did all the girly stuff that I normally would not spend time doing (going to the mall). It was all washed off by the time I picked them up. No problem.

But her attitude changed after that! She started being a little mouthy, getting an attitude over chores (that we all have to share), the "it's not fair - woe is me" thing started AND THE TEARS! OMG Then she wanted to know what was the oldest age a boy could be for her to date him - I was shocked. She never showed any interest in boys - they were gross to her. All this and she is getting teased at school because she has not started her period or gotten noticable boobs!

All I can say A. is that we just have to hang in there, be consistant in our approach and try not to take it personally when they are hideous to us. Then take away all their priviledges for the week!! LOL

I have always made my children earn their priviledges anyway and I still will, you want a cell phone - make honor roll/bring up your grades etc.

Maybe we should start a support group for "Moms With Teenagers" LOL
You are not alone - I will watch this space for help from other Mom's I need it too.

M. F

Puberty is a stage of hormonal imbalance. Have her hormones checked. Hope you have insurance, or can go to the health clinic for a blood test.
We shift in our "terrible twos", puberty and mid-life...
Of course she is growing up, learning about life and it can be scary.
Relax, Mom and understand her developmental stage. Talk to your BF too about this. Open and honest conversation is necessary.
You love your daughter. So sit her down and tell her so. And although you may not understand exactly how she feels, you want to be there for her. And that you ALL will pull through this stage together.
Meanwhile, does she have a talent? Painting, drawing, writing, sports...You mentioned that she is "creative". And school counselors are there for a good reason. Sit down with them and discuss options. Perhaps an after school program, special project with the art department (like we have them anymore, which is a shame) or local park program that has art, theater, whatever her talent is/are...
Blessings, S.

Hang in there!
Handle nutrition 1st- that makes this time easier- no sugar, no soy, helps.
Then YokaReeeder.com- honestly her wisdom has made it possible to live thro this time well,
best, k

Love her inspite of what she is going through. Continue to encourage conversation with her. Most importantly pray and allow the Lord to fight this battle. You may not see the changes right away, but over time the relationship will rekindle and you'll have your happy girl back.