Having Trouble Getting by Baby to Sleep. and Stay Asleep.

try to take him to a chiropractor. I have twin cousins that had the same problem and the chiro made them sleep like rocks.

Have you tried using a baby swing? It was a life saver with all of my kids. I would put them in and tuck a blanket around them so they felt like they were being held. Worked every time!!

My son did this also and I Found that he was teething! I gave him tylenol and he slept through the night! Try also some teething tabs that dissolve under the tongue, they work great!

S.

babies don't sleep straight through the night. That much is for sure. 2-4 hours is pretty good. So do everything you can to rest when you can.

it sounds like the issue is more about techniques for helping your child get to sleep. Staying asleep is another set of techniques.

How many different ways do you hold your baby when he is tired? Some babies like to be held with their head on resting you your shoulder. Others like to be held in a way that looks like how a cat sleeps on a tree branch. Still others like to be cradled in your arms. Try varying your hold, and sway...ear to ear they say. something about the rocking from ear to ear reminds them of how comfortable it was for them in utero. Think about when he rested and when he was active in your tummy. I'll bet he rested when you were moving around, and he was active when you were resting. By carrying him in a comfortable way, you can transition him into sleeping more at night. My father in law has a really good trick too. when holding him in that "cat-sleeping-on-the-branch" position try holding one foot and pressing your thumb into his arch in a constant pattern (like 1 and a 2 and a 3....) Try humming too. DON'T play music as it is stimulating. Instead try running the vacuum cleaner or a hair dryer. It's the background noise that babies like to hear...it is what they have been hearing for 9 months prior.

Oh yeah, one more thing...where does he sleep? In bed with you? my babies each slept in bed with me. it was weird at first as I was worried about rolling on top of them, but I never did and for the most part, they just snuggled into me...all night long. It was kinda nice actually...the family bed.

These can hopefully stop the challenges to get him to calm down. (assuming that he is not hungry, or needs a diaper change) and get in a more restful state.

As for you resting, Rest every chance you get. Even if it is for 30 minutes. if he is resting and you have a chance...rest too. I am not certain if you are nursing, but nursing helps calm babies down too. (you can also sleep with him and let him nurse while you sleep...well almost sleep) It's a lot easier than getting up and going to the rocking chair and being wide awake.

Getting him to stay asleep...feed him the most before he takes his longest nap (which is hopefully at night so you can sleep too).

I just thought of this. one of my children is allergic to milk. it took awhile to figure this out. he cried so much, didn't sleep well, and was just miserable. Then I considered an allergy. So we first cut out the dairy. And that did the trick. I felt so bad because I was so frustrated with him. At an early age, it is easy to develop allergies. The most common are dairy, wheat, and nuts.

HANG IN THERE!

Could he be teething? My daughter got her fist tooth at 3 1/2 months old. Try giving him something cold to suck on.

My other suggestion is try a different type of pacifier. They make so many different kinds and in different shapes and sizes. My daughter was really picky about hers. She would only take one certain kind.

*hugs*

Good luck and God bless. I completely understand about the difficulties (& and rewards!) of being a single mom.

I am not sure what you can do to get him to stay asleep. I just thought that I would let you know that you are not alone. I am a mom of a 5month old that doesn't like to go or stay alseep. I think that my lack of sleep is causing me to loose my smarts. Our MD says that the cry it out method works, it takes a few days for them to learn that they can go to sleep with out you but I am not a fan of that idea either.
If I get any helpful hints I will be sure to share them with you.
Thanks for listening,
T.

First of all, it WILL get better :o) Sometimes babies have a hard time getting into a schedule that will work for them. Do you have a bouncy seat? Those things were lifesavers for me. Try putting him in a bouncy seat when he's tired and let him play with the toy bar until he falls asleep. My kids LOVED sleeping in them for their naps. Plus you can also pick up the whole seat and move him into the bedroom if you are worried about waking him up. You also might want to try to find a different pacifier. Find the one that is closest in shape to his bottle. He may never take one but it's worth a try. Only my first child took one. If you are sharing a room with him I would get an air purifier to create white noise because it's easy to wake each other up when it's so quiet.
My Ped. told me that when my kids turned 6 months old they were old enough to sleep through the night in. Put them in their crib and let them learn to sooth themselves. Usually by that time they are only taking 2 bottles during the night. I just let them cry a little and sooth themselves the first time and then give the bottle the second time and after a week or two I got rid of the second bottle too. Then they learn that they don't need to drink during the night. I always gave them cereal and a bottle at 8 pm and off to bed. They were sleeping from 8 pm - 7 am from then on. The sooner you get on a good schedule the better. After the age of 6 months, if you don't have something in place it will get harder to start something and neither of you will get any sleep.
Good luck, you can do it,
J.

you may not aprove of this and i really dont approve of this. i was in your same position. i'm not a single mom though but it felt like it because my fiance has to get up at 4 in the morning to go to work. but anyways. you could either give your a child a dose of baby tylenol. the smallest dose to be sure your not giving him too much. or you could have him sleep with you in your bed. i did the bed thing everynight. i didnt get much more sleep because i was worried about her falling off the bed or my fiance rolling on top of her but it got her to get some sleep at night. so there you go. 2 suggestions. i hope you find something that works.

A book I highly recommend is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr, Marc Weisbluth. The great thing about this book is it goes through age by age how much children should be sleeping and how often. After reading this book and following the advice it sounds like your son is over tired (as are you!) and that is why he is having a hard time falling asleep. The most important thing is consistent naps. The most important one being no more than 2 hours after he wakes up in the morning. If it takes him a while to fall asleep I would start the soothing process 1.5 hours after he wakes up so he is asleep by 2 hours. It sounds like you already know he needs naps every two hours, you've done a good job of reading the signs. The problem is, if he is already cranky and rubbing his eyes then he is overtired. So I would definately start soothing after 1.5 hours of wakeful period so he is in crib (or swing or car seat) by 2 hours. Start with this but I highly recommend reading the book, it is a lifesaver. After 6 months, you could do the cry it out (which by the way doesn't mean just letting the baby cry and cry and cry, there is soothing involved here too) but at 4 months he is too young. Babies actually need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep and learn how to sleep. You have to be consistent, you are teaching your son valuable lesson and everyone will be happier once they are well rested. Good luck!

You may not believe in the cry it out method, but if you find it is worth a try, it will be fine for both of you. Some even say it is healthier for the babies lungs, if nothing else, it will help create a healthier sleep habit for you both. He needs to learn how to soothe himself and go to sleep.
But you have to do what works for you, I just don't want you (or any other parent) to feel bad if you do try it. I had postpartum depression and had no other choice but to let her cry it out cometimes. Now she is 3 and a completely healthy and happy little girl. And since it worked for us, I am now I am pregnant and ready to have another baby (when she was a baby, I thought I would never want a crying baby again).
Something to help you get some rest sometime, if someone is willing to take him for a couple of hours or the night, let them, then you go home and take a napor sleep for a night. Good luck with whatever you do.

Do you have a well established bedtime and bedtime routine? We started our son on a routine when he was a month old -- up until 7pm (even if he is a little cranky), bath, bottle, a little rocking and then down for the night. It took us about a month to get him to go down easily, but now at 5.5 months he goes down with less than 10 mins of rocking him. At about 4.5 - 5.5 months he did start waking up in the night (not for a bottle) and just wants to be up for an hour or so. But he'll just lay and play quietly to himself and then gets tired again and we put him back down. This happens 1-3 times a week.

So, I guess what I am suggesting is if you don't have a solid bedtime routine -- establish one. If he gets more sleep at night, he may start napping better as well. Our son has always been a bad napper, but once he started sleeping 9+ hours a night his napping got a little better too. He still sleeps every 2-3 hours, but he'll sleep for 45-2hrs now at a nap instead of 15mins.

We've also found that during the day he sometimes needs to be taken to a quiet of calm place for him to unwind a little before he'll fall asleep (this we learned after MUCH crying at nap times). A crib aquarium works well for us.

Our son also sleeps with a sound machine -- we use the ocean setting.

Hi E.,

I really feel for you. Sleep deprivation is so tough, especially when you know that both you and your baby need the sleep, but neither of you can get it. I don't have all the answers, but I'll share what has helped (a lot!) for my 4.5-month old. Babies have a lot of trouble falling asleep and staying asleep once they get overtired or overstimulated. Their bodies produce adrenaline to keep them awake if they are kept up past when they get tired, so then they have trouble settling down. My best advice is to try to figure out what tired signs your son shows before he gets overtired (i.e., before he's cranky and rubbing his eyes). Some babies turn their heads away from you or a toy, some kind of zone out, some start rubbing their cheek, some get fidgety, some start to kind of shout a bit when they are cooing . . . It might take a couple days of observing before you figure out what your son does regularly when he first starts to get tired. Once he shows that tired sign, start winding him down with a short nap routine ASAP. The sooner you can get him into his sleeping spot after his first tired sign, the better. And you might be surprised by how soon his first tired sign appears after he wakes up: Our 4.5-month old lasts only 1-1.5 hours before he gets tired again. By 2 hours, he's too overtired to sleep well.

BTW, our son has reflux and is on medication for it; he sleeps much better in his car seat than in a crib. Even for babies without reflux, the car seat is a cozier spot, though of course they'll need to transition to the crib before they're too terribly old--a challenge for another day.

I hope you find a solution for you and your baby ASAP. I know the feeling of not being able to stand the sleep deprivation for one more moment. Hang in there, and take care.

ADDED IDEA: If your son doesn't seem to give any clear tired signals before he gets overtired--or you want to try something before you've had a chance to observe him for a while to figure out his tired signals--you can try working with what you already know. Since he's overtired about 2 hours after waking up, try soothing him to sleep after 1 hr 45 min, or an hour and a half, before he's overtired, and see if that helps.

Hi E.,

I'm sorry to hear that you're having problems with your little one sleeping. Lack of sleep can drive you CRAZY!

My little one was doing exactly the same thing, and when I talked to the pediatrician it was figured out that he had acid reflux.

I don't know if he's breasfed or not but mine was and he STILL had it, turns out it was due to something more serious, but Google it and find out all you can about it. Just because your little one isn't losing weight doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have this. Mine was eating like a pig and gaining weight in the 90th percentile and still had this. I encourage you to be informed and keep on top of your pediatrician. If you try a couple medicines and this doesn't work be sure to request an upper GI.

Once we got my son on a medication that worked he slept considerably better, like 4-6 hour increments instead of 1-2. AND I got some rest too, and he became a happier baby.

Take care, don't be afraid to ask for help to get some rest as well. These first few months are so difficult, and as a single mom you need to get recharged too.

Good Luck!

This may seem like a strange question, but do you have a baby sling? When my son was a newborn he was much like you described, and the only way to get him to go to sleep sometimes was to put him in the sling and walk around. I couldn't put him down, but at least I could do a few household things like laundry and dishes while he was sleeping in the sling.

He is obviously wanting to suck for comfort, maybe he has reflux? Something to ask your Dr. about. My son had reflux a bit at the beginning too, and sometimes he just wanted to nurse for comfort because he was uncomfortable, but letting him nurse made the reflux worse. Again, the sling worked well to help him calm.

Have you tried letting him sleep in a swing? That way he is sitting up, and maybe the motion will calm him. Something to think about. Some people may say that is a bad habit to get into, but it might help get through a hard patch. I have a friend who's son slept in his swing the first 5 months of his life.

A book you might like is the No Cry Sleep Solution by E. Pantley. I think it's great, and she has lots of suggestions for sleep issues and not letting your baby cry.

Jess

SAHM to 2 year old Charlie and 3 1/2 month old Joey.

Just a note:
Please don't use a bottle nipple as a pacifier or 'tape the end.' The mom who stated this meant well, but the choking risks are huge.

Pacifiers are specially designed to not be able to be swallowed. The plain bottle nipples don't have this feature. Even the huge nipples could fold in baby's mouth and get lodged in the throat.

Hello my name is L. and I have 4 kids ages 17*12*5*2 so I have some experience. I havn't really had a whole lot of sleeping issues but my co-worker has had a big problem with her son but different from yours. I would really talk to your doctor I would really be concerned it sounds like there is something going on with him. For him to be so sleepy and then can't go to sleep is very odd.That is just way to much work. You could also check into a sleep study center.

I would recommend a baby wrap (like the Moby Wrap - Slingstation.com) to wrap your baby to your chest. My daughter would only nap that way for the first 5 months, and it really did wonders in terms of her being able to sleep during the day. I would walk around and rock with her in it, and she would fall asleep pretty fast. If you have a recliner, you can lay back while he's in it and you can both sleep. This way you can at least establish a napping schedule, then worry about weaning from the wrap later.

My daughter also loved to be swaddled. They have velcro swaddlers that you can buy that work great with bigger babies.

The big thing that you should try to do is establish a schedule and stick to it religiously. I know it is hard, but that would be the most helpful to you and your baby. Good luck!

I also have problems getting my six week old daughter to take naps or sleep at night. I also do not believe in the "cry out" method. I believe it is cruel as an infant that young has no concept of their surroundings beyond what they can immediately see. They lack the ability to soothe themselves or calm themselves. I would rather stay up all night with my daughter so that she knows she is loved than listen to her wail.
Have you tried gas drops? Also maybe try Johnson & Johnson lavender bedtime wash and lotion, it smells so good and is very calming. If nothing else speak to your pediatrician. You may think that this isn't important enough, but there could be an underlying medical problem. Most importantly, if you just feel you can not handle him crying, contact a local crisis nursery. They have resources and can even help find someone to help you so you can get some rest. Hang in there, it won't last forever!!!

have you tried swaddling your baby with a blanket, we did that with our son which helped at that age. he may be hungry still at night so maybe offer a bottle before he goes to sleep and again in the night. we have a glider rocker that we have put many miles on rocking to sleep. we also used a sleep sack at times too which our son liked and he stayed warm. maybe take him to his pediatrician to check his ears, our son would cry a lot when we layed him down when he had an ear infection. hope this helps, D.

Hi! Before I had my kids I was bound and determind to have them sleep trough the night. Three children later I have been very sucessful. 1st child slept through the night at 6weeks my second 5 weeks and my thrid was also 6 weeks. I owe it all to this book that I read and I don't know if you will be interested but it is called "Baby Wise" and it is all about getting into a patern of doing things and beinging very consistant with the way you do things everyday.
I am also a Child Care provider and they teach you that repitition make a child feel safe. Also remember that a child comes into this world needing guidence from it's parent they don't know what it right or wrong you teach them that. I hope that this is a little helpful. Good Luck to you and your baby!!
M.

My daughter that is now 20 months old. I did the wake up with her every 2-4 hours and I am a stay at home mom. After she turned a year. I tried the cry it out method. It took 3 nights till she stopped. I was lucky that I had the support of my husband. It is tough when it is just you. I waited a year that was too long maybe but I did what I thought was best.
Hang in there and everything is a stage!
M. K

As cruel as it sounds, sometimes the cry it out method is the only way. Especially if they are feeding off your anxiety. My daughter didn't like to sleep and after looking to remedies for colic, etc., I had to resort to the cry it out method. She would cry for a long time but eventually they learn to comfort themselves.

Have you tried the E.A.S.Y. (Eat, Activity, Sleep, YOUR time) schedule? It's in the book, "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg (I promise you this is the only thing that kept us sane during those first several months!). Your baby will naturally want to sleep more at night, but you must "teach" him when the night-time is. It sounds like he's just really over-tired. Try feeding him right away when he wakes up, then keep him up for some "activity" time (play with him, etc., but keep him awake). But watch for signs of tiredness (rubbing eyes, can't focus on one thing, etc.). When he's tired, then put him down. He should sleep for you. Then at night before you put him to bed, "tank up" his little belly with formula/b'milk, just a little activity time, and then off to bed. I also do not believe in the cry-it-out method, but just go in every 5-10 minutes to reassure him, then leave again. He should get it after a couple of days. Try reading the book -- it's a life-saver! Also, swaddling, swinging, and "shushing" in his ear might help... My kids slept really well when they had "white noise" in their bedroom. They slept really well with just a fan in their room, turned on high. Hope this helps... Good luck!

My daughter slept in her infant car seat for the first 6 months of her life. She would wake up frequently if we tried to lay her down flat in her crib or play pen. The dr. thought she had minor reflux and just had us move her position during the day often to prevent flat head. Hang in there--and check out the reflux possibility if you haven't!

E.,
Every Mom feels your pain. Everyone has great suggestions. Have you had your child checked for acid reflux? It sounds like he has some of the symptoms. If he wants to be held upright, etc. he might have reflux. I would call you pedi for some advice. My cousin has an extreme case of it and can only sleep sitting in the swing. You might want to try that. I would also suggest starting a strict schedule of feedings/sleep patterns. I know it is hard as a single Mom but it couldn't be any worse then it is now. Allow your son to eat only every 3 or 4 hours and only so much.

My daughter was like your son after I quit nursing her at 7 months. My doctor gave me flavored pacifier. It smells like vanilla. She LOVED that and slept like a baby :) after that. Remember it takes at least one week for each suggestion to actually work, so don't give up after one or two nights. Everything takes time.
Good luck, and try to find someone to take over for one night so you can sleep.

I completely feel for you. My son is 6-1/2 months old and I still have yet to figure out how to get him to sleep through the night. Like your son, he wakes up several times and it's hard to get him back to sleep. The only thing I've found that even remotely works is to lay him in bed next to me. Then he might sleep for 3 hours. I don't like doing this though because his older brother got into this habit and he's almost 4 and still won't sleep in his own big boy bed, but sometimes you just get so exhausted you don't have a choice. Do you have a grandparent or friend that might be able to take him for a night so that you can get some well deserved and needed rest? I wish you the best of luck.

E.
I too have this problem! I recently purchased two books E. Pantley "No CRy Sleep Solution" and "The Baby Whisperer" and combined the techniques.Let me tell you it has been two weeks and my 7 month old now only wakes up once and it is only for a few minutes(YEAH!!) try it what do you have to lose? I am nursing and I was so worried I would be the only to comfort her because that is all she would want to do and again now my husband, friend or whoever can put her down!! Trust me I am a first time mom who has no family in the state and my hubby works 14 hour days so I know it's tough but try this and hang in there you can do it!!!
J.

try making a pacifier out of the bottle nipple. tape the end or something so he doesn't suck air and get gas. does he have gas?...use gas drops. but I would try to make a pacifier out of the bottle nipple and see how that works. it does take some time to get a baby used to a pacifier and eventually it will work magic. I hope this helps, I have twins and know how it is to not get sleep. it makes everything 10x harder to deal with. does a swing work - my first child wouldn't sleep unless he was in a swing. does your baby have reflux?

Just a note about the pacifier: this was done for my child at a well respected hospital - they did put something on the end so it wasn't swallowed - obviously. This has worked for numerous parents - if nothing else worked. I should have explained this more clearly for you. I apologize.

I wish you the best luck. I also agree with the mom about white noise - it was a life saver to us and we still use it for our 17 mo boy and 4 mo old twin girls - they sleep so consistent when it is on. The girls schedule is up for 1.5 hours then sleep around 1.5 - 2 hours - they don't budge from it at all. They wake to eat.

Hi E.... you poor girl! I don't know if you have the resources to do this (being a single mom and all), but I'm going to suggest it anyway. My brother-in-law recently went to a chiropractor and had amazing results. Chiropractors really work with the entire nervous system more than just the spine (like I thought). He commented on the children/babies that were in the waiting room with their parents and the chiropractor shared that he sees a lot of little ones. The most amazing story he shared with my brother-in-law was that a woman who had a three month old... also at her wits end... was referred to him. The baby had not slept more than 15 minutes at a time since its birth and would cry (like your little guy) even though it was soooo tired. The chiropractor said that he felt along the baby's neck and did one minor adjustment with his thumb (it doesn't take much on little ones) and the baby (who had been crying the entire time) immediately stopped crying and went to sleep. He said the woman started crying in relief. You might find it's just something out of place... and since a baby's nervous system is still developing, it wouldn't be a bad idea to have him checked out (sometimes they offer free consultations).

I now go to a chiropractor for adjustments that help keep my sinuses clear (weird, I know, but it's amazing) and one of the chiropractors in the office specializes in children and infants... so there are "specialist" chiropractors out there, but I'd ask for references. Also, my chiropractor is very willing to take payments if necessary so even if you don't have good insurance that will cover a visit, you should be able to set something up... and some have assistance as well.

Good luck and I hope you find some relief soon! If you have friends and/or family nearby, they might be able to take him for a few hours to give you a break as well... just a thought. You need time for yourself as well so don't feel bad about asking those who love you to help. They may be wanting to do something for you but not know how to bring it up.

Have you tried swaddling him? I have a 7 month old in my care that still thrashes around in her crib until I swaddle her. She fusses for 1-2 minutes then falls asleep for an hour or two. But she's really mad if she's all loose in her crib. So I give her what she needs. A close, warm environment. Not too tight, not too warm. She can wiggle out of the blanket when she wakes up. Works like a charm. Funny thing is she resisted it at first, but when a baby thrashes like that, it seems as if they are having trouble coping with their physical freedom. Try holding and or rocking him while swaddled, then lay him down after he falls asleep. I had one girl (infant) who cried no matter what. Swaddled or not. Turned out she had a benign tumor/cyst in her back. It may have been causing pain. Hang in there. :)

Gosh - it's tough getting these littlies to sleep isn't it? We had similar problems and still deal with ups and downs with our now 16 mo. I read and read and tried to be very consistent as many others have suggested. I am not an advocate of the "cry it out method" although everytime we made any progress we did have to let our daughter cry a bit. We started really only responding to her if she was truly truly upset. In the early days we were always jumping up and running to her even in the night, until it became a constant battle. Eventually we would let her cry a little and see if she could settle herself and then we would go and settle her in her crib without taking her out or talking etc. We would just shush her and maybe place a hand on her. It did seem to do the trick and she was sleeping through again. Whatever happens, know that lots of others have had similar problems, and don't be afraid to ask everyone you know for support! Some good books I liked were the Baby Whisperer, and Save our Sleep - we used elements of each and tried to be flexible but consistent.

Maybe see if you can have someone help you for a night - grandma? so you can have a proper sleep and be able to focus when you are ready to start making small changes.

GOOD LUCK!

AT four months he is going through a growth spurt. I know he doesn't need to eat eveyr hour though, so he needs to be coaxed back to sleep. Babies are loud sleepers, and often will rustle about in thier sleep, evne talk or whimper! If you give him a minute instead of rushing right to him you will probably find he goes back to sleep, or quiets down.

Work on it at naptime. When he seems tired put him down, get him a lovey/blankie/stuffed animal, and leave the room. Go in every few minutes and comfort him, but don't pick him up. Make his naptime and bedtime routine very consistent. Stick it out, he'll cry but it'll be ok. I'm not a cry it out advocate at all, I actually very much dislike it, but at the point you are at, he's been trained to only sleep with moms assistance you now you need to change that.

And don't use babywise.

E.-

I am a single mom of a son now 3 who didn't sleep through the night until 9 months!! I had the same problem with those classes and articles-- like maybe I could send the cat in to rock him. All I can say is what finally got him on track was a very strict schedule-- consult with his pediatrician about when/ how much he should be sleeping-- he needs to sleep like 12-14 hours ( would be nice if it wasn't in 1 hour increments!!) I kept to his schedule like a crazy person (naps, eating, etc) and never varied it and that worked. I slept with my son for the first six months and we all got more sleep that way-- people will say not to do that but it was survival mode for me. Also try OTHER pacificiers-- my son was breast fed so never took anything like that but I know when he went to daycare at 3 months we had to try literally 10 bottles to find one he liked. I also found that once it was even remotely warm enough I got him a lot of fresh air which helped him sleep too. So my advice in check with your pediatrician, ( also can check for reflux which makes it hard for them to lie flat-- my son had a wedge in his crib for 4 months) get a schedule and stick with it-- try other pacis and get him outside when you can. I know what you are going through and it's really really hard!!! Good luck.

My daughter had the same problem when my grand daughter was 3-4 months old. We talked to a nurse and she said to try 2 things: one was to wrap her tightly in a blanket, which worked most of the time, and the other was Mylicon Gas Drops which worked almost all of the time. When she would scream as if in pain was usually when the gas drops seemed to help. But we got a lot more sleep between these two things. I hope this helps you, I know what you are going through.