Dear M.,
I feel for you, it sounds like you have a very heavy load to carry. I agree with you that you are trying to do too much at one time. Work and school are good things, but your family is also very important. It seems that you are not really able to spend much time with your children. These first 5 years are so crucial to developing your relationship with them and them with you. They need to know that they matter to you and if you're always gone, they will build their trust and bonds with someone else. You will also miss out on many important steps in their lives. God has given them to you to love and train; each day is a gift that should be treasured and used to enjoy them and teach them about life.
If you do not need to work for the finances, then I encourage you to stay home with the kids at this time in their lives. They will only be young once, don't miss out on these important years. It's great that you have a supportive husband and that he wants to take care of you. Let him! It doesn't make you any less important. Marriage is about teamwork, it doesn't matter who brings home the paycheck. Each person contributes to the family whether you're bringing home money, cooking, cleaning or raising the children. Raising a family is a huge job already...stay at home moms don't get a paycheck, but the work that they do is irreplaceable and so critical to the well-being of their children.
It also sounds like you there isn't much time or energy left for you and your husband in your own relationship. Don't let school or work rob you of enjoying and strengthening your marriage. A good marriage needs attention and affection too.
You have had to face many hardships on your own. It's great that you now have your husband, your life partner to deal with the challenges of life. You no longer have to do it all by yourself. This is a good thing. It doesn't mean you're weak; two is better than one. You can accomplish so much more together.
If you still want to work or go to school, have you considered a part-time job or just taking one class to lighten your load? It's easy to want to do everything all at once, but you have to set your priorities, know your limits and make decisions together with your husband that will benefit the whole family.
Hope this has been helpful.
L.