He Peed on the wall...literally!

I'm the "wait until they're ready" mom on the potty training. What I'd do...

I'd tell him "I see you aren't ready for potty yet" and put him in cloth diapers.
Because he is in pull-ups, he isn't getting the real affect of wetting, so that's another problem to deal with. After working with kids for a long time, I strongly recommend NOT using pull-ups for anything other than bedtime.

But look at it from the big picture. First, you are driving the potty-training train ("We have had some success getting him to pee in the toilet IF we take him and sit him on the toliet. He does not go on his own.") This is a BIG indicator he's not interested.

He's not experiencing what PT should be, which is "I wet myself and feel myself being wet in my clothes and I *don't* like this, so I learn how my body is telling me to go potty AND I respond to those cues by getting there on time."

Instead of pee being a nuisance, because you aren't letting him get soaked (as he would in underpants), it's become a toy.

I'd take a break. Put the potty away. Put him back in regular diapers (No pull-ups during the day.) Tell him "I see you aren't ready to put your pee in the potty, so we're going to take a break." And let it go for a few months.

To eliminate confusion about *where* to pee, consider teaching him to sit when he's peeing, instead of standing. He has too much freedom in that position (as in, he can do it anywhere.) Be sure you have him help clean-up. Keep your tone/body neutral emotionally, so there's no attention-getting "mom got mad" pay off. If something is ruined by pee, do not offer to replace it. Let him clean off his toys, the wall, etc. DO NOT talk to him about it other than in that moment, and only regarding what needs to be done. The more he gets "that's disgusting!" and a big reaction from you, the more attention he gets.

When you do resume, just training pants. Use rubber pants if you need if you are worried about a mess. I'll say this and it's going to sound harsh, but it is true: pull-ups become a crutch for both the kids and the adults during potty training and nearly always prolong the process because they aren't getting wet. They are nothing more than glorified diapers, so kids DO NOT hustle to get to the toilet b/c the pull-up catches the pee. Only when they get icked-out/tired of peeing themselves will they willingly get on board with learning how to use the toilet.

(My son wasn't interested at 3 y.o., by the way-- we tried four months later and I put him in underwear all day. In a week he had about a handful of accidents and was truly upset to wet himself. He learned how to use the toilet VERY quickly within that week and rarely had accidents after that. He *hates* wetting himself. So, get your son out of anything that keeps him from feeling wet.)

OMG I laughed. I'm sorry, I've been there. I am a pro potty trainer. Almost every one of mine were done just after their 2nd birthday (don't ask me about bottles though lol).

Then comes #8, she was ready. I knew she was ready. I also knew that with a whole lot of patience on my part and some persistence I could have her done in a week.

Bwahahahaha she was ready, but had other ideas of her own. The first day, she decided to stand over our 4 week old puppies and pee on them...she was aiming. We clean the puppies up, and her, and explain how we don't pee on our animals, even if a puppy has pee'd on you.

About an hour later she says 'mommy I pee'd'. Awesome right? Until we realized she pee'd in my kitchen plunger. Now she's just over 2, has amazing vocab for a 2 year old. She's smart, this shouldn't be happening.

So again I explain that we only use our potty. There's 3 throughout the house , no reason to be peeing in strange places. Off I send her...where does she pee next? A cup one of the kids left on the table.

Needless to say she went back into diapers for another month. The second time around she was done in a week, just like I had hoped she'd be the first time.

Maybe take a step back a little, it's very possible he likes the reaction he is getting, even if it is a negative reaction. Potty training and food are two area's that kids really do have control over. They know this, so it may be he isn't ready, even if he is ready.

Oh and most kids need to be taken to the bathroom, and have mom or dad sit with them. For some kids it's for quite a while.

Sorry but I don't agree with scarlett. Peeing on the wall and the train table is a no no. He needs to be punished. IT's not like he accidently peed on the wall or the train table. He pulled down his pants and peed on the wall and the table. Since he is potty training he knows it goes IN THE POTTY. I would have been harder on him it would have started with making him clean up and time out the first time but the second time , that would have been a pop on the butt. He JUST got in trouble for doing the same thing and he did it again. His memory can't be that bad and this is major. This isnt' oh he spilled his milk , this is he on purpose pulled down his pants and urinated on his train table like the town drunk.

Ok, I may be in the minority here but I really don't think you should be punishing him for this. He is still so young (I have one just slightly yonger) and is still learning all of this! Punishing him will probably only set back your progress.

I would lovingly guide him instead of instilling punishment. He needs to be taught what to do, even though you feel like you have shown him a million times, this is all brand new to him! He doesn't understand what he is doing is wrong. Please don't punish that poor little guy. =(

I think he may be trying to tell you that either a) he isn't ready or b) this is just a stepping stone as part of HIS personal process. How does he do otherwise? Behavior ok? I honestly think you just need to try to be more patient and show him the proper way, over and over and over again.

Good luck!

ETA: I agree, you should talk to your ped about this. I bet her or she will tell you punishment will esclate the situation, but I am no ped! Have you done other research?

I guess I would also like to know his demanor during these wall peeing sessions. Is he looking at you with devilish eyes and smiling and saying "mom, you will never control me, muahahhahahah!", or is he just being a typical two year old and somewhat knowing what he is doing is wrong and yet still discovering his own body and getting used to the fact that stuff squirts out and I can write on walls with it? There is a difference!

He's testing out the limits... where (exactly) am I allowed to go? Tell him. The first day or so of training with my son, we were so encouraging "it's OK. No big deal... blah...blah...blah". The message he received was that it was OK to go wherever he happened to be at that moment in time.

So, we changed the message. We didn't yell or punish, but firmly said "No. You go to the bathroom on the potty. Here is a paper towel. You need to clean up your mess." We also had him on an "every hour whether you need to or not" schedule for 2 full days. At the end of day 3, it was over.

Make sure you are sending him the right message... including "if you make a mess, you will clean it!"

Never, ever punish during potty training! That will create resistance.

I think you need to do naked training during the day, with a potty seat nearby.

Talk to your ped about it, A.. I think it might be most helpful.

Dawn

It's because he's not ready yet.
He's not mature enough. Even if he showed some signs, it's clear he
does not truly get it yet.
Don't punish though. That will set him back.
Take him to the toilet often but don't expect him to have a pristine record
of peeing in the toilet each & every single time.
Keep using the diapers. Does he have clothes on over the diapers? It
would help to have those extra layers.
Don't let more than 2 hours go by before taking him to the toilet again.
Soon enough he will be ready.
Even if he shows signs, it still takes time to finesse the process.
Each child is different so give him time.
He'll get there.
Remember, setbacks are normal in anything in life (look at the stock market for example.....up one day, down the next)
Be patient, be loving, be enouraging.. He will get there......all in due time.
He's too young. He doesn't quite get it but he's getting there.

i agree with Krista, make him clean it up, tell him firmly WHERE it's ok to go, have dad show him. AND YOU Take him every hour and a half. he'll get it!

How often are you taking him to the bathroom during the daytime? You might need to increase the frequency until he no longer has these accidents. And yes, I do consider it an accident. He probably peed on the train table and wall because by the time he realized he had to pee he knew he wasn't going to make it to the toilet in time. I think what he's telling you is that he needs more hand-holding during his potty training. A kid his age is so busy playing that it is very tough to listen to the body's signals and get to that potty in time. Make sure your potty chair is very close to where he is playing. I would even put him in just underpants, or even commando, and let him run around like that.

ETA: Normally I'd agree with everything that Hazel said in her reply, but in this particular instance, I tend to think that he IS ready for it, since he is going through the trouble of removing the pull-up. He just needs more support along the way.

we live in a place where our son could go outside. he loved it! if you have a privacy fence and its something your up to it might help him. his daycare prevented us from fully training at that age. once he was three we switched daycares and he was trained quickly. I dk how calm you were about the whole thing but its good to let them really know this is not ok and he will not do it again. allowing yourself to show him you are angery with peeing anywere other than the potty (or outdoors)