Help, 2 1/2 Year Old Girl HATES to Have Her Hair Brushed!!!!!!

Updated on October 08, 2008
K.M. asks from Aubrey, TX
9 answers

Hi Moms! I am in need of serious help!! My 2 1/2 yr. old daughter has a head full of hair just like Shirley Temple's...beautiful hair, but she absolutely throws the worlds WORST and I mean WORST tantrum when it has to be brushed and unfortunatley curly hair HAS to be brushed especially in the am. Every morning she's up at 5:45 getting ready for our day and when I tell her it's time to get ready she just goes into a tailspin about brushing her hair!!!! She doesn't even like it to be touched, just the thought of it gives her serious anxiety..well, I have to play the mean role which often causes for a terrible start to the day for both of us...I try Johnson's leave in conditioner, detangling spray, water, the Ouchless brushes by Goody...she even tries to help sometimes.....it's just a terrible ordeal. I have GOT to find a way to make it better...and lots of people say to get it cut off...HA..I can't even imagine her sitting in a chair to get her haircut, that would be a worse joke that trying to brush it...I truly am at the end of my rope w/ this. I don't know what else to do. It's been going on over 8 months, EVERYDAY! Does anyone have any surefire solutions or has anyone been through this?? I'm just really struggling right now with a productive way to deal w/ it instead of us both just getting mad at eachother....please help w/ any thing you have to offer. At this point I'll try anything!!!! Thank you!!

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M.E.

answers from Dallas on

Good Morning K.,

My daughter just turned 4 last week. It is now that I can brush her hair.
I thought it was the brush or the comb. I bought like 10 different types.

The trick for me was to use conditioner after washing her hair. SHe hated getting her hair brushed because of the knots and tangles.

Good Luck

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

I was the same way at that age - I just had lots of fine hair and my mother did cut it off and honestly, that was the best approach. Yes, it will be difficult to get her to sit still for that, BUT that sitting still is far less frequent than daily hair brushing AND likely less painful (as another poster noted, it is painful to get that hair brushed when there are snarls).

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H.B.

answers from Dallas on

You sound like my Mom talking about me as a child. First thing I can tell you...never brush curly hair. To keep it under control you need to get it cut in layers, top layers shorter than bottom layers. This will help keep some of the tangles out. Use a really good moisturizing conditioner, with every wash then pick through it with a big plastic pick while it is still wet, start at the bottom with the pick, not the top. I don't know if I would put any products in it at this age or not, you could try a mousse or gel but I didn't start using anything until I was about 11. Now I use mousse. Blow it dry with a diffuser. If you don't plan on washing every day, you will want to spray it damp, you can use water or try a detangling spray, and pick it out starting from the bottom up. Just make sure you pick through it everyday, maybe even twice a day to keep those tangles from matting!

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

Try using picks instead of a brush. My daughter's hair is Shirley Temple curly and so thick we can barely get a large hair tie around it. She used to pitch a fit too.

Get her up earlier and let her work the worst of it out herself. Give her a spray bottle with water and a detangling spray. Also, look at the fructis (I am not getting up to look at the spelling of THAT, lol) products. Get the spray curling gel. I have curly hair too, it is just not that thick. I either use the gel after the shower or spritz my hair with water and then the gel, then you scrunch and go. The only time I ever use a brush on mine is if I am putting it in a hair tie, otherwise, I don't even pick it when I get out of the tub, just shake it out and srunch it.

Also, my daughter has found that it makes a huge difference what shampoo she uses. One for getting curls under control.

In an effort to not get up and look at the daughter's hair care products, I came across this website that might be helpful to you. http://www.naturallycurly.com/about-us

Now that I am no longer lazy, my daughter uses Pantene Hydrating Curls Shampoo and Conditioner, Pantene Extra Straight, Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum, Biosilk Silk Therapy Conditioner, Neutrogena T/Gel (if your daughter's skalp dries out), and a couple of others. Some products she likes better than others, some she uses when she knows she is going to try to straighten it, and hair just needs something different occasionally to stop product build-up.

One thing I would recommend is hightailing it to Hulen Mall and buying one of the hair straighteners from Italy, one of the kiosks on the lower level near Macy's. I don't remember how much it was, but it was cheaper than many you would buy at the beauty supply and was unbelievably effective. Made of porcelain I think and kept at a lower temp so it does not fry your hair. Even if she appreciates her hair and leaves it curl most of the time, she will occasionally want to straighten it and it would be an excellent investment.

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C.F.

answers from Dallas on

we cut my little girl's hair to just barely touching her shoulders and it solved the problem. tangles do hurt a great deal. try having her sit on your lap for the hair cut. tell her it will hurt less to comb if if is shorter

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A.

answers from Dallas on

I would do a few things. Yes, i agree that you should get it cut some..depending on how long it is I guess. And, of course, use a good conditioner at night after bath. In fact, if you can squeeze it in, the morning might be the best time to wash it, because it is super easy to brush after a good conditioning! And my final push..old fashioned bribery!! I am thinking that after she does everything else she is supposed to for the morning, you tell her she can watch her favorite tv show, and have a sucker (like a dum dum or something) while you brush her hair! Obviously use LOTS of conditioning spray (unless you decide to wash it in the morning) and a wide toothed comb first, followed by a brush. If, she fights you, the sucker is gone. You may have a rough morning or two, so do it over the weekend or something, but it may help give her something to distract her and look forward to instead of dread. Hope that helps some!! ~A.~

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

K.,
I have the same problem with my 2 year old boy. I want to cut his hair but his daddy won't let me. My kids are bi-racial so they have curly hair. It's been a fight with all 3 of them. I can sometimes get to watch spongebob and I brush it when he's watching, or I take a bath with him and brush it in the bathtub with him. I put on lots of conditioner in the tub and use the brush.

My oldest, 13, hated getting her hair brush and we would have wicked fights about it. It wasn't until 6th grade she really started taking a little pride, it's better as the years gone by. My son, 11, has long hair but you can't comb through it anymore. I told him we need to just cut it off, but he's not ready, so it's turning into dreads.

Just brush through the fussiness, I know it's hard, I'm on my 3rd one and it hasn't gotten easy. Good Luck!

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H.N.

answers from Dallas on

This cracks me up! My hair was also a disaster as a child...totally curly! I gave my mom a HARD time about brushing my hair...so she always cut it and it just looked like a big fur ball!!! DO NOT CUT IT!!!!

Well...God played a funny joke on me and I now have a 3 yr old with naturally curly hair and a one year old that is most likely going to as well.

I knew from my past how to get her to let me brush her hair. You can try these ideas:

1.) After bath or shower time, keep some conditioner in her hair overnight-in the morning it will be soft and you will not have to spray her head down.

2.)Use a pick-no brush

3.)This one works on my child..."Do you want a bird to fly in your hair because it thinks that your hair is it's nest??"

4.)Sit her up on the sink so she has to look in the mirror-she can't move this way. Even let her brush her teeth while your comb her hair.

Good luck!

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K.E.

answers from Dallas on

My oldest son had super curly hair until we had it cut and he hated it being brushed as well. I use to condition it when I washed it and then I would use a TON of detangling spray. When he would throw too big of a fit it was time out time because they have to learn that they can't control the situation by throwing a hissy fit. Eventually he would just put up with the brushing because he knew it had to be done and I wasn't going to give in. Good luck.

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