Help! - Sandusky, OH

I'm pretty sure I have a very good reason why your friends child acts taht way to her, and some people may disagree, but it sounds like a lack of respect... because the child hasn't had severe enough punishment--with that being the most harsh punishment, sounds like the child isnt afraid to get in trouble because all she gets is a measly time-out or a play date taken away... thereofre, she isn't afraid to get in trouble and thinks she can do whatever she wants. I definately think mom is being way to easy on her daughter. Its hard to be "mean" when we love our children so, but you'd be surprised, the children get over it, and will end up haveing more respect for the parent (s) in the long run if the parents get more of a backbone-- I also speak from experience.. I started takeing care of mybf's son when he was 2, and he was rude, spoiled, disrespectful, and did not care about other ppl's feelings at all. He is now almost 6, and from me putting my foot down, giving worse punishments etc., he has turned into a polite, well-mannered child.... and he also loves me and has much respect for me and otehr adults now... so although it may be easier said then done... it is by far worth it in the long run! Tell mom to not allow herself to be a doormat to her children! Tough love they call it!!!

Hi Kari,
Since you already have lots of advice about discipline, I'll add that you might consider what cleaning products you're using. I know it sounds crazy in itself, but I have heard numberous testimonies where the toxic chemicals made kids very violent. What if it was something as simple as that? If you would like to know what products will eliminate that possibility, please let me know.
S.

She deffinetly needs some outside help.My daughter was somewhat similar.I took mine to se the family doctor and was told my parenting skills basically stunk.I wasnt exactly thrilled with that because my first born was the complete opposite.I ended up fustrated and came across the number for Child and Adolecense. They have offices based in Canton I think Akron and also Alliance Ohio. Theyll observe her talk to mom and the child and go from there. We found that mine has ADHD and also OD..Opositional Defiency.. sorry if the spelling is messed up. Mine is on medication, seeing a therepist, and also someone comes to vist me at home twice a month to talk with me.. basically its some very needed support.They also offer group counselling and activities and once the children reach age 8 they have a one week camp. If shes able to Id deffinetly refer her to them theyre deffinetly a big help to many including my family! Good Luck

You have had alot of responses and I only read some of them. From what I have read I might have an unique situation. When my younger brother was little the school thought he should have ritilan for ADD, back then ADD was a seperate diagnosise from ADHD and the DSM IV TR has the two grouped together now. However, my parents put my brother in Karate and that worked wonders, my sister did the same for her oldest son. With the right instructor the child learns self-discipline and a lot of other needed skills. However, I know that this might not work because of the cost, which is my problem, but there are other activities that could work the same.
Good Luck

An interesting page to look at is:
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/60/67126

Reading your discriptions I flashed a thought about what if the child has the disorder that I seen on a special not long ago but with adults and it was how adults for no reason turned violent against the police.
It was something chemical in the body that triggered something in the brain that caused this from fear.
These people were quite nice as everyone intervied knew them, and couldn't believe they acted this way with police.
The police tasered a couple of the adults and one was even shot because they were in so much rage.

I would sum it up to some imbalance in the body but what is triggering it at home that don't trigger it at school?
Thats what needs to be sought out.
Hope that web page helps some.
R.

Note: The search page I got the link from was from this search page I looked up
http://us.search.yahoo.com/search?ei=utf-8&fr=ieas-tb...

My friend had the same problem with her some when he was about 3 he was very violent and she finally had him looked at when he started hurting the baby. He is now 6 going on 7 and he has been diagnosed with bipolar and he's on lots of medication. He's not violent anymore as much but still tends to have very big tantrums.

First off, behavior like this is unacceptable, no matter what may be going on with the child. Firm guidelines of acceptable and non-acceptable behavior need to be drawn and inforced not only for the safety of the family but the wellbeing of the child herself.

Second, I would strongly suggest that the mother take her child to her regular doctor and have a referral made to your local Children's Developmental Clinic. I would request that a full run of developmental tests be run, this will look for ADD/ADHD, CAD, hearing, sight, psychological, etc problems. It takes several months to complete the testing and some of it may not be covered by insurance but it is WELL WORTH having run. With some additional paperwork you can usually get insurance companies to pick up most if not all of the charges, but you must prove the tests are necessary with documented reasons through the dr's office.

I would begin there, with strong and enforced guidelines with the child and testing through a specialist. It will take time but changes obviously need to be made for this family to be safe, happy, and well functioning with this child.