HELP!!!! 8 Month Old Gets up All Night

Frustation comes with parenting. Unfortunatly, children go through sleeping patterns that us as parents have little control over. Patience, I know is easier said than done.

I will also recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution - my daughter had sleep problems as well, and I found this book to be the best of all that I read. Very gentle, but effective, suggestions. Wishing you the best!

Try the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It works! Both my kids were tough to get sleeping on their own, and this book was like teh sleep bible in our house. It has great info. Hang in there.

As far as the pacifier part goes, I went through the same thing with my daughter when she was a baby b/c of the pacifier slipping out. Try WubbaNubs. They use a Soothie pacifier, which is what most hospitals use, but they are attached to a little stuffed animal, so they stay sitting up right next to your baby's mouth, and won't roll out. Good luck!

I have an 8 month old boy and a 3 year old girl -- so I know where you are at! The 8 month should be able to put her own pacifier back in her mouth at night if that soothes her. I would put 3 or 4 in the crib so she can find one -- sounds crazy but my sister did that with her son and it worked.

I think you have to let her cry it out...I know it sounds horrible but she physically doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night. I did it about 4 months ago....its hard, but after two or three nights he was sleeping all night.

Is she teething? Sometimes the pain might be waking her up..maybe try motrin before she goes to bed?
Hope this helps! Good luck.

I feel your pain! I have been in the exact same situation you are in right now. It was at 8 months that I finally let my son cry it out. He cried for an hour and forty five minutes the first night, an hour the second night and about 20 minutes the third night. Also, I did not go in in the middle of the night when he would wake up. It was a long couple of days, but he has slept through the night ever since, if he does wake up at 2am, he generally gets himself back to sleep. It feels horrible, laying there wanting to comfort them. You feel like a rotten mom and like your child feels completely abandoned, they know you love them, though. Just give extra attention the next morning. You can't live on no sleep. Think of what a more patient mom you can be when you've had 8 hours of blissful sleep! It is a hard road, but it is worth it, for them and you.
I wish you the best of luck!

She could be teething, because my kids went from sleeping well and then about this time when teeth came in they would wake up. The only two ways to get good sleep was to hold them all night for comfort or to give them a pain reliver.

My reply will be short: read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She has several recommendations from which you can pick and choose, none of which involve crying it out.

I had the same problem! My first ( a boy) slept through the night almost immediately, and my daughter started out well....but after I moved her to her own room it was over. I tried to let her cry it out, but after 45 minutes I caved. She broke my heart. So I thought I would giver her time andI got up with her 4-7 times a night. I was EXHAUSTED.

At 11 months, I couldn't take it anymore. We always read about having a strict "routine", but thought that she was too little to understand routine. BOY did we underestimate her. We started this routine: bath after dinner, story with the family, nursing quietly in her room with soothing music, and then putting her into her bed and leaving quietly. It took three days for her to sleep 7 hours. After a week she was sleeping ten.

I know every baby is different and I wish you luck. And, I am so very sorry for your loss.

In same boat (just posted similar request) so I feel your pain. You might still find the book 12 Hours Sleep at 12 Weeks Old helful but it doesn't offer too much int eh way of helpful advice if your baby is older, but basic prinicples might work and they don't force you to just do the cry it out method. Peace to you sister!

If you want to try to let her cry, then it takes more than one night. You don't have to just sit there listening all night. You can go in after a bit and help her calm down without picking her up. My first was in a co-sleeper until about 3 months and then I put her in her own room and there were definate times of crying but after about 15 minutes I'd go in to calm her down. It took several days and then she was a great sleeper. Now that the baby is here she'll come in our room some time in the middle of the night.... (but thats another story!) We now have a 3 month old that is sleeping next to us in the same co-sleeper and I'm having the same problem. She only sleeps for 4 hours the first time I put her down and then it's like every two hours until about 4 or 5 am when I finally just let her nurse to sleep on my arm. Pretty soon she'll be moving out because I think together in the same room I just wake her up plus you can't wait it out as easy if their just crying/fussing next to you...
anyways I do remember with the older one that I would bring her to bed with me when she woke up in the middle of the night and just sleep with her for the rest. We are also worried about SIDS and smothering her (although I'm a bit more relaxed this time at least with her sleeping next to me). My husband would tell me that shes going to get used to it and we'll never get her out of bed... but my mom actually gave me this useful piece of advise: eventually she'll sleep through the night and you won't be bringing her to bed. That calmed me down and ended up being true. I can't remember though how long that took.
I think that letting them cry it out is really just for getting them to sleep in the first place. If they wake up in the middle of the night, just let her fuss for up to about 15 minutes and see if she settles herself. You can try to go in and do the pacifer and other calming things without picking her up. Finally if all else fails, maybe she's hungry. Believe me I know how annoying it is to keep getting woken up... I've been doing it for the last 3 months (yuk!)
I remember with my older one just turning the monitor off when she fussed... I'd fall asleep and then realize in the morning what had happened.. but she was fine. I figured that if she was really upset, I'd wake up even without the monitor. oh yes and we got a video monitor to ease my SIDS fears...very helpful.
My final thought: your expectation about getting sleep is the greatest indicator of your mood... what I mean is expect to get up or at least woken up a lot and your mood will be better when it does happen.
Good luck!

Hello Denice,

First I would like to say I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. My first suggestion would be if you have time read the Baby Whisperer. Or atleast skim through the parts that are useful to you. It is an amazing book. Its all about getting your child on a schedule rather they are 8 weeks old or 8 months It CAN BE DONE! She even covers a section about pacifiers or "dummies" as they call them in England. She doesntbelieve in the 'cry it out' method, nor do I. This teaches you how your baby can learn self soothing techniques I could go on for hours about the book. I am a single mom and reading this book has been a huge blessing in mine and my sons life. Best of luck to you and God bless!

D.,

I hear you. I have 4 children, co-slept or bed shared and nursed all hours of the night. They were ALL different as far as when they started sleeping through the night, and my youngest -now 3 still has difficulty sleeping through the night...but she has never been consistent on sleep. I know sleep deprivation is really really hard. IT affects us in so many ways. I really wish I had a magic solution for you. But all I an offer you is a big hug and say that this too will pass...hopefully sooner than later:)
I also have some questions for you to answer for yourself.
Your first was and is a great sleeper. Are you expecting your second to be the same? What kind of bedtime routine do you have? (Note that a routine does not an all night sleeper make. It just makes bedtime a nice and expected part of the day). You mentioned you tried the Ferber Method. I tried that as well. ONCE. My own personal belief, I don't think children should be crying themselves to sleep. Whether babies are crying for food, discomfort or just needing mommy, not having thier needs met at a young age can be emotionally hard for them. They are learning to trust the world and their caregivers. With much research and my own experiences and education, I'm not convinced that letting wee ones cry it out is the best method. The Ferber Method, along with a couple of other parenting issues is the only time I let my own strong opinion override my feeling that parents know thier children best and that parents really have inner wisdom. I have heard that the Ferber Method has worked for many families. You have to go with your maternal instinct on that one. If you didn't feel right with it, it wont' work for you and your daughter.
There is a book called THE NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION, that I heard good feedback. Child Development Specialist Penelope Leach's book YOUR BABY AND CHILD has some good ideas for sleeping. You can probably find both of these in the library. Also, between 6-9 months, babies internal sleep clock changes, and that varies child to child. Just keep this in mind when helping her sleep through the night. You said your mom passed away (my condolences), and at the same time you moved your daughter to her own room. I'm wondering if there is a connection between your emotional state and her not sleeping well? Just something to consider. I believe the energy of the mom can affect her children. Not to blame or cause guilt...it's just the physiological connection between mamma and babe. It's the same reason that co-sleeping or bed-sharing helps babies sleep better...the energy/breathing/movements of the mom affects baby in a positive way.
Remember that you are not doing anything wrong. She is not the only baby not sleeping through the night. She just has a different internal clock. Maybe daytime routines are too stimulating for her and she finds it difficult to really settle in during the night. Make a log of her daytime and see if it correlates to her sleeping. In the meantime, while you are learning new ways to encourage her to release you during the night...what ways can you get some rest? Can hubby take over the nite time wakings every other time or every other night? Can you call a trusted friend or family member to babysit so you can nap for a while? What ways to you already know or have that help you feel less frustrated? Do you meditate, know deep breathing exercises? Even when you are stressed and/or tired, getting your mind and body connected will help you listen to your inner wise woman...and then you will know how to take the next step.

Much good energy to you for sleepful nights.

In peace,
A.
mom of 4, Birth and Parenting Mentor
www.birthingfromwithin.com

Google "sleep lady" and buy her book. I was in the EXACT same situation with my daughter at 10m and this worked like a charm. It involves some crying but you are in the room with her so she you know she is just frustrated that she can't fall asleep, not hurt, sad...

We mad MAJOR improvements within a few days.

Personally, I think cry it out just raises their cortisol (stress hormones) so much that it takes them longer to fall asleep and I think Ferber just teaches them to cry until you come back in to check on them. I wasn't a fan of either. I also, tried no cry sleep solution which was great but it taught my daughter to use me as her "sleep crutch" weather it was nursing, rocking, bouncing... I thought no cry sleep solution was good until about 6m. Then I think she was ready to move on. Just my 2 cents. Good luck!

I wouldn't let her cry. If you feel bad about it, it's wrong for you and your family. You will regret it, and you never want to have regrets! Could she be teething? If she is waking up, I am sure there is a reason! Have you tried Hyland's teething tablets? Don't forget that there is a lot going on right now developmentally for her too. I would highly, highly, highly recommend reading The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly. It will save your life, and you never have to let her cry!! Conner STILL at 20 months falls asleep at my breast. He co-sleeps with us. He used to wake hourly. I read the book, started implementing a few simple things, and now (when his teeth don't hurt and he's not sick) sleeps at least 6-8 hours before waking once. I've never tried to get him to sleep continuously throughout the night, because he sleeps long enough for me to feel happy and rested, and that is what matters. Here are some other great links:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.sleepnet.com/infant3/messages/534.html
http://www.alyson.ca/2008/02/cry-it-out-meth.html
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct05p204a.html

My 2nd was the easy one, my first was my challenge. We saw a program on TV where they suggested not just letting them cry as they might feel abandoned. Some kids need to be taught how to put themselves back to sleep. Our daughter did not like to sleep and miss out on anything. We would lay her down and tell her to go to sleep in a quiet, gentle voice. Then she would scream and bang her head on the crib. (Doctor said not to worry about that.) We would go in after 5 min. and repeat the process - physically lying her down and very sweetly, telling her to go to sleep and that you will be in the next room or bedroom or wherever. Then wait 10 min. It is hard, but stick with it! She needs to learn that you have not abandoned her but you will not hold her, feed her, get her a drink, sing to her, or do anything that will encourage her to keep calling for you. Then wait 15 min. and do the same, monotonous, quiet drill, making sure she doesn't sense any anger or frustration. Just a sweet reminder that she needs to go to sleep. Keep adding 5 min. each time. Our daughter only needed a couple nights and she learned. It is hard. Sometimes my husband had to hold me back from going in. Other times I had to hold him back, but it was so worth it. Good luck.

please don't let her cry it out. it's okay to bring her into your bed
Well, I am more of an "information geek" than a "try it out" mom. I think the evidence and studies speak for themselves.
Before I list a very few of them, I want to say that every family must do what works for them and there is no perfect way to raise a child.
I also want to urge every mother to do her own research. Be a critical reader! When reading, be aware of who wrote the information you are reading, what their credentials and motives are, and how the author is viewed by his/her peers. There is great information out there, but there are a lot of really bad books, too. Many written by people with little or no training, education, or experience. Anyone can write a book...
I also believe that a mother who mothers by her gut will usually do what is best. Any information that causes a mother to go against her natural mothering instinct is the wrong information for her. Any regrets that I have come from times when I didn't follow my gut.
Here is some of the research that I find helpful:
The studies on cortisol levels in babies while they are crying alone vs. crying in arms are astounding. The levels of cortisol measured in babies crying alone are high enough to cause damage to brain tissue and permanently alter a child's mental function. Clearly, babies are not meant to be left alone to cry.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
http://home.mweb.co.za/to/torngren/bergman-int.html
The research in the fields of sociology, psychology, and anthropology show us that families around the world as far back as history dates have shared a family bed, breastfed on demand for and average of 4 years (still the current world average), and carried babies or strapped them on during their babyhood.
This body of research also tells us that a child who has his needs met by a single care giver (most optimally the mother) is a more independent, confident child than those who spend time fearing that their needs won't be met or those who are forced to be independent before they are ready.
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter.html
Be sure and check out the sitations on this and any article your read.
Further, this attachment extends to the later parenting, making it easier to parent the child...
Nils Bergman on You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcaMsZrElnE (he has several videos you can watch!)
His book, Hold On To Your Kids is a MUST READ!!!
The Discipline Book by Dr. William Sears
Here is some really compelling research:
Biology gives us a whole body of research on human milk composition which shows us that out of all mammal species, human milk has the lowest amount of fat and protein when compared to other mammal species, here is what that says:
Cache care - These animals must hid their babies and only feed them every 12 hours. They have the highest amount of fat and protien in thier milk. Rabbits, mice
Nest care - These animals have less fat and protien and feed their babies every 4 hours or so. dog, cat
Follow care - These animals have even less fat and protien than cache and nest animals. They feed every 2 hours or so. Zebra, cow, elk.
Carry care - These animals have the lowest amount of fat and protien and feed their infants every 30 to 90 minutes. Primates.
Humans have the lowest amount of fat and protien! What does this say about how our babies should be cared for? How often they should be fed, and what we should expect from them at night?
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct01p178.html
http://www.aph.gov.au/house/committee/haa/breastfeeding/s...
BTW, new research is now linking colic to babies not being fed often enough and being left alone too often.
http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/whatis03.htm
http://home.mweb.co.za/to/torngren/eng-berg.html
Dr. Sears recommends feeding your baby twice as often and half as much when colic seems to be the trouble. He also recommends holding your baby http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051300.asp
It is interesting to see the societal influences we have here compared to the rest of the world. We want our babies to be convenient, yet their very make up makes that impossible.
Again, mothers must do what their gut tells them and use information to supplement that wisdom. Don't choose sides, choose your child!
Happy Mothering!! Enjoy your babies

Hi D.-
It is very difficult for an 8-month-old to understand why the source of warmth, food and security in her life is not there for her. I can only tell you what I did. My son slept with me until he felt that he was too 'big'. Not that I didn't put him in his own bed- I did, but I got up with him. You were a good mother to use the co-sleeper. I nursed my son until he was a year and a half. The first nine months was what you describe- up every hour or so all night. I was able to either make a dinner for social purposes, or eat the dinner, not both :-) I napped with him because I was always exhausted. After nine months, the awakenings gradually decreased to three, then two, then one. I was so happy at a year and a half:-). Please don't let her 'cry it out'. I think when that happens that a basic trust has been violated in her, and you grow hard of heart & have a guilty conscience. It is not good for either of you. She will grow up, I promise! I'll be thinking of you- S.

Looks like you got alot of advice. The couple of things that came to mind is: Get a small fish tank and use as nightlight and background noise. I believe SIDS is due to bumpers on cribs and having things in crib while sleeping so I kept everything out. The other is to sleep in there in a seperate bed and listen for noises. My son would freek evertime the ac/heater would turn on or a light would go by. I would tell him about the noise as it occured to calm him down. Also--letting the baby scream is hard and I did that too once. Hope this helps.

Don't give up! I used the Ferber method 8 years ago on my then 10 month old who wouldn't sleep unless my boob was in his mouth. It only took 2 nights of training before he fell asleep on his own and didn't wake up all night long. It was the best thing I could have ever done. Don't give up! She will get it sooner than you will realize. It's not easy, but soooo worth it!! EVERYONE needs a good night sleep to be happy and healthy. This is not just for you, but for her as well. Hang in there...and don't give up! It doesn't matter how old they are -- we also used Dr. Ferber's advice with our then 3 year old. His book is FANTASTIC and so very informational and educating. READ IT -- "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber -- you will be so glad you did. Good luck!

A.