Help! 8Yr Old Daughter Loses Everything, Including Hearing Aids.

D.,
I am sorry I dont have anything better to offer...but...a routine is all I can think of to keep her in the habit of putting them somewhere safe when she takes them off. I say establish one place where they should always be if not being worn and positive reinforcement. Maybe you can buy her a special jewelery box where she can put them or something???

K.

My granddaughter is 8 and is frequently losing things. It's the age. Unfortunately hearing aids are small and not easily found and are expensive.

Recognizing that she may take them out during the day give her a sturdy, small, attractive container to put them in and tell her to always give the box to a teacher.

You do want to encourage her to always wear them but you also need to be realistic about what she's capable of doing. How long has she had the hearing aids? Are they comfortable? Is she used to them?

My brother as well as one of the men I supervised both had hearing aids and neither wear them consistently. They tell me that their own voice sounds louder and like it's in a tunnel. They've been told that they have to wear them everyday in order to get used to them and the change they make in what they hear. These adult men never did stick with their hearing aides. After a few months my brother put his in a drawer and not used them since.

If kids tease her about the aids, arrange for a lesson in her classroom so that they learn how important the aides are and how their teasing affects your daughter. The teacher may be able to do this herself with your help. Perhaps you could invite a specialist who deals with hearing aides and this age. If the school has a counselor she is a good resource.

If it's possible to change her hairstyle so that it covers them more this might help. Or how about a wide knit headband that goes around her head and under her hair. Perhaps this could be placed so the aids are less obvious.

You could also try getting your daughter together with other kids who wear hearing aids so that she doesn't feel so alone in this situation. She'd have a peer support group.

My granddaughter, who is 8, is in both a Friendship group and a Homework group who were planned and executed by her school counselor. A Friendship group could be a big help. They get to know each other better and build supportive relationships. My granddaughter hums and sings a lot. She told me that she does this to take care of her feelings. She learned this ability in the Friendship Class.

This group got started last year when I told the counselor about such a group in which my daughter participated when she was 8. So it's possible that a suggestion from you would start getting support for your daughter.

I don't think negative energy of any sort would help your daughter. I would reward her when she brings the aids home; perhaps when she wears them home or for whatever behaviour you want to encourage and have a way of knowing about. Simple praise everyday is quite helpful. Along with that, acknowledge that you know how difficult doing this is.

Perhaps you could set up a routine in which she didn't have to wear her hearing aides everyday. Perhaps one day/week she could leave them at home. It could be possible that she'd see how helpful they actually are. Wearing them consistently for 4 days could give her the right to not wear them the day after that. Perhaps include her in deciding how to set this up. Making a child part of the decision making process helps to make them feel less like a victim and more like she's important and does have some say in her life.

Hi D.,
How about a rewards system of some sort? You know your daughter and what might work well for her. I'm not talking expensive sort of "things". Maybe special evenings with Mom or a girlfriend special evening, over nighter or playtime, or some little special book (trip to the library). Possibly getting her in on a choice of a couple things you two come up with? It could be any small thing that would be special to her, as a reward for coming home with her hearing aids. As you know, kids want to fit in and look and be like what they perceive as everyone else. Knowing everyone has some sort of "handicap" can help. Even if we don't see a person's handicap, everyone has at least one. When my now teenage son figured that one out, he was so much more able to feel OK about himself. He had a brain trauma injury; falling from a barber chair at age one; which has left him unable to do simple math and difficulty writing among other things. He is intelligent and has other skills he is learning to emphasize. She's young yet, but if you can help her accept her hearing aids, by maybe getting to know other children with hearing aids, it would help her to loose her self consciousness and eventually have a so what if I have hearing aids sort of attitude. It has been a process over time, but our son has gone from crying aver the problem (at about age eight when first actually diagnosed) as his was not too noticeable at first, to an acceptance, to beginning to find things he's good at and interested in. With your obvious love and caring, your daughter will find her way too. Keeping a sense of humor is also of great importance. Enjoy her, they grow up way too fast! You probably have thought of most of this, but hopefully it has helped some. Wishing you all the best in life.

Sincerely,
Jan

Hi D.,

I also have a daughter who is hearing impaired, but not severely deaf, and we have gone round and round about her hearing aids because quite frankly, I couldn't afford them to begin with and I can't afford it if she loses them so I know what you mean. This is the solution we came up with. She has a nice, leatherbound box that sits on a credenza by the door. When she takes off her hearing aids they go in that box without fail. If they don't, she loses something dear to her (like gymnastics for a week, dessert that week, etc.). I really can't remember the last time that they didn't make it into the box. It is helpful if you establish a routine of WHEN they come off. My daughter has been wearing them since she was 26 months old so she learned very early on that she wasn't allowed to take them off herself. Now that she is six, I do allow her to take them off obviously but the routine is pretty ingrained. I also have an eight year old daughter and my belief is that they are old enough to be responsible for their personal belongings and hearing aids are a definitely that! I am pretty firm about the rules with this because let's face it, there is a lot at stake if those hearing aids get lost or damaged.

Good luck to you, I know this can be a maddening process!

I think routine (like just about everyone else said) would be good to help her put them in the same place every day. If at school, in a container in her backpack or her desk (but then she might leave it at school) or give to her teacher if her teacher is willing to help out.

I also think a reward system is a good idea. Kids love to have rewards, so this could give a reason to have a reward.

As far as the image thing goes, maybe you could arrange to have a discussion in her class to explain about her hearing impairment. Maybe purchase those disposable ear plugs and have all the children wear them for an hour to give them an idea of what a hearing loss can be like. Then they might be more accepting, and she might feel more comfortable. It can give her and other kids an open forum to ask and address questions that will take the mystery out of the difference of wearing hearing aids.

Good luck!

PS- or if she has a good friend, could she ask her friend to help her by asking through out the day if she knows and remembers where her aids are?

Maybe if you find some kind of really cute holder and teach her to put them in the holder when she is not wearing them. or make it a rule that as soon as she removes them she has to place them in your hand. Or, a set place that they must be placed in - a little decorative basket on her dresser or something- and have consequences for not doing it. If she forgets she gets no tv or gets a item she values taken away for the day. At 8 she should be able to read and write- When ( not if) she forgets, have her punishment be to sit down and write 10 or 15 reasons why it is important to keep track of her stuff. A few times of having to write sentences or having something taken she will keep in mind that if she forgets _____ will happen and she does not like_____. You have to stay on top of it- never let her slide. You could even go as far as making her keep a log of where they are- like every hour she has to write on her paper where her hearing aid is at that moment, you check it nightly. If she makes it a week without misplacing them maybe you can give her some kind of treat. Hope something in this helps. LOL Mine are 23, 16, 14, 6, and 3 and I have used this whith them- When they can not find something my usual responce is I do not know it is not my responsibilty to keep up with you ____. But, none of my kiddos stuff is as expensive as hearing aids.

Hello D.:
I do not have a child with hearing aids, but just myself started wearing them. Although I am much older, I am finding it hard to wear them all the time, as I feel like I get overstimulated and a mild headace. I did great at first, but it is taking me much longer to get use to them than I thought. If she is taking them off during the day, you might check into why, is it just image reasons?

If she is already use to them, and it is just image reasons she is taking them out, I too understand that. I try and find styles with my hair that helps cover them. I think kids can be so crule at her age that if she is getting teased that could be part of it as well.

One thing that has helped me is when I take them off I have told myself that I have to always put them in the same container and carry it with me all the time. I too am so afraid of losing them at the $5,000 price tag !!!

I am sure this is all things you have already been thinking but thought it might be nice to hear it from someone else as well.

Good luck, I have trouble at 50 years old I can not imagine at 8, or being the mother who has paided for them !!!!

Just a thought is there any insurance that helps if they are lost?

Blessings,
R.

I am a coach and in my class I had a hearing impared little boy. His hearing aids were somehow attached to his shirt. Granted he was about 4 and did not care about what other kid thought about his looks.

I have an 8 yr old also and she constantly loses everything. It drives me nuts. Good luck!!

Wow! We've never had problems of that magnitude. We've dealt with lost coats and shoes, even socks. When my then 8 year old son lost his 3rd coat in a month, we lectured him on the cost of the item. Goodwill is cheap but, lost coats still add up. Then we rewarded him every time he brought it home and hung it up.
Maybe a sticker system like for potty training and chores would work? Then give her a small reward at the end of the day (Sticker, special treat...) then a neater reward at the end of the week, (A film, trip to the library...) then a big thing at the end of the month, (Omsi, the Zoo....)
I sometimes wish things like that came with a built in "clapper"!
Good luck! Some day she'll be glad you taught her not to lose things of value.