I need help, my 18 month old boy has been testing my patience. He doesn't let me change his diaper, throws tantrums and doesn't take no for an answer.
welcome to terrible two's! LOL early... just keep doing what you do. don't let him get the upper hand. and make sure to take breaks. LOL they can test our patients!
Hang in there!! You're not alone!!
You said it, he's testing you! That's all. He will be forever testing you!! You have to show him that the rules are still the same, over and over and over again! And at 18 months, he's just learning what some of the rules are! It wears you out, I know, but hang in there with consistency and just when you think you can't take a minute more if it, he'll listen! For about two days! Then it starts all over again! My boys are 7 years and 20 months! Such joys and little beasts!!
That is really frustrating. My daughter now just 17 months old would just wiggle and roll over when I changed her. It was a real task. I gave her something to play with, but as soon as I got the diaper off whatever toy I gave her was suddenly in the pee/poop zone. I thought I was going to pull my hair out. Now, I just hand her a diaper when I lay her down and she think she's helping. This has made it easier. I do have to look her right in the eye and say lay down several times still, but it's getting better. Glad to know I'm not the only one :)
Possibilities:
1. He's only 18 months. The word "discipline" at that age is a little creepy.
2. Wouldn't hurt, however, to start some things now. Try not giving in to some things, especially when it's most important. It's not a bad time to start teaching him he won't always get his way.
3. Do you work? My experience was my oldest really fought me when he was in daycare because he really just wanted to be with me. If so, less daycare would be good.
But remember he's only 18 months.
How does he not let you change his diaper? Is he at 18 months actually stronger than you, or does he just not like it? You are the adult. You are the parent. You make the rules, so follow them and most importantly, BE CONSISTANT!!! Nothing makes for a whiny, spoiled, difficult, manipulative child than a parent who is inconsistant. Children respond best to paramaters/boarders/rules/consistancy. Also, if you don't start this now, it's only going to get worse. Soon you'll have a 3 year old, a 6 year old, and too soon, a preteen and teenager who will refuse to do something. Lay down the law NOW!!! He throws tantrums because he wants everything to be his way--probably because you've let it be that way. Who cares. Start NOW. He only doesn't take no for an answer because in the past, no didn't mean no from you. Start no. He might not like it, but it only gets worse and harder the longer you let the child be in charge. You are the parent. YOU are in charge. Follow your instincts. You are not being bad by saying now and following up on it. You can take privaliges away from a 18 month old. They understand A LOT more than you think. Tell them why you are doing something. For example, "If you are helpful and are patient while I change your diaper, I will read to you (or something else he enjoys) before your nap." If he isn't helpful and resists put him down for his nap without doing what you said and tell him "I won't be reading to you now because you weren't helpful like Mommy asked." Next time you'll have to be helpful and not resist Mommy. He might cry, but that's ok. He will learn. You need to be strong! Parenting isn't easy, but you need to be the parent. Because if you're not firm and set boundries now, you're really in for it later!
-M. B
Congratulations, you've reached the truly terrible part of the twos. With my son (now 3.5), much of the battle was because he wanted to be independent. We'd have great days if I let him choose his diaper, help me wipe, choose which article of clothing to put on next ("do you want to put the shorts or the shirt on next?") and redirect him from the bad thing I didn't want him doing to something that I wanted him to play with. I work full time, so believe me, although I'm pretending it was easy, there were nights/days where we'd simply get frustrated with each other because I didn't have the patience/energy to figure out what choices he wanted to be involved in. It is a short phase - 3 mos at most - so hang in there.
