Help! I Have a Biter.

Look him in the eye and say No Biting! Make him take a time out as soon as it happens. Sit him on the couch or a chair for five minutes. You may have to sit with him to keep him there. He should get the idea pretty soon that if he bites he has to stop playing and sit quietly. You have to do it every time or it won't work. Tell people that are watching him to do the same thing.

You may get lots of opinions on this--from spanking, to "bite him back", to whatever.
When my son went through a biting period, I would take his hands, get to his eye level and with complete eye contact, say loudly and firmly "No biting. Biting hurts, We don't bite." And I would walk away from him for awhile. He got the connection and eventually stopped. Most kids bite at O. time or another. Good luck.

As others have said, this is normal behavior. However, there is biting that is not normal behavior, so make sure to eliminate other causes. Sometimes, like you observed with the teething, they bite because it relieves pain. I had a child bite mine about 12 TIMES!!!! All over the face and his back. It was terrible. The biter had a horrible ear infection and needed tubes, so we think it was because of the pain. This child did it unprovoked, he literally crawled over to my little guy and attacked him. If the biting seems to be escalating and not related to anything you can figure out, try to see if there is a medical cause. That incident made me and the other mother feel so terrible. I think it was unusual, but just keep an eye on it. The attack happened very quickly, so I would just keep a very close eye on play while he is around other children.

Keep in mind this is age appropriate -not OKAY behavior, but it is age appropriate. It is a phase and it will end. He is 2 and not 12... as long as you continue to correct the behavior you will eventually see the changes. One thing I would suggest is talking with the other family. That way they know that it is something you are working on and there can be consistency. Plus they may have suggestions that will work in their home. Best wishes - I am sure this is very frustrating.

My two year old is more of a hitter than a biter, but she has bitten a few times when she is really frustrated. Everything I have read says that it is pretty normal for 2 year olds to bite because they are still having trouble communicating. Dr. Sears (and other experts) say that when they are a little older and have better verbal skill the behavior will stop. They recommend telling the child that biting hurts and then giving a time out. I think as long as you are consistent you could use whatever discipline that works for you. With my 2 year old hitter I usually grab both of her hands and hold them and tell her "No hitting. We don't hit." If she does it a second time I will put her in a chair for 2 minutes and then get her out, repeat that we don't hit and make her apologize (usually to her older sisters). She is pretty stubborn and there are some days when I feel like we are marching to the "naughty chair" all day long. I have handled the biting in a similar way. I think you just need to address it immediately and make sure that your child knows that you wont tolerate it and there will be a consequence every time.

When I was a kid my Mom was friends with a woman that had a biter. He bit me several times and my Mom finally told her that he couldn't come over anymore when he bit me in the face and broke the skin. This Mom ended up biting her son back to curb the habit. Dr. Sears says not to do this, my Mom's friend seemed to think it worked. Her son was older though - maybe 4 or 5. I don't think I would bite a 2 year old. Good luck!!

I do agree that you have to let the other mother know that you are aware and are working on it. You are correct, you may lose her due to this. I would just keep telling him how that hurts others and makes them upset. He may get the point if you make a sad face and explain it to him. I do like the time out idea.

My biter is now almost 13 years old and when she was your child's age, i was bitten SO, SO many times. The ONLY thing that worked, I promise, was the good ole technique of "attention starvation" which only means that right after the bite occurs, you take the child, say no, put them down and walk away. Try it!

My son with through this for a little while. I think when they are mad and can not express themselves they do this. I would put him in time out if you catch him doing it at home. tell him no that is not nice you do not bite people. It is a minute for every age they are so for you son time out would be two minutes. See if the family who watches your son may also put him in time out so it can be a thing of consistency. I understand about upsetting the people who watch your child. take it easy and good luck.

Hi A. -

Both of my boys went through this around age 2 as well. I know it is not fun. What worked for me is to immediately remove your child from the situation (and if they are fighting over a toy - take that away). Repeat "No bite....you hurt little Suzie." Your child will eventually realize that they miss out on playtime b/c of biting...and the incidences will start to decrease. Another thing that may happen...is that they will be bitten by another child. Sad to say...but that is when they really get "no bite."

Best of luck...this phase will pass!!!
K.

Hi A.,

Do not use punitive measures with the child.

As always, be loving to your child. Contact your local
child development center. you can go to your nearest pediatric unit in the hospital or call your pediatrician and talk to your nurse..

Good luck. D.