I Have a Biter! - Amherst,SD

He's really too young for time out if you want him to actually learn. This expert advice from Dr. Sears should help you out:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063900.asp#T062400

I feel your pain...I used to wear sunglasses and a wig everytime I picked my son up at daycare b/c I was ashamed to meet the victims's mothers!!!LOL
Just kidding (only about the wig though..). My son gor out of it when he started talking and was able to express his frustration with words...so hang in there..

Check bookstores for a book called Teeth are not for Biting. Our son was a hitter and we used that form of the series. They're aimed at very young kids, with simple words. The story goes along the lines of, "Teeth are not for biting. What are teeth for? Brushing ... Eating ..."

When correcting him, they need to keep is short and simple. "No biting! That's not ok." Then immediate and more lavish attention on the child who was hurt. If you make too much of a deal out of it with your son, he may see it as a form of attention and continue on. I would be sure to convey this to the teacher. A lot of daycares do play up bad behavior unintentionally.

Biting is extremely common. So many kids go through this phase, so don't beat yourself up over it. It just happens. Some people luck out and their kids don't do it, others aren't as lucky.

Parents can have some influence, but can't do much to correct the behavior if you're not there. Young children are immediate in their impulses, and reasoning or punishments hours after the event won't have nearly the impact of immediate action. The daycare staff must be responsible for dealing with this common problem, and they would do well to use the most tried-and-true tool: "shadowing" the child in situations that are most likely to result in a bite, anticipating the bites before they occur, being prepared to swoop in and lift the child away or calm/redirect overexcited behavior, is about the best thing to do.

Yes, it is surprisingly common, and my grandson has his little fling at daycare. Unfortunately, getting bitten does often result in kids who experiment with the same behavior. And unfortunately, as you discovered, it can happen REALLY fast.

With my grandson, his folks did lots of verbal reinforcement at the end of the day about not only NOT BITING SAM!!! but also congratulating him for the days that he didn't bite, for whatever reasons. They worked to give him other alternatives to biting, both words and behavior choices (bearing in mind that choice is a fleeting thing for young toddlers), and we reinforced everything with lots of puppet role playing.

Showing concern and compassion for the injured child is a great thing to do. Kids get in touch with their capacity for compassion by seeing it modeled. But kids don't generally bite to "get attention" or "get their way." They bite in a moment of overexcitement, like a wound-up, nipping puppy, or in a flash of anger or frustration (Sam would take things away from my grandson, the daycare provider reported). Sometimes they are satisfying a curiosity, and a few such kids have sensory integration dysfunction and crave oral stimulation.

Depending on the impulse that prompted the bite in the first place, various punishments MAY help. Or they may simply make the problem worse. Or they may cause a frustration to go underground, only to pop up in a magnified or distorted form later on. One of the more sensible consequences I've read about (but haven't seen in live application), is to press the biter's own arm into her teeth, hard enough to cause discomfort, with the admonition that "Biting hurts, NO biting!"

Good luck. Most kids do get through this stage pretty quickly, but it is a tremendous source of anxiety to parents, whether your child is the bitee or the biter.

HI S.,
Lots of toddlers bite for different reasons. Sometimes it's out of frustration, social contact, defensiveness, stress...Maybe he gets overstimulated and is a child who is easily frustrated. Try to keep a closer eye on things to intervene before frustration levels rise and talk to him in the moment about how to use words to express what he needs. My son was a biter. It happened most often when when he was tired or hungry and/or was having trouble changing from one activity to another. I think that he was overwhelmed and had trouble controlling his emotions.

From what I have read kids bite because they are out of control and that's scary for them. So what you can to is intervene quickly, calmly and firmly. Reassure both the child and the victim and if possible keep both children by your side while you inspect and wash the bitten area with warm soapy water. This way you demonstrating the consequences and seriousness of the behavior. Then make sure the biting cannot be allowed and that you will stop it every time. A child who is out of control and frightened by her own behavior needs to know that adults will help take control until they are able to control themselves.

Get on eye level with your son and tell him firmly, in simple words " Biting hurts." Encourage, but don't force, him to comfort the victim with words, hugs or pats. Demonstrate that gentleness and kindness are expected.

Asses what led to the biting and teach alternative actions. Give your son words he can use i.e. ask to have a toy returned or given such as, " Can I have that next" or Is it my turn now?"

I would not be supportive of giving a child anything distasteful as a result of biting. Using tabasco sauce sounds outright dangerous to me. It's disappointing to me that a childcare provider would think that this is an appropriate method for correcting this behavior. Surely you son is not the first biter that's been in care...

And unfortunately, there may not be a "quick fix." Even if you can determine the trigger for the biting, it can still take a period of time before the child is able to learn and alternative way to deal with what causes him to do it.

I would try being patient and loving, yet firm with your son. He needs to be taught new ways to deal with whatever is causing his biting behavior, and tabasco sauce and a time-out in a corner won't do that for him.

Best of luck~ it's stressful to have a child who bites and for your child to be bitten as well, but it's so very common. He'll move past it.

Remove him from the situation, give extra attention to the person who received the bite and sternly tell your child "NO BITITNG!" In addition, give him something he can bite, some kind of teething ring, frozen wash cloth, etc. Tobasco sauce??!! Very inappropriate, and for a daycare provider to do that, in my opinion is horrendous and should be told that is unacceptable in any situation. I hope licensing doesn't get wind of that!

I know this isn't funny but, last night, the show Modern Family, on ABC had a biting story with Lily, a toddler. It was hilarious! You can watch the episode on ABC.com.

I had the same issue with my daughter and my ped. said to squirt straight lemon juice in her mouth. I did and she liked it so I used lime juice, it did the trick. It took about three times but she stopped biting. If he likes the lemon and lime juice you can try vinegar. I have put white vinegar in my daughter's mouth and it seems to work better. Whatever you choose be sure you do it everytime! Consistency is very important!!!

Tobasco sauce? That sounds kind of barbaric to me, and if my daycare provider did that without first consulting me, well, there would be problems.

Is he biting because he needs pressure on his gums from teething? Are his molars coming in? Perhaps give him appropriate things to provide him with the sensation he needs, and continue telling him "NO biting people. Biting hurts." Follow up with a consequence if he bites, as you have been.

At 18 months I think he doesn't understand what a time out is. To him it's you not loving him at the moment. I could be wrong, but maybe try a different way of disciplining him.

we had/have a biter- we ended up using a behavioral chart- for every day she did not bite she got a sticker and we made a BIG deal out of it- if she had a biting day- we would simply reminder her that she would not get a sticker because she bit her friends- then we let it go- you do not want to accidentally reinforce the behavior by giving too much attention to the negative- if we got a week of no biting we made an even bigger deal out of it and she got a treat. some may say that 18 mos is too young for a chart- but we where amazed at how well it worked ( my daughter was just a little older) we also reminder her every morning that if there was no biting she would get her sticker. It took about a month to go from daily biting ( and my having to pick her up from daycare for biting more then 3 times a day) to no biting at all...

Also through it all keep remembering that this is a normal stage that many kids go through and- it too shall pass.

Updated

we had/have a biter- we ended up using a behavioral chart- for every day she did not bite she got a sticker and we made a BIG deal out of it- if she had a biting day- we would simply reminder her that she would not get a sticker because she bit her friends- then we let it go- you do not want to accidentally reinforce the behavior by giving too much attention to the negative- if we got a week of no biting we made an even bigger deal out of it and she got a treat. some may say that 18 mos is too young for a chart- but we where amazed at how well it worked ( my daughter was just a little older) we also reminder her every morning that if there was no biting she would get her sticker. It took about a month to go from daily biting ( and my having to pick her up from daycare for biting more then 3 times a day) to no biting at all...

Also through it all keep remembering that this is a normal stage that many kids go through and- it too shall pass.

I think TimeOut is completely appropriate. I would also tell him, NO BITE THAT HURTS. There really isnt anything you can do to fix it completely, he will grow out of it.