Help!!!! I Have a High Maintence 7 Year Old

Updated on September 23, 2006
L.T. asks from Des Moines, IA
5 answers

Not sure if other moms have this issue.
It all started a few years ago when my mother in-law was alive,she would have to go and get her nails cut.. and while she was there she would get a manicure, one time my daughter went with her, and asked if she could get her nails painted, at the time I had no issue, it was kind of a form of bonding with them.. well here we are a few years later and she likes to do the makeup (pretend type of course. can spend hours in front of a mirror. Now I am all for being your own person and creating a look, But at 7 ??? B I am so far from spending all the time on my hair and makeup, When my DH is home and we are going out that is different.
Are kids born with that gene. If they do not learn it at home and seems to be the only one in her circle of friends doing this, where do they learn it? SHe would rather get Makeup then candy. and at first I would by some of the little Bon Bon nail polish, and lip gloss for her easter basket. not only that she loves to shop.. Something I do not like to do. If she goes home to her Dads, My ex she will come home with purses.. some given to her, some she has saved her allowance for, she understands the value of a dollar she wants something she has to pay for it..for example her nails painted. When I started telling her that I figured she would loose interest and for get about it.. NOPE she saved her money and paid for her nails to get painted, I could not go back on my word. I mean I buy her clothing and other items.. and I have told her that if she wants one more purse she has to get rid of 5 is this in bad taste? do I continue to let her try to find her look, Am I a bad mother for letting her do this ? Sorry so long ....

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N.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

If you try to stop her now she will just want to do it even more. I think you hit the nail on the head with your title. She is high maitnance, its not genetic just her personality. My daughter is 5 and has expressed similar actions. I do not let her go out of the house with out washing her face when she has played with her make up. And I do think you are doing the right thing with limiting her purses. She can't use them all at the same time. There must be some other type of activity she might be interested in besides herself try to refocus her energy. hope my thoughts helped.
N.

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N.B.

answers from Evansville on

My daughter just turned 5 and she spends her allowance on play makeup also. She loves getting her nails painted, if only she would quit biting them. I'm guessing at about 3 close to 4 is when she started wanting her nails painted. But they do get it from every place and tv. She's got a few purses, but she's more into shoes than purses right now. lol
Hope your husband makes it back soon. And welcome to the midwest. If you ever want to chat just let me know. I'm a single mom of twins and some times it's nice to have an adult to talk to. lol

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M.L.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Hi L.!

My daughter is 5 and loves to put on make-up, nail polish and jewelry. She absolutely adores this one dress and loves to dance around the house and feel pretty. Her grandmothers and I have always painted her nails. Infact a few weeks ago I was shocked when we were picking out some new nail polish and she told me she wanted black. I told her no, but then a week later when we were again at the store, I told her that I was wrong about saying no. If I'm going to let her wear nail polish and express herself, I'm not going to tell her what colors she can wear. I feel that giving her that kind of independence will allow her to express herself thereby halting her need to hide things from me or act out (as much). I also realize that there will be more important things to put my foot down on later, such as too much makeup or clothing that's too revealing. Reassure your daughter that she's beautiful inside and out and let her continue experimenting with makeup and hair. I do agree with the purses though. I am going through the same thing with my daughter. She is such a pack rat!

Hope hubby comes home safe and sound soon!

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J.P.

answers from Wheeling on

DOES SHE JUST STARE SO ADMIRABLE AT HERSELF IN THE MIRROR AS WELL??? IF SO, SOUNDS LIKE MY 8 YEAR OLD. WITH MY DAUGHTER, SHE WANTS TO BE THIS PERFECT LITTLE GIRL....SO I MAKE SURE SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT ITS THE BEAUTY FROM WITHIN THAT MAKES PEOPLE SO BEAUTIFUL...I TELL HER ITS NOT THE MAKEUP OR THE PAINTED NAILS OR THE CUTE LITTLE PURSES THAT SHE JUST HAS TO HAVE. SHE LOVES TO HAVE ALL OF THOSE THINGS BUT SHE GETS THAT ITS BETTER TO BE TRUE TO WHO SHE REALLY IS OR WILL BE LATER IN LIFE. AND THAT SHE SHOULD GO FOR FEELING GOOD ABOUT HERSELF RATHER THAN SIMPLY LOOKING GOOD...AS FAR AS WHERE KIDS PICK THIS STUFF UP FROM.....EVERYWHERE.....HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THE SHOWS ON NICK JR? THE ONES WITH THE GIRLS HAVING TO HAVE MONEY AND LOOK NICE ALL OF THE TIME.....OTHERS KIDS LEARN IT FROM THEIR PARENTS AND THEY PASS IT ON...SADLY ITS THE SOCIETY THAT WE LIVE IN. MAYBE WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER WANTS TO GO HAVE HER NAILS PAINTED...FOR A BONDING CHANCE FOR YOU GUYS MAYBE YOU COULD DO EACH OTHERS NAILS....ITS WHAT WE DO AND WE BOTH LOVE IT( JUST MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SOME REMOVER ON HAND CUS YOU WILL NEED IT LOL) I DONT REALLY THINK ITS SO BAD WHEN LITTLE GIRLS ACT THIS WAY AS LONG AS ITS UNDERSTOOD THAT THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN APPEARANCE. HOPEFULLY YOU DO NOT HAVE VERY LONG UNTIL YOUR HUSBAND COMES HOME FROM OVERSEAS. WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS DEPLOYED, IT WAS FOR ABOUT 18 MONTHS AND I HAVE TO SAY ITS NOT EASY. BUT THE SECOND I SAW MY HUSBAND AND KNEW HE WAS HOME FOR GOOD, EVERY HARD TIME WITHOUT HIM, EVERY MOMENT I TOOK CARE OF THE KIDS AND THE HOUSE AND EVERYTHING ALONE WERE SO FAR AWAY. THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERED WAS THAT HE WAS HOME AND SAFE. I WISH YOU THE BEST WITH YOUR FAMILY. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IN TOUCH ON HERE THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

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M.O.

answers from Iowa City on

Hi L.,
I also have a high maintence 7 year old. It started when she was about 3. My Mother was the culprit! I didn't encourage, or discourage it. She just can't go out in public with make-up on. It does bother me a bit but I think expression is a good thing. I was way into clothes as a child. Changing my outfits five times a day. Cutting up and altering clothes and now I make cloths and am well known for the crazy things I put togeather. My daughter has expressed intrest in being a make-up artist in hollywood. It's an art form. It's just diffrent from the typical kind of art. If youre concerned about the make-up then let her take the make-up to paper. Have her draw a girl on paper using the make-up. Something like that. My daughter loves to do that. So do not fear, you are not alone!
I hope this helps.
M.

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