Help Me Break This Sleep Habit!

Updated on December 03, 2008
G.M. asks from Watertown, MA
11 answers

I have a little girl (12.5 mos) who has religiously been an early waker. We go through phases of this on and off and have been for months.
Lately I have just been bringing her into bed with us, and now we have an ugly habit on our hands.
I have always thought of our bed as a special, private and sacred place for me and my hubby. I want my DD to sleep the entire night through in her own crib.
Though it is so sweet to have her with us, and she is only this little once, I am not getting any sleep with her in our bed, and it is taking its toll.
DH and I are trying for #2, so this is making it worse!

I have tried everything to get her to stop waking early - later bedtime, early bedtime, longer naps, shorter naps, room darkening shades, white noise, letting her cry, you name it. She is not waking due to hunger, I think it is more out of habit.

At this point I would really love some tips on how to get her to go back to sleep on her own. Now that I've created this bad habit, I need some advice on how to break it!

Thanks!

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K.T.

answers from Boston on

Hi G.

It does sound like you have covered all bases on trying to get her back to sleep. I think if you are trying to keep her out of your bed then all you need to do is STOP!! Dont bring her into your bed at all. It may mean a week or so or terrible nights sleep for everyone. But if she wakes and she is screaming out, just go in, and tell her she needs to get back to sleep and cover her w/ her blanket and leave the room. You may have to repeat this several times. I do know easier said than done, cause I am going through something similiar with my 2yr old. But just break the habit NOW of bringing her to your bed. You (and your husband) are in charge, dont let her control your bed. I hope she will sleep better for you real soon.........
Best of Luck
K.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

My little guy had this habbit and to break it I laid on his floor right next to the crib when he would wake until he fell back to sleep. At first it took awhile but now he goes right back to sleep if he wakes up. He is an early riser 5am but sometimes when he wakes up at 5 if I lay on the couch with him we get to sleep in till 7. He wakes do to my terrible neighbors that make way too much noise so there is not much that I can do to prevent the waking but hopefully when your daughter realizes you are there and comfort her that she doesn't need to go in your bed. I'm not a huge fan of the cry it out method it never worked for either of my boys they would cry cry cry and cry to the point where they couldn't fall back asleep even if they wanted to and I found just giving love and comfort makes it easier and they fall back to sleep quicker with the reassurance that mommy and daddy are still there and aren't going anywhere. I assume your daughter is still in a crib keep a pillow and extra blanket under it for yourself if you decide to give this a try. Good luck.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

What time does she go to bed?

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R.S.

answers from New London on

Hi, my son does the same thing alot but what I found worked was going in when he wakes @ 5am and telling him it is still sleepy time, not time to get up, go back to sleep. If he is standing I lay him down and give him his lovey. It actually works after awhile...I am ok with crying it out but I realized he just didn't understand why noone was coming. Good luck!!

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

It is too bad you cannot sleep with her in your bed for hour or two in the morning..they are SOOO cuddly!!!!
My husband and I took all of our seven to bed with us in the morning..none are "marked" by the experience.
You think its hard to find private time with one? You should try seven...LOL

And you are right, time is fleeting.
One day you will hold her child and wonder how she could be possibly old enough to have a child of her own.

I am almost certain these days, you could find a book to tell you what to do. BUT before you rely on a book, ponder the results of the FIRST book devoted soley to childcare, by Spock. Disastrous to say the least.

How about putting a few toys at the foot of her crib?
Her favorites...maybe half a bottle of juice?
She is probably bored after she wakes.

As an afterthought, for thousands of years babies slept WITH their parents thru the night until they were old enough to stay in a pallet . Then they slept with brothers and sisters for the mutual warmth, not to mention lack of space in most homes.

I oftimes think todays mothers worry too much about somethings and try to push infants and babies into a childhood they are simply not ready for. One phase has to play through well before they can successfully progress to the next. RELAX

Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

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S.B.

answers from Springfield on

Hi G.
Im gonna say this that you are right that it was bad habbit to start your child sleeping in bed with you and your husband because its going to be a tough one to break if you dont start breaking it now. I am a firm beleiver that a child should never sleep in the same bed with you ever,I have never done that with my son he has been pretty good about sleeping in his own bed, the routine that you have is great keep doing that and let your daugher know that you are in control and that she needs to be in her own bed, having your space back and her in her own space will lead you all to some really great sleep. Now I understand you also have an issue with your daughter waking up so early, let me tell you something the routine you have with her at night is great, but I gonna tell you something I have a 1 year old who never stays up passed 7:30 pm unless he has a late afternoon nap , and most days he gets up @ 5 am or earlie if im lucky he will sleep passed 5 am but thats rare in my house. When he started doing this I was upset and fusturated all at the same time cause I was soo tired and didnt want to get up but then I realized its not about me its about my son who is ready to get up because hes not tired anymore , hes hungry and wants to play,so I started getting on his morning schedule , before I even started doing that I would just let him lay in bed for a few minutes to see if he was still tired or just thirsty soo I gave him something to drink and he would go back to sleep and if he wasnt I got up and did my morning shedule with im its easier to get up with them when they wake up early instead of having a battle with them cause sooner or later she will realize shes tired and wants to go back to bed, so let her just get tired then wherever she dozes off in the house let her sleep there for a few minutes then pick her up and put her back in her bed then go take a nap its your best bet with your early morning waker. I have done this for a year now and realize that its not soo bad anymore and now i am a morning person and thats a plus .Plus when hes up that early I can go get stuff done and its great that way I dont have to wait all day....
Good Luck :)
P.S as time goes on things will be less complicated and alot less stressfull when your break her bedtime habbits
and it will be a happier family just keep going with what you have been doing so far....

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L.W.

answers from Boston on

I have been lucky that my son is a great sleeper. I would highly recommend getting one of the crib "fish tanks". It plays music and has the fish swim and glow etc. It is easy for them to turn on themselfs. My son usually wakes up around 6 am or so and immediatly turns on his fish tank. He "talks" to the fish and plays with his stuffed animals until I go and get him. He even woke up at 3 am the other night and turned it on because he couldn't sleep. He didn't cry or fuss, at first I thought he might have turned it on in his sleep but when I peeked in he was just sitting quietly and watching it. He listed to two songs (30 min total) and went back to sleep. A friend had recommended it to me and I swear by it. When I put him in his crib for nap/bed time he lays down and smacks the button to turn it on.
Good luck.

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E.C.

answers from Boston on

G.-

I am going to say that I agree with most of the moms. It is a tough habit to break. But honestly, you need to rest! So my best advise is to go cold turkey with her. Have her sleep in her bed/crib. Don't beat yourself up for "creating a bad habit." It happenes. Sometimes we mom's think we are doing the right thing, them we realise we made a mistake. WE ARE NOT PERFECT. So don't beat yourself up. In the meantime. Put her to bed tell her you love her and let her cry it out. It REALLY sucks, but know that I have been there and it WILL GET BETTER. I would suggest you get the book that the other mom advised. We used it too and it helped us. Good luck and I REALLY hope you are able to get some rest.
E.

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C.K.

answers from Boston on

Bad idea as you know bringing her in your bed! Nasty habit to break. I suggest the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth, MD Helped me tremendously with my now 22 month old who was a terrible sleeper from day one. I used the book when he was 5 1/2 months old & he now sleeps awesome (most nights) in his crib!

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S.O.

answers from Providence on

I'm really sorry to say this, but some kids are just early wakers. You have a few choices, you can leave her in her crib with a few toys (placed there after she falls asleep) and maybe a bottle too, or you can enjoy your early ams with her.
My daughters always woke up very early and it didn't matter what time I put them to bed, in fact at one point in order to get enough sleep, my 3 year old non-napper, had to go to bed at 6pm. It didn't matter if I kept her up til midnight, she was going to wake up at 5:30am. Try to keep your sacred time with your hubby at bedtime (I know it's hard, many of us prefer mornings....), and try to enjoy the fact your baby is still a baby and wants to cuddle in the mornings.
They now, finally, at 6 and 9 are just starting to want to sleep in..... sorry!

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T.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi G.,
I don't have new advice beyond the other moms - just do it! and prepare yourself for a few tears. I did the same exact thing and it didn't take too long to break the habit. We just got up and went downstairs at 5 for about a week and then he began to sleep longer on his own. It was a tough week, but now a few months later there's no issue ever, and we just had our second baby so I'm really glad we're not battling morning issues. BTW, I still miss those mornings!

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