HELP ME! My 22 Month Old Is Driving Me Bananas!

Ha! Welcome to the World of raising a toddler. The good news is that eventually they grow out of it. You just have to be consistent with your punishment. My son doesn't make himself vomit but he throws things at me when he is having one of his tantrums. He does however like to gag himself with his fingers and paci, but not to the point where he throws up.
Right now I'm reading the Happiest Toddler on The Block. It seems very repetitive and I don't think I've learned anything from it yet other than talking "caveman". I tried it and my son looked at me like I was nuts. I wish there was some kind of Supernanny for hire in our area. It would be nice to have someone come for a weekend to discipline and train!
My advice about the vomit is next time, do not clean her up. I know this sounds awful but if you leave her in her vomit, she may be disgusted to the point where she won't do it anymore. As you said, she enjoys the attention she recieves from doing it, so you are going to have to use reverse psychology. Since you know the vomit may be coming, you may have to make her time out place somewhere that is not carpeted. Or put towels underneath her. Plan ahead!
And try not to go bonkers. Easier said than done I know. When they are good, they are SO good and you just love them so much...but when they are bad, they are SO bad! You may look into getting some help from a VERY PATIENT nanny or sitter for a few hours a day just so that you have a few hrs to decompress and recharge. Or try mothers day out or partime daycare. It well help her to develop her social skills and give mommy some quiet time so that you don't go bananas. Happy Moms have happy babies.

Hi,

I agree that perhaps a food journal would be beneficial to see if the behavior changes based on what she's eating. So many foods and additives out there that have shown to cause certain behavior issues.

Perhaps her timeouts can take place in the tub? Then she can clean it up herself.

Good luck!

Hello N.,

have you ruled out food allergies? I was shocked when I saw on TV (either Oprah or Dr. Phil a while back) the one about the boy that was allergic to chocolate. That poor child acted like he was possessed and the minute they gave him the antidote he became an angel. My point is, look under every rock until you find your answer. start keeping a diary of what happens when and what she has eaten. some things my not show up until 24-36 hours after ingestion. Also by keeping notes you can tell exactly what happens and when. It might sound like a clinical approach but then it won't be perceived as "mom is too stressed out and needs some prozac" ...well, you know what I mean. Frankly if people have not been there they find it hard to believe. Even check her vitamins. I switched my son's vitamins (he was about 22 months old) and he became a little terror. hitting, biting, drawing on walls, etc. and was walking around with such a serious/mad look on his face. after I stopped those vitamins and went back to his regular ones, he was fine. However, his body does not tolerate high fructose corn syrup. it's like he goes into withdrawal. long story short, he can't have it but my daughter can. we still avoid it anyways. As of this moment you've been granted the "Mommy Medical/Nutritional Detective" Badge =) Good luck! ~C.~

Her behavior sounds a bit extreme. Have you spoken to your ped to rule out any underlying health issues? I would do that before anything else.

Other than that, yes you do need to be consistent. She may be a bit too young for time outs, but again, she may not. It's a tough age. My son responded better when we put his favorite toy in time out. The technique already mentioned below may work for you too. Every kid has their own version of time out it seems. Do what works for you.

You're wise to resist spanking or using it as only a last resort. Research has shown that it is not an effective long term form of discipline (otherwise, why would you have to keep doing it?). Also, it teaches the child that hitting is ok.

Check out the dvd (sounds like you may not have time for the book which is also good) -- the Happiest Toddler on the Block. It is really helpful in explaining what's going on and you may benefit from using the techniques. You've tried everything else, right? Why not try this? I think it will give you somethings that will help you NOW. Long term, I've heard really good things about the books Raising the Spirited Child. Also, google the term "positive parenting" and see what you can find.

Also, focus on when she is acting nicely and praise, praise, praise and reward her for when she IS behaving nicely. So often we think of discipline as only the responding to the negative stuff, but there's also the positive. You need to reinforce positive behaviors. Long term, that will be effective.

It can be rough during the twos and threes. They're becoming autonomous which is really healthy and good for them in the long run, but just a pain for us parents. The traits that drive us nuts in toddlers are usually the same traits that we admire in adults or serve adults well. Keep in mind too, every child is different and responds differently to techniques. It sounds like she's not responding to spanking or traditional time outs yet. That's ok, there are other things you can do. You just have to find their currency and work with that.

Good luck!

Whatever you decide to do, you have to be consistent. Put her in time out and set a timer that she can see but can't manipulate. If she gets out of time out, don't say a word to her. Just pick her up and put her right back. Do that over and over and over again. But whatever you do, DON'T give her the attention she is seeking. And, if she purposefully makes a mess just to get attention, then make her clean it up. She'll stop vomiting if you make her clean it and don't let her out of time out before she cleans it up.

You might also try this...instead of putting her in timeout by herself, sit down indian style on the floor and hold her in your lap (facing away from you). If she tries to put her finger or something else in her throat to throw up, hold her arms down by embracing her in a hug-like pose. Remember - nothing too strong that it will hurt her (or you), but enough force that she knows you mean business. If you have to, count out loud to 100 or sing the ABCs (or some other song she may know) very slowly and don't let her out of time out until you are done. If she manages to throw up anyway, just sit there (even if you're sitting in the vomit). She has to learn that there are consequences for misbehaving and she must clean up her own messes.