HELP ME PLEASE! I Need Advice!

Hi A.!
If there is any way you can pull staying at home, you will never regret it, for many reasons probably already mentioned. When my daughter was born, I became a Pampered Chef consultant, and after three kids I'm still doing it! There are many options you can consider. Leaving a job is a VERY hard decision to make-good luck!!

A., I had to stay at home for the same reason, child care would have cost more than it's worth. I have two young ones, 1 and 2 and I also wanted to help my husband out financially, let alone have some of MY OWN money that I can claim as having made, rather than solely relying on my man. What I did was start watching other children in my home for about 50 a week. That helped out tremendously. Well, now I have told the moms they need to find some one else to sit for them because I found out a couple weeks ago I'm pregnant again and I just can't handle it.

Now we are going to have less money when we need it most. One mom found a sitter already, but if you would like to sit the three girls I watch, they are looking for a sitter! That would be extra income for you and it would help me out! I can barely get out of bed in the morning this week... I'm so nauseous. If only I could just skip the pregnancy part and just have the baby!

When my son was young, I was in the same boat with the daycare expenses. I ended up getting a job part-time at night from 7pm-11pm. It helps out! Now I waitress and bartend. You can make really good money waitressing only 2-3 nights a week if you find the right place!

I agree with some of the other posters A. -

You DO have some options so don't get too upset and discouraged! Here are my suggestions -

***You could work for a legit work from home company and there are more than you think out there...liveops.com, etc. Do a search for telecommute or inbound calls at home on google and read through what pops up. A lot of them even pay for you to do training. Don't fall for the envelope ones, the ones where you pay for your training etc. Also, LabOne (Quest Diagnostics) is a local co based in Lees Summit. If you do a search for them they also have several work from home positions and they are not sales so that's nice.

***You could find something to do a couple of evenings a week. When I was growing up my mom worked for the hospital a few nights a week on the 3-11 shift. She made very good money. Retail places like Kohl's also has evening shifts like that too and so do a lot of the grocery stores, Walmart, etc. I know this isn't ideal but if you got in a pinch you could make it work. Or like some have suggested you could find a product to peddle in the evenings like pampered chef, jewelry, beijo bags, etc. It would get you out of the house and could be a lot of fun. Though it might not be as steady of income as you might want.

***You could watch a baby or toddler at your home or theirs. OR watch kids before and after school-you get a couple with that and you could make fairly good money and not be tied down ALL day long. I was a nanny for years and always took positions where I took my kids with me. I made very good money and didn't have to be away from my kids. Another great situation would be babysit for teachers. Then you get summers off! :) You could call your local school and ask to put a small flyer up in the lounge.

***Find a church or small daycare to work for. Like most have said, it isn't going to be a lot of money but you would get to take your lil boy and still bring some money in.

***Lastly, you mentioned you live in an apartment complex. Is there something there you could do - such as be a part time leasing consultant? Or clean or paint apartments when someone moves out? You could probably set your own hours to a certain extent or I would think you could either take baby (well not for the painting part) but cleaning and vacuuming you probably could if you crack the windows.

Just keep your chin up. You will figure something out that will work for your family! Us mom's are resourceful...it's in our veins! Sounds like you are already doing a great job with everything! Hope you find some peace! :)

Ok first let me applaud you for even having a desire to want to contribute to the household financially. On this site there are alot of women complaining of their financial situation and never fanthom the fact that if they got a job things would be easier. I know being a stay at home mom would be great( I wish I could) but sometimes that is just not possible. So that aside, have you tried to get help from the state? I know you make quite a bit but they would take into consideration that you are going to school and income into consideration. It is worth a try. I would however not mention the father if possible. Let me know if this works or not. They did turn me down but I was not a student and I hear that helps alot. Also you work for the county? I thought they had daycare for their employees? Where do you live? Please let me know I would be willing to help you shop around if these ideas don't work :)

This is an awesome opportunity! If you're interested in nursing school and going to work will only pay for child care... quit, stay home with your baby and you should look into Penn Valley's nursing program. Checking out any nursing program is a good idea, but I know Penn Valley has some options to help with child care while you're in class. Also, being unemployed can actually be a financial benefit for a student. There are programs through the unemployment office that will pay for school entirely if you are unemployed (i think it's only certification programs like LPN not RN); plus you might find that you qualify for Pel Grant without your extra income. When I was in nursing school I was pregnant and lived off of my financial aid for school and welfare. It was hard but it was totally worth it. I know if you qualify for maximum benefit on Pel Grant you can get over $4,000 a year (which at Penn Valley, more than covers their program) and the extra money goes in your pocket; not to mention you can take student loans (which means debt, but its the best kind of debt you can have and you don't pay until your done with school). Okay, so I have tons of advice! I have lived most of my life pretty poor and I am young too but I have made a major upward climb on the social/financial ladder. I'm not sure what area you're in but I am 25 with my first daughter (22mos); I have faced lot's of challenges most of which I overcame on my own. I have lots of good life advice and I am really looking for a mommy friend around my age. If I can help you with this school challenge or if you just want to talk at all just message me and I'll give you my number. This really is a great opportunity and if you look at it that way you will find more open doors than closed ones! :) Good luck! -Jess

Hi A.,

I have a group to post and search for honest opportunities, be cautious though, whatever you choose check the company real well and their rep with the BBB.

Post message: ____@____.com
Subscribe: ____@____.com
Unsubscribe: ____@____.com
List owner: ____@____.com

Also this one, but it is new:
http://www.lilaguide.com/groups/workfromhomehonest

I believe that each person is different and one busienss can work for one person but not for an other one, so feel free to browse what's available and ask questions and hope you find something that can work for you.

You are doing great by helping your child already!
Mariana Abadie
www.MaiaCreations.ecrater.com
www.MyKidsFirst.com

I'm a stay at home mom and while not financially, I am a great help in contributing to the upbringing of my children. My son is still very young but my dauther is kind, compassionate, helpful, and smart. I reinforce these values every day by living the kind of life that would help with these qualities.

You will contribute. If you're staying at home to help with the kids, you're educating them and that is a job. My daughter is almost 3 and she knows her alphabet, can recognize all her letters, can count to 20 and knows there are numbers beyond 20. She gets that things at the store cost money because as we grocery shop she'll say that is two dollars mom.....because there was a 2 near the item somewhere. She is very good at saying 'please' and 'thank you' and even says 'God bless you' when we are out and someone sneezes.

For some ideas on making a little money...be it a very small amount.....Contact Peters Marketing and Delve Marketing and C & C Marketing....In the past year I have made around $300 and received free diapers, baby lotion, cheese, baby bath, chewed bubble gum, ate baked beans...etc....What you do is try the product, fill out a form for the product that they give you, and then they give you money when it's complete.

Just remember that there is more to life than money and things.

I would love to chat with you. Some questions that I have are:
1. Is your fiance at peace with you staying at home?
2. Is he wanting/needing you to help provide for the family?
3. Can you cut expenses just by staying at home, thus helping out that way (gas, cooking from scratch, etc.)
4. Can you cut expenses just by living more simply?
So many questions but things you really need to think through. There are so many blessings in staying at home with your child but often that means sacrificing the more care-free living that society calls fun. It is a tremendous reward that will only be fully understood with time as YOU raise your child, not someone else. There is no-one who can replace you in that child's life.
As far as making money from home, there is an endless market for that. I have found a company that has tremendous rewards, great products that everyone uses at a great price, and a it's very economical to get involved (and you don't have to stock pile inventory). My "team" is a great encourager and motivates me to do good. If you are interested then email at ____@____.com
Blessings on you as you take a step into the unknown. I have 5 children and have never regretted staying at home with them. They grow up too fast and will be gone before I know it.
P.

A.-
I know EXACTLY what you're going through!! When my son was born, we figured up that it would actually cost more for me to work than to stay home with the baby. I also felt the need to "contribute" too. When my son was 13 weeks old, I began keeping a 6 week old to try to make some money. That did not work for me at all! It was just too much. I would sit and cry at night because I missed MY baby even though we'd both been home all day. After about 3 months of that, I quit doing it, and I haven't regretted it a bit. A few months later, I got my real estate salesperson license and have since gone on to get a brokers' license and now I own my company and work from my house. I've made enough money from doing that a few hours a week (if that) to purchase acreage for my husband and I to build a house on. I'm also a consultant for the Pampered Chef and am making my own car payments with my earnings from that. Point is: I'm at home with my kids all day and family most evenings, and just do what I can when I can and it really works well for us! There are a lot of options that would allow you to be home with your new baby. I have thought a lot about all of this in the past, contact me if you'd like more. I've been blessed to be able to do it, and am very thankful for it. Good luck!!!

I stay at home with my children mainly because I can't find babysitting for the hours I would need to work for my prior job. I now do a Direct selling company and get to pick my own hours and still get to stay home with them and take care of them as well as earn money to help out with our bills. I sell Wildtree all natural food products that is fairly new to our area so the oppourtunity is huge to get into right now. If this is something you want to hear more about just email or go to my website www.stacyflynn.mywildtree.com. Good Luck

Hello,I was 19 when I met my husband we became preganant after 3 yrs of being together anyway I'm a sahm have been since I was pregant with baby #1 we didn't worry about financial need's or set back's you see he grew up to save money.And I had to also I beacame a bargain shopper I get alot more for less money.Now on baby #2 still at home and still doing fine.As you mentioned that childcare will eat up your paycheck I suggest it's not worth it to go to work then having to pay someone to watch baby what are you left with?I know you may feel it is a burden to have your fiance work ft but if you become a sahm you will be contributuing too it's not easy being a sahm you have to cook several meals a week, clean, laundry let alone take care of baby and his need's.You both choose to have a baby togehter yes thing's was great free childcare for a while but as a mother I refuse to work outside the home and have someone else raise my babies that is my Job yes it is. Not being harsh I know people have to work for a living to make end's meat but when it all goes to someone else for child care is it worth it?

You might qualified for subsidized daycare. Since you are not married, you would only have to use your income to apply. On those same lines, you might also qualify for food stamps. You need to call or go to the nearest Division of Family Services Office and fill out an application. There really is help for struggling families and if you are like me, the help will only be temporary. I know people are judgmental about using government assistance, but remember you pay taxes and these services are intended for those who don't want a free ride, but need some assistance working their way up. Hope this helps.

You have lots of good responses, but I have a comment. I hope you realize you ARE contributing by staying home and taking care of your baby. In fact, that is an enormous contribution - just because it's wrapped in love and joy doesn't mean it isn't a job! It's the most important job in the world and your whole family benefits from it. Why outsource the care of your baby if you can do that job yourself, better than anyone else? And these are the most important years for baby to be spending with mommy. I say, if you can manage it financially with your fiance's income, stay home and raise your son! I sure wish I had that option when my kids were little. A wise friend once told me when I was afraid to take 12-weeks maternity leave because half of it was unpaid, "You an always make up the money but you can never make up the time."

I totally understand, I have a 8 year old girl and a 3 year old boy and I do not work full-time. Full-time daycare or babysitter cost for my son and part-time daycare or babysitter cost for my daughter (school hours are so much less than full-time!) would cost us more than what I can make working full-time. My husbands work is somewhat lucrative as he is an independent contractor/painter so we can survive if I work part-time. Thus I work part-time evenings & weekends when he is not working.
Unfortunately most part-time employees are not offered affordable insurance or retirement so you would be losing those.
Also since my goal is to have my own lucrative business, I am an independent distributor for The Gourmet Cupboard (www.momof2market.biz), and a new crew member for Noahs Ark Animal Workshops (www.noahsarkworkshop.com/cathyrappold3885). With those two businesses, I am looking forward to quitting my part-time customer service job and having more time with my amazing kids.
Although you don't sound like a stressed-out mother of an infant, in my opinion the first 6 months are usually the hardest. And although my kids, especially my devil-boy, drive me bonkers, I love them more than anything and am so thankful to have them!

I would serioussly look into home based businesses. I have tried them all. Jewlery, partylite, slumber parties, mary Kay, beauti control etc etc etc. I FINALLY found the one that works for ME. www.easylimu.com It is a nutritional drink. Has amazing benefits, and you do not have to keep stock to sell. Everyone in the company will help you work your business and it is already growing faster than microsoft, AOL and even Dell!It was been on ALL the major news channels. Check it our for yourself!

Hi A., you sound like a very energetic person who doesn't mind working. For that reason, I'd suggest really thinking about going from a work environment with lots of people and something you may enjoy to none of that. I have a home business, I rarely see people, and its a huge change to stay at home full time and try to juggle children, work, and social. Also, going from one career to another means you need to know you will enjoy that other career. Knowing that you want to become a nurse to me says that should be your next career.

Financial advisors or your personnel office might be able to help you adjust your retirement contributions to help get you through the rough spots. Don't quit contributing, but consider altering the amount.

Secondly, my last childcare provider is now in your area. Although she doesn't take babies, she may have a name of someone she refers to. I would trust her judgement and referrals 100%! Send me an email and I will give you her info, if you're interested in talking to her.

I am a full time business owner with 3 boys. My office is in my home and our business is home inspections so we are closely linked to the real estate market. Changing your job and income may pose problems for this home you are looking to buy one day. Lenders really want to see stability and longevity from applicants.

People say they envey me because I can be home, but the reality of it is that it's the hardest thing I've ever done. And when 5:00 comes around, I still have business calls, paperwork, etc. "Careful what you wish for" is sometimes true :) Best of luck on your decisions.

One thing also to consider is adjusting your finances. You mentioned you have insurance and retirement taken out of your check. Of course it wouldn't be wise to drop the insurance, but you could back off the retirement contributions temporarily. Saving for retirement is necessary, but since you are young, you can make this kind of adjustment now and start contributing again later after you get through this situation.

There may be other things you can do with your finances that may help. Check out Dave Ramsey at www.daveramsey.com. He has written books that you can get at the library and conducts his Financial Peace University through local churches. I attended this and it has helped me make a significant improvement in my financial situation.

Hang in there - you will get through this. :-)

I am a mother of eight and have been a nurse for 5 years and am now a case manager. five years ago I was in your shoes except newly divorced and raising 5 soon to be 6 kids on my own. I lived in low rent housinfg and was in the middle of nursing school and working full time. I had E. a 31 nweek premie over christmas break between 3rd and 4 th semesters. I drove 2.5 hrs each direction to see my son at St Louis childrens and the rest of my children AT HOME FOR 36 DAYS. HALF OF WHICH I ALSO COMMUNTED TO 4TH SEMESTER NURSING SCHOOL. My point is dont wait for it to happen to you decide how much do I want this and do it. Let the cookie crumble where it may.. You wont regret finishing nursing school. you will always have a job and people who will compete to have you. Good luck and dont sweat the small stuff:)

Hi A.!

I want to expose you to an opportunity that many people who have degrees, careers, own businesses, are retired, are students, and are at home caregivers are doing to create continuous income in their finances without the need of moving up a coorporate ladder or getting a degree to do so. Bill Gates predicted an enormous amount of wealth will be created through ecommerce. He was correct in doing so. There is an great surge of business transactions that can be done this way, with less effort than going to work. If you are interested in getting more information on how you can create the same opportunity for yourself, just email me back. On monday, I will be going to a business seminar, to meet a man who is a millionaire living in Iowa. He will mentor us on adopting the same business system he used to gain his financial freedom. He started at age 34 and he is now 40. There will be many other success story in the room as well. I am just starting out in the business, and I have not stopped smiling. The meeting will be at the Sheridan Hotel off of Null in Kansas City, Kansas. I can reserve a seat for you if you are interested. For me this was the opportunity of a life-time, and so I jumped in, and started my business with only $143 as a one time startup-cost. There are MANY who are doing the same and reaping the benefits. I don't like to convence people to do anything, I just present the opportunity with no pressure, and if they accept or not is fine with me. I want people to believe all things are possible through faith, and so when I begin to establish good income, within the next 1-2 years, my disbelieving, struggling relatives will then jump in. I have a chemical engineering degree and my husband does too, so why in the world would I be doing this? Come and see!!!

Hi A.,

Sorry to hear of your babysitting troubles. I've been there! I too worked for good money, insurance, etc but my whole paycheck was going to daycare costs and gas. So I decided to stay home with my two boys. Great decision! But I did miss people so I went out searching for something that would allow me to be home with the boys but bring money in. After researching many companies I joined Daisy Blue Naturals. Best decision ever!! Money is coming in, I'm with my boys, and I'm using the best products that are Earth friendly and excellent for our family. I would love to show you how you can be part of this expereince.

Best Wishes,

J. Hobbs
Daisy Blue Naturals
10044 210 Ave
WaKeeney, KS 67672
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____@____.com
www.3743.daisybluenaturals.com

can you put him in a parents day out program for 4 hours? can you afford to only work really p/t? i can give you the name of a PDO

Hi A.,
Your post touched my heart. I, too am a frugal mom - by force of a divorce and now kind of a hobby. I have two boys which are now 6- and 9-years old. Will never say I am an expert on saving $ or raising boys, but I would certainly be willing to mentor you in achieving your goals. If you'd like to chat off-line via emai to come up with some solutions to your predicament, I'd be happy to share the things that worked for me. We can start off-line at ____@____.com and you can post the things that worked.
A.

Dear A.,
I'm now a grandmother, but still staying home and raising 2 grandchildren, with a 3rd just came to our home. I homeschool them. I can't say it's easy, but...
My husband wanted me to stay home. When I went to work, it cost too much, my paycheck never covered everything (gas, a second car, child care, prepackaged meals, etc). Having 5 children, plus paying support for his 1st child... Well, you can imagine how much we had to spend.
We didn't have a lot of extras, but we didn't do without any needs. We didn't have medicaid or any kind of welfare. My husband didn't make a lot of money, but enough with insurance sometimes for the kids. When my children were 3-11 years old, I did things like Tupperware and House of Lloyds. I wouldn't do Tupperware now, as it is so expensive. I did good with the toy market party-plan, and worked only 4 months out of the year, which helped with Christmas for my children.
My children tell me they are glad I stayed home with them. They have positive memories throughout their growing years. They are mostly good parents to their children, and stay with them as much as possible.
My grandchildren that live with me are (almost) 13, 14, and 4, but the father of the 4 year old lives next door, he just can't take care of him while he works full-time. The mother of the too "teens" chose a life of drugs when she left home, that's why I have those 2.
But I wouldn't change anything about choosing to stay home. I know things cost more these days, but there are ways around it. There are many "jobs" you could do at home, but be leery. There are many scams, too. Take a course on the internet and do medical transcriptions, or something like.
Good luck. Don't stress out, it doesn't change the situation, except by making you sick. Love your little one.

Is there any way you could offer some sort of "tutoring" or home help service for people with mental retardation? You could charge by the hour and try to do it during set hours where an hourly babysitter could be paid. you would probably be able to charge MUCH more than $11 an hour. I'm not sure what experience or responsibilities you had but you could work on life skills, job placement, etc... and charge at least $20-$30 an hour. You could take clients on shopping/errand trips,etc... It really could be as much or as little as you wanted to offer. Many families are interested in a more personal care experience. This would also provide some extra cash for school.

Could you look into some of those party/sell at home type things? Avon, Pampered chef, mary kay, etc? I think as a new mom taking care of someone's kid too all day would be really hard. How about some after school care? Also, add up how much it costs you to work. Remember if you stay home not only will you not be driving to work, etc. but you can do a lot to save money. Also, if you're not having kids anytime soon, can you guys scrimp until it's time for him to go to school... I know that sounds like a long time, but it goes by fast. When I first became a full time mom, my husband started school right afterwards, and 3 years of law school seemed like forever on no income, spending almost nothing on ourselves, scrimping for food, etc. but 3 years went by fast. I don't know, I just wish you well.

K..

PS I was barely 22 when I had my first daughter, I know it's hard sometimes being so young, but there are great benefits too. Congradulations!

A., When we had our twins I was put in the situation that after paying for Day Care for 2 children that it was going to take almost all of my paycheck. I decided to start my own home daycare and it has turned out quite well. I also got into selling Mary Kay and that has helped as well. If you would like to check that out my website is www.marykay.com/jwetterstrom. Good Luck. J.

You might want to consider a job in a hospital. I am a nurse and my husband is a unit clerk. we both work 12 hour shifts, so we alternate days off. If your fiance works monday-friday, you might be able to get weekend shifts only or work overnights. It isn't an easy situation, but it is a lot cheaper than full-time daycare. My husband and I use a sitter once a week so we can both work one day the same day and end up with two days a week off together. Also, most hospitals pay for tuition if you do want to go to nursing school. St. Johns has on-site UMSL classes. If you are interested, I can help get you a job somewhere. You could work as a patient care tech, or a multitude of other jobs.

If you stay home there are lots of options.

You could offer to care for a couple other children - getting paid for that. My niece is doing the same thing and there are a lot of other people that do just that. Be sure you draw up a contract. If you need help with that...I will see if we can send you a sample.

Also, there are a ton of at home businesses that you can do. If your fiance can stay with the baby in the evenings, that would free you up to do something for income as well. I have two children, a full time job and a part time job with signature homestyles. Check out my website. http://signaturehomestyles.biz/kh10169

There are lots of this kind of business. Find something you are passionate about and go for it. You control your calendar and your income by how much work you put into it.

If I could stay home with my kids - I would!!! Sacrificing money for a child is worth it...just not something we could do. I take every chance to be with them that I can. I am fortunate to be able to do so.

Hi A.. I'm a mother of two girls (23 and 13). Have you thought of staying home with the little one during the day and working part-time as a server in a restaurant some evenings and weekends? I was a single parent quite awhile ago trying to make ends meet and that's what I did. You don't make much hourly, but the tips more than compensate and you'll make more in tips than what you'd bring home making $11/hour (after they take out taxes, etc.) Also, I've been a Residential Mortgage Consultant for almost 20 years and I could help you with plans to purchase a house when you're ready. Good luck!

Hi A.,

Sounds like you've gotten some great advise from lots of women. I've tried a variety of things (you name it, I've done it) over the years, but I was introduced to an amazing company, with great integrity, and have build a home based business that is growing like crazy. We deal in all natural products and carry over 450 personal care products that are natural. Products that people use anyway, but ours are safe and beneficial...we even have a baby care line. I travel a lot between Wichita and the KC area working with women to help them build their business. In the past couple years I've built my business and make a full time commission while only working about 10-15 hrs a week, basically in the nooks and crannies of my time. I get great tax breaks which ends in a nice return at the end of the year. It's worth at least exploring to check it out further. You never know, maybe this is right for you and you won't know if you don't take a look! If not, at least you won't always wonder...what if! I would be happy to send you some free samples, share some business info with you and answer any questions you might have. I'm not in the convincing business, I'm in a business that shares with others and shows them how they can stay at home and build a nice income! If you are exploring the options of having a home based business, just remember there are 4 key things that you need to look at before taking the plunge! Feel free to visit my website and contact me anytime! Best of luck to you! V.

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____@____.com
www.vickimartinez.myarbonne.com

Hello,
My advice to you is that if you have any thoughts at all of going back to school do it NOW. I waited and am going now and my children are 9,7,and 4. It is not easy to juggle school for me, school for them, and everything they are involved in..not to mention laundry!! Go back to school! Not sure where at in the area you are but St. Charles Community College has a wonderful nursing program. I read somewhere that 96% of the students pass the nursing exam on the first try...that is amazing. Goodluck!
After reading the other posts....As a current SAHM do not EVER think that you are not doing something!! Being a mom to your child is the biggest job you will ever have! There are moms that are great moms and carry full time jobs. You might consider watching another child during the day to help off set the income.
again goodluck

Do you really only make about 150 per week? I think that's about the average going rate in your area.

I guess you could go ahead and get registered or licensed and provide care yourself. It sure seems like affordable care is needed out your way.

Have you thought about trying to find a better paying job?

Suzi

When we had a similar situation many years ago, I started watching kids for the income. It ended up the best thing for him and our family. I now (3 kids later) work professionally and make LESS money then when I did daycare. You get to spend all day w him and make good money Remember you get to choose how many kids you watch and your hours etc. Good luck!!

I did home daycare for one other child the same age as my son when he was an infant. She was with us for four years and he still considers her a sister. I worked also and after everything was taken out it was cheaper to stay home and see my beautiful son everyday. My career will always be there but I only get 5 years with my son before school steals him away.

Good luck,
D.

Hey A. I know that there are a lot of mothers that are in the same boat as you are, I am one of them. Childcare is just too expensive to justify working at all. I have four children and it is tough! I have babysat in my home for extra money (and playmates for the kiddos is always a great thing!). Have you considered going part time, cuts babysitting costs? I now have a part time night and every other weekend job. Really good for the hubby to spend quality time with the kids! Just some thoughts..keep your chin up it is just a season! God Bless

I agree with the other two ladies that have responded. Have you checked around for care for your son? If you really can't afford to work and put him in some sort of daycare why not care for someone else's child. I am a stay at home mom and have considered doing this myself but I am expecting my second child in November so I don't want to start now and leave someone without a sitter while I am having my baby.

I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. After my son turned 2 I was given an opportunity to stay home, however finances were already tight so I knew I would have to do something. I decided to start babysitting in my home. I only charge $11 per hour so those Moms who have to work aren't shelling out huge amounts for a sitter. It has been the best thing for our family thus far. I take the days off that I need so I can be there for our son's school activities, and I get to spend so much time with my kids. I do lessons with the children I watch and several of them are above there age on the PAT charts. Based on how advanced both my son and daughter are, I think that children do better when they have a parent who stays home. My son went to daycare for about 18 months and constantly got ear infections, developed asthma, etc. After taken out of daycare he didn't have any of those, until starting kindergarten. My daughter has never even had 1 ear infection. There are just so many benefits to staying home and being a full time Mom to even mention them all. I wish you the best of luck in the decision you make.

Since you live in an apartment, I'm not sure it's allowed, but I would try babysitting at home. Even if it wasn't allowed, you could watch just one baby. No one would probably even know. The going rate is between 150-200 a week (you might be able to charge a bit more if you just watched 1 baby??) That way, you're contributing and being able to stay home with your baby. Plus, even if you only made $150 a week, that still $600 a month (probably a lot more than you'd make if you went to work and had to pay for day care).
As for advice--try to enjoy this time as much as you can. It goes way too fast!

I remember when I quit working. I thought we'd never be able to make it and that we'd end up losing our house. But, of course, that didn't happen. I would suggest starting your own home-based business. You have very little overhead, excellent earning potential, and tax benefits. (Who doesn't love a big tax refund!) There are many options out there, but be sure and find a reputable one that has a proven history of results. I'm a Decorating Consultant with Home Interiors & Gifts, which is a great opportunity for SAHMs. You can set your own hours (great for when you go back to school) and average $30-50 (or more) per hour for the time you do work. It's lots of fun and easy to get started. There are even options to get you started without spending any of your own money. We have an excellent support system, including free training, free decorating classes to help you along the way, no party quotas, and your income potential is unlimited. Plus, you can make your home beautiful for less. Just click my name above to contact me if you are interested in finding out more about it! No obligation, of course. I also have friends with Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, and Premier Designs Jewelry who could give you more information on those opportunities.

I've been there! I too wanted to stay home with our girls and hated the thought of leaving them in childcare - not to mention the expense of going to work, fuel and daycare costs. I did miss adult interaction and getting out of the house though because I was a registered veterinary technician. We were the first in our group of friends to have a kiddo so I didn't have a lot of other moms to hang out with. Pre-baby I was very career oriented so the adjustment was challenging at first and I felt so torn. My desire to be home with our baby was so strong though, that I knew what I needed to do. I was not out looking for something actively - but something fell in my lap, that would allow me to be bringing in income while also being at home with the girls. I am out for short periods of time (when it fits our schedule) and the option to take them along if I want to!
In short - what I found was an amazing opportunity only limited by my fears of trying something new. This was the best decision ever!! Money is coming in, the sky is the limit income wise, and I'm using phenomenal products for my family that are pure, safe and beneficial. Your income matches your efforts, but people are able to bring in a six figure income if they are determined. I am on my way there... the best part is that our start up costs are minimal compared to other businesses, yet the rewards are absolutely amazing!

Best Wishes,

M. Wyatt
____@____.com

Hi A.-

I don't know where you live, but they recently opened an apartment-like facility for developmentally disabled in Winghaven called St. Louis Life. They may pay a lot better, and maybe allow you to bring your son with you to work if you ask - it may be really good for the residents, so you could try to work that angle. I think the residents are very highly functioning, so they should probably be pretty good with him. The other thing you might try is a 2nd or 3rd shift job. Day care is so expensive, but you really don't want to go on the cheap! Another thing you might want to think about is being a nanny where you can take your baby with you - most of them will do that, and with your experience, you shouldn't have any problems. Anyhow, good luck! Let us know what happens!

M.

Hi A.~

I have a wonderful idea that might just help you out in your situation...Please give me a call at ###-###-####....It has helped me and I am sure that I could help you!!

H. B.

A friend of mine sells Mary Kay products to make a little extra cash. I'm not sure how much she gets, but it might be something you can look in to. Also, maybe you can find someone else who needs a babysitter if you would be okay with watching someone else's kid during the day while they're at work. You can charge less than a normal daycare, but that could help as well. Good luck!

First of all don't feel you are not contributing if you stay at home.You are contributing by making a financial sacrafice staying at home with your child and much more.I have been a SAHM since my 5 year old daughter was born and my Husband and I both feel it's worth it.In our situation I decided I would be working to pay for chilcare.I don't know what your current situation is like.However I can assure you as long as your Fiance' is supportave of the decision for you to stay at home he will also make you feel like you are contributing.You would be keeping from having to pay a daycare and on top of that you will be able to be with your child all day.My Husband actually works two jobs because he's a fireman so he's not at the dept everyday.At first I felt like I needed to contribute financially.Then I realized I am because we are not having to pay daycare.Another thing I do to contribute is handle most of the things for our home,like grocery shopping,bill paying etc...Those things can make you feel like you are contributing.

My sister recently went through a similar situation. She lives in Chicago and by the time she would have paid for daycare, her paycheck would be gone. She has started working at an in-home daycare and can bring her daughter with her. Some options you might want to look at are nannying for another baby at their home while you bring your son too, finding an at home daycare where you can work, or working at a preschool/daycare. All of these options would allow you to bring your son with you (some daycare's give discounts to people who work there and some do not). Also, when you move into a bigger house, watching a few other kids at your house could also be an option. After your son turns two, child care is much cheaper. The ratio for infants is 1 caregiver to 4 infant under age two. After age two, it's 1 caregiver to 8 toddlers. This makes the cost cheaper so maybe you could look into child care again later on. Hope this helps, and best wishes!

As a nurse, I have to say, go back to school now if you can. Get a student loan or a grant or something and go....This way when your done going, you can work fulltime in just three days..........It never seems like a good idea, but I can assure that your income would increase double and that would help and so would working around your son and only needing daycare once or twice or even three times a week........You can get your LPN in just one year for 3500.00 at ATS in KC, KS and they have a WONDERFUL daycare and it will only cost you a meager amount. A few years back, I did that and it cost me $90 a week for daycare for my TWINS and its attached to the school and that way you at least have $5-$6 increase an hour and it would help you trememdously....JUST DO IT....don't wait....
GOOD LUCK, I know it's difficult to arrange these types of things, my mom passed when I was 27 and my mother inlaw is just not into my children for whatever reason....Some people love to be around their grandchildren and others consider them a burden....Good luck J.

Have you considered looking into working at a daycare? Sometimes you can get reduced or free childcare if you work there.

I am a stay at home mom. I do in home daycare. If you would like to give me a call I might be able to work something out. I live here in Columbia ###-###-####. Tammy

If you decide to go back to school, I believe both St. Louis Community College-Meramec and STLCC-Florissant Valley have infant day care. The best parts are that students are subsizided at $2/hr & it's drop in-care, so there's no penalty for not having specific hours. My son is in the care center at StLCC-Forest Park, which only takes 2 and up, but he loves it, and all the staff have degrees in ECE. That way you can get your degree and by the time he's ready for preschool you can contribute in a big way, and you've spent most of his crucial years with him!

breathe A.! being a first time mom with all that goes with it is scary...but it sounds like it might not be that bad. if you're working full time and making over 11 per hour (we are not made of money either, that is about what i make) you should be able to keep working - my sitter is a GREAT lady who does daycare out of her home, and she only charges me 135 per week. we about passed out when we heard some of the prices for the daycares around here too (we are NOT from johnson county originally) - $350 per week and up is ridiculous. as far as finding in-home daycare providers, we found ours when she put her sign in her yard. or hopefully someone on here might know of someone who has an opening. it'll work out hon, it always does! good luck!

Since you have experience working with individuals with mental retardation you can always go into the private sector and do in home care. There are usually homes that require 24hr supervision so you could always do evenings or overnights and your fiance can watch your son while you are at work. The pay would be less but you would still be able to contribute and not have to use daycare. I did part-time evening shifts and weekend shifts to help out and a lot of those places are very flexible with hours and schedules.

Hi A.!
You sound wise beyond your years, and I know you'll make the best decision for you and your family. But here may be some things to consider: Because your not yet married,I dont think your fiance can put you on his health insurance, though he could add the baby...and it's so risky to go w/out. And sitters dont always have to swallow your entire paycheck.Ask around,you may find someone in your neighborhood who will watch your son while you work. And I hear its a tax deduction, paying a sitter or daycare. And if you do get to stay home, maybe you could look into selling Creative Memories, or Mary Kay, or somthing you would like to do... maybe watch a child or two for another working family? Or I heard on Oprah once that a real good part time job to have is at Starbucks, because they give full time health benefits.
I think it's great that you want to get your education, and buy a home, both will bring stability.
And a thought: I live on a street where I'm the only sahm!!
I know some of these moms would much rather be at home,but one is waiting for her hubbie to be done w/med school, and another needs her paycheck to pay bills. So when you do find a house to buy, be careful not to buy more than you can afford! Sorry, I had to throw that in ! Good luck, and I hope this helped.

Check into home daycares in your area. You can still find some that only charge $20-25 per day. I wouldn't quit working if your family can't afford it. I would say babysit out of your own home, but with a brand new first child that would be a little rough. Good luck.

A.
I have so been there! A few years ago I had a great job that I loved and they changed contracts to a new company, They eventually phased out all the old people (not age wise lol) I have 3 children and wanted to help with the family bills but did not want to have to put the kids in daycare, I wanted to be able to be here if they needed to stay home from school sick, or come home from school sick, I am a room Mom and a Brownie leader and did not want to give all that up. Long story short, I looked into home based business, you can set your hours with that and work as often as you want, and contribute financially.
Other than something like that, would you be eligible for any type of assistance for daycare? Since you are not yet married maybe you can get something to help you.
There are also some daycare centers that will charge by your wage. They are few and far between but they are out there.
I wish you good luck girl and if you just need to talk you can count on us!!
Warmly
K.

My advice is to go to one of the local hospitals and appy for a job in their ER admitting department. They usually pay around $12-13 an hour and they are open 24/7 so you could work nights or weekends opposite from your fiancee then you wouldn't need to pay a sitter. Also, if you work nights you get a shift differential so you would make an extra $1 or so per hour. You don't need a college degree to work in admitting and if you are wanting to go to nursing school it's the perfect setting for you.

Hope this helps, good luck to you.

A.,
I can relate.....until my daughter was 3 years old it was mostly my husband, my in-laws, or my neighbor who watched my daughter. Then their jobs changed. Luckily I was able to find several babysitters that would charge me per hour only. I work a non conventional schedule at the Sheriffs office as a dispatcher, so I would need a sitter more some weeks than others.
I would say pray about it and I'm sure God will open the right job up for you, or the right sitter situation that will work for your situation. He cares about us an aweful lot. He is also very creative, so be open to whatever He brings along.
I don't know what hours your fiance works, but you could try doing housecleaning for anyone who needs it when your fiance is home or take a playpen and try to get a job done with your son there. If you clean for an elderly person, they may enjoy having a baby around for a few hours once a week. Check with people in your church or churches in your area to see if there are any people who could use those services. The elderly and the busy working crowd are those who need it most. You can either have them provide the cleaning supplies and charge a little less an hour, or provide your own that you take with you from job to job and charge a little more per hour. It's just an idea. Maybe start with some people you know...your grandma's friends or busy neighbor and see if they know of anyone else who needs some housecleaning. When I did it in college about 10 years ago I think I got paid $8.50 an hour using their supplies. So, you could probably get paid more now.
When your little baby boy gets older, you could try working a job with an opposite shift as your fiance. That's how my in-laws survived without a babysitter.
Well, I'm just as anxious to read the rest of the replies as you are. I'd like to stay home with my 3 yr old daughter if/and when we have a second child, but I'm not sure that will really happen.
Blessings to you!
J.

A.,
What ever You do these days please be careful of the work at home schemes! There are some out there that are good but if they ask You to pay to get started then please check them out thoroughly before sending them anything and please don't use a credit card or bank information for them. I wish I could help You more Sweetie! I work in the health field myself and I know the stress I raised two sons while doing this and also doing security. I had a husband who was very wonderful about helping me out when I had to work. So I guess I was blessed.
When are You planning to get married? Maybe then You can get on your fiance's insurance and they won't be taking it out of your check. Do You work in private homes or in an institution? If it's an institution then maybe they have some kind of way they can set up daycare for the employees. Sometimes companies will do that too. Maybe You can check into getting assistance with daycare from the state You're living in. Don't give up and remember God has a plan for each and every one of us. We just have to be patient and it will happen.
I know that staying at home with your bundle of joy is a great contribution, But then on the other hand it sometimes takes two incomes to make it in this world anymore! My fiance and I don't have any of our kids with us anymore and we still struggle to make it with two incomes. I wish You all the best Hon! God bless!
A.

When my children were little and I wanted to stay at home, I babysat for other children. Most of the time I kept one baby and 4 or 5 after school kids, so I was still able to get out during the day to shop or run errands, but made enough money to be able to be at home.
Good luck with whatever you do and God bless! D.

Hello A.! You are too cute.....being knowledgable about being a mom has nothing to do with age:) I have the awesome ability to work from home and contribute to our family that way. I work for a nutritional supplement company. If you would like to chat about it, I would love to tell you more. Check out my website www.myvemma.com/create It wasn't anything I saw myself doing, but I use the product and love it. Let me know!

Hi A.,

I see that you have gotten a ton of good responses, but I am still going to give you one more to think about. I agree with the many responses that this is a critical time for you to be home with your son. Being a mother is the most important job in the world!! He is so fortunate that you place so much impotance on him! The other is looking into a home business. I too am going to offer you to look at what I am doing. I have done several until this one is the one for my family and always be as it is not just a business, but a lifestyle! There is no inventory and you are helping others improving their lives physically and financially. I would love to meet with you to tell you about it. It takes about 30 minutes, with no pressure. I just like to educate people on ways to improve health and wealth. If it's for you...great! If not, that's fine, too. Give me a call at ###-###-####. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. God Bless you on your search for answers. ~J.

Hello A.,

Being a Stay At Home Mom is the most rewarding and important job a mom, and wife could ever have. I have three children, a boy 8, a boy 6, and a girl 2. As you can see me working and paying for daycare is not a good combination. I chose to babysit in my home. There are many parents looking for good caregivers. I don't know where you live, however, there are angencies out there that can help. I love having some extra money. Just think the money you would give to Daycare, you can make yourself. Your baby will thank you by they way he loves you. You will make the right decision. Trust your heart when it comes to your baby and you will never go wrong.

Be blessed in your decision.

Is there any way that you can just be on your fiance's insurance, or would that only happen after you are married? What about holding off on the retirement savings? If you quit, you wouldn't be able to save that anyway. I am a big one on 401K IF you can afford it. Would it be better for your fiance to stay at home? Really, if daycare would be that hard to afford, after all is taken out, you probably aren't going to making ANYTHING, because after you are put in a higher tax bracket, nice clothes, second car with fuel, etc, most moms can't afford to work for free. KWIM? Anyway, just food for thought.

There are a few things you can do.... I am a licensed day care provider through the state, and I was watching two children upto about 2 months ago when their parents situation changed. You should try to apply for assisstance with childcare, or check out private caregivers in your area. Be sure though to ask for refrences. I have had many parents that I have dealt with that I have made arrangements with. There are some who would love to make arrangements, so as to help working moms make it. Just check around your private owned daycares. Good luck...

I've got the PERFECT opportunity for you! I do Mary Kay on the side & I'm looking to quit within the next year as I build my customer base & unit. I work for Ford Moter Company & yes I do make good money but I hate what I do because I do it 58 hours a week! I got into MK helping a friend but boy oh boy did it help me! I work the business about 10 hours a week but I do extremely well. I just got back from a women's conference & I did facials for about four hours & made almost $800.00! Yes you read that correctly. You can be a sahm & work this business as little/much as you want. You can have people come to the apartment & do it while your son sleeps....if you want! Girlfriend the income potential is out of this world....only you limit your money. I'd love to share this opportunity with you & it's NOT expensive to join. We make 50% off of what we make. You say you want to buy a house, be a sahm, help contribute WELL THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY! Let me know asap & we can get you going asap. You can come to either one of the MK studios & observe what we do & get a FREE facial while your there, you can get info at that time if you'd like. I'm in Kansas City, North on Tuesday night's & Overland Park, KS on the Thursday night's..which one will be better for you? OR I can set a time & date to come to you...it's totally up to you, so you tell me which one will work for you? I'd love to have you join my team & by the way NO college degree needed to make a six figure income, how about that:-)?! Good luck, congrats on that precious baby boy & God Bless!

You don't always need a daycare they cost way to much. Have you thought of looking for a grandma in your area that needs a little extra money. I watched a child for many years it wasn't a business, only extra grocery money (maybe today gas money). A good place to check is your local church.
Candy

hey A., it's L. I hope you don't have to leave the county, I will miss you and whatever you do, I know you will be fine, I can always babysit your little one if you want to drive all the way to gardner? keep in touch and hang in there!! talk to ya soon

A.- You and I have several things in common. I also have sons, and work full time with individuals w/ all sorts of disabilities including mental retardation. This time w/ your son is precious and it would be best if you could be home w/ him and supplement your income.
I found a super company which has been a dream come true. I am a very shy person w/ absolutely no sales experience, but am now doing in home spas for BeautiControl and it is amazing!! I can feel great about sharing the products because they are so good. I cant believe how much money I make while having a fun time w/ gals once or twice a week. You can do these in home spas in the evenings once or twice a week when your husband is home, or on a Sat morning, or even spa schools or businesses once a week during the day-- paying a babysitter once a week would be much more profitable-- since you will be clearing so much more per hour than your other job, and still spending most of your time w/ your son. The business is amazing. I have also earned trips in addition to many other things. It was a super tax write off, as well. They provide the training free of charge. I cant say enough about it! I would love to share the opportunity w/ you. Take care! G. S.
You can check out my website at www.beautipage.com/ginastewart or call at ###-###-####.

Hi, A. --

I see that you have received a lot of responses, and all of the advice is REALLY good. I am a SAHM for 2 boys (3 y/o and 6 month old), and discovered Arbonne about a year ago. I started looking for something to do from home when I was pregnant with my first child, and tried online tutoring. It was great for a while but once my son was mobile, it became really difficult. I would definitely recommend a home-based business, but be sure that you take the time to find the once that works for you. It took me 2 years, but now that I have found the right one, I love it! If you want more info about my company (or some unbiased info about some of the other companies because I have done a LOT of research) feel free to email or call me ###-###-####). Good luck, and I hope taht you find something that works for you!

I think it's wonderful that you are open to advice, first of all. It shows maturity that you know how much you don't know.

I just wanted to share a bit about my situation. My husband is a teacher, so doesn't make a whole lot of money. I stayed home with my first son, went back to work for a while, and now stay home with my second son (working very part time). I always felt that it was better for my kids to have a constant attachment to me as their mother and caregiver. We made sacrefices, financially, so that I could stay home with them. It isn't always easy, but we do it anyway. Whatever you decide, just remember that you ARE contributing TO YOUR FAMILY (and society) by taking good care of your child(ren).

A lot of women will take care of other people's children in their homes, as a little bit of extra income. I chose not to do that.

I remember feeling the need for lots of advice with the birth of my first child. I think the best advice that I could have gotten was to trust myself. Deep down you know very well what is best for your kids. Sometimes it's deeper than your actions on the surface, but you do know, even when you do something you aren't proud of.

I hope this was helpful. Just remember, we are very blessed in this country to have all of the resources that we do. If you think that you are deprived of something, just think of how lucky you are to have a roof over your head and food to eat everyday.

You will never regret staying home with your son. If you think that you can do it financially, you will make it happen. Somehow the bills get paid. I've been home for about 2 months now. I had a similar situation with babysitters that eventually left me in the negative (I have 3 children). I am a much more patient person now and my husband loves that dinner is on the table when he gets home. Before you know it, your son will be going to school. It goes so fast. Enjoy it if the opportunity presents itself. If your fiance supports it, staying home sounds like it is the best decision for your family. The other thing that you have to consider when making this kind of decision: is it right for you? Many women cannot stay home because they need the adult interaction and time away from the children. There is nothing wrong with that. Just imagine what your days would be like if you were a stay at home mommy. Do you see yourself happy or getting depressed? I am lucky to have a sister that lives only a couple of miles away that stays home, also. It is important to make friends with other stay at home moms so that you have someone to talk to about what you are going through. Only another mom would care to hear you talk about getting up 4 times last night, again!! And we all need to vent! Good luck with the decision. Trust in yourself that you will make the right one! You can always work from home if you need the extra moolah!

I have two thoughts for you. First, The lady that has been watching my boys is Debbie Woods. She is very good at working with my boys and teaching them every step of the way. She is also much cheaper than most at only $12 a day. If you are interested, call her at ###-###-####. She currently has a few openings. Secondly, I became a stay at home mom. It was tough at first, and required some second looks at how we spent our money (ex: not eating out but once a week, and finding cheaper enertainment like going to the park adn library instead of the movies and bowling). If you cant quit work totally, try part time work instead. Any way you decide, they are only little once, so make the most of the time you have with him. Enjoy every minute and trust God in your decisions.

United Services is in St. Peters at Cave springs and they are always hiring and have assistance for those who qualify. They also love people who work with special needs, they believe in combining the classes so all children are integrated. I have had both my children there, it is extremely wonderful school. I actually thought about picking up sub work there. they also have one in O'fallon by dardeen. Your children get a discount if you work there. good luck.

Hi A., I too was in your situation about 2 years ago. I am a mother of 4 and used to work for the State of Missouri for 9 years. Daycare for 4 children was crazy!!!! I quit my job and am home during the day with the children while my husband is at work and 2 nights per week I go out and do my own job. I do in home jewelry shows with lia sophia jewelry. This stuff is awesome, I don't really have to do anything, it sells itself, I make my own hours so I work when it's convenient for my family. This was the best thing I have ever done and I am now making more money than I made working 40 hours per week. If you would like to learn more check out my website: www.liasophia.com/carinkleekamp I would love to help you!