Help: My 6.5 Month Old Won't Sleep by Herself After Vacation

Updated on January 05, 2009
C.L. asks from San Francisco, CA
8 answers

We went on vacation for a week. During this time she would have difficulty sleeping in the pack and play and would cry so we would take her to bed sometimes. When we got home, she would nap ok in her own crib in the morning, but starting the late afternoon she got super fussy. She would scream every time we even attempted to get her horizontal! She used to fall asleep on her own. Now she wants to be held in the carrier and walked to sleep. We thought it may have been teething pains but it has been a week and so far, no teeth and motrin and oragel seem to make no difference in her fussiness. She's not drooling excessively or attempting to put things in her mouth. We attempted to let her cry a little bit last night and she ended up throwing up so we're very hesitant about doing that anymore. My back is killing me. I can't keep pacing the halls several times a night to get her to sleep. The minute I try to gently lay her down in her crib she wakes up. I tried over 10 times last night. I end up taking her to bed with me and holding her which makes me have a very uncomfortable night of sleep but at least I get to sleep a little. If this does sound like teething, can someone tell me how long this behavior usually lasts? Or is it just residual sleep changes from being away from home?

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L.M.

answers from Fresno on

It sounds like your daugher is overly tired. Try putting her to bed when you notice her calming down and becoming more relaxed in the evening. Do it BEFORE she becomes cranky. Even if this means at 6:30 in the evening. She more than likely won't wake up any earlier in the morning, her body is just trying to get caught up on the sleep that was lost. Watch for sleep cues and follow them throughout the day for naps not the clock.

With that said, try to keep with your bedtime routine you had before vacation but don't let her get too worked up if she doesn't just go to sleep. Try staying with her in her room and hold her hand while she is in her crib or if possible lay down with her in her crib until she falls alseep and put a step stool on the ground to help you get out quietly. She just sounds too tired to sleep comfortably and since she is not getting the proper amount of REM sleep she is never feeling rested and able to recover from the day before. Good Luck and Sweet Dreams!!

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C.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Routines are extremely important to babies, and once they are off routine, it takes a while to get them to back - but it does happen. I would not have her sleep with you unless you want that to be her new routine (not to mention she is at risk for SIDS if you do so). There are other options. I would begin by making a bedtime routine if you don't already have one. Our bedtime routine is bath, reading, prayers that include a prayer of blessing that I sing and then after that the old "Good Night, Sleep Tight" song from Lawrence Welk (a old orchestra leader and he had his own show.) My kids know that when I get to that song - it is over. They are usually asleep within minutes. You need to start your bedtime routines while they are young and believe me you won't be sorry. (I have three grown children who went right to bed and am starting all over again with a five and nine year old and I'm a foster mom who has a lot of babies - the below tips have worked for every single baby -except for one, but she had neurological and other problems, so she was the exception.)
TIPS:
Have you tried putting her in her crib and staying there by her and patting her or very gently shaking her torso back and forth (a little like rocking, but she is laying down), as some kids do this to themselves. Softly singing too (or playing soft, soothing music -I have Ocean sounds in the background with a soft flute and it has worked great. When I sing, I sing a very soft lullaby and sing it over and over again, so there is no change that alerts the baby. Also, don't leave until she has been asleep for a few minutes because they seem asleep at first, but are just in a deep rest and if you leave them, they get up and start crying, but have just lost trust in you and they are harder to get down the next time. Hope this helps.

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

About the teething, try Boiron Camilla Teething Remedy. It's homeopathic and was so much more effective than Orajel for us. It comes in little plastic vials that your daughter can hold herself (with supervision) and chew on; the remedy numbs the baby's mouth slightly, and holding the vial and chewing on it gives her something to do as well as taking the focus off the ouch of teething.

That line about your daughter crying it out a little bit and then throwing up, plucks my heartstrings. She's just a little one, and she wants so much to be close to you! That want will lessen in time, so ;) cherish it now. My daughter responded the same way after vacations. I think it is partly residual from being away from home, but I also think babies just naturally want to sleep close to their parents, particularly mom, whose warmth was their first home.

I'm a first-time mom too and that very first year was such a huge learning experience. ;) Hang in there, mama. And try the Boiron when it comes to teething time.

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L.M.

answers from Sacramento on

I notice that your baby is just over 6 months old so I was just wondering if it is possible that you've recently added new foods that could be upsetting her. Did you start a new food while on vacation? You didn't say if you are breastfeeding or using formula but did you change anything like that? Dietary changes are often the clulprit when bablies aren't sleeping well. Good luck!

~L.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Man, those vacations can really screw up a routine.

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C.F.

answers from San Francisco on

hi catherine, i think it sounds like your daughter likes to sleep with you. i would go back to your schedule & routine before you left for vacation. stick to it, be consistent and don't bring her to bed. you might have 2 or 3 hard nights but she will adjust. we had a similar experience when we got home from our vacation where our daughter had to sleep with us for a week. good luck.

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Well, I hate to say it but I think you're back to square one on your daughter's sleeping. Our daughter never slept with us until we went on our first vacation and on the second night she woke up and silly me pulled her out of her pack 'n play and put her in bed with us. Luckily, when we got home we went straight back to our routine and even though she cried for a couple of minutes we didn't have anymore issues. Every vacation was the same, she would sleep with us then when we got home back to sleeping by herself.
Now she is 2 1/2 and we bought her a air mattress/sleeping bag and she loves it and we no longer have her in bed with us on vacations! Yay! I would just gradually start putting her back in her bed and telling her to go "night-night". If something is really wrong: teething, gas, etc. then maybe a visit to the doctor is not a bad idea. At least it might put your mind at ease knowing there is nothing wrong with her but simply she wants to sleep with you.
I wish you the best and just remember consistency makes things get better a lot faster.

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A.C.

answers from San Francisco on

It sounds like your daughter just wants to be close to you- which is natural. Its not teething- she has grown close sleeping with you and enjoyed the security she felt. My baby often sleeps on her own, but there are nights she doesnt want to be in her crib. I dont let her cry it out- dont think that approach is healthy. I pick her up and hold her till she is sleeping soundly then place her in the crib. Sometimes, i have to bring her to bed with me for a lil while but I always move her to her crib so that she wakes up there.

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