Help! My 7 Month Old Won't Sleep Without a Paci and Is up Every 15 to 30 Min!

Updated on February 01, 2009
S.N. asks from Frisco, TX
32 answers

Hello ladies,

My family truly needs some feedback on what to do in this sleepless situation. My 7 month old has had sleeping problems since birth. She would only sleep in a swing until 4 months and now that she is in her bed, she is waking anywhere from every 15 to 30 minutes all night long. She usually will get in her big stretch of straight sleep at 4am until 6am. I am past the point of delirious. The issue is she has a very strong sucking need ever since she was born and constantly wants her paci all night long. when she wakes up, she cries if it is not in her mouth (and of course it has fallen out by then). I am up and down up and down all night popping her paci in her mouth. It is exhausting for us, but I am concerned about her and not sleeping for longer than 30 minutes at a time. She wakes up happy in the mornings, so I guess it is not really harming her. I wanted to wean her from the paci to learn other self-soothing techniques, but she is truly hooked and I am doubting it is right to wean her just yet. She has also been teething the past few months and is a bit longer to get her to sleep other than just the paci.

Any ideas on what I can do or has anyone else ever had this problem? I need your help.

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G.V.

answers from Dallas on

Hello my name is G. and I have an 8-month old baby also. I wouldn't worry to much about the paci at this point, I was actually told by the PCP that it was good to sleep my baby with a paci, because it reduces the risk of SIDS. Once he is 1-year then I would start working to get my baby off the paci. Think about it the paci is even soothing for them since they are teething. Good luck.

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A.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.. I think I have something that will make you feel better.... I had the same issue with my daugther and I ended up buying her a paci strap ( a short one ), attaching it on her clothes at night time. I took that litle plastic piece that comes on it just to be safe....no "choking hazards". I also had a few more pacis on her crib, just about everywhere :) She just gave up her paci with almost 3 1/2 years old, a few days before Christmas because Santa would trade her pacis for toyssss!!! Yeeeeee it really worked and we are all happy now. I always wanted to get my sleep and it is already hard to do that when you have little ones, right?? My aunt is a dentist and she always told me that as long as kids don't use their paci the whole day long, just to sleep and if you break that habit before they are 3 years old, their teeth will get back to normal. GOOD NEWS!!! As I said before, my daugther just gave up her paci and her teeth is beautiful. Good luck!! A.

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

Is she hungry? upset tummy? You said she has been teething --are you gving her Tylenol or something else for teething pain at night??

Also,I would def. talk to her pediatrician. B/C waking up every 15 - 30 minutes at night is NOT normal. And it does NOT mean she is "spoiled". It means that something is going on and crying is the only way she can communicate this to you.

Also, if she is able to sooth herself with a paci then why, why, why take it away from her????? At her age that is how children sooth themselves. They do not have all the coping mechanisms that older children and adults have. So, sucking on a paci for her age for comfort is very normal.

Good Luck,
M.

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

Please do not take the paci away! I would suggest giving her some tylenol before bed to help with her teething and I would also put about 10 pacifiers in her bed so she would be able to find one. I'm sure the paci helps her gums with the teething and make sure she is getting enough food intake during the day so she can go longer at night. Good Luck!

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

S.,

Don't worry about trying to wean your baby off the pacifier so early - you don't see high-schoolers or college students with pacifiers.

My son had a difficult time giving up his pacifier (at 3 1/2), but not as difficult a time as my daughter had sucking her fingers (4 or 5!) !!!!!!!!!!! Be glad it's the pacifier and not the thumb or fingers.

We used the short pacifier strap. At 7 months a baby can learn to find it him/herself. Put your child to bed while still awake, so she can figure out how to fall asleep on her own and can discover the strap for the passy. After our son learned to reach for and get things, we didn't retrieve his paci for him in the night time. He learned to find it on his own whenever he woke up.

Get the baby out of your bedroom and don't rescue her at night! When she cries, you can get up and make sure she's alright, but help her find the paci herself. Let her learn how to self-comfort! Eventually she will learn to find the paci while she's still mostly asleep.

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

My first LOVED her paci. This story sounds very familiar. I would recommend getting her out of your room if you have not already. That is when we were less likely to get out of bed and grab her paci for her. I don't how you feel about letting her a cry a bit; however, that really is the only recommendation that I would have. I just had a heart-to-heart with my pediatrician about my second daughter. She is 6 months; still waking in the middle of the night. We run to her when she cries b/c she shares a room with my older daughter. We did not do this with our first at all at this age. Then she ends up in our room the rest of the night. We are going to make some changes starting this weekend - I will let you know how it goes. We are pretty exhausted ourselves

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

At work, so can't give much detail but my quick thoughts are: I wouldn't try to wean her but that's jut a personal philosophy and you have to do what's right for your family. If you agree to let her have the paci I would put several in the crib. That way if she tries to find it she's more likely to find one. I also took a very soft cloth diaper and attached it to one of the pacis so it's very easy for him to find it. He knows to look for the fabric and since it's bigger he can get to it. Mine had the same problem and I was forever getting up to put it back in his mouth and just about at 7 months he started being able to find it on his own and sleeping 7pm to 7am almost every night. Oh, they also say if you gently pull on the paci while they're sucking they suck harder to keep it in, this makes their suck harder in general they're more likely to keep it in at night. There is also the thought that at about this age or a big older you can start to let them cry a bit - only for a minute or 2. You'll find that if you don't come right away, they decide it's not worth the effort and look for the paci and learn to go to sleep. There is a fine line though, I never wanted him to feel like his needs weren't met at that age, if he started to get really upset I'd go to him but I'd let him whimper just a bit to see if he'd fall back to sleep and oftentimes he did. It was almost like he wasn't even really awake. Again, everyone has a different opinion about that. Listen to everyone's ideas and then do what works for you and your family. Good luck!

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

Get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child, and also Baby Whisperer. These books will help you deal. Seriously. I know you are completely exhausted!!!! So reading books sounds near impossible. So just flip through to the sections you need, and implement. Your baby is sleep deprived, that's why she wakes up so much. My 6 month old needs her paci, too, I must admit, and I've been guilty of going in and popping it back in for her, too. But, she sleeps really well for the most part b/c of the strategies in those books. You probably will have to do some crying it out tough love at this point, but if you refuse to do that, both of the books have strategies w/ no crying methods. Hang in there! I feel your pain. Blessings!!!!

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T.R.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter loves her Wubba Nub - a pacifier attached to a beanie baby-like animal. We have the red puppy and black kitty. I love that she can find it herself when she loses it at night. E-bay has them or The Nesting Place in Grapevine!

http://www.wubbanub.com/

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Feed her a good dinner... put on soothing music at a low volume... and for gosh sakes, do not give her the paci. She's manipulated you so she knows she will get what she wants at the age of seven months. If she is fed... clean... give her a baby to snuggle with ...leave her cry. Purchase a pair of ear plugs and take a light sleeping pill for your sanity.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

We didn't put my son in bed with us because it isn't healthy for YOUR sleep, or your marriage, if that becomes an all the time thing (easy to become this!). 7 months old is to young, in my opinion, to even bother thinking about weaning a paci from her. I agree she may have a reflux situation, and I also absolutely agree with showing her how to find the paci with it attached to something. That's a daytime activity: show her how the paci is connected to something, and how to pull on the string and end up with the paci on hand. Practice that. My son did that, and it was terrible (but only twice/night, so I can only imagine what you're going through). Once he knew how to get his own paci, he would sleep through the night and wake up happy and rested. Now, we've watched him do it in his sleep occassionally, without even waking up. He is 2 and we don't use the paci at all during the day, but allow him to have it at night when he's in bed, and don't think there's anything wrong with it at all. If he reaches for it in the daytime, I'll just casually say "you want your paci? is it time for bed?" and he'll say no and toss it. But 7 months old is very young still. Good luck.

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H.P.

answers from Dallas on

Here's an out there suggestion-- may not work, but may be worth a try! Try to turn her into a thumb sucker! Keep putting it in her mouth during the day, and see if she catches on. That way, she always has her comfort attached to her-- and she need not wake you up when it "falls out"! :)

BTW, those who take away the paci or wean thumb sucking at early ages (1, 2,) should really do some research! Sucking is a comfort to kids, and it is not harmful. The overwhelming majority of kids will stop before they reach Kindergarten. It doesn't provide any potential harm to the mouth until the child is past 5 years old. Both of mine stopped at age 4, voluntarily. I think it is cruel to do it any other way.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Someone said let her cry it out. Don't do that. Put her in bed with you or try to get her to suck her thumb. This phase will pass. I've been through it, too. As for teething, give her Tylenol before she goes to bed. Call pedi to see about dosage. Good luck!!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

I am having sleep issues with my own little one.. I was set a few weeks ago ... my child went down for naps and bedtime and did not wake till 4am.. and then I come to mamasource and ask what is going on! Why am i waking at 4am.. Well some moms made me feel crapy saying put him in bed with me so i did and now im back to waking up every hour soothing my child back to sleep! So by all means do not put her in bed with you.. I belive someone said put a bunch of pacifires in the crib and let her cry it out.. Some moms say your child wont trust you .. NOT TRUE my child loves me and knows i take care of him.. So as for me im going to go back to sleep training my child and feeding him at 4 when he wakes and then back to his bed he goes! And as for weaning from the paci, not time yet.. When my first daughter was 2 her dr. said that at age2 take the paci away it will mess up her teeth... And dont introudce her thumb ..unless she does that on her own.. you cant take a thumb away when shes 2.. so for her orthodontics wait till 2 then take paci...hope this helps a little

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R.V.

answers from Dallas on

I would not take her paci away, it is cruel.
I also would not let her use my breast as a paci all night either.
The Wannanub is a great idea, it will help be able to find the paci by herself.
If that doesn't work put her in bed with you but don't let her nurse all night - that is not healthy.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

I agree that at 7 mos she should start being able to insert her own paci. I've never been able to let DD cry, so here's what I'd try: I would put several in her crib. When she wakes up and wants one, I would go in and give it to her IN HER HAND. Let her put it in her own mouth. If she's like mine, there will be some funny face stabbing, but she will get it after a couple of tries. She'll get used to the idea that she can do it herself, and learn to re-insert her own. GL!

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

I know how you feel! I'm sorry it's been so rough.

What I would do is the following: Move her into my bed (I have a snuggle nest style co-sleeper for when they are little-you may not need this) so I could pop her paci back in without waking all the way up. I would administer teething tablets (herbal) before bed everynight to pre-empt pain from teething. I would snag a nap during the day when she naps or someone else can watch her. I would expect that she would be up several times every night, appreciate the sleep I do get, and Pray that this passes soon and that I can handle this phase.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

This is one of the reasons I love breastfeeding. Bring her to bed with you and breastfeed her every time she wakes up. You won't miss a beat, just roll over, feed, and go right back to sleep!

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Keep her in bed with you and let her nurse/suckle/use you as a pacifier. Babies sleep best next to momma.

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

S.,
Do not know if this is right or wrong, but we did it and we finally got some sleep! We put about 10 binkies in our baby's crib so that when she woke up, she had a binky at hand. This will not cure her waking up, but perhaps you can get some rest. Our baby also had that strong need to suck, so we didn't want to take the binky too soon. At 16 months, we were finally able to get her weaned (only took three nights without it) and now she sleeps "like a baby" :-)

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

If teaching your baby to find and insert her own paci from the extras in the crib doesn't work, there are a couple of other things you might check into to see if there is another underlying cause for the difficulty sleeping.

Cranio Sacral Massage Therapy: It's ultra-gentle, usually done in an OT/PT clinic by a licensed massage therapist. My oldest didn't sleep all night until 4 years old, so I understand how debilitating your exhaustion is. This type of massage improved my daughter's sleeping DRAMATICALLY. It's not fabulous for everyone, but you'll know after one massage if it's going to be great for your child or not. We use Ken Piercy (www.kenpiercy.com) now, and have used Suzanne at Integrative Pediatric Therapy (www.integrativepediatric.com) in the past. Both are excellent.

Chiropractic Care: Sounds crazy to some, but all 3 of my kids now see a chiropractor. We're all healthier this year than ever before thanks to these adjustments. Look for someone who sees a lot of kids, and ask other moms you know for recommendations. If you get a bad feeling, don't let the person touch your baby. If you trust her/him, this could be really helpful. We see Dr. Melissa Shelton (www.drmelissashelton.com). She sees lots of tiny babies. My youngest started seeing her at 20 monhts, and he loves it. At first it looked just like she was holding him against her chest. The pressure she uses is very gentle. My son actually giggles through his adjustments, and hops up onto the table by himself.

Both of these ideas meet my personal standard of: if it can't hurt, but might help, it's worth a try.

Trust your gut, because you know your child best. Books are great, but remember to filter what you read through your own experience with your child. The author's child might have had a very different temperament than yours, so that solution might not be perfect for your family. You need to sleep, and so does your daughter, so don't give up looking for things you can do to help her. The first thing you try might not work, but keep looking.

Good luck!
S.
SAHM of 3 (ages 8, 6 and 2)

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

NO dont ween her... sound like she has a oral motar fixation that is sensory based (from you telling me that she needed swinging as well)

I would try getting a wubbanub and attach it to your paci it will help her find it at night... she will soon be old enough to find it in the crib herself. My oldest son had this problem as well..

goto www.wubbanub.com to get a wubbanub they work great at helping the little ones keep the paci handy. I also used to put several in my sons crib so if it cot lost he could find one fast...

my other 2 sons never had this problem so its not YOU or anything YOU have done its just your child has a strong sucking instinct.

you might also try mylanta origonal (1/2 teaspoon before bed) its a possibility that your baby has silent reflux the fact that she needed constant swinging and needs to suck (helps produce saliva that can help the tummy feel better)the mylanta is an antacid and if she is having tummy trouble then it will help. I gave that to my sons from the age of 2 weeks (1/4 tsp at that age) and it worked great but 2 of mine had severe reflux and needed other meds for it.

its worth a try and if it works, even better...

Goodluck
A. J

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J.A.

answers from Amarillo on

Hi S., my son was the same way. I would put him to bed with 5 or 6 paci's in his crib every night. I also fastened one on a short ribbon (not long enough to wrap around his neck) and sewed it to a small bear he slept with. Then I let him start crying until he found a paci on his own... it took about 3 nights of me laying in my own bed crying and fighting not to go help him but he finally figured it out. We never had any other sleep problems after that, not even when we took the pacifiers away because we did it when he was 2 1/2 and old enough to understand that we were giving them to the babies because he was now a big boy.

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

Someone suggested teaching her to suck her thumb instead and I would discourage that. I was a thumb sucker until the 2nd grade. Not only was it bad for my teeth (I had to have orthodontia at age 8) but it was very traumatic when I finally had to kick the habit. It's a lot easier to take away a paci than it is to take away the thumb.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know how much help I'll be, but here goes. My 2 oldest LOVED their paci's. We would put about 10 in the bed with them at night with the thought that if one fell out, they would be able to find another one. It's worth a shot! My second suggestion is have you let her try to self sooth any? Meaning, if she's asleep and wakes up, do you go to her right away to give her the paci or do you let her fuss for a few minutes first? I hate to let kids cry, but with my last one, he woke up every night until he was 11 months old. I would usually give him a few minues to try to sooth himself, but then I'd go to him. One night I just watched the clock and believe it or not, he had cried and soothed himself back to sleep within 15 minutes. I don't think 15 minutes is too long to let a child cry to see if they can self sooth. My other suggestion would be to go in after 10 minutes, give her the paci and calm her down. Then, the next time wait 15 minutes before going in. Then, 20 minutes...just to see if she'll finally calm down.

Good Luck! Sleep deprivation is really tough on the mom!!!

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.,

She's still a baby so I wouldn't recommend weaning her just yet. At 7 months she should be able to self soothe. Are you giving her time to self soothe are you running in there as soon as you hear her? What time is bed time? If you lay her down early try to make it 30 minutes later. Make sure she gets plenty to eat and is nice and full at bed time. Like one lady mentioned leave several paci in the crib for her. She's 7mo she should be able to move around and find it herself w/out you running in the room. BTW it is okay to let her cry she will figure it out and go back to sleep. Just give her a chance to do this.

Good Luck to you!

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.,

I went through this with my daughter. I noticed she was very calm when watching Baby Einstein movies, so I looked for something to put in her crib. I found the Flutterbye Soother from Fisher Price. I don't know if they still make it or not as this was nearly four years ago. But it plays a cartoon on the ceiling and plays music. At about eight months, she was able to turn it on herself whenever she'd wake up. She used it next to her toddler bed too.

We didn't wean her from the paci until she started preschool (just after her third birthday). We started by removing it from naptime around 2 years old, but then got rid of it at bedtime when she started school. I was able to make a deal with her - she'd go two weeks without the paci and she'd a surprise. After two weeks she got her surprise and she never asked for the paci again.

Good luck!

S.

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

As someone else mentioned, purchase "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" quickly and go by it. Healthy sleep is what is best for your child. Learning self soothing. In the crib. Babies will cry, just as they do when you take them to the doctor when they are sick. Be consistent & hang in there!

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter would loose her pacifier often during the night and wake up. We didn't have quite the frequency you are having but to alleviate me getting up as often, we would put one paci in her mouth and one in her hand or near her head. When she would lose one she would grab the other one instinctively and put it in her mouth. At some point during the night she would eventually lose both of them and we'd start the process over but it gave me a little longer to sleep in between.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

Girl! Your baby is calling the shots around there. I know some people have a hrad time with this, but it is time to let her cry. She has to learn that she doesn't get mommmy every time she cries. She is spoiled to the attention and I am sure she is loving it, but it is going to be hard on her and you. You can not be the best mom you can be when you are exhausted, and I garuntee that you would see a big difference is her personality is she started sleeping through the night. It is making her tierd just like it is you. PLEASE PLEASE go get this book. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Dr Marc Weisbluth. I have reccomended this to so many people and everyone has always loved it. He gives several different methods for teaching your baby how to sleep. Remember, they do have to be taught. Good Luck!

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

I definatley agree about the paci. My son is 15 months and still takes it. I wll break him at 2 yrs. my daughter would not take it and sucks her thumb, I can't take that away and it sucks. If she is teething that may be causing her not to sleep well. She may be in pain. I would give her a little motrin for a week right before bedtime. My pedi had me do this with my son. I also used Hylands Teething Tablets. I could not figure out why he was up so much. He said it will not hurt them due to the little amount it is and the short amount of time it is in their system. It really helped me out.
Also, since she was propped up in the swing maybe you can prop her up on a boppy in her crib. Good luck, I know that it sucks getting up so much. My daughter was the complete opposite. At 12 weeks she slept through the night and never once fussed about her teeth.

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