Help on Getting 15 Month Old to Sleep in Own Bed

Hi C.!

Yep, it sounds like you need a new sleep routine. One for his naps, and another for bedtime. Not every baby goes right down to sleep, and if I had to guess, I would think your son is in the majority of fighting it :o)

He needs to be more active during the morning, then maybe go do any errands with you to 'soothe" him on the way home. Hopefully naps with be easier and the more comfortable he gets, the longer they should get.

Your bedtime routine, is probably the most important, because it sets the "stage" for his llittle young life and school. The earlier you start your bedtime, the better.

At his age, he really should be in bed by 7-7:30 to sleep almost 11-12 hours.

It takes ahwile to get him "on routine", but if you do things in the same order, then he will get it, and bedtime/nap will be easier. Even setting the microwave timer for certain things (to be done) so he hears a "beep".

When you are putting him down, LOVE HIM with gentle rubs, etc.... then say "oops! I forgot to do....I'll be right back"............then come back within 1-2 minutes to earn his trust that you are always right there for him. Then after soothing him with a couple more "pats", then "OH know! I forgot to ......" ....The first 3 nights and the first 3 times each night, you should return within 2 minutes. After that, you can stretch it out until 4ish.

I would always leave his door open, at least half-way. He will eventually fall asleep waiting & KNOWING you are coming back.

I hope this works for you. It worked/works for me. I'm at the point where I can go back in every 5-10 minutes now :o) It takes alot of effort on my part, as the mommy, but I don't want the tears for things like this. Doing it this way, at least he's in his own bed, and I'm not laying with him, and there are not any tears :o)

Good luck, C.!

~N. :o)

I agree w/the other responses....your son is probably over-tired & needs a consistent routine. Consistency is the absolute key here so you must stay strong. Develop a routine of say, stories & rocking before naps/bed & then put him in bed while he's awake but slightly drowsy. Leave & if you ear him cry, go back for a back rub but I suggest no talking to him or it may just stimulate him to stay awake. Also, every time, lengthen the amount of time before you go in & respond to him. Enlist Daddy's help, too. Both of our boys (8 & 3.5) always go to sleep w/music on. As babies they had what we called 'fishies,' that Fisher-Price music thing that hung on the side of the crib. They both loved those & have now progressed to either music or books on CD. Maybe your son would like some soft, soothing music while drifting off to lala land. But, as I said, earlier, consistency is the key.
Best of luck & Merry Christmas!

Stay consistent. The more you give in the harder it will be to get back on track. Kate B is likely on target about what's going on. If you've gone back to work, or if there's added stress to the family, your son will pick up on the changes and react to it in some way.

Actually he's overtired. Short naps are a clear indication of that to me, as well as trouble falling asleep. I'd concentrate first on getting the right nap time -- probably earlier than it is now. Typical time is between 12:30 and 1:30, but you may need to adjust depending on when he gets up in the morning. The bottom line is to get him down to nap when he's getting ready to be asleep, think of catching a wave like surfing. [I learned that in my favorite book -- Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, by Dr Marc Weissbluth.] Being overtired at night can also lead to what you are experiencing, trouble going down, increased agitation... I never heard of a chemical released when they cry, but there IS a chemical released in the brain to keep you up, basically if you are tired and ready to sleep but don't, the brain has to release a chemical to keep you up. So babies may be exhausted but the brain is cooking and he gets more upset, which makes it even harder... Bedtime may need to be played with as well (I've always been early with my kids: 6:30 when they were toddlers, now as preschoolers it's closer to 7:30), and bedtime routine should be less than 30 minutes, with the goal to lay him down in his crib when he's getting sleepy and can "ride the wave" into sleep. Good luck.

Hi C.,

I know how hard it is when your baby won't sleep and I feel for you! Our little one is also 15 months old and she has gone through phases of being a great sleeper and also of being a terrible sleeper. Right now she's sleeping really well (from 8:30 to 8:30 without waking, or maybe waking just once), but she has been very clingy this past week and acting strange in other ways. I think it's because of developmental changes at this age and also I think her molars are coming in. Maybe something similar is going on with your son? Sounds like there is some issue if he was a great sleeper and now isn't sleeping, and if he is crying in your arms. Take your time and see if you can figure out what's bothering him.

I disagree with what some of the other mothers have written -- I'm not a fan of letting your child cry it out. We were at our wit's end a few months ago and tried the Ferber and Weisbluth methods. Letting her cry actually "worked" after a few days for night time (though it was awful and I regret putting us all through that), but NEVER worked for naps. I tried for three weeks, thinking that if I was consistent and persistent that it would eventually work, like our friends and the books say. I finally had enough and decided to lie down with her for her naps instead of making us both suffer (I also breast fed her during the naps to soothe her). I know it seems extreme, but you might want to try that for a few days just to see if that will help. It really worked for us. You can always go back to trying another method. A few days of soothing might help and he won't develop any bad habits in such a short time.

I have to say, with sleep issues we've tried all kinds of different things. It seems to me that the different methods aren't what fixed the problems. There was always something going on, be it an illness, teething, jet-lag, some developmental milestone, and she found her way back to sleeping well on her own. I really regret making her cry even though we did it the way the books said and everyone told us it was okay and the right thing to do for her. I've found that when we've treated her with patience and love and understanding it has worked much better for all of us, and in hindsight I usually figured out why she wasn't sleeping well.

Anyway, those are just my two cents. Good luck! I know how hard it is. But don't think that you did anything wrong that caused him to stop sleeping well, babies go through phases. They are changing and growing so fast!

Hang in there!

H.

Hi C.,
If your baby is still crying even after you comfort him, he is crying for another reason. Could he have colic? My little one uesed to cry at 3.45 every morning and it was colic. We gave him Gripewater and it really helped. if that is not the problem. Whe you put him down at night stay with him for a while and then say, Mommy is going to have her tea(or something) snd will be back in 10 minutes. THen go back and if he is still awake tell him Hi and you were just checking to see if he was ok and then do the same thing again, This gives him security knowing you are coming back and he should start to settle. I also sing to my little one who is now 3 and a terrifc sleeper. Good luck, it will get better. I do not believe in letting them cry things out, I don't pick up right away, but theyr'e only little.and sometimes they just want to be held.
Y.

I agree 150% with Kate B. and also with the previous response of consistency. I am also a big fan of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. I echo Kate's points about him being overtired and sleep times. While it may take a little time and a very structured schedule for a little while, being consistent will get things on track for your little one. I know it's hard and the crying seems unending when you are trying to soothe your son, but better to deal with this situation now so he can get good solid sleep. It is worth the effort and will be such a benefit to him in the long run. All the best to you.

Let bhim cry it out and consistency is the key.