I have 2 year b/g twins. My son thinks that it is funny to hide in the third seat of the van or alude me when it is time to get out of the van. They are both buckled in their carseats however once we arrive at our destination and begin to prepare to get out he will play his version of 'mom catch me'. It makes drop off at preschool very difficult. Any suggestions??
Thanks for all of the advice. He did it yesterday morning and I spanked his bottom and then this morning I carried him to the van and did not allow him to do it and then unbuckled him first at preschool and escorted him out before he had the opportunity to unbuckle himself. He was not happy about it however I did not have to play catch. Thanks again for all of the great advice.
(pretend) to not know where he is, say I guess we'll have to go on without him. Then duck down beside the car, where he will think you have left, then when you think he is worried, show up, and be serious and tell him you were worried you had lost him, and to not EVER do that again it scares mommy, and I don't want to lose you.See if that helps.
Tell him you are leaving, he needs to come with you, and if he doesn't you'll see him later. Close and lock the doors and start to walk away. Be prepared to go out of his sight, but not too far away. It's like the Love and Logic theory. I do the same to my kids when they don't want to get dressed for school, ect. If they are not willing when the rest of us are, I will take them in their pj's, or whatever else. I have never had to take them in their pj's. I have never had to walk too far from my van either. Sounds like your son is loving the extra attention he recieves from the hiding, so don't give it to him! Good luck.
Shut the door and walk away - out of his sight, but with him in yours. When he's done with his melt down, let him out. One time should cure it.
Make sure that you don't leave your purse, lipstick, or other entertaining toys in the van - especially that day.
S.
I agree with what everyone else has said, but have another idea that might help. Give him a big important job like "door man" or similar. If he has a job like holding or closing the door. he might be motivated to head on out. You might also try a reward of some kind. Keep a pack of stickers in your purse or something easy like that. Good luck- my youngest was a parking lot runner and it was a very stressful phase!
When my daughter went through something similar I turned the game on her, playing lasso. I would throw the rope, maybe missing a couple of times, then I would have to pill and pull, but she would love to come to me finally. It takes the same amount of time, but if it is a game you both play at least it is positive time together and you save your sanity. Have fun and remember, the days are long but the years are short, enjoy them while they are little, the silliness is fleeting. <3
Hi S.,
I haven't read the other posts, so sorry if I'm duplicating anyone else's advice... I have the same struggle with my four year old. My five year old is more cooperative, so I always unbuckle her car seat first and let her cross over on the inside to where my four year old is still buckled in. Then she (the five year old) waits while I unbuckle my four year old. When I unbuckle my four year old, I always quickly hold her hand and escort her out of the car, so that she doesn't have an opportunity to run to the back of the car (which she will every single time without fail no matter the "consequence", and bribes never work for long w/ her...) Then my five year old follows her out. I like that I have them both getting out of the car on the same side, too, it's much safer this way. I hate to think of one of them jumping out of the car alone at the grocery store or mall or something, with the crazy divers that zoom in or out of parking spaces like they're in a race...I know moms who just open the doors and trust everyone will end up where their supposed to be safely... Anyway, so that's my way to have peaceful exits from the car, and it works like a charm. I do insist on cooperation in other areas of life, but to me, this is a battle I'd personally prefer to avoid since I usually have enough on my mind when we're out anyway. And I definitely wouldn't want to start my day with this frustration...(I'm preaching to the choir, I know! :)
Hope this helps you a little!
Good luck!
K.
My 2 year old does the same thing, getting into and out of our car...drives me a little crazy! I bought a book of stickers. Whenever I need to bribe my boys( I have a 4 year old too), I use these and they seem to work well. Instead of making a big deal about the one not getting in his seat, I make a HUGE deal about the one who did, giving a sticker and telling him how proud I am of him. This really does work and since yours are probably wanting to "win" too, it will be a good form of sibling rivalry.
Hope that helps!
Try giving him a consequence for his actions. Do this a few times and it won't be fun anymore.
C.
Stand at the opened door quietly without looking at him. Do it for however long it takes...it is amazing that kids find our reactions and responses so entertaining, LOL!
2 things to try... play the "first one out gets a piggy back ride" game. If that doesn't work I suggest ignoring him when he hides and leaving him in the van. Get your other child out and start a friendly conversation. Shut the van door and continue on into the daycare. When you get back (even if it's only 10 seconds later) I think he'll be ready to get out. Tell him simply that you didn't see him and thought he wasn't going then give him another chance to get out when you open the door.
Nanny 911 had a great tip the other night, she said the best punishment for a naughty child is to ignore them and focus tons of attention on the one behaving correctly. She says we tend to give all the attention to the child acting up and as soon as the attention is redirected to positive behavior the bad behaviors will change. It makes tons of sense and worked wonderfully on the family she was helping.
My 3 year old does this sometimes. I tell him I don't have time to play his game, and that I need to get into wherever it is we've just arrived at. Then I just say "Okay, I'm leaving...Bye" and act like I just might leave him there...this gets him out every time. This also works when I can't get him out of the play tunnels at McDonalds. Don't get me wrong, I believe in spanking, too...but you've got to catch him first ;-)
Can he get out of his carseat on his own? If not, just leave him in his carseat until you are ready to go inside, then unbuckle him and hold his hand until you get inside. Tell him that when he can act like a big boy and not hide, you will be able to treat him like a big boy. Praise his sister for being a big girl and waiting patiently for mommy to get stuff together. Praise him when he does stay where you put him. If none of that works or if he unbuckles himself, then some type of punishment is warranted. Disobedience is something I take seriously because if the child doesn't mind, something bad could happen to them, i.e. running away in a parking lot or getting lost in a busy place.
