How Many of You Have Left a Kid in the Car?

Yes, it happened to me once. My daughter was two months old, and we had just moved into a new house. My in-laws had come to see the new house, and I had to run out to Target to grab something. Initially, I was going to try to leave my daughter at home with my husband and in-laws, but because I was still breastfeeding, I decided to take her with me.

After I parked the car at Target, I started walking toward the store. I was thinking of how nice it was to get out and go shopping without carrying that heavy car seat carrier. For some reason (sleep deprivation and too many things on my mind), I was thinking that I hadn't decided to bring my daughter with me, and that she was at home with everyone else. I got halfway to the store when I realized that my daughter was still in the car! She wasn't even asleep. She was just being a quiet because the car ride had been so soothing for her.

Don't even get me started on the number of times I forgot to buckle my daughter into her car seat. (Too many times.) But I never made those mistakes with my other two kids.

I haven't, but I'm terribly OCD and a control freak. I'm not exaggerating. I'm actually diagnosed with OCD. If I ever forgot one of my children in the car, my therapist would consider it progress.

As a mom, no I've never forgotten. I have 3 kids who always slept in the car, and I still have never forgotten. I've not forgotten groceries either. I'm one of the most forgetful people I know too!

My #1 priority is my children. I never leave them in the car, running or not running. If I'm just getting home from the grocery store, the kids are the first out of the car and into the house. If I'm arriving at someones home with my children and have luggage to bring in, the kids are still the first out of the car. I guess I'm more paranoid than most parents because I won't ever leave my children unattended in a car...EVER! Running or not, it's just dangerous. They could get locked in, someone could car jack the car, or kidnap my children or...they could be forgotten. I wouldn't even leave my kids in the car to pick up one of my children from pre-school. If there was a line, I would not get out and walk up to the door. I'd wait at the end of the line and then drive right up to the door to get my kid. Other moms wold get out and walk to the door leaving siblings in the car and out of view...not me, never! I know many other parents who don't operate under this thought process, but I've never done it any other way....kids always out of the vehicle with me.

What makes me really sad is if it's grandma or grandpa taking the kids somewhere and they are not used to having little ones with them in the car and they forget. Or even in the case that just happened in TX, where dad was just going about his normal day and simply forgot...my heart breaks for them...a terrible accident that they have to live with forever :(

I haven't, but my husband's co-worker has! Mom usually did daycare drop-off, but dad did it one morning. The baby fell asleep and dad drove to work on "autopilot". Thankfully it was a cool fall day. Dad went to his morning meeting and BAM... phone rings. He sees that it's his wife on caller ID and gets up and sprints down the stairs to find the baby still sleeping in the car.

I guess the daycare center called the mother when they didn't show up that morning. Needless to say, he felt terrible. He's a really good parent and a responsible guy- just forgot. As a result, though, my husband and I either call or text one another when the kids are dropped off just as a "check". The shear terror on that guy's face was enough for my husband to know that he NEVER wanted to get that call from me!

*I'VE* never unintentionally left any of my kids in the car...but my best friend's family once left the baby on a PLANE. Four kids under the age of 5, a long flight across the world, lots of bags, two tired parents. As they entered the terminal, there was an announcement "Has anybody left their BABY on the plane?". Yep, sure did! They laugh about it now, 38 years later, but at the time it must have been quite mortifying.

At one point, I was talking on the phone, rolled down the window, kicked my feet up and lit a cigarette (years of multiple hour phone calls in cars to friends and families). Glance back and YOWZA! Baby is napping back there!! Cigarette out, flop-sweat started. Bad mom! Bad mom! Bad mom! I had KNOWN he was back there... That's why I was where I was, but 20 minutes into talking, my brain went on autopilot, and I completely forgot.

Another time I was so sick I forgot my son WASN'T with me. Total delirium in the hospital. The "My baby!!! Where's my baby?!?" I got so frantic I ran out into traffic.

And let's not even start about the time my son 'ran at' his window screen to see if it would support his weight.

'Blame' is a psychological defense mechanism (YOU slipped because you're careless/clumsy, *I* slipped because of the Icy patch. YOUR child got hurt because you weren't paying attention, MY child got hurt 3 feet away from me because _______. YOUR husband left you because you weren't doing _______, but I do ________ so my husband won't leave me.)

Since learning about this principle years ago, and seeing how TRUE it is... When I find myself blaming someone I try to just repeat:

There, but for the grace of god, go I.

I never forgot a child in the car. I did leave one at the airport one time. My wife brought the kids to greet me at the airport. Some of the kids wanted to drive home with me and some wanted to drive home with my wife. One son changed his mind and asked to go with his mom. I said "Ok, but hurry up and catch her." Well, he didn't hurry fast enough. This was before small, portable cell phones. When we got home, about 45 minutes later, I counted and saw we were minus 1. I asked my wife if she brought Bobby and she said no, I thought you had him. I was headed out the door to go back to the airport when airport police called and asked if I was missing a child. My wife answered the phone and told them that I was on my way to the airport to find him. We gathered up seven kids and headed back to the airport.

They were going to charge me with child abondonment until they saw all 8 kids together and we told them what happened. Then all I had to do was sign a receipt for him. This is now over 25 years ago and the only reason I can still remember it and all the details is because it was such a tramatic incedent for me.

I feel for the parents that accidently leave their kids in the car or at the store or anyplace else. I once "found" an extra kid. I had a big family and they had a big family and one of their kids attached herself to one of my girls of the same age. The two girls had a wonderful time talking and showing off dolls, but we parents didn't. I went to the store front desk and had them announce a "found girl" and mom came with all hers in tow to "collect" her lost child. The store manager's jaw dropped when he saw all the kids, my 8 and her 6.

Good luck to you and yours.

I haven't personally done it, but I'm always amazed it doesn't happen more often as well. Especially with mommy-brain, disctracted dads, hectic situations etc. I'm usually alone with my three, therefore, I'm used to the routine, not distracted, etc. I always hate people chiming in after tragic news stories on their high horses all like "WHO could EVER do such a thing??" Puh-leez, I'm surprised I haven't done it.

I haven't...but I can totally see how it can happen. In fact it happened to my son about three months ago. We had family in town and he wanted to ride with them, so we gave them his booster and off they went. They later returned to the house. We were all inside (four different cars full of people)...and I noticed I hadn't heard my son in about 10 to 15 minutes, very strange.

I asked my cousin where he was and she said oh, he came in with us...and we started looking...they had left him locked in the car, buckled in, in the hot Texas sun for about 10 to 15 minutes at that point. Yes, he was 7 and they just expected him to follow them out of the car. He was playing a hand held video game and was still playing it when we got the doors open and pulled him out. He was the color of a tomato, drenched in sweat (dripping wet) and I was concerned we needed to take him to the emergency room. If it has been another ten minutes he would have needed the hospital, or worse it was 100 degrees that day. These are full grown adults with kids of their own and a 7 year old who can unbuckle himself (he may or may not have been able to figure out the locks on their doors...but he could have honked the horn)...they assumed and my son has a power of concentration when engrossed in something.

I HAVE left a newborn unbuckled in the car seat until the first rear view mirror check when my heart would stop becasue they had slipped down in the seat. That was my second and after taking her out to feed would just lay her back in the carrier...and by the time I wrangled the 2.5 year old into the car, put the carrier in and put the groceries or stroller in the trunk...when I would forget that she was unbuckled. After the second time this happened I always buckled her back in the second I put her back in the carrier...even if we were staying some place a while.

My heart always goes out to these parents becasue truly there for the grace of God goes I...I know we are all capable of having a horrible accident happen...

One of my close friends left her sleeping toddler in the car until her husband got home and asked where she was...she was fine never woke up...but my friend couldn't sleep for weeks she was so freaked out. Mom was in a hurry the toddler was suppose to be with daddy (daddy changed his mind last minute and buckled toddler in to go with mom)...it happened, without tragic results...but it happened...

I pray it never happens to anyone again...my heart aches for these parents!!

Came home from a fall soccer game, daughter able to unbuckle herself. Son sits on husbands side and he would get out, open sons door unbuckle(He could never get the five harness unbuckled himself) and son would get out go inside.

Sis and I were inside goofing around and I said "Where's bub?"..."don't know maybe the bathroom"..

Go check, nope. Check his room, nope, check basement nope...start freaking out! Yelling "bubbie? bubbie?"...

Husband comes in says I thought he was in his room..."NO HE IS NOT! Did you unbuckle him?"..."I thought I did"...

Run to drive way. There he is all buckled up and playing with his cars. "Mom Dad forgot to unbuckle me!".

15 minutes! It happens...but yes a light bulb goes off and we were lucky (no excessive heat, or cold)...now I make sure I'm the last one in the garage and "car check" as well.

ETA: we have done the whole left kid unbuckled driving down the highway and my husband says "What was that?"..."What?"..."I don't think she's buckled"...I turn to see two little brown eyes peaking up over the carseat "hi mommy".

I haven't, J.. But I'm not surprised that others have, especially if the child is asleep.

Like I said in the other thread, I would put my pocketbook in the back seat. I wouldn't forget that because I always put my keys in my pocketbook, so that made me look in the backseat.

Dawn

No, not accidentally. I had two spirited kids who were noisy and used to do things like take their shoes off and throw them up front at me. I would NEVER forget they were there. However, I did leave a sleeping baby/toddler in a vehicle in safe conditions and checking on them frequently because I knew they would wake up if I tried to transfer them. Once, I somehow accidentally locked a sleeping baby in the van (with those automatic door locks) and my husband had to come home from work to unlock it. Thankfully, the baby stayed asleep the entire time and it wasn't hot, etc. or I would've broken a window to get him out.

I only have one so I didn't although even with only one when I was suffering from a reflux baby and no sleep for 2 days straight (i can fall asleep standing after 12 hours without sleep so this was an adjustment o say the least) I could definitely see it.
I absolutely HATE (i dont actually hate anyone but it annoys M.) the judgemental people that actually have the audactiy to say "I'd NEVER do that! They are horrible parents!"; in regards to parents who have and they didnt survive. Seriously, how would you know unless you had their day, their memory, thier kids????
Never judge for ye has not lived thier life and suffered their tragedy (i really wanted to say ye...did it flow?=) )

My husband did with our first in the hospital. We were walking with her, pushing her bassinet and I started having a rash, which was a reaction to some meds. He was so concerned about me we just left her and walked back to the room. The nurse pushed the bassinet in and said "did you forget something"? Ah, yeah, the BABY!!! I felt so stupid. That's the only time. =)

I havent done it yet (knock on wood) but there have been several times when I have been in a mad rush and driving for 5 minutes and I actually panic wondering if I have them all!!
I was in such a rush I didnt even remember putting them in the car! Oy.
Thank God its always been an accurate head count. :)

I never have. But - I for the first year of his life I was convinced I would leave him somewhere. I was so paranoid I would just leave the house one day, like I always had, never remembering I had a kid. Or leave him in the car seat. It would be so easy to not notice a rear facing baby. And even front facing - my rear view mirror does NOT see the car seat. I have to turn all the way around to see him. I am AMAZED tragedies like yesterday's are as rare as they are. And no parent who has had this happen needs my judgement. I cannot even imagine the grief and guilt they must experience.

GREAT idea of Dawn's to put your bag in the back seat. Then you have to look.

I have been to parties at restaurants where children and elderly people have been left - each party assumed the other was taking them home.

ETA: @Bug - the point is not that your handbag is more important than your child. It is that you go to put your keys in your bag when you get out of the car. It is HABIT - I have done it for almost 30 years. So I ALWAYS take my bag out of the car because otherwise - there are these stupid keys still in my hand. And I will think.

I'll admit it. It happened to me at home, much like you described in your post. The youngest fell asleep, the oldest was busy the 2nd he was unbuckled, and there were frozen things that needed to stay frozen and be brought in from the car & put in the freezer ASAP.

Why not let the little one sleep a few seconds while I put away the frozen stuff... then, once the frozen stuff is put away... older one spills something, etc etc etc...
I remembered after about 5 minutes when she woke up and cried. Good for me that I left the car and garage/laundry room doors open so I was able to hear her. See, I even forgot I'd left the doors open.
Yes, it happens. And yes, it is an accident.

I can't say that I have walked away from the car without realizing a kid was still in it... but I have done so thinking I'd be back in 30 seconds, only to have one kid distract me into forgetting, or me just plain forgetting after seeing something inside that distracted me.

It is a tragedy when it happens somewhere that nobody notices and the car is closed up.
So sad.

To date I've never done this. I get out and get my son out. I ask him to help with a loaf of bread and make sure we're inside and I open all the windows in the house for the pets and then go get the groceries.
But then again, I only have my one child. Maybe this makes it easier, I don't know.
I have read too many stories of this, that ended badly. Maybe that put a scare in me.
If things were more hectic, maybe this would happen to me.

my husband did just a couple weeks ago...

He went grocery shopping with four of the kids. He got out and started unloading the groceries from the back and was in the house unpacking the bags and after a few minutes he asked one of the older boys where Josyah was, when they answered I don't know.. he ran out and sure enough he was still buckled in his car seat. Josyah looked at him and said I can't believe you left me, my husband felt so bad ( so did his big brothers)!!

But that just shows how easy it is for it to happen... when ever the older boys ( 12, 13,16) are with us they will let the little ones out. Well one got out the 4yr old and thought the other brother was getting Josyah (5) out... the other thought that his brother was getting both of the little ones out... but there sat Josyah and nobody got him out until about 5-10 mins later :(

There has been many times that when I get to where I was going and I get out and open the back door and my heart stops when I see they aren't in the car... then I remember they didn't come with. Or going down the road and look in the mirror and see an empty car seat.. there has been a few times I have been flipped off and called colorful words from the person behind me when I slam on the breaks and quickly pull over before realizing again they weren't coming with me to begin with...

For as easy as it is to forget they weren't coming with me in the first place it could be just as easy to forget them in the car... sadly.

Nope - never left my kids in the car by mistake (of course, I only have two, and they're the same age).

I *have*, however, left groceries in the car multiple times, only to come back out later and realize the milk is spoiled or the frozen stuff is now warm.

I haven't done this BUT I remember feeling like I did...then I realize the kids are at school. ;)

Groceries, killed many times. Ice cream has been forgotten. oops. I left my son in the car one time. But I was right there so not a matter of being totally gone but I felt absolutely HORRIBLE. We had gone to the store and I was trying to get stuff out while one of my girls was getting something. She was supposed to come back to get the groceries and other stuff. I put the stuff on the stairs and my 4 yr old came to help. Then I had to tell my husband something right away and this kid from the next block started causing problems. Then I was standing there thinking, wait a minute, where is he? OMG. I ran to get him. The poor thing was crying. I am so glad it was not a hot day and I had not gone into the house. I was maybe 20 feet away but still felt totally horrible--worst mommy award.

Otherwise I am paranoid that I would leave a kid behind or forget to get them out so I am always double checking that everyone is present and no one is left in the car.

I have never done it. I guess I have never been that busy to forget my child even if she was asleep. Or maybe because I only have one who knows? I have forgotten my cell phone or purse now and then but never a human being or pet.

My mom once accidentally left a baby at home while we ran errands. She had 5 kids and was quite frazzled. I remember driving from the bank to the dentist and the lightbulb going off in her head like, "oooooh #$^#!" Whoops, left the baby at home in his car seat.

I haven't left a kid in a car but I have neglected to do up a seatbelt. Ugh, that is the worst feeling. I have 3 kids and sometimes when they were younger, they would accidentally undo the seat belt that ran through the car seat, instead of their own. One time I had to stop short and the car seat flew forward and wedged between the front seats. I felt so awful!

I've never forgotten a child in the car. But there but for the Grace of God go I.

No, never left my kid(s) in the car. However, I have driven all the way to work with my kid in the car instead of turning into his preschool. Looked back at him and said "Uh oh! Mommy forgot to drop you off!" Went across the street & dropped him off. Was tired and distracted. Would like to think it would never EVER happen to me. That how on Earth could I ever forget something as precious as my child. Thankfully I realized immediately I didn't turn into his school. But...what if he'd been sleeping and it didn't dawn on me I was in the wrong parking lot? **shudder**

I have never done it with either son. I actually get quite baffled by those who have. My oldest was a very quiet baby but I still never forgot him. My second well he didn't hit the quiet stage til he was about 15 months old so there was no way he could have been left in a car.
My husband is extremely forgetful and he hasn't done it.

Nope, I've never left either of my girls in the car....but the thought has crossed my mind on occasion when my 6 y/o starts acting snippy ;D

I could easily see how it could happen especially if one parent is the one that usually takes the child and that day their routine changed. Especially if the child has fallen asleep. My heart breaks for the parents :(

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

No, I can honestly say I've never left a child in the car.

However, I did forget while riding on a long trip, for a split second, that my baby was in the back seat!! I was just bee-bopping along, singing to the music, talking to my husband when I heard a noise in the back seat - I look back - Hey, that was my baby making that noise!! It was funny at the moment!!

I've never left a kid in the car. The house is a different story.

I've gathered up all the stuff needed for a trip out. The plan was to put stuff in the car, then go get the baby. Instead, I just got in and started to drive away. I only got a block or so away before I realized it. Since it was too quiet in the car. My daughter hated car rides & always screamed.

I know for a fact that if I had more then one child, it would have happened for that split second. Especially if I was busy or thinking about something else I had to do. I only have one, so, for me, I never had that problem. The only thing that happened where my son was inside a car was when I was getting to leave my In-laws house and my car OUTSIDE locked by itself with my son in it! I put him in first with the car running because it was snowing and freezing outside. I went to grab the last bag, and for some reason my car locked. Luckily we had someone come right away and unlock my car, but after that I never keep all my doors locked. I always have one open just in case!

No. I have a spirited child who makes himself very hard to forget!

I have three and NEVER NEVER NEVER have I ever left my child or forgot. NEVER

Never, Never Never. I have a system that works for me where I check always before I leave the car or go anywhere.My heart breaks for the ones who are left behind.

I AM the mother of multiples, I have twins, and I also have a singleton. And I have NEVER left, or almost left, any of my three kids behind, EVER. EVER. NEVER. I can't imagine ever being distracted/busy enough to not notice I don't have all of my kids with me.

Updated

I AM the mother of multiples, I have twins, and I also have a singleton. And I have NEVER left, or almost left, any of my three kids behind, EVER. EVER. NEVER. I can't imagine ever being distracted/busy enough to not notice I don't have all of my kids with me.

as a mother of two the oldest age 4, honest truth- never. Maybe living is So Cal makes it unthinkable.

No, I haven't. And, I STILL can't understand how someone could. Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying forgetting a child and death...is OK if you happen to have more then one? Or, less bad? More excusable? I am still horrified by the idea, that people place an object by their child, so they don't forget their actual child. How on earth can you remember a meaningless object, but not your child? Why shouldn't we blame the parent? A child is dead, because they forgot! Is it not their fault? The child didn't decide to sit and bake.

Sorry J., I just can't be converted on this one. No matter how many people say "It could happen to anyone." I don't buy it. And, yes...I do still think when parents neglect to remember their child, and their child dies as a result...they should be charged with neglect. If I "forgot" my child in the backyard and he died from the heat, the same people would want me to be charged. A car should not be excusable when every other place is not. Children are dying, we can't make excuses for that. Not in my opinion, at least. Glad it takes all kinds to make the world go round. I know my opinion is not fact.

I don't know, this whole thread and line of questions, saddens me deeper than most things.

I've never left my daughter in the car, but I see how it could easily happen, especially if you deviate from your normal routine. My daughter hated riding in the car when she was younger. She used to cry and scream if she was in her carseat for more than 10-15 minutes. She NEVER fell asleep in the car. There was absolutely no way you could ever forget that she was in the car with you. I used to have to pull over repeatedly to secure her because she was always loosening her harness and trying to climb out.

I have 2 kids and have never left them in the car