Help with 6 Year Old Getting up a Lot at Night

My 4 year old was getting up a lot a few months ago. We started letting him keep his desk lamp on because the "monsters" were still around if it was just the little night light. Then, after he fell asleep we would turn off the desk lamp and just leave his night light on (so his sleep wasn't disturbed). We also used an incentive system. We have a regular calendar on the wall in his room. In the morning he could draw himself a smiley face for the previous day IF he didn't get up (except for an emergency or bathroom, of course). If he had 5 or more smiles he got a special treat that week -- discussed ahead of time and usually chosen by him from maybe three choices. Guess how many weeks he missed earning his prize? NOT ONE! His behavior was controlled so quickly by his own willpower. Also, we only had to use the chart for about 5-6 weeks and then he started to forget to do it and it gradually faded from use because the new behavior wasn't a big deal anymore to him.
Just a note about sleeping with him -- we did this a bunch of times out of desperation, and it did nothing in the long run to solve the problem. All it did was disturb everyone's sleep and make him less motivated to make it through the night. What kid wouldn't love the special time in bed with mom and dad? I know it's hard, but everyone involved will sleep better (in my opinion -- I'm not a co-sleeper mom, as you can tell) when your daughter gains that independence.
Good luck!

My son did this for a while. Instead of sleeping in his bed I sat in the room and read a book while he fell asleep. I did not talk to him I just sat there. After I few days I moved the chair furthar away until I was in the hall way. Then I moved to the stairs (with out the chair). Now I dont have to be in the room at all. What worked for my family may not work for yours. But it is worth a try.

I had the same problem with my son. Come to find out, he had sleep apnea. Just something to get checked out. He had his tonsils out and problem solved.

This is something that I started with my daughter when she was a bit younger but it could work for you- or worth a try. Books on tape, on repeat, all night. There are some good childrens books that are quietly spoken and not too exciting that give the feeling of comfort and company in the room. We did a LOT of Little Bear on tape, and then as my daughter got older moved onto Mary Poppins, Cricket in Times Square,etc.
As she got older I was able to explain to her that the books on cd were a treat for her but if she was up and about all night she wouldn't be able to have them. Mind you mine didn't have any real fear going on, sometimes she would make up something weird as an excuse, but really she just wanted to be up and about. I don't know what your daughter is afraid of, but sometimes changing the situation can help make a transition- maybe re-arrange the furniture in the room with her, add some snuggly pillows in the bed to make it almost like a fort?
I also started letting my daughter read in bed around that age, after I read to her for a bit, and that helped her learn how to fall asleep on her own.
Good luck, lack of sleep can be so frustrating!

I have a couple of suggestions. Firstly, does your daugheter have a nightlight? If not, you may want to consider getting her one, I know my daugheter, who is 7, will not go to bed without one. Also, you said she started kindergarten, and you guys recently moved. Maybe you could let her sleep in your room when she is scared. Even if it is for part of the night, it may help to calm her, and at least you can get some sleep. If you don't want to allow that, perhaps you can tell her to lie down, and climb in bed next to her for a little while, until she falls asleep. Also try talking to her. Maybe it is soemthing specific that scares her. I know when I was about htat age, my room had three windows and faced a busy street. wehnever a car would pass outside, the lights would shine through the three windows,and circl my room. I thought they were three ghosts, and it used to scare me to no end. There may be something simple like that that is scaring her. it could be a sound she can't explain, or shadows, a tree moving outside. Maybe someone told her the house was haunted or something stupid like that. ( a kid in the neighbourhood told my girl who was 6 at the time that exact thing. She was scared until I told her it wasnt true)Anyway, I hope this helped, and good luck.

Liz

When my daughter said she was scared I stayed in bed with her for about 20 minutes at bedtime and we identified everything that she didn't understand. The shadows, the rain in the gutters, etc. She has a night light, at Christmastime she has twinkle lights, and a magic bunny.

About the magic bunny, one night I was so desperate for sleep and she was afraid of having a nightmare. I acted surprised and happy and said "Oh wait! I have just the thing." I had no idea what i was talking about, but I went into my jewlry box and found a small jade bunny figurine that my dad had given me when I was younger. I brought it to her and told her that her grandfather gave it to me because it is magic and he keeps bad dreams away. The magic bunny needs hugs and kisses to help fuel his powers. So every night we hug and kiss the bunny and she sleeps well. She has had a nightmare a few times since we instituted this but we just made sure to give the bunny extra hugs & kisses again.

My daughter is very bright and very stubborn and it still amazes me that this works. She will be 6 in April.

I hope you both get some sleep!

A.

Hi, my boyfriend and i had the same problem with our daughter when she was 4. We just moved into a new home and she was terrified of sleeping in her room, even if we slept in there with her. One night while i was in there with her i heard a weird noise...kinda creeped me out too. I found out it was the wind going through the roof vent on the garage. We switched her room and haven't had a problem since. My advice to you is find out if there is something about the room she is in that is scaring her

In general i haven't had much trouble getting my daughter to bed, she turned 6 in Nov. BUT, there are some nights that she claims to be afraid, and she comes and gets me 3 or 4 times. It sounds like there has been a lot going on in her little life, but kids bounce back fast and I don't think they worry nearly half as much as we do. Probably the fact that you do respond every time is whats keeping her doing it. I noticed that when I didn't respond, she went back to sleep. I do feel bad when she says she is scared, but she is a smart little girl and if I respond in a nice way, she doesn't see the problem with it. If I respond in a way such as, youre misbehaving right now by not going to bed, then she sees that she is doing something wrong. OR, I just sick my boyfriend on her! The male voice does wonders!! I would definitely talk to her about it during the day and see whats going on with her. Maybe give her a book to read with some headphones, my daughter loves going to sleep to music. She did have a tv in her room for a while, but then she was up too late. Maybe re-arrange her room, or add something new and comforting, so she understands that her room is a safe place, nothing to be scared of. I hope something I said helps. Nothing is more frustrating than that situation, for everyone.

Hi C.,
You sure have had a lot of changes in life. I think the key may be finding a new getting ready for bed routine that will work for all of you. A snack, a maybe a book or a calm video in the living room, toothbrushing, and another book in bed maybe 30 minutes before really having it be bedtime. Music playing, or white noise machine.... the sounds of the new house may not be as soothing as your old house. Perhaps the night light is casting a shadow over something making it look scary. You may just need to start slowly with the whole -what it sounds and looks like at night for her. I know that you don't want to get stuck doing another habit that you'll have to break her of ( sleeping with you at night). Patience..... :)
Good luck to all of you!
C.-mom to 4 1/2 yr old twins. (we just split them up over the summer in separate rooms)