Help with Postpartum Depression

Hey J.,
So sorry that you are feeling like this right know. I think I am going through something very similar but it does feel better that you are not alone, and I believe it will go away on it's own. Good thing that you are going to the doc's, they will help you and give advice on what to do or give you some type of meds. I hope yoy feel better after seeing the doc, and keep me posted.

J., what you are feeling sounds like the very normal, very painful feelings of post-partum depression I dealt with after the birth of both of my children. It also sounds so much like many of the moms I've known.
The fact that you are already so aware and so educated about post-partum depression is the most important step in getting better... and you WILL. So much of this is still about the hormones, the lack of sleep, the fear of the normal baby stuff. I think the best thing you could have done is see your doctor. Do not be afraid to lean on someone else for a while. You can find lots of support groups and other support materials online. I suggest checking out Yahoo groups to see what's available there. You don't have to be alone. I hope you start to feel some relief soon. Good luck and best wishes.

Dear J.,
I too had postpartum depression. I had a terrible labor (33 hours, most of which was natural) and terrible delivery which ended in an emergency c-section by a doctor I never met before. Even though I had a great support system with a super husband, family, church and friends, I still felt crippled with despair. I couldn't eat or sleep. I lost my pregnancy weight well before my 6 week check-up. I couldn't relax or nap even if someone else I trusted was watching my son. My son was up constantly and as soon as the sun would go down, my son got worse. My depression would deepen when I saw the clock showed 5 pm because I knew it would be another horrible night. I was seriously contemplating putting my son up for adoption. I felt like a failure and I thought I would have to move far away from the shame. I followed all the advice my midwife gave including increasing B-vitamins, certain herbs and getting rest, etc. I was so devestated by the depression that I asked the OB when I had my surgical staples out to give my something for the depression. He gave my Prozac which is supposedly very effective for hormonally based depression. I felt so much better in 2 weeks that it felt like a miracle!!! When I started to feel back to "normal" (which you know is silly because nothing feels normal when you have a newborn) it was around the time that Tom Cruise was bashing psych drugs on the Today Show. I watched it and it made me burst into tears because I felt stupid and I was still fragile from the whole thing. You will probably get a lot of advice saying "baby blues" is normal and will go away on its own. It probably will but I just wanted to tell you medication worked for me !! I also saw a psychiatrist who gave me a few sleeping pills called Sonata. These are very short acting so you won't sleep through your baby's feedings but help you actually get to sleep. You will feel better soon!!Good luck!!!! K.

J., hope things went well at the dr today. I too had ppd after my son was born, but waited till he was 4 mos old before I sought help. I really didn't recognize what was wrong with me. It's so important that you recognize the signs and seek help now. Yes, it's very hard to admit how you are feeling and ask for help, but you do need to do it in order to start feeling better. I was put on meds too. It took a while for them to start working and I needed a dose adjustment, but I feel like they did save my life. I hate to say it, but feel I have to, due to my experience: If your ob doesn't "take you seriously", or if you aren't feeling better in a few weeks, then go back and tell him/her, and/or go to your regular dr, talk to your kid's peditrician, call your ins company for a referal, basically, keep seeking help if you need it, until you feel better. Take all the help that is offered to you (babysitting, meals, help around the house, etc.) Don't fall into the ridiculous notion that you have to or should be able to handle everything all on your own. I also think a support group would be a great place to share stuff with others that can understand what you're going thru, I remember it was so hard to try to describe what I was feeling to my husband, to my mom. There is life on the other side of this.

Good that you've made that appointment. Now keep it, even though it takes courage to ask for this kind of help you will be much better off in the long run. Help is there, and it works. It is also worth bringing someone close to you along to the appointment if that is possible. Especially if your partner sings like a canary, because some bit of information might be left out if you go it alone.

Jodi, this is a very difficult time for you. You're not feeling like yourself right now and you most likely feel guilty for not being able to meet the baby's needs the way you had expected. There are some links that might help at http://www.llli.org/NB/NBdepression.html and http://www.kellymom.com/pantley/pantley24.html

For adjusting baby's time clock, try feeding more frequently during the day, even if it means waking baby every 2 hours. When baby wakes during the night, feed and soothe as needed, but keep the lights off and no stimulation such as music or TV. Dont give him any reasons to be awake. It might take a little time, but eventually he will learn that all the action is during the day time and he'll adjust.

It might help to join a group of moms to talk to as well. If you're breastfeeding, there are a few La Leche League meetings in your area where you can talk to other bf moms. http://www.lllusa.org/FL/web/TampaFL.html You might want to check what the hospitals offer too. Morton Plant in Clearwater has a group for Baby Blues. Maybe there's one like that near you. Just knowing you're not alone in this can help a lot.

You may want to join an online group to talk to others who have gone thru this...one really great one is Mommies Relax Time... http://www.setbb.com/mommiestime/ It can help to talk about it and know you are not alone! And sometimes, meds can help too...depending on how bad you are feeling...Im glad you will be seeing your doctor...be sure to tell them everything...how you are feeling...what may be going on with you or your family/friends...everything...they can help you... *HUGZ*

Hi, J.. How did your doctor appointment go? I, too, suffered with severe postpartum depression. My symptoms were the same as yours in the beginning, but gradually grew worse until my husband became very concerned and encouraged me to talk with my doctor about it. Doing so was the best thing I ever did for myself --- and for my children. You are on the right road. Keep your chin up, seek out and accept support from those who have been there, and realize it is perfectly okay if you need medication to get you through the first few months. It does get better.

Dear J.,

I see you have received several responses to your request. I have some advise for you.

1. Take a walk with both kids for 20 minutes. Just a liesurly walk so that you get outside everyday.

2. Get yourself a calcium-magnesium drink. It is called CALM and is sold at the health food store. Very few people know that severe stress (birth) will cause wild fluctuations physically and the calcium/magnesium are essential nutrients that REALLY HELP.

3. There are natural solutions for anxiety; B vitamins, chamomile tea, St. Johns Wort, minerals, to name a few.

4. Babies, especially new ones - there is nothing more stressful. I know exactly how you feel. It is taking each moment one moment at a time, and somehow doing what you need to do for yourself. First rule is try to sleep when the baby sleeps. Even if you do not sleep, just lie down and rest. No TV, no music, nothing. Give yourself a quiet time to relax.

5. Eat small healthy snacks of protein. One egg, a hot dog, canned chili. Anything that you can just eat a couple of bites every couple of hours and drink lots of water inbetween. An apple, anything. Have you ever been starved, could not get to some food, and finally the hunger goes away and then you are no longer hungry at all? This is when you eat just a small amount to get the signals back in place.

So, remember; rest when the baby rests. even if you don't sleep. Take a walk every day at least once. Eat or nosh every couple of hours even if it is a small maount. Drink water. Get yourself CALM or some calcium/magnesium or other supplement that is known to help anxiety. Take some multi-vitamins.

I sincerely hope you find this helpful to you.

D.

Man, do I remember those feelings! My eyes are tearing up just remembering it. I had my baby on my own and I had the same issues you are having. Please know that it gets so much better. It's definately a good idea to go see your doctor. I know a lot of people may say negative things about antidepresants, but if thay've never had our problems, they don't know squat. Those meds have been developed to help us and boy do they work. Just remember that not all meds are the same and they do take a couple weeks to really kick in. I had to switch my meds once in the beginning and once just recently to get it right.

As your baby gets older, he will get on a better sleep schedule. When he wakes up at night, keep the lights off and keep any stimultion to a minimum. My daughter was six weeks old before she realized that night time is sleep time. Those days seem so long ago, but they went by so fast. Before you know it, you'll be bragging to your friends that your baby sleeps the whole night through. Good luck and let me know if you need to talk.

L.