Help with Potty Training Almost 2 Year Old

Updated on August 20, 2009
S.O. asks from Reno, NV
23 answers

Hi moms! So, my daughter is 23 months and I have spent the last month or so preparing for potty training. I read "Potty Training in Less Than A Day" and another book. I was mentally prepared (so I thought) and really felt that my daughter was ready. I trained all this morning (from 7:30 until nap time 12:30). The book I followed had me train her first with a doll that wet itself. She absolutely loved this part and was very excited and involved. When it came time to sit on the potty herself, she absolutely refused. I tried continuously throughout the morning, but didn't push too hard. She had 3 accidents, 2 of which occurred in the bathroom. My question is, do I continue PT? I don't want to push her too hard to where she hates the toilet, but I also feel we made SOME progress. She told me all 3 times that she went pee-pee, she just wasn't on the potty. I had high hopes of having her PT before Baby #2 arrives in October. Part of me wants to continue tonight and the next few days (I had planned on PT this entire week), but if she isn't ready then I don't know if I should push it. Any suggestions, ideas, tips, etc. would be greatly appreciated.

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J.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

She's too young. Just wait until #2 is born and she's adjusted to that and is more emotionally ready. Maybe you've already gotten this advice, but if not, there you go! Good luck.

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J.R.

answers from Honolulu on

One thing that may help is to let her see you go "potty" on the toilet and ask her if she can do that. Actually, why not make it a competition. Or bet her that she can't do it. I find whatever I tell my kids they can't do, they try their utmost to prove that they can.

Make her feel like a big girl everytime she does it.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Keep it simple and make it fun.

*Start with books about the subject. My son loves, 'Yes, Potty No, Potty' and 'A Potty for Me' and a few others that we have in the bathroom and in his room.

*DVD's that illustrate the process are great too!

*Talk about potty and using the potty.

*Let her come with you into the potty, and have her sit on the potty chair.

*Take her to the store and buy her undies that are pretty and cute. Let her where them at home and practice being wet.

*Try doing Potty Checks every 30 minutes or so. At my son's preschool they do this and it helps get them in the groove of knowing when they have to go.

*Think about rewards. We didn't do rewards for pee, but for poop we're doing stickers for when he makes it there and little toys for when we actually poop in the potty.

*Repitition and example...I tried never to call it training, but we used the word 'learning' and it made a difference about how I thought about it too.

Remember this is NEW. It's a NEW thing to have to put her pee and poop in the potty, since she's been used to using the diaper and has to learn where it should go. Just take a deep breath and a few days and then try again.

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J.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

Keep with it .. My son took 3 days . I suggest giving a treat every time she sits on the potty( if sitting on the potty is the issue) Also keep her nude from waist down so you can rush her to bathroom when she starts to go . When she DOES do it in the Potty make a BIG DEAL . Don't expect her to go through naps or sleep times dry either . That takes alot of training and the ability to wake up and go to the bathroom . My boy was totally PT ( except sleep ) at 23 months .

They didn't make size 4 , 5 and 6 diapers 15 years ago ..so am I to understand that our children are deevolving when it comes to controlling bodily functions ? All kids were potty trained before 3 y/o . My mother claims that almost all my playmates and children she cared for ( she ran a daycare back then) were potty trained before 2.5 , most by 1.5 . I think parents are getting too lax and it's showing up with potty training as well..but I'm sure Huggies , Pampers and Luv's are EXTATIC about this developing trend of delaying potty training .

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

For the first 4 days, only catch the morning pee. She sits their until she goes. You can't hold it forever. Put the potty in front of the tv and breakfast will be when she goes. After she goes talk to her about how her tummy felt before (full) and how it feels after (ahhhhh. empty)Tell her that she needs to listen to her tummy it tells her when she is hungry and when she needs to find a bathroom. After about 4 days she has learned to sit and go fast so she can get up. She has learned how to release and hold. Then put on the big girl panties and never go back, keep the little potty out where she plays or watches tv. So it is not a chore to go. After a week move the potty coser to the bathroom another few days closer or in to the bathroom. She is still really small so you will have to reminder to try even though she doesn't have to go. Especially if you are going to town or someplace. Don't use pull-ups unless you are taking long trips like an hour away. Remember most people have to pee about a hour after they eat or drink.

good luck. J.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

I say, she needs to feel like she is in control. Actually, she IS in control. There are 3 things kids have control over: Eating, talking and using the bathroom. You have only peripheral influence on these things. SO, my advice... Read the books with her, take opportunities to show her other kids her age not wearing diapers and using the potty, involve her when you use the potty and say stuff like "I always wipe, flush and wash hands to keep my body clean and healthy..." etc. Take her shopping and pick out the most awesome panties that are her very favorite. Then wash the panties and place them in her drawer where she can reach them. Tell her when SHE is ready to use the potty, she can choose to wear her panties instead of a diaper. Then just keep reinforcing that it is her choice to try. When she is ready, I am serious, it will take her five minutes to be potty trained.

My daughter is a bit of a control freak, and we had issues (with lots of things) until I told her that it was up to her to make the choice. She is now seven, and I am continuing to work with her on making good choices.

Good luck, and don't stress too much about having her potty trained before #2 - Actually, especially with a newborn, it is SOOOOOO much easier to just let her go in the diaper and change it when you get a moment, because when a 2 year old has to go, they have to GO NOW!!!! and it is not that easy to stop nursing and run to the potty in time!

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B.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am trying to potty train my son as well (he will be 2 next week). I have found that kids actually telling you that they have gone pee, even if in their diaper/pull up/panties its a step in the right direction. My son doesn't have much interest yet I continue to try however not push. He is starting to think that it is fun which I think is good. A book can give you suggestions but only you know your child. I say... keep up the good work and see what happens.

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T.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Children want to please their parents... and your daughter wants to please you.

Just try again, gently.

don't make an issue of it.

be patient and remember that she will get the hang of it eventually. Be patient and don't expect everything all at once. everything happens in its time.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello! My daughter has has been officially PT for 1 week. This is what worked for me: First off, I felt like a broken record asking if she needed to pee or poo. I always kept her training potty in the bathroom. Whenever she went (in the potty), I had a party in the bathroom... my husband, my 11 yr old son, & I clapped and praised her. Our respons really encouraged her to keep going. Also, pretty undies with flower desings help.
Accidents will happen, it's all part of training.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,
I am currently PT my 27 month old little girl. I probably started PT consistently for about a month and a half. I feel that you just have to ease into in. You just can't expect a child at that age to "take" to the potty right away. You have her in underwear? Might be to soon for that.
My daughter has been familiar with a potty for a long time now. I bought a potty and put it in our bathroom, we've have had it there since she could walk. (I thought it was so cute, I had to buy it) Anyway, every time she was in the bathroom with me when I went to go pee, I would ask her if she wanted to sit on her potty. The answer was ALWAYS "NO", up until about 2 months ago. She decided that she was going to be like mommy and do it. She figured out how to take her diaper off herself and lifts her dress. It's really cute.
You also HAVE to keep an eye on the diaper. I will always tell my daughter to sit on the potty when she has a clean diaper for at least an hour. Getting her to sit on it is a different story. Sometimes it's a fight. But, I KNOW she has to go. 9 times out of 10 she sits and pee's. Please be aware that not all kids can handle being forced to sit. That can just make the whole thing more frightening for a child. My daughters personality can handle that. But, you just have to get in tune with her body schedule. I personally do not have her in underwear just yet. The fact is, is that she doesn't want to wear them. She will also refuses to wear the pull ups too. So, I am stuck with diapers. She will NOT tell me when she has to pee, so it is up to me to figure that out. Pooping is a whole nother story! My daughter has pooped in the potty one time, and has never done it again. She was outside in the baby pool naked. I brought her little potty outside so she could pee in it if she need to. I guess it was just good timing cause she yelled "I have to go poopy" and she just went cause she didn't have a choice. I make it a point every day to have her sit on the potty before nap time and bedtime.(and in between as well) Presently, she will sit if she has to go. She will pee in the potty between 1-3 times a day now. She still argues with me, but she will sit. I try not to bribe her, sometimes if she is giving me a really hard time and it is after lunch, I will tell her she can have a lollipop if she sits. I try not to make a big deal out if because it should just be a part of life, and not something that should be rewarded all the time. I tell her "good job" and give her a hug. That seems to be enough for her.
This is a process, and should not be forced with in a few days. Kids have accidents for YEARS!!!!!
Good luck!

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J.V.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Personally I would back off a little. I think that it'd be better if you wait until she consistently tells you she has urinated, or that she is going "poop" or needs to go. Sure- even if you'd like her potty trained by October, you can still hit it a little harder in a couple of weeks or so. I learned through my 3 kids, that once the kids started using the potty/toilet that training happened really fast- in a week or less. It is hard knowing when they really are ready though sometimes.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I worked and worked at potty training my first two (both boys) and only had FULL success after they turned three. Then I had my two girls - much easier to potty train. I didn't even have to work with them. At two and a half, they just decided to use the toilet.

If you don't want to stress yourself out, I would recommend waiting. (Trust me, she won't go to Kindergarten in diapers!) Many children seem ready, but they just don't have the desire. If you wait until she WANTS to do it, it is much easier. However, you know your child best, and you have to go with your own instincts.

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,
I would wait until after the baby is here and she has made the adjustment to a new baby. If trained before a baby they often revert back to being untrained when a baby arrives. The older child will train more easily at that time because she will learn that you will lay down baby and give her time. The other thing to remember is she is still young,but since she is a girl she may be ready for training. Little boys I usually tell them to wait until they are three (all three of my boys trained easily at this age, but tried before was only a big frustration). Personally, I would wait until she was about 2 1/2 year.
Hope this helps. Congratulations on the expected little one. God's blessing on your family.

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

She's a bit young, don't push it. It's a great book and works if they're ready.

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, I have potty trained four of my own kids (all now grown), several day-care children and grandkids. I would stop for the week and then try again. Let her digest what she has learned. I wouldn't push, or try for more than a day at a time. I trained all of the children in one day just by waiting for them to be ready.
Good luck with your precious little girl and your new baby.
K. K.

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't think most kids PT before 3 years of age. Fore some reason 3 is the magic number, I think it has to do with maturity, mental and physical. I was successful for a few days with my D at 18 months and then she completely stopped until she was 3...... Good luck!

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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is 2 and a half and we introduced the potty just before 2 and he wanted nothing to do with it. Now I just let him lead me for when he's ready. I ask him all the time if he wants to go without a diaper for a while and I let him go outside and play in his kiddy pool so if he has to go he just heads to the grass. This was good because it helped him recognized the urge. Now I just ask him all the time if he has to use the potty and when he's in the mood he will tell me "I have pee, I better use the potty" and he goes. But again... it's just when hes in the mood. So it's just about being patient and keeping it infront of them all the time.

And yes, once the new one comes she will certainly regress so don't rush it.

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D.Y.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have 5 kids ranging from 8 to 5 months old. In my experience, the more you push, the more they turn away from potty training. Don't be too hard on yourself, especially after the new baby, they generally revert some anyway, that will work to your advantage though, you will not have the time to take care of a new baby and potty train actively. All my kids generally became interested again a few months after the new baby. My little boy bacame interested at 1 1/2,(I just had #5) and just turned 2, and became interested again before, and just now started to actively go on the potty. It will feel like alot at first with 2 in diapers, but you will see it will be ok.
Best wishes to you and congrats on the new baby

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L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would say to follow your daughter's lead. Keep giving her the option to go on the potty. The more you push when she isn't ready though, the longer potty training will take. We tried to p.t my three year old around 24 months and it started well and then became a battle. We gave up and a month later, she just decided she was done with diapers. It was like a switch was thrown. With my son, he responded really well to us ALL going through potty training (i.e. "Daddy went peepee in the potty! yeah Daddy!!" and then high fives all around) This can lead to some funny situations (when people come to visit, only to be cheered on for using the restroom) but it eases the tension around going potty and makes it a positive and fun thing for them. Good luck, and don't stress out!! While it'd be nice not to have two in diapers, its really not that hard, I promise! ;) (my kiddos are 22 months apart, so there was some overlap too)

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E.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,
I have two boys (boys often potty train later than girls), but neither of my boys really was ready until they were around three. I'm not saying that you're rushing your little one, just that you don't need to worry if you wait a bit. I understand wanting to have her out of diapers before your new baby arrives. Often the older sibling regresses with the arrival of the younger sib, so if your little one doesn't seem sure yet, you may end up going through the same thing again once your new one arrives. Both of my boys announced one morning that they were ready for underwear, and that was that (with a few accidents, but very few). My experience was that they really let me know when they were ready. Of course, every child is different. Good luck!

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter was about your daughters age when she started potty training. No books, I just started intruduging her to the toilet. There were alot of accidents but before I knew it she was asking to go to the potty. At first I got frustrated, but I did hear that you shouldn't push them when they are just not ready. So don't push the subject, just when you may see her wanted to go ask her if she would like to go to the potty. Make it a fun game, and it will all come naturally. Good Luck.

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M.C.

answers from San Diego on

I had the same timing issue as you with my girls 26 months apart. I was worried about trying to potty train while having a newborn in the house. Turns out that it worked out fine. While the newborn is time-consuming and draining, having one around does mean that you are home a lot! So, don't worry about trying to time things around the arrival of your new one.

We eased into it with lots of time just sitting on the potty at regular intervals and reading potty books or kids magazines. I had a sticker chart on the back of the door and gave out a sticker for just doing a potty sit session. As things progressed, she got an M&M for actually going in the potty. In order to complete the process, I eventually had to move her out of pull-ups to undies. We did have a lot of accidents to deal with for about a week or two (which I admit was sometimes difficult while trying to get a 2-month old down for a nap), but then she got it.

Good luck and congratulations!

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,

The others moms had good advice. Your daughter is in control of when she pees so you can't push too much but that doesn't mean you should give up either. Try to find a balance. Have her help you pick out nice underwear and pick out a potty seat to go on the toilet (if you haven't done this yet). Let her see you go and other kids go.
We bought the book/video Once Upon a Potty. My son really liked it. He just had to get over his fear of going on the potty. One month before he turned 3 we told him no more diapers and he just did it - but he was really ready then. Your daughter may not be ready to fully commit to it yet.

Don't stress too much about getting your daughter trained before October - it will happen soon enough. And be prepared - once your daughter is trained she will want to visit every public bathroom you pass whether she has to go or not! This will drive you crazy.

Good luck!

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