I have a 25 month old. He is in daycare and naps just fine there. The weekends we try to keep him on schedule but he refuses to nap. It is a constant struggle. It takes me over an hour to get him to nap and by the time I do we are both frustrated and exhausted. I dread naptime @ home. I have the same routine we read a few books(like we do at night) and then the battle begins. He is in a daybed now so it is almost impossible to get him to stay in his big boy bed. He naps 5 days a week @ daycare and will nap for 1 1/2 to 2 hours so I think he still needs to nap.
I want to thank everyone for their helpful advice. One thing I truly realized that it was my need for structure and a break that was driving my frustration. So after much thought we approached his naps this weekend by keeping him on routine. I would take him in his room and we would spend some quiet time reading books. Once I realized that it just wasn't going to happen I did my best just to get him to relax. There was no battle which I think made me feel so much better. After 2pm we had errands to run and after 2 min in the car he fell asleep. He was a little cranky late afternoon but we all survived. I started his bath a little earlier than usual. On Sunday we planned some morning activities we took him on an outing went out to lunch and got home around 1pm. We attempted the nap and once again he didn't want to so we just ended up cuddling on mommy's bed watching a video for another hour. He was absolutely fine with 0 nap. He did go to bed a little earlier. It was easier than I thought it would be. Thank you to all of you for your advice and support.
I agree with making it "quiet time"
Also can the daycare give him an item that he can fall asleep with there and take home on weekends as a sleep time signal?
The danger with this is that if he gets dependent and you forget it one day, he really won't sleep.
Good Luck!
I have the same issue with my preschooler. She goes to preschool 3 days a week and will nap there, but will not nap at home on her off days. I stressed about it at first and made it a big ugly battle. But now, I just make it a "quiet time". She lays quietly on the couch and watches a video or plays quietly in her room and looks at books. Good luck.
Hi K.:
I agree with those mothers who suggested making it a quiet time.Why would anyone think it A great idea,to listen to their child scream and cry for an hour? This Turns the situation into a power struggle,rather than a good rest for your toddler. Children this age,lack the skills to communicate their feelings,however,they have their own ways to let us know,when they are tired or hungry.Would you force feed him if he wasn't hungry? No. There will be days hes pooped out and will go to sleep for you,and other days,his little mind is racing and just needs some quiet time. Resting his little body,is sufficient I'd use this time to sit and cuddle and read to him. Its beneficial for you both,and you'll be amazed at the vocabulary he picks up as a result.I wish you and your darlin boy the best. J. M.
WHy are you making this an issue? If he's not going to nap, he's not going to nap. He may just have outgrown naps sooner than other children. If he is sleepy, he will sleep. If he isn't, you are going to have battles. As a mom, you need to pick your battles over important stuff. For example, if he bit another child, you would be right on top of him. Remember the old saying, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"? Well, that pretty much goes here too. Just because he does something at daycare doesn't mean he does it at home. Daycare is usually very regimented and the kids fall in line or else. Home is where he wants you. So spent time with your baby and enjoy him. Now be honest, is it really worth the battle so that you are angry, frustrated, and exhausted? So, if he doesn't take a nap, his bedtime will will move up accordingly. What would be the worst that could happen if he did not take a nap? He doesn't take a nap!
Hi K.,
My son is about the same age and we've been having a lot of no nap days, too. After getting advice on here, I decided to just not worry about it too much and instead give him "quiet" time where he has a couple of trucks and some books in his bed. Some days he'll fall asleep and some days he won't. If he doesn't fall asleep, I let him play in his crib for an hour (or two if he's happy). If he starts getting upset before I'm ready for him to come out, I check on him to make sure he hasn't pooped (he likes to save pooping for nap time) and if it's obvious he's not going to nap (if it's been more than a half an hour of him talking/playing it becomes pretty clear he's not going to fall asleep) I set a timer in there and let him know he has "x" amount of time left of quiet time. It works, he will play nicely until the timer goes off and then he cheers when it goes off, knowing he gets to come out and play. It's so much easier when I just go with his flow rather than trying to fight it. He's gotten so used to this that often he'll play in there for an hour and a half before starting to fuss and I never need to set a timer at all.
If he doesn't actually sleep, I put him to bed at least an hour earlier than usual. He'll still sleep 'til his usual wake-up time and seems to make up for the lack of nap by getting in more hours at night.
Oh, one other thing I've discovered is that he is more likely to take a nap if I make his nap time a little later than it used to be. No matter what time he wakes up, 2:00 pm seems to be a good time for his nap/quiet time. I used to think that was way too late for a kid who usually wakes up around 7:00 am, but it seems to be working better. Even if he takes a 2 hour nap or more he'll still go to bed fine by 8:00 pm.
Hope this gives you some ideas!
Why frustrate yourself and demand your child goes to sleep. If they are not tired or dont want to they dont sleep. Make quiet time put on a movie, read a book, cuddle with him and maybe he will fall asleep or let him "read" tell him it is quiet time even if he wont sleep he must rest and be quiet.
He probably does not want to nap beacause he wants to be with you. If it takes an hour to struggle and fight with him for nap time maybe the kid is right and does not need a nap. Maybe at school they are very active and he gets more tired and besides if all the kids lay down of course he will to. There is no law that states your child must take a nap at 12pm right?.
Okay, so he's probably just used to the routine at daycare and needs the consistency of that same routine at home.
My son had some issues with the weekend nap transition and we ended up buying the same kind of sleep cot that they had at school. He'd get his cot out and we had the same kind of blankets and sheet and stuff like that, and he knew it was time for nap. You need to create the same kind of cues that your daycare provider uses to help you kiddo know it's time to sleep. Eventually, my son stopped using the cot and we donated it to the school...it's just about doing what works to make life easier for our kids and for US too.
Please don't stress! It will work out, just be patient and consistent. It's touch because the weekends he gets you ALL day to himself, so he just wants Mom and Dad time. I would sit with my son until he fell asleep, just like his daycare teacher would do.
Or my really good friend, just lets it be. Her little girl doesn't nap on the weekends but, naps every day at preschool. So, really it's about picking your battles and deciding how to best resolve the situation peacefully and productively.
Good Luck!
He probably doesn't want to nap on the weekends, because he doesn't see you much during the week, and misses time with you, so on the weekends, he tries to make up for it, and doesn't want to nap. Maybe you could try napping with him - cuddle up, and let him know you are there - then I bet he naps just fine. Make it mommy and me time for him - a treat, instead of more time when he doesn't have you.
K.
My daughter stopped napping at 18 month. You've had a whole year more! Now that she's 11 I laugh about it. I know it's frustrating now, because you need a break. Give him quiet time and try to get through it. All children are very different, so expect one (or right) answer. Sorry, just look at it as a little bump in the long, long highway and try to enjoy it.
My son did the same thing around that age and, while it may not be the best method, we started taking relaxing car rides around nap time. I would give him his milk (which he'd drink in the car) and then we would drive around until he would fall asleep which would usually wouldn't take very long. We'd transfer him to his bed or our couch once we got home. My son is very high energy and even if he didn't end up falling asleep in the car, it gave us both a chance to relax and not deal with the struggle that would happen when we'd insist upon the nap at home. It may be silly but it REALLY helped us. Whenever my son didn't get a nap, he was a total bear! Good luck, K.!
stop reading him books at nap time, its not night time its nap time no playing no BS its nap time, if he screams let him but you can not go pick him up then he knows you break and he will do this every time, it takes three days in a row to break a bad habit..
Well I'm no expert on these things but I say if it is causing stress on you, as the mom, don't bother with the naptime on the weekends. Since you dread it, just don't do it on Saturday and Sunday, it's not worth it. Maybe he doesn't need it as much as you think, he is doing it at daycare more because it is "the routine" there. I know you want to try to keep "the routine" but lets face it, the workweek has it's own routine, and the weekend has its own routine. No grown up would wake-up, get ready, eat, etc. at the same pace we do for work when we are home on the weekend. Maybe he plays harder at daycare and get's more tired. Maybe he is more rested in general at home on the weekend (like us). That's kinda the point, the weekend is a break from the routine. Does he get to sleep in a little later on weekends? This could be another reason he isn't so sleepy come naptime. Especially if you have to rouse him in the a.m. to go to daycare, and on weekends he wakes up at his leisure.
Anyways, that's my only advice. I am learning you have to pick your battles with toddlers. If you do decide to skip the nap, maybe you'll find that him being cranky at the end of the day (from no nap) will be easier for you to handle than struggling with him in the middle of the day. And maybe he will conk out early and you and hubby will have more time to yourselves Saturday and Sunday nights!
Hi K.,
We went thru this with our daughter (now 4 1/2) and currently with our son (turned 2 on Feb 12th). It is just cruel that they are always better at daycare then at home. Have you confirmed the method they use and commit to duplicating it???
We use the cry it out method (as does our daycare provider). There are days our son may cry for a while but eventually he will fall asleep. We made the mistake of going back in with our daughter when she was his age and it created a bigger problem of not willing to sleep without us. Breaking bad habits is so much hard then creating good ones. Naps are much harder then bed time also. He does end up sleeping eventually but there are days he will be in his room 20-30 minutes crying (or playing since we had to convert him out of crib to toddler bed) but eventually he does fall asleep. He is getting better and crying out less often.
I know it's tough to hear them cry but I truely believe he is trying to get our attention. At this age, they have learned the art of manipulation (I say this because I can see it in his eyes when he works mom over.) If we give in now, it will just encourage him to refuse to go to sleep with it is time. If you go back in when he's crying he knows it works and keeps doing it. If you don't go back in he will eventually give up.
If you have other questions on this feel free to shoot me an email.
K. G
The "Terrible twos" I remember those so well. :) My kids are now all over 30 yrs old now, but your post makes me reminisce. I actually hated that age, I had two that age for a short time, my two oldest are exactly three days to the day apart, while one was one yr the other would turn two yrs old. So I got double duty. Anyway, I would put then in the playpen and keep them there for about an hour in the afternoon, or evening until they went to sleep. This worked for me as they soon learned there is a quiet time and they were expected to sit, lay, or be quiet for this time. Inevitably they would fall fast asleep soon after and there would be a quiet time of about 2 hours. Once this routine is accepted you son will settle down a bit.
Even though your son is two, he may not need a nap every day. Some two year-olds begin to cut down on the number of naps a week. So--you can do what we did--install "quiet time"--which means, your son must be quiet in his room for 1-2 hours a day--he can read or sleep, but that's it. No playing. (If he plays, put him back in bed. If he plays again, do a little time-out or take away a favorite thing for a short time...). Tell your son that if he doesn't take a nap, that's okay, but that he'll have to go to bed earlier.
By the way--it's not impossible for them to stay in bed--you just have to be willing to be a really patient broken record for a while--if he gets out, put him back in. If he gets out, put him back in....
This is what our pediatrician told us to do when our son was two--now he is almost five with a nap only once every two weeks ago--but we have quiet time every day. It's good for everyone in the house.
:-) D.
Congrats! I just celebrated my fifth wedding anniversary on the 21st. Maybe you could let the schedule go just for the weekend. My son did the same thing so I just stopped trying and had quite time for a little while everyday instead. It worked great and when he gets tired he has no problem putting himself down for a nap. He'll probably have no problem napping at school still because everybody does it. Good Luck!
