Help with Stress

B.,
It is normal to have those feelings. However I would suggest getting the time released Niacin. That helps incredibly.
S.

B., I totally feel for you! I too am a worrier and it most definitely feels overwhelming at times. I just had my second baby 5 months ago and felt the same way you are right now when I was pregnant. I agree with many of the other responses about taking steps to relax right now and try to de-stress before the baby arrives. Sometimes, just taking an afternoon to yourself, taking a bath, carving out 20-30 minutes just for you each day can make a big difference in your attitude and ability to handle the stress. I also have to say that I'm sure some of the other respondents have best intentions, for them to tell you that you need to quit your job and become a stay at home mom is not fair. That is a completely personal decision you and your husband need to make and do not let anyone else's opinion of what you do with your family affect that. I am a working mom and have had many mom's judge me for my decision, but it has been a blessing for our family and my two children are happy, well adjusted, sensitive and loving kids. Congratulations to you on your new little addition and best of luck to you!

Congrats! Worrying is part of hormones and a new life about to enter the world. It is so very normal.
The key is to reassure yourself that you can do it, it all falls into place and that you have a great husband to support you. Try your best not to allow the worries in your head, when they do go sit in the nursery and smell the baby lotion, sounds corny but it worked for me! Just that smell, gave me peace and comforted me knowing I couldn't wait to meet my little girl.
There is never enough money on paper for a child, it seems like we worry however once they come into the world you can then decide what is truly best for your situation, whether you choose to stay home, get a nanny or daycare. Your baby will be fine if you are.
Worrying can increase blood pressure and you don't want that this last leg of the journey believe me!

I planned everything to a tee, planned to go back to work and had a daycare lined up, then my daughter was born early due to preeclampsia, then she was born a few days before 9/11 so that on top of hormones there was no way I was going back to my high stressed job! I decided to stay home it took a lot of making concessions and sacrifice but we made it work, however now I am divorced with two and I can say though I am so blessed to have been home with my kids at times I think giving up that great job may have not been the best financially for myself and them in the long run. Now after eight years out of the workforce I have to start all over and am in a bad place financially right now. Not saying you will get divorced at all, but you just need to think that any decisions made that are large right now may not be under the best circumstances with the hormones talking.

You will know, you will just know what is the best thing to do. Renting is great, however you are getting nothing solid in return. If you can do something from home, work even the 30 hours a week you will be fine. Your baby just needs you happy and they are fine in daycare or with you. The bond is there regardless, promise.

Kids do great in daycare as well as if you are at home. Don't let anyone decision now come full circle until that baby is there.
I choose to stay home for so many reasons that I cannot even name them on this post. It was what I choose for myself but it isn't for everyone. If you have worked hard to get where you are, you need that finanical stability then your baby will be fine.

Stress, worry, hormones raging, ups and down moods are all very normal. Just try to breathe, eat up every second of your pregnancy and listen to calm music with your baby, I used to put headphones on my stomach and play music for my kids when I was pregnant, shutting my eyes and picturing them in my arms.

Soon enough you will be consumed with that baby's needs and you won't have time to worry, it all just falls into place as it is suppose to, promise.

One thing someone told me was "does your worrying change the outcome and allow you to control it?", NO it doesn't. It is something about the unknown and you have to have faith, pray and relax as best you can as you have no control over a lot things and worrying just lowers your immune system and causes panic where it isn't necessary.
Hang in there! God bless you and congrats, you will do great!!!

It is nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way. I don't work full time, just part time, and have 2 kids at home and am due with the third in 7 weeks. The last couple of weeks I seem to overreact about everything, worring about every little thing and crying all the time. I have to agree with other moms who said you need to find some time for yourself. That is what I have tried to do and the last couple of days I have felt a little better. You may want to discuss your feelings with your doctor as well, especially if you haven't felt this way in the past 7 months. He/she may be able to make some suggestions to help you as well. If you can cut hours at work that may help give you more time to relax as well. Good luck with everything and congrats on the baby! That is very exciting!

Hi there,
I just wanted to let you know that what you are feeling is normal. I have just recently had our first little girl. She is two weeks old now. I was pretty stressed out myself and i was way more irritable than I normally am. I was worried that I wouldn't be a patient mom, or a good mom. My husband got sick of me trying to figure out baby stuff, but he was just as worried as me about our finances (and the baby's health) because we can't do it on his salary alone. I am still trying to figure out how i am going to go back to work! I also got extremely tired the last part of my pregnancy and i think that contibuted to my lack of ability to cope with stress, plus that fact that I was so uncomfortable. Normally exercise for me is the big stress reliever. But i started to be in a lot of pain when i would exercise, but I found some simple things that helped me relax. One of those things was taking a long shower. Try to find something that works for you. My friend suggested talking about your fears with your husband and writing them down or drawing a picture of them and how they make you feel. Your husband probably has worries too and there is something about having them on paper that seems to help make them manageable. That may or may not work for you but it might be worth a try. Just remember that your hormones are all over the place and that worry is normal. try to get some time for you. Go out on dates with your husband as often as possible, its the last little while that you two will have all to yourselves. You really really really will need time for yourself. Get sleep!! Plan on doing absolutley nothing but feeding and diapering and recovering for at least two weeks after birth. Let someone else do all, and I mean all, the housework and dinner prep. and good luck.

Hi B.,
When was the last time you did something specifically for YOU?
I like Deb K's response, esp the last paragraph.

This too shall pass. Worry is an addiction that interferes with compassion. Includes compassion for ourselves as well as those around us (or riding IN us :) ).
If you have a Higher Power, now is the time to lean on it/Him/Her heavily. Pray, meditate, regain the faith that everything will turn out just as it is supposed to.

Hang in there, mommy, you're in the last stretch!
A.

Hey B., I don't want to sound like the church girl, but I didn't read any other responses pertaining to core beliefs about the world and God and purpose. I have 4 kids, the oldest is 8, I'm 32 and I'm a Christ follower. I went to church growing up and I didn't think much of it. My husband and I traveled all over b/c he played football for the last 10 yrs. Over that time we met a lot of people and tried a lot of churches and here's where I am now. I know now that not only did God save my life from a terrible car accident where I broke my neck and should be paralized, but I could not handle my kids and my life without asking Him every day what to do with these crazy people that live in my house. :) I know there are so many things out there that say you can do it yourself or God is just a crutch. For me he is a crutch and if it weren't for that crutch I would fall on my a@@ everyday. There's no right or worng for everyone about whether or not you work or stay home or how you do school or any other decisions you have to make about kids. I think God will show each of us what is right for us if we just ask Him. He also promises to protect us and our kids. I know bad things still happen, but I know we are NEVER out of His hands. I'm sorry this is so long, but this is what I've learned and where I am. Thanks for sharing and thanks for reading. Be blessed!

I want to gently point this out because some people (like I was) are essentially raised by the ideas they get from the media, and the media tells us that women can "have it all". But is that logical? Nobody can "do it all" -- so why should women?

You didn't have a baby so that a low-paid, relatively uneducated daycare worker could feed it a bottle every three hours. Right? It's okay to re-think your entire life. It's okay to live in an apartment and be frugal. If you delegate that baby to other people who will not love the baby, it WILL affect your child, it WILL affect you, and it WILL affect your marriage.

You are on the right track with your concerns. You have a long life ahead of you, and you can do other activities/jobs in their season. This is the season where you love & raise a little tiny helpless infant who needs you. I am praying for you now.

I suggest you get help from your doctor. It sounds like anxiety problems and if left untreated, it only gets worse. There is one trick I learned on how to put myself to sleep. Well, not to sleep but relaxed enough to sleep. First, lay in your most comfortable position. Then, close your eyes and take a slow breath with counting to four before you let it out. Let the breath out slowly through your mouth. The breath in should be through your nose. While you do this imagine soft colors, like light green, light blue and yellow swirling in through the nose and slowly filling your whole body.

When you exhale out through your mouth imagine all the stress of the day exiting in a red mist. Keep this up for a good five minutes. Don't hold your breath, you'll start to hyperventalate. I can't spell. sorry. Remember the count, start breathing in through the nose and count one, two, three, four. Let it out, two three four.

I found this works the best. Make sure your body is completely relaxed. If you feel yourself tense up shake your hands, wiggle your toes and open your mouth and then close it a few times. It helps.

Another thing to try is to color a mandela each night about half an hour before you go to bed. It may sound silly but using the colors gets out your mood for the day. A mandela book can be found at any book store. Or if you're strapped for cash make a picture where you draw big swooping lines that make circles and rectangles and stuff. And then fill in each separate space with random colors. Don't try to make them match or worry about what it looks like in the least. Open the box of crayons and choose the first color your eyes catch. Then put that one to the side and go for another one. It really helps match your mood. I wish you good luck and congrats on the new baby. You'll be fine!!

Awhhhh honey... SIX years!! This is SUCH a blessing. Personally (& this is JUST ME!!), I would say take EVERY minute you possibly can to give to your babe... so yes- get an apartment, do whatever you need to do to be able to spend your time raising your baby!!! Sounds to me like you will be happier, and I KNOW baby will be happier!!! I would sacrifice my house (along with almost anything else!), to be able to enjoy the amazing time with them. It will go far far far too fast, and personally- every day I wish I would have waited to finish school & spent more time with my first baby- I am fixing that now, & also making sure to always be there for my 2nd!!! When you know you will be doing every possible thing you can for them, 7 will always be there, & there isn't work stress to worry about, I think you will be so much happier!!! Again, though- that is just my personal opinion, sit down & honestly think about all the outcomes and decide which one sounds best for you, and then make it happen!!! Good Luck!

HI B., I am a single mom of 3 kids ages 16, 18, and 19...and well the best advice i can give you is home is your escape from work and work is your escape from home... yes worrying about everything is totally normal. I worry about money, food, housing, friends, do they have them, are they the right ones, are my kids emotionally stable, phyiscally normal to everyone their age, I worry about whether I did everything I could to show them I loved them enough will I still be able to show them I continue to love them enough, I worry about their jobs, their grades, I worry about girlfriends and boyfriends....Welcome to parenthood, it is a very popular club but the most unique you will ever join... so now that I am thru rambling guess what here comes the punch line... I am the best mother I can be and so will will YOU!!! Just know its ok to let your kids see you cry, its ok to lets them know you WILL make mistakes, and you know what they will love you just the same, and you will do great. So for now, sit back and enjoy being pregnant... put your feet up, take a nap, have an extra scoop of ice cream....because it all works out in the end.... hope this was helpful.... D.

Ok, you need to take a deep breath. It is normal to be stressed out. Especially when you have wanted this for so long, and it is so new. It does change your life, but in a good way. I am a Mom of two, and worked my whole life. It was a huge change to go from being my ownself, or just with my husband, to having a baby. Everyone feels some stress, but your job sounds very demanding. The first thing I would do is write everything down. Putting things on paper will help you to see where you are at, with your job, husband, and preparing for the baby. Talk to your Doctor. They should be able to help you figure out how to deal with your stress, it is not good for you or your baby. Is there anyone else in your life, Mom, sister, or friend, who you can talk to to help you out. Husbands are great, but they do not get it. They do not understand fully until the baby is out. I do not know you, but you really need to think about your job. Can you really have a job like this, put your baby in daycare, and not stress out every day? I have no problem with Mom's who need to work, but maybe you need a different job, maybe going to a lower level position for a few years would be better. Anyway, I know I don't know you, but I feel for you. I hope things get better.

Hi B.,

Hormones are definetly pulling on you. But it sounds like deep down somewhere you know what you need to do, or have an idea. Start journaling your thoughts and take action. You need to reduce your stress, it is so important! Do something to reduce your stress everyday, it may mean hiring someone to walk the dogs when you get home or giving the dogs to a new home (reducing costs). Figure out what the real problem is the job, finances, both, etc. Then act. Get a new job?, reduce costs, etc.

You can do it! This will pass.
R.

B.,

Wow good for you for reaching out to the greater community for help. I was a worrier and it is a downward spiral. Try to change your thoughts about all of this. Sit quietly and try to get really connected to a very quiet place and center. Connect and talk to your baby. There are so many things in life that we cannot control but the things we can are our thoughts. It will make and otherwise amazing experience crazy and miserable. Being pregnant is an incredible wonder filled journey. Sounds as though you have an amazing support in your husband. I hope that you can relax and enjoy this loving time.

K.

Except for the hormones, what you are going through is only "normal" for women who plan to keep working after the baby is born. I agree with the other moms who say staying home is best for the baby, you and not to mention your husband. Imagine this, you drop baby at daycare(at only 6 weeks old)go to your 5-6 hour long job(someone else is bonding with your little boy all day). You pick baby up from daycare and go home to the dogs who need attention too. So, instead of getting laundry, cleaning, or even dinner thought out, you put baby in the stroller or carrier and dogs on a leash for a walk. Then you come home and have to start dinner, laundry etc. You will probably be crabby and frazzled when your husband gets home, and he will feed off of that, and in turn the home environment will not be very happy and loving. During this whole day, how much will you have held and bonded with your baby? Not much. Now, imagine this, you downsize your home, get an apartment and budget like crazy so that you get to wake up every morning NOT rushing around like a crazy person to get your kid to daycare and you to work. You sit and rock your baby while he is either breastfeeding or having a bottle for breakfast, and time is of no real importance. After a little playtime and cuddling, baby will be ready for a nap. You put him down, throw a load of laundry in, clean up whatever needs it, then get to go take a nice shower. Don't forget to eat! You have the whole day to do whatever you want or need to do(visit with a girlfriend, grocery shopping, when baby is older you can spend an hour at the park, etc.) In the middle of the day, you can take that nice walk with your baby and dogs. When you know you husband will be on his way home, you can get dinner started. I recommend doing a quick check in the mirror and touch up your hair and make-up if needed, then greet him with a smooch with baby in your arms when he walks in the door. This way there is definitely love in the home. Remember, women set the tone for the home. Now, doesn't that sound more pleasant that the first scenario? Although being a SAHM is busy, and in the beginning can be stressful just trying to figure it all out, it is nothing like stressing at a job all day, then scrambling to get things done at home after work. It sounds like one of the things you are stressing about is that they won't be replacing you at your job. Don't let that "guilt" you into keeping the job. They will manage without you. One thing I always keep in the back of my mind...I can always be replaced at a job, but I can never be replaced as Mommy. My kids and husband need the best me I can be. I would not be the best ME if I were busy at a job all day and worrying about anyone else other than my family. Family comes first. So, I vote you sit down with your husband, show him a list of all of the ways you can save money and live on one income, and tell him, while holding his hand, that you need him to take care of you. You need him to be the one "slaying dragons" all day while you are home taking care of the baby and the home, and when he gets home, you can take care of him. I know for a lot of women this is a hard thing to swallow, but in general, women need to feel taken care of by their men, and in general, men NEED to feel like they are depended on by their women. Think about it, if the feminists hadn't fought to make us believe that we can all be Superwoman (career women and mommies) you wouldn't be so conflicted right now. If you just can't survive without a second income, there is always the option of working part time at night while baby is sleeping. If the money you make is just for extras and play money, I am of the mindset that being home for my kids and husband is more important than material things. Why try so hard for 6 years to have a baby just to drop him off at daycare every day? Of course, this is all just my opinion.

Well, Do you really have to work? Because it is the best thing in the world to be able to stay home with your baby. Can your husband take over? Maybe you are feeling these feelings for a reason? I wish you luck on a huge decision. Just know, if at all possible, it is the best thing for you and your baby to focus completely on him when that time comes. I know that is hard for some people to hear, but those babies are only tiny (and young) for a little while. There are seasons in our lives, and maybe its time to focus on that little one and giving him a Mom who will always be there and can actually focus on him as he grows up? Believe me, life is busy just being a stay at home Mom...busy enough for me!! Just some thoughts, but I have no idea of your real situation.
Good luck!

Wow, I absolutely didn't intend to respond, but after reading some of the "advice" here, I am burning up! To stay at home or work is a very personal decision. I will list the reasons why being a working mom is better for my family in a moment, but first... I am taking a workshop now on finding balance in motherhood and we are doing a very helpful exercise. When you are overwhelmed and anxious, sit down and literally put pen to paper: what expectations do you have for yourself, do others have for you? What overwhems you? What are your fears? Review your list(s), and CROSS OUT any that are OUT of your control or unreasonable. Try to put those things out of your mind and focus on things that are in your control. This helps to ground you, I think.

Now. Consider your options regarding daycare. There are many options out there, the more you check out, the better you will feel that there are options. It may be when you have your baby you will want to stay home. Maybe you will at first, but after several months decide to go back. Completely a personal decision. Staying at home is not easy work AT ALL. You will have no identity other than that of a mom. There is a reason women fought for a century (centuries?) for equal rights, ladies. Ok, disclaimer, what follows is only my opinion and what works for our family, I do not want to offend… I think that if you take on the role of stay at home mom you are in effect putting all the responsibility of child raising, housework, meals, etc on yourself and that it’s just too much to bear. When you and your husband are both working, you can expect more equality, after all, you’re both contributing financially and are gone from home the same amount- so there should be no expectations on his behalf. I think resentments start to build on each side- on the man’s for not being able to be around their kid as much as mom and therefore not being as close to them (baby always wants mommy), and on the woman’s for the man having a life outside the home. Anyway, I think feminists fought for these reasons. I think it’s harder to take on the role of stay at home in today’s age than in the 50s, because it was the status quo then and it’s a choice now. Also, if your job is to be mom, you can only measure your success by your child, and I think that’s a lot of expectation to put on a child. Really, the way it should be is that us women raise our children as a community, with each mom getting a chance to do both mommying and working... but that's not the way our society is wired.

I personally struggled when I had to go back to work, I didn't want to at the time. But now I could not fathom doing it any other way. I work 30 hrs a week, and it can be hard... but every moment I spend with my daughter is priceless and precious because it is limited, I think. My daughter LOVES her daycare- she learns so much from the other kids. She learns a lot from me too, but I feel like they need to be surrounded by peers. You know, you have to part with them sometime- and I think it's easier on THEM (not on YOU) to start before kindergarten.

Also very important, is to be a model for womanhood and motherhood- to be a strong, independent woman who has hobbies, interests, and a way to express her intelligence.

There. I said my piece.

Best of luck to you, B.- it's hard, there are no easy choices, especially the one to stay home or work. Oh hey, I forgot another benefit to working- I PAY someone to come clean my house once a week. That way, every moment I have with my family is to be with them and not to do housework.

It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed. You will have moments of balance, but it is UNREALISTIC to think either path (stay at home or work) will be anything like your life before pregancy/baby. You will find serenity. Sometimes. :)

Hi B.,

I had the same problem with my last two babies. I was in a high-stress job and going to school f/t and was totally wigging out about everything. It was all hormonal, I found out. Perhaps having your thyroid checked would be a good idea too. Make sure your doc knows how you're feeling too!

Another thing I would recommend is enlist as much help as you can - husband, parents, siblings, friends - to assist you in any way possible like cooking, housekeeping, etc. Schedule some you-time in: prenatal massages, pedicures, movies, reading, yoga or whatever quiet time you prefer. It really does help!

Keep in mind that what you're going through is typical and it should pass - especially with all the feel-good hormones you'll get after you have the baby. Just be aware of how you feel and don't be afraid to ask someone for help. You definitely don't want to get in too far over your head!

B.,

I am right there with you--7 months pregnant. Honestly, things seem much more stressful than they should seem right now. So, I think part of your stress is being pregnant, and the hormones that go along with it. And part of it is legitimate stress. You have gotten a lot of responses, and whatever you decide to do, you do need to manage stress now as well. Stress does affect the baby, and can cause preterm labor, which you do not want.

I have the same combination of hormones and stress right now (different stress, but still stress) and I have been using a tea called nurturing tea that I got at apothecary tinctura (a store in Cherry Creek--and a great resource) as well as a product from WishGarden Herbs called Stress Relief for pregnancy. You can get that at Vitamin Cottage or Whole Foods, etc... Also, I have found that walking (especially on these nice, recent days) and just being outside a little is a real blessing, and a help for my spirits.

You might also see if you could cut back on hours NOW, so that you can have some time to relax and de-stress before baby comes.

FWIW, we decided that I would stay home, and I totally do not regret it. At the same time, that is a totally personal decision, that you and hubby should both be on board with. Good luck with whatever you decide. Feel free to PM me if you want more info about what I am doing to help manage stress in my life right now, also being 7 months preggo.

Dear B.,
Take a deep breath...STress is not only bad for you but extremly bad for your little one. I know I cannot suggest to quit your job, especially in this economy. But you must avoid as much stress as you can.

Your job seems like a VERY stressful one, an cutting down on hours may give you more time to rest, but not actually destress. But maybe with less hours=less stress? You sound so sad & upset, can you find a less stressful job in the same office? Have you gone to your boss & explained your stress levels?

I am a worrier, that is part of our make up. We cannot change who we are only what we surround ourself with. I would suggest seeing a homeo/naturopathic doctor. They can find a natural solution without drugs. I have seen mine through many of my pregnancies. She is my dr., "mother", psychologist, friend, all wrapped into one. Plus she will find a remedy that is safe for you & your long awaited baby.

I hope I have given you some helpful suggestions. Remember if you do not take care of yourself, you & baby will feel it. Take care, G

I went through the very same worries beginning the moment I went into the delivery room and they told me I needed a c-section. I was totally unprepared for the months of worrying that would follow, and generally I am a totally easy going, worry about nothing kind of person. Becoming a mother definitely changes you!

As you've realized, don't let the situation linger. Once your thought patterns get messed up, I've found that it's hard to get them right again!

Get a book from the library on Congitive Therapy. It teaches you how to change the way you think so that you don't worry, but you identify what you can control and what you can't, and focus on those things in your control. I used a wonderful workbook by Matthew McKay called "taking control of your moods and your life: a thoughts and feelings workbook". It was to the point and easy to use - great for a busy person.

The breathing exercise that someone else described has been GREAT for me (expand your chest and stomach - 4 seconds in through the nose, 4 seconds softly but noisily escaping out the mouth, focus on breath, how it makes your body feel, the movement of your chest, the revitalization of your body, etc. Feel the breath move through your body to your toes)! I find that when I'm anxious, I hold my breath a lot or breath very shallowly, which makes the anxiety even worse. Any form of exercise will help. Look for a water aerobics class through your parks and rec or health club. It is great for pregnancy. Maybe there is a stretching class or easy aerobics class. Yoga wasn't good for me, but others highly recommend it. Taking a class will also help with socializing, which I will describe momentarily.

The other thing I do to help relax is meditate. I used to think it was some crazy thing that eastern religions do. Really it just calms your mind. Get comfortable, close your eyes, darken the room, you could put on some new age music or other soothing music if you like, and just say a sentence over and over in your head. I pick bible passages like Jeremiah 29:11, or common sayings. If you don't know one, just make a sentence that feels calming "God will take care of me", or "the moon and the stars dance at night", or "breath, relax, enjoy". Whatever. The point is the sentence is soothing to you, and you say it over and over, with feeling and meaning. Sometimes it takes a few trys to get a sentence that my body calms to and I'm interested in saying over and over. When another thought pops into your mind, it's OK. Just send it away and continue with your sentence. Every time a thought pops in, repeat. Eventually you'll get to a point that you can focus more easily without thoughts popping in. This simply takes your mind off your worries and calms your body - giving it some much needed reset. Worry and anxiety are very hard on your body! You can do the breathing and the meditating at work for a few minutes, too, or while sitting in your car during your lunch break.

I also found extreme comfort socializing with other moms through breast feeding suppport group (at our hospital), MOPS, Mother's Club, etc. I'm sure your community offers something. I also contacted someone from my birth class, and we became good friends, going through the mothering journey together. For pre-baby socializing, the pregnancy exercise classes - swim, yoga, etc., will put you in touch with other women who may be or have already experienced what you are, and get you the exercise you need. I highly recommend it! Also, is there an experienced mom who can be your mentor - someone who you can just chat with and who can help you face your fears with a more realistic approach. If you're a woman of faith, try a bible study group, esp. a woman's group of some sort. Just being around women who inevitably talk about women's issues would be EXTREMELY helpful (I used to laugh at them as a single, but now I understand how important it is). Maybe there is someone at work you can share your pregnancy journey with. I know it's hard getting out when you work 50 hrs a week, but you really need to do it for your health.

I know that many women have just had to learn that not everything in life is under their control, and they've had to let go. Being a high powered kind of person as you seem to be, this might be hard for you. A visit or two with a therapist could help you with this change in thought.

I hope you find some things that work for you! Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I'd have to say that you are totally normal. I doubt with the hours you work you have time to read a long message here so i'll keep it short and to the point.

1. get a massage! it helped a TON for me when I was in the same situation!
2. google progressive muscle relaxation. or invest in some cd's that do progressive relaxation and listen/do those right before bed. (I still use those)
3. sex (it sounds funny i know) but being intimate with my hubby helped me relax a lot even when i thought i was too tired and too pregnant for it it helped a lot!

good luck! and congrats on the new addition!

B. R,
Do you remember Bobbi McCaughey, eleven years ago she gave birth to septuplets. She took a certain type of vitamins for her nerves, babies health and the best prenatal pills I had ever seen . I still take them to this day, they cost me $20.00 a month and worth every penny. You cannot buy them at just any store, but they are the best science has to offer.

Being pregnant is not for the weak!! lol I know what you are feeling. I was pregnant at 37 and my body could not handle it. You are just experiencing a tremendous rush of hormones. It is all very overwhelming. Lot of hugs and kisses from your husband will help. After the baby, I would suggest that you go and get your hormones checked and this will help you deal with a lot of your stress. Dr. Johnson is a lifesaver.

I felt the same way when I was pregnant with #1. (now pregnant with #4!) I was the breadwinner while my husband went to school. I was stressed to the max! Don't worry about whether or not your baby will have a good life, you love it and that is enough. Maybe you should start cutting back on your hours at work now. Start deligating stuff of while you can BEFORE the baby comes. You will have more patience now then you might when you really are sleep deprived with a new baby. Do you have family to help when the baby comes?
Take a nice hot bubble bath. Read a magazine and just relax for a night. Take time for you so that you can focus better on everything else. What does your husband suggest?

I think you are very normal! Your life is about to change in a big, positive way. Everything is going to be fine. Trust me, i've been through this 3 times! What I did the last couple of months of pregnancy, is took a luke warm bath before bed. Don't take hot ones they will wake you up. Just a warm bath for even 3 minutes works wonders and try to read a book in bed before you fall asleep, you should focus on the story of the book rather than your worries. I hope this helps and keep in mind that a wonderful baby boy is about to grace your life and make you smile every day.

Hi B.,
I am so sorry to here that you are stressed. One thing I try to do is to live in the moment and not about thing's that may or may not happen and are far off down the road!( I still do worry but when I give myself the wake up call it helps) We are a family that lives on one income, here are some ideas for you. First, how much will it "cost" you to work once the baby comes, day care is expensive, also your transportation to work as well as thing's like lunches out etc. Just comb your budget, figure out where all your money is going, you'd be surprised to see how much you can cut back and find "extra" money. Could you downsize on your home as opposed to an apartment? Also remember that if you have to work maybe you could stay home for just five years and then return to work? Good luck, everything will be ok, remember the serenity prayer, god grant me the serenity to change the thing's I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Even if you are not religious( which does help by the way) you just have to accept some thing's are out of your control.

B.,
right now is not the time to make any major changes to your life. You are full of all kinds of emotions that probably don't give you the clearest mind. I understand how you feel, when I was about 7 months pregnant w/ my daughter, I was given a huge promotion. with that, came about 60 hours of work a week. I too, was terrified how I would handle it all. 3 years, and 2 kids later, I am in the same job, and love my work. It took some time and growing pains, but I was finally able to accept alot of things, and balance work and life. I don't beat myself up if the dishes don't get done every day, and on the same side, if I have to work late one night I don't label myself worst mother of the year. something I learned a long time ago that has helped me deal with stress is "control your controlables, and let all else go". Make a plan for the things you can control. Like read some articles for working moms on how to balance work and life. Take each of the things you fret about and ask yourself if it is in your power to change it. If it is not, let it go. For instance, there is only so much you can do about your baby's health, eat healthy, take care of yourself, relax! but there are some things you have no control over, and you will just make yourself sick worrying about those things. Finally, seeing a counselor is amazing, just having a person to bounce your thoughts and feelings off of, without judgement is awesome, and allows you to at least get this stuff off your chest. sometimes just talking things out can help you to work them out better. discuss with your ob doc, they can refer someone.

Oh Honey!!
You have a lot on your plate! Sounds like you have a stressful job and being pregnant with all the hormones that keep changing does not help. When that baby comes into the world believe me when you see your baby for the first time persepctives change!
To sell your home & move into an apartment that is something you would have to consider thinking about if that is something you would want for your family.
But good luck sounds like you have some choices to make & Lord bless you!

I don't know if this is any consolation, but I felt the same way without the high stress job. I worried if I would be a great mother like my mother, if I would have enough patience, etc. I live far away from my family and friends and my best friend asked everyone to write advice about being a mom on a sheet from a scrapbook and put it all together for me. It was such a help in calming me down and I still refer to it in my head at least once a week. You're not alone. It just shows how good a mother you will be because you're so concerned with being one and providing a good life for your little one.

Also, I found prenatal yoga was a real help for me if you can fit it into your schedule.

Best of luck to you!