J.M.
Oh, I soooooo hear you. My husband lost his job last year, so I had to go up to full time teaching from 3/4 time before that. He has a job now, but he's working crazy hours and making very little money. (He's working on commission). So I have to leave the house with my son at about 7am, and by the time I pick him up, walk to get my daughter from school and get home, it's normally just about 5pm. Every morning my 3 year old says "I don't want to go to school." (Nevermind the fact that when I to pick him up at 4 he says "I don't want to leave!") I hate the fact that he's at daycare for so long, and that my daughter spends both the morning and the afternoon in the afterschool care program at her school. They're both happy and very well taken care of, but I feel bad that I'm not around more.
And I hate that I'm working so hard and we're still broke, the house is a mess, and while I know it will get better "at some point" I have no idea what the point is. And I also hate that I can hear in the back of my head as I write this some other moms on this board saying "You've made the choice to be away from your children so much. I would never work. What's best for the kids is to be home with their moms." Even if I truly believed this, which I don't, it makes me feel bad to be judged for trying to make sure that my kids have food on their plates and a roof over their heads.
So I'm not sure that this is encouraging, but know that you are not alone. We'll get through this, I'm sure. You're taking great care of your family, you love your kids lots, and that's what matters. For practical tips, give yourself a night off from dinner 1/week - order a pizza ($10 - totally worth it). Give the bathroom a quick wipedown while the kids are in the bath.
Good luck!