Help with Toddler Sleep Problems

I say he is just reacting normally to having a new baby in the house. Different kids react differently. I say just continue to give him one on one attention. Do not let him revert back to his baby ways as I am sure you prefer to have just one baby at a time. And continue his routine, be consistent. He needs that to reassure him everything will be ok. I wouldnt introduce anything else new to him for a while, at least until his sleeping habits even out. AS for him a.m. mood...it might be because he is not getting good or enough sleep. Just stay on top of it and see how he is in a few weeks.

I think it is wonderful that you are nursing, but you have to tell your older one that he is a BIG BOY and nursing and bottles are only for babies. Just keep encouraging him and telling him that he is a big boy now. Explain to him that nursing using bottles and cribs are for babies. Praise him for going in his own bed. He'll eventually come around. When my youngest was born we used it as a way to potty train our older one by constantly telling him how proud we were of him and that he was and is a BIG BOY.

GOOD LUCK:)

Ok first off stay the course with his bed time. You need to give it time to work out in his mind. These two events happened in a short amount of time and he needs to proven it's not going to happen again soon. Time can only do that. So don't get mad about this evening thing just let it go but don't let it draw much longer than it is in the evening. I'm not telling you to just let him stay up as late as he wants I'm saying don't punish him for staying up like he is. Next the morning what i would do is try to avoid the tantrums if you see one about to come on do what you can to avoid it. If you think spending time alone to calm down is going to help tell him to play alone for a while. I'm also not saying you should not punish him for tantrums but you should avoid them if possible. So he doesn't have to get punished for something that is caused by something he doesn't mean to do. BUT if a tantrum does arrive you have to punish appropriately. Good luck

Maybe he could communicate what he's feeling if the right questions are asked. I mention that because that's what we had to do with my son, who was almost 3 when our daughter was born. When he got sick, we went over how much we love him and how happy we are to have him, and how we are sad for him when he's sick and we want him to feel better, etc. We just took a little time trying to reassure him in the things we could think of. Then, he was able to tell us how he felt, because we'd just used the right words. For example "Sometimes getting sick is scary because we don't know what's wrong and we want to feel better. But we don't need to be afraid. Mommy and Daddy will take care of you. We want to take care of you because we love you and we want you to feel better." Then he would be able to say that he didn't like being sick because it scared him, and we told him again that it doesn't have to be scary and that we loved him. Don't know if you've done this already; it took about a week of saying this for our son to start going to sleep like he did before the baby. Hope this helps!

Hi Y. L,

I'm so sorry your little man had so much trouble. I will let you know that my kids are 2 years apart (almost to the day) and while our oldest did not have any illness soon after our son was home, she did have jealousy problems. She would sometimes fight us about bedtime for as much as 2 hours. It really exhausts you. The key is to remain consistent and keep giving as much attention and love as you can. I nursed my son pretty much every 2 hours and then every hour during the night (he had his days and nights mixed up for about 3 months) so I know the sleep deprivation that you are getting. However, you cannot let your exhaustion influence your parenting skills with your oldest. He is scared, jealous, and not really sure what he is feeling or why. As long as we recognized this and tried our best to show her that she was still loved and all, she would manage through the night. My husband found that she would respond very well to him staying in the room with her. He would sit in a chair or lay next to her bed until she went to sleep and then he would get up. This did start a bad habit, but it kept her in her bed and kept her comfortable. As time passed, he would move further and further away from her until he was just outside the door. Now, we are in our room while she is putting herself to sleep in her room. She still gets up, but they always do. She goes right back to bed and stays there all night. It took us awhile to get there, but it is nice to be here now. And, don't forget that he is in the terrible two's stage now as well. This could have an influence on his behavior as well as his testing you both! Good Luck and let us know how you do !!

All My Best,
V. :)

V. Slinkman
Regional Sales Director
I work at home next to my kids!! You should too--check it out at www.MyWorkAtHomeFreedom.com

Y.:

Hello! The first thing that stuck out to me if that your newborn is nursing around the clock. If you are truly nursing every hour, then your new-born is not latching on properly and getting enough milk. He should be able to go at least 2-4 hours between feedings and should only be nursing for 15-20 minutes - any longer than that on each side is pacification and not nursing. Try pumping your milk and giving him a bottle to see how fast he actually drinks it. When nursing, the lower lip and tongue should be extended and the lower jaw should make a long pull-down motion - which is where the sucking comes into effect.

Second - your oldest son needs time to adjust. Having a stomach virus at such a young age is scary. Ensure that his bed doesn't smell anymore - that can make anyone not want to be in the same bed.

While you are nursing your newborn - get your son involved - ask him to hand you things - show you things he can do (run, jump, read, etc.) - do not banish him from the room or tell him to be quiet. The world is not a quiet place and a baby needs to adjust to noise.

When putting your oldest to bed - ensure it's just "his" time. He needs to know he still has a place in the family and it's not just about the baby. Put the baby in a swing or bassinet and give your son one-on-one time - read to him. Our routine is bath, brush (hair and teeth), book and bed - mine are 8 and 6 and LOVE their routine. Assure your son that he is fine and you are there to take care of him too.

Take care.

Cheryl

Hi Y.
I had a baby last year in the winter time and it is hard when you have a busy toddler too. Hang in there...spring is around the corner! My son also had sleeping issues after the baby came. I tried to keep him active during the day...I would ask him to jump, run etc and show me how fast, high he could go. I think a lot of it is because they cannot communicate their feelings. We also got him a special night light for his room. He liked that and I think it made him feel special. With some extra TLC my son was back to his normal sleeping patterns in about a month.