Highschool Babysitter

I wouldn't use her again. This has always been one of my concerns and I have drilled it in my girl's heads. They both babysit and one little peep out of a baby and they are running to the room to see what's going on. My youngest can sleep through a tornado alert but if a baby scoots down the bedsheet, she is up and running. I know that everyone is different but I also know that when someone has entrusted you with their child, it's a big deal. Babysitting is a lot more important and critical job than many take it to be. My girls know to call 911 in an emergency but they also know what to do if 911 doesn't get there quickly enough.

There are plenty of teenage girls that want to work. Find one that you feel comfortable with. She's out there somewhere.

M.

If the kid was that dead to the world I would have to wonder if she had been drinking or taking drugs.

Nope. I wouldn't use her. I wouldn't mind a babysitter taking a little nap as long as my kids were asleep, but she would have to be able to wake up easily if there was any noise. Being completely knocked out, dead to the world isn't okay. I don't even sleep that deeply when I'm in my own bed sleeping at night. I always have an ear on the kids. All moms do really. I need a babysitter that has this ability OR the ability to stay awake. One or the other. Period.

If she is awake when the baby is awake, she is fine. You and your husband sleep when the baby sleeps too. If someone broke into the house, there is nothing she could do if she were awake either! Tell her to always keep the house locked, and it is only ok to sleep after the kiddo is asleep. If you are concerned about her not hearing the baby, get a monitor and have her turn it up. If she is good with the baby, I would keep her. Good sitters are hard to find!

I don't think she deliberately "went to bed" so to speak, on your couch. I bet she just drifted off. I babysat alot when I was a teenager and remember 'drifting off' on the couch and being asleep when the parents returned. I have also used high school girls on occassion and it has happened to me and I didn't really give it much thought. Although, I never left a high schooler in charge of them when they were infants. You called your daughter a baby, I am only assuming here.

I thought you were going to say that she had her boyfriend over or a couple friends.

I don't think a high school babysitter should have the "mom insticts". But this is your call about her sleeping while babysitting. If you don't want her to do that anymore I think you should just let her know before you give her the boot. If someone did break in whether she was awake or not such a sound sleeper, there probably wouldn't be anything she could do either way, she would have thought it was you coming home before she realized it was a criminal.

I know it's just a babysitting job but I always think letting a person know what they did wrong & give them another chance is the best route rather than never using them again.

I'm assuming that since you were shopping, you weren't out very late or later than expected. If that's the case, then she should NOT be sleeping. You're paying her to watch your child and if she's sleeping she's not doing her job.

I think it would be best to find another sitter.

...and what would a 16 yr old girl have done if someone had broken in and she'd been awake? Use her tae-kwon-do skills or talk him down, Dr. Phil style?

Maybe she's just over-worked at school. Teenagers need something like 10-12 hours of sleep a night.

I think "drifiting" off is one thing, but to me it sounds like she was a little more than drifting. If she's that hard of a sleeper how is a little one (assuming they are old enough to get up by themself) going to wake her if it took you that long to wake her. And if your little one can't get up I would be worried about her not hearing them.

I think giving her another chance is ok as long as you talk to her about it and let her know your concerns about this and let her know you'd rather her not fall asleep while she's there and then give her the choice that if she doesn't think she can do it, then no hard feelings. If your not open enough to talk to her about it, I wouldn't use her again. I personally wouldn't have a problem talking to her about it and giving her another chance.

Falling asleep is NOT okay- you pay her to stay awake and BE THERE, she isn't technically there if she is sleeping. I disagree that a mom said that she could not have done something if someone broke into the house... She could at the very least call for help-or, in many cases, just someone AT the house (awake) scares intruders away. She needs to be able to hear the kids if need-be, be alert, etc. Unfortunately for her, the fact that she's a deep sleeper is the biggest problem. A light sleeper would not really be much of an issue.

Maybe give her ONE warning and let her know you do not want her to fall asleep- you can call her to check on her while you are out. You can even let her know you will be calling later to keep her mind on the fact that she needs to stay awake.

Honestly, I have to say, this isn't the end of the world... She was sleeping. If it bothers you, than let her know that you would prefer she stay awake, invest in a good baby monitor, and let it be at that. If she is a good babysitter, and this is the first issue you have had with her, just let it go...talk with her, and move on.

Honestly, over the years, I have watched kids till 2-3am and no offense, but I am not a late night owl. Although, I do lightly doze, after 12:30-1a, I am really toast, especially after most of the time, working all day long.

Agreeing to babysit at night DOESN"T mean that she isn't human. I mean, think about it, would you be able to sit idol on the couch watching tv wihtout dozing late at night for hours on end???

I generally think that finding good babysitters is tough. So if you've always liked her in the past, I personally wouldn't let this one thing make you write her off immediately. I would talk to her and try to find out more -- is she always a really deep sleeper? Did something unique happen the night before that kept her up all night (meaning it would have been a one-time occurrence)? Is she evasive of your questions (leading you to suspect that drugs or something else might be involved)? I think it would be totally appropriate to tell her that you require she stay awake while she is responsible for your house and child; if she is able and willing to do that, I see no reason to stop using her since this is the first issue you've had.

it sounds like she's not cut out for this particular babysitting situation. she can't help it if she's a heavy sleeper, but you need someone who is a light sleeper in this situation because just about anyone would fall asleep on occasion. if after the baby is in bed is the only time you can go out, i would give her another try and tell her you need her to stay awake. otherwise try an earlier time of day. i'm a light sleeper at times and heavy sleeper at other times so i always turn the baby monitor volume way up if i take a nap in another room.

This reminds me of when I was younger and was bunking with my little brother. I would tell him to climb in bed with me if he woke up, but every morning he was in my parents bed. I never heard him wake up, so I asked my mom 'how do you wake up.' She said 'trust me, you'll wake up when you're a mom.' Well she was right.
Obviously the baby-sitter shouldn't have fallen asleep...I never did. What's you're comfort level with using her again? Any other options? Confirm ending time with her and ask that she stay awake incase child wakes up or be more direct and say for security reasons, the reason she's there.

You need a family dog. If this doesn't normally happen, then she may have been very tired due to some activity she was involved in earlier during the day or didn't sleep good the night before. I wouldn't yell at her or ream her out, but you could gently mention some concern over her safety as well as your child's safety and ask if she's feeling well.

that's a tough one. i don't think sleeping deeply sometimes is necessarily a problem. sometimes my husband and one of my sons get into that deep state (which i envy!) in which it takes a lot to rouse them. do you think it was drug-related?
my first reaction is to suggest that you just talk to her. it may be that it was just an anomaly. if you don't like her answer, if she seems evasive, then you won't be comfortable with her. if that seems too confrontational, then weigh your anxiety over this with what you like about her.
in itself, this doesn't seem a big red flag to me. but each parent is different.
khairete
S.

No, the safety of your daughter and house its more important.

if she were a light sleeper i might consider it, but since she was so difficult to wake up i'd worry that it might happen again and she wouldnt hear if something horrible happened... or even something not so horrible - i'd want her to at least be able to check on my babies if they woke up and started crying!

personally, i wouln't feel comfortable, but its a personal choice. in my opinion, she shouldn't have even been sleeping.

This is ridiculous fire her!!!!!

If you are uncomfortable with her possibly falling asleep and being a deep sleeper who may miss hearing your daughter wake up, then don't use her again. Remember that you and your husband do sleep when your daughter is in the house, but of course, you are paying the babysitter. Did you get home very late? Perhaps only use her if you plan to make it an early night.
I would not consider the possibilty of someone "breaking into" the house. If you think a $5 per hour teenager is going to protect your baby, you are wrong to expect it. If someone broke in, the teen would be hysterical or in shock from fear and your baby will not be on her priority list for $5 per hour then. Unless the "something" happening to your baby was very loud, the teen would not hear it even if she was awake, if your child was sleeping upstairs.

Same thing happened to me with a high school girl. She even fell back asleep after waking and smiling at me. You are not overreacting. Its not safe for the children's sake. Until you have a child of your own and can never sleep without hearing ever peep they make I would not let a sitter sleep on the job. 10:45 is not late enough for me to think she should be passed out on the couch. We havent used our HS girl since. If you really like her maybe there are some house chores and laundry she can do to "keep active" after the baby is asleep.

I would ask her what happened that she was so out of it. If she has no real explaination, i would tell her that i would not need her services any longer. It is not an excuse but if she is on a team and training just don't use her on days she is scheduled to practice.
You might try looking to see if your local hospital has a babysitters course and see if they would recomend one of the students.

bottom line is NO!!!! You hired her to stay awake and watch your child. She didn't and there is no excuse for that. I would also tell your friend. This is extremely irresponsible.

I would tell her that she needs to stay awake if she is going to sit for you. Just explain the difficulty that you had waking her made you afraid that she wouldn't hear the baby. If she can't stay awake then definitely find someone else for night sitting.

you can not be careful enough when it comes to your children. please believe me when I say that the babysitter is not reliable enough to be left alone with your most prized possession. If she sleeps so deeply I would not trust her to look out for my child. Ask your friend if she has had a similar problem with her. Not that this should make a difference as far as your concerned but just to give her a headsup on the situation. And this is a grave situation. You would never forgive yourself if something bad happened.And you would never forget. It would haunt you the rest of your life!