Holding Poop

Updated on August 03, 2010
J.V. asks from Wheaton, IL
11 answers

My daughter potty trained at 22 months, a month after her brother was born. That was when she night trained and started going poop in the potty --she had been mostly day trained since 18 months. After she finally went poop in the toilet, that was the end of it. She was totally reliable, no accidents, even through a really bad case of diarrhea.

She is 28 months now. On July 4th, for the first time in 6 months, she had a poop accident. We were at a BBQ, and I saw her pulling her pants down. She had taken a small piece of poop out of her pants! When we got home, she went fully. Two weeks later, she started having pee accidents every day --she hadn't had any accidents in at least 2 months. Prior to that she would have "explosion "accidents while trying to get her pants down. In any case, after about 5 days of these pee accidents, she and I had a talk and she stopped having them. Two days later, she pooped her pants again. It was the result of her holding, for sure. She hadn't gone the day before, and she was complaining about stomach pains.

She hasn't pooped now in two days. Once yesterday and once today she complained of stomach cramping, I asked her if she felt pressure and needed to poop, she said no. Today she looked like she was going to go in her pants but stopped herself, and when I tried to get her to go potty, she said "no, I'm OK." I didn't push it, but later, when she complained again, my hubby made her go. She just took a pee.

HELP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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So What Happened?

This morning we had a long chat about poop, with me explaining where out body stores it and how it will become hard inside of us and then painful coming out if we don't listen to our body. I then told her if she listened closely to her body and put her poop in the toilet, I'd give her Dora fruit snacks. We then went for a walk outside, and when we came home, within 10 minutes, she took herself off for a poop.

There is something emotional going on here, and I don't know what it is. Her brother has been crawling for a good 5 weeks now, and this all did start when he started to act more like a "person." He is now trying to walk, so I can only imagine what is going to happen when he starts really acting like a person. I try to do at least 1 thing a week alone with her, and I was doing two, so I'm at a loss as to the emotional aspects of this.

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter had this problem as well. Benefiber is great! It's tasteless and you can put it in anything. At that age I only used a teaspoon. I put it in milk, water, sauces, you name it. My daughters are now so in tune with when they haven't pooped they ask for benefiber if they think that I might not have given it to them lately. Also, when you know that she needs to go and she won't, have her sit on the potty and read her a book. That always helped my daughter. It calmed her down while she was sitting there. I think the book would make her stop thinking about holding it and she would just go.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Talk to your ped about the possibility of encopresis and using some Miralax.

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V.L.

answers from Chicago on

Although the other moms' responses are good I'm wondering if this ISN"T a medical issue. At that age although they may seem reliable and totally trained they have little minds that aren't always realizing that, "hey I have to go pee or poo and better stop what I'm doing to go to the potty." Part of our job while training (and it really doesn't stop til they are like 8 years old - my one child had occasional bed-wetting issues into first or second grade) is watching for signs that they have to go and ask them or tell them it's time to go to the potty. Esp at functions like parties, bbqs, Chuckee Cheese, etc. - they don't want to miss anything and would rather hold it or wait and then it comes out coz they can't hold it.

Make a practice of watching for the signs...a strained look on their face, a clutch to the pants, a stare off into space, etc. Also, be sure to have her go before you leave the house, restaurant, park (where ever you are). Ask if she has to go maybe 15 mins after eating and drinking, etc.

The other thing you want to do is not make a big deal of the accidental pee. Shrug it off and say, accidents happen, it's okay. Clean her up and move on. If you make a big deal out of it, that puts more stress on her and she'll remember that causing more accidents.

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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

My son did alot when he was fully potty and poopy trained. He would be playing and then all of a sudden sit down. I never really got an answer from him, but I assume he was having so much fun that he felt pooping could wait. He then started holding it in at daycare and then would have some poop marks on his underwear (which for me was a clear sign he held back). I ended up buying a plastic container and filled it with $1.00 toys. Everytime he pooped at daycare, (and I was told by our daycare provider), he would pick out a toy.

It worked for a long time, but just last week, he did it again. I told him he was now in charge of washing out his underwear and if he did it again, I'll bring him to the doctor and he'll end up getting a shot in his butt. I even talkedk to his doctor in front of him his doctor was cool about it and agreed that if he continues to hold it in, he'll get sick and will need a shot.

Like you, I've tried explaining that he couldn't hold back an the more he does that, the harder it will be for him to go and he'll get sick. But, for what ever reason, it didn't sink in, but the prizes and the treat of getting a shot seems to work (oh and he hates washing out his underwear).

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

When she holds it, it probably hurts when she does poop, which starts the cycle over again. Feed her raisins or give her some juice everyday. Apple juice always worked with my kids. Also, it might help to figure out when she is most likely to go - most kids have a pattern - and try to get her into the potty then.

Good luck!

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R.B.

answers from New York on

My daughter used to hold her poop and it lead to a huge problem. One time she did not poop for 13 days even though we were giving her prune juice and other poop aids. We got a book called "It Hurts When I Poop" which helped. Every child is different but it might help?

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

If I recall correctly this is really normal as far as they get older and are so afraid they will miss something, or get so involved that they do not have time to go 'poop'. Under the circumstances and the best that you can however, help her to understand that it is sloppy, it definitely can hurt and she will have to change her clothes, etc. I wouldn't make it a big deal, unless there is a physical problem which it doesn't sound like, she will eventually go to school and kids definitely don't like it when others have accidents, so she will know that she can't hold it in until there is a problem. In the meantime, keep doing what you ar doing, without much fanfare. Believe me, this too will pass. ut oh, that was unintentional...teehee. Good luck, you are a great mom.

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J.T.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter has trouble with constipated poops and my son has a condition called encopreses (pooping in his pants), our G.I. dr. recommended Fleet Laxative strips, they are very gentle on the body. Box said 6 hours to work, I would said more like 12-16 hours, but they work, without being scary. They can help her go on a more regular basis, I give them at night before bed. The only place I have found them is at Jewel and they are a strip not a pill.

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son has issues on and off w/ pooping as well.

I think his is tied to a gluten intolerance. So, at home I limit the amount of gluten we eat. His, luckily, is not bad enough that we need to avoid it all the time, altogether. Limiting it at home has made a difference, even if we eat out at times. He's much more comfortable pooping now.

Who knows, give it a try?

Also, try to get fruit into her as much as you can.

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C.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would purchase some prunes and raisins and chocolate raisins. . Tell her they are a special snack.

When I was potty training my middle child and he would hold the poop in I would start feeding him prunes about twenty minutes before he would sit on the toilet.
Once he was on the toilet I would put chocolate covered raisins in his mouth. She will not be able to hold it in if she eats the prunes. Good luck.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Denise P has the best response so far.

It sounds like she's developed encopresis. I learned about it here, and our 2 year-old has it.

It's part physical and part emotional. Essentially, in our case, bad constipation made our daughter withhold it, and we have been working with her for MONTHS on retraining her not to be afraid.

In Encopresis, they withhold their poop to the point that the liquid portion leaks and leave a very hard, condensed stool. We've been working with our pediatrician using Miralax (you'll want to have this discussion to know how much to use) daily and praising her when she does go to reassure her it's OK.

Here's some information for you:
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/cond...

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