Holding "Summer Birthday" Children Back from Kindergarten

I am the "child" in this case. I wish so badly I had been held back to start with the next class. I was allowed to go to the advanced grade because of where my birthdate fell. I was always smaller, less developed physically and emotionally. It was very hard on me. I was an outcast and picked on mercilessly. If you want my advice. Don't rush it! It really cast a negative light on my entire educational experience. It took till half way through highschool for me to stop believing something was wrong with me and that I was a "loser".

My birthday is at the end of August. I was held back in 4th grade. I probably was ready to start school. I struggle a little bit with my grades but I think it was because I was not socially ready. Kids teased me too. I'll say it was much harded to be held back in 4th grade, than to wait to start Kindergarten. But it was the best decision. My grades improved and I was much more confident. I will definitely wait to start my daughter. Her birthday is August 1st.

My kids are entering 3rd & 5th Grade now, so I've had a few years to see their friends and classmates after making "the decision." I remember when the kids were all 4 years old... the talk of the playground was "should I have them start kindergarten this year, or wait a year."

My 5th grader has a January bday... so easy... no decision to make.

My 3rd grader has a June bday. But I honestly thought, she's smart, gets along socially with her peers, and knows how to follow directions. So we started her right after she turned 5.

The problem is, as you stated, the huge age difference with her classmates - and that only gets bigger! Because Texas allows for all kids born after March 1st (I believe) to wait a year to begin school, some of her classmates are MORE than a year older than her. One of her close friends turned 9 in April, while she was still 7 (turned 8 last month). That's 14 months! And when a teacher has 20 kids in the classroom, they can't always give one student the extra attention they may need.

Don't get me wrong... she's doing OK, but it's a lot harder for her than some of the other kids. And I worry about 3rd grade. It's a big year for elementary kids. Teachers cut the apron strings and expect a lot more independence.

Bottom line: In speaking with parents a few years after kindergarten, only the ones that had their child go to Kindergarten when they were younger second-guess their decision - all of the moms who held their kids back for a year until they were a little older seem happy with their decision.

Good luck! I know this is a tough decision.
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I was on October baby and even though I was past the cut-off, I went to 1st grade when I was 5 (didn't go to kindergarten). I did just fine. Yes, I was probably one of the last in my class to get my license, but I really didn't care. I played sports with no problems. I was always in the top of my class and I even graduated a semester early. The great part was that after I graduated I was still young enough to go on high school exchange program and got to spend a year in France.
As a Kindergarten teacher, I have seen it both ways. This past year I had two kids with end of August birthdays. One of them (a girl) did extremely well and ended up near the top of the class in reading, writing and math. The boy did not fare so well and will be repeating kindergarten. Follow your instinct....a mother knows best!

I think you have your answer- you saw in pre-school what a difference those few months make for an older kid. Let her be the older kid. School is much more challenging today than when we moms were there. I hope you and your daughter enjoy the year!

My son's birthday is late July so he is one of those younger kids. We are holding him back and he will be in the bridge class at the Discovery School in NRH. I've never heard of someone being upset that they held their kids back but I've heard of people being upset that they pushed forward. In my view, its an extra year for your child to grow and mature. If you are concerned, call your elementary school and speak with the kinder teachers and the principal. That's what we did and now we are more comfortable with our decision to hold back. Good luck!

I work at an elementary school and I can tell you that all four of our kindergarten teachers would advise you to wait a year! She has her whole life ahead of her- just having turned 5 at the beginning of kindergarten will put her at the younger end of her classmates. (Although the kinder. teachers admit that for boys it's much more important for them to be old enough). But since you're saying you think she's emotionally not exactly ready, then I think the kindergarten teachers would agree to wait until sh has just turned 6.
ALL THAT BEING SAID.... I was born Oct 3 and I went to kindergarten as a 4 year old! (We lived in California- the rules were different) And I graduated at 17 and had NO PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER. I was valedictorian, too. But my Mom felt like I was ready for kindergarten and I was. I was always one of the youngest classmates but it didn't bother me any. The only problems came in middle school when all my friends were starting their periods and I wasn't so I thought something was wrong with me!

I did the same thing with my son. He technically could have started Kindergarten last year, but I chose to hold him back and have had several people question my decision. I think it is a decision that I will be happy with. I think if you hold them back, there will be little chance of regrets...but if you start them now, there is a chance that at some point down the road (maybe not until 3rd of 4th grade) that you MIGHT regret it.
Plus, I got to spend another whole year with him at home!!!
Also, b/c of her birthday, you basically have two choices--she will either be the very youngest in her class, or the very oldest. Those are your only two options. I would opt for being the oldest. I have an August birthday, too and was always the youngest...hated it. I was the last to drive, the last to date, etc... Plus, I graduated when I was 17 and therefore went off to college when I was 17....NOT a good idea to send 17 year old off to college with no supervision really. :-)
Another "plus" for holding them back is for sports....she'll always be a little bit ahead of everyone else...
Good luck!!!
~B.

My older sister was a late August child and my parents started her on time. She did great. She fit in with a wider group of kids -- some older and some younger. My daughter is a late August baby as well and we started her on time, too. She was ready even though she was an only child. I worked with her at home on reading and writing before she started. She's always been big for her age, so physically there was no difference -- she was always one of the biggest kids in class. I did notice that in sports, etc, she tended to make friends with the "younger" girls more than the "older" girls. Of course, we're talking about months difference only. Her cousin who is a month older and small for her age, has done wonderfuly in school, too. She was a bit less social before starting school but has had made many friends easily. She also does well academicaly. I think it would have been a mistake to hold any of them back a year. They were all ready to start school both socialy and academicaly.

It is called academic redshirting. A local mom/reporter did a story on it for Burb Mom last spring: http://www.burbmom.net/academic-redshirting/

I was really interested in it because I held back my 5 year old last year from Kindergarten because I really felt like he was not ready. He is really smart, but the maturity and ability to sit still wasn't there. I assumed we would just have him go to Kindergarten this year (he has a June birthday). When he went through his Kindergarten readiness testing this spring he scored really high. He has matured aLOT during that extra year at home and we have decided to send him on to first grade this fall. I have been working with him this summer on Kindergarten stuff so he isn't behind.

I really think you need to go with your "gut" on this. You know your kid better than anyone. There is no downside to an extra year at home if that is what you think is best!

I totally agree with Melissa! I was the same. I am a September baby and I did not fit in. I was the class valedictorian, so it wasn't that I couldn't keep up with the work, but emotionally I was not on their level. It follows you through life.

My daughter has the some birthday (but is now 9). We let her go on to school, but she had been in a school setting at a church preschool since she was 2. She has done fine and has A's and B's in a Montessori program that is somewhat accelerated.There was a boy in her class whose bday was the end of Aug. His parents had him go to the K class at the church and then was going to decide at the end of his kindergarten year. Thier thinking was that if he went on to the first grade then they would put him into public school, but if he wasn't ready then they could put him in K in the public school and he would be left behind by his friends.
It really is a case by case basis and you should go with your guts and if she has been in preschool talk to her teacher. By the way the boy went on to 1st grade.

I have taught middle school for 11 years and I can tell a difference in ages then. I know that is a long way off from pre-k vs k, but it is worth thinking about. After about a month of school I can line up my students by age without looking at their birthdates. It is that obvious. It is super key with boys but I also see it with girls. They may do fine in class work, but the younger ones struggle with social issues more. They tend to get in trouble more and don't interact with peers as well. And in sports they are smaller and tend to seem behind. Now, I am sure someone can find an exception, but that is what I see 85% of the time. I tell all my friends to keep their summer/early fall babies back. And I will do the same with my kids.
There you have my 2 cents.

A down the road experience. My son's b-day in in March. When he started school he was not ready immature his whole life. But what happened later was he was 18 before he finished High School and walked and never finished. We had no control because he was an adult. So beware. My b-day is in Aug and I was the young one in school. I graduated at 17 but it was hard. Everyone was older and I am dylexice so hard. Just thought I would give you heads up for the future. It can go either way. I almost flunked 3rd grade but we studied all summer and I was put up. G. W

My sons's birthday is August 27th (he will be 6) and we held him back without hesitation. I think for a boy, it is even more of an issue since, in general, they develop slower anyway...plus he is an only child so social development is always a concern. He's a smart little guy and we are looking forward to great success in Kindergarten. We are attending a private school - Southwest Christian School in SW Fort Worth and we just finished a 3 day Pre-K program last year and it was great. He would have been a great candidate for the 5 day Pre K program, but I just wanted him home with me a little bit more for our last year before "real school" started. It is great that he's already in the school routine so adding 2 days to his school day should go well for us.

Best wishes as you make this decision for your daughter. I can tell you that I've NEVER talked to a parent that held their child back that regretted it, but I have heard of those that weren't held back that had regrets.

Bottom line for me was that I was NOT going to send a 17 year old away to college.

It all depends on the kiddo. Girls are usually ahead of boys at this age, so girls can be ready, but if you have any questions, it certainly doesn't hurt anything to hold them back for a year. Put them in a quality preschool or mother's day out program and they will be more ready next year than they are now. I am a teacher, and I can tell you first hand that a lot of our kids that struggle do have early birthdays. And, I have seen the smartest in the class with early birthdays. So again, it is really an individual thing.

I really think this decision is on an individual basis. I was a June baby and I started school at 5 and I never felt younger and never felt like I didn't belong. I got through school great and loved it. It all depends on the maturity level of the child.

I have an 8 yr old who was born in April and she was so ready I wouldn't have even thought about holding her back and shes doing great in school. I also have a 14yr old December baby. Starting school at almost 6 was the best. Shes so much more mature than some of the other kids in her grade. And now I have a 4 yr old who will be 5 on Sept 15 and even if she hadnt missed the cut off by 2 weeks I still would of held her back a year. Shes just not mentally ready to sit still in school. I am putting her in preschool for 3 days a week this year and I'm sure shell be ready to go next year.

Take a step back and look at you daughter. Can she sit still for a few hrs at a time and can she socialize with other children. Does she tend to be a leader of the group and not a follower. If so then I would start her. If not hold her back. A year can make a huge difference.

You have received a lot of good advice here. I also think you should go with your gut instinct. No one knows your daughter like you do. My youngest daughter's birthday is August 28 and we went ahead and started her in Kindergarten at 4. We felt she was emotionally ready. She is the youngest of three girls and had regularly attended a good preschool. She really has not struggled any and does very well in all areas, including friends. She's definitely small compared to some of her friends, but she's not the smallest. In fact, she uses her size to her advantage such as being a flyer on the cheerleading squad, etc. I don't regret starting her early even though there were times that I have second guessed our decision, like when she started middle school at 10 (6th grade is middle school in our district). Otherwise, no regrets. Again, just go with what you feel is right for your child.