How Am I Doing with My 3 Yr Old and 6 Month Old??

Yes you're doing great! Too bad little boys dont thanks us enough! I had a very active three yr old boy and once a day I would pop him in the old high chair and tell him it was art time. He had crayons, paper and scissors and could make a big mess without me worrying about him cutting anything else or writing on the walls. He never chose these quiet activities but I just made it matter of fact as if the clock said it was art time. that way he developed some fine motor skills. Maybe this will keep him busy for ten minutes, explain the little one needs to work on his little muscles and he needs to work on his little muscles. Try to make it special with new colored pencils one day, and stickers the next and play dough the next, make a big deal these are only for BIG boys....

Actually, to me it sounds like you're doing great! I wouldn't beat yourself up because you sound like a real attentive, great mom.

Sounds like you're doing fine. Some 3yo's give up their nap already. Just keep doing the quiet time, looking at books or something laying down is okay (but stop the tv, it gets their brains going and makes it harder to fall asleep). And his wanting to play with his brother like this is normal (even if not ok). Just keep distracting him from baby's tummy time. Give him something special to do. If he won't leave brother alone, he can play in his room for a while. But keep giving him chances.
Does the 3yo help with baby? Like getting diapers and wipes, etc. My 3yo loved feeding her baby brother with a spoon (once he was a bit confident with it) and it was so precious, but it may not work with your son. But give him jobs to do, even if its just making silly faces to keep baby happy while you mix the food.
And, I'm sure you are very aware, don't leave them together unsupervised :D

Hang in there, it seems overwhelming at this stage. But there does come a point where you get to sit back and watch them play and think - how did they become such good friends? (I've finally gotten there, when the boys were about 5 and 7 I think)

I think you're handing this very well. Just be patient and consistent and he will get better. My 7 year old acts the same way (believe it or not) out of jealousy over my 3 month old. My two older ones took naps until Kindergarten but my three younger ones stopped naps pretty quickly after a year old. Hang in there and keep up the good work. You're a great mom and it will get easier in no time! Congratulations on your little one and good luck to you!

you are doing great! I have my kids 2 yrs and 4 mths apart...I went through the same stuff...you just have to keep reminding your 3yo about space...

As for the nap, I would encourage you to keep the quiet time up, but have your 3yo in his room at the time, with a little natural light and no TV...he can read, play quietly, or lay down and relax. Watching TV doesn't really give them a chance to recharge. I am not against TV, just not at rest/bed time.

You are almost through the clear. Soon they will be running around playing together and you will wonder when your babies turned into kids. I know I did. They are 3 and 5 now and I just love how close they are and how much fun they have together...I just miss my babies too. :)

Best of luck to you!!!

I like the story time with the 3 year old. If he can't be calm around the baby, he has a choice of sitting quietly for a story or going to his room. I kind of have that issue with my 3 month old and 2 year old, but not to your extent yet.

Hi J. B,

Yes, this is completely normal and there is no single "correct" way to handle it. You might gather ideas to try from all these great posts and from your own instincts. Choose your favorite and use it CONSISTENTLY.

For example, you might try "floor time" for the baby and "Mommy / (older son's name here)" time for you. You and your son can brainstorm some sit-down activities for you and the three year old to do while the baby is on the floor. Get your son to notice what the baby is doing while you sit together. At other times in the day, the 3 year old could do some activity by himself (which encourages independent play), while you monitor him and the baby.

Another suggestion that worked great when my kids were young was to lay down chairs, cushions, etc. to block off a safe area for the baby to play in. Be sure to child-proof it and put some of baby's favorite toys in there. You can invite your 3 year old to help locate it and build it. Then the 3 year old should ask before going in with the baby and then only with your close supervision.

Do you get the 3 year old to help (check on the baby, get diapers, comfort baby, etc?) All of this helps instill the love of a big brother and can turn the mind to that of caregiver instead of pain-giver.

Your instincts are right in keeping both kids safe from harm. You cannot allow your 3 year old to think rough play around the baby is okay. So if the fun or "good time" ideas don't work, give a firm and reasonable consequence. To some degree, it sounds like your 3 year old is testing your resolve to keep him from being rough with the baby.

In all areas, if you are consitant in whatever you do and in the limits you set, your 3 year old should settle down and listen.

I'd love to hear how this goes.

Take care,
Parent Coach J. B

Oh My goodness J.. You sound wonderful! Keep going!

I would suggest mothers day out or pre-school. You have a live wire there that needs lots of stimulation. I think that would be good for him and give you more time with the baby.

That you even are doubting yourself tells me you are so on top of it and wanting to be the great Mom you already are. Trust those instincts. They sound perfect to me!

Yes! At 3 he understands the concepts of cause and effect. Stick with it and be consistent. That is the key! He will get a clue. You may want to add something like- I am going to put your brother on the floor so he can play. Why don't you go pick out a book to read or a game to play while he is on the floor and see if that doesn't help. Remind him of the consequences if he gets out of hand.

You are doing a great job! Do not stress. I have 3 boys and the sibling rivalry can get out of hand sometimes (especially when the older one gets to do things the younger ones can't- or vice versa!).

My kids are the same age, but baby is eight months tomorrow. I totally feel you! The lo is trying to crawl, he is sitting himself up from laying down, but he constantly wants to be practicing this! My bigger one (my girl) just jumps around him, kicks the ball, puts things in his face. Sometimes I feel the only thing that keeps her away is TV, but I really try to limit that to when I need to cook dinner or something like that. Mostly I find myself doing floor time with them and trying to roll the ball to him and play something with her at the same time. How do moms do it??? I try to put him in the pak n play or the exercauser for short periods of time but of course he really wants to be playing on the floor. One thing that helps SOMETIMES is I take them both to the park, bring a blanket and sit there with him while she runs around and does her "outside play time". Of course then she wants me to push her on the swing. It's such a balancing act. Just hang in there. I'm trying to! I can't wait for my daughter to start pre-school next month so the time is divided up!

It sounds like you are doing great! My son was just under 3 when my daugher was 6 mo. This is all so normal. Can you have your baby have floor time in a gate, and have your son play with him from the outside of the gate? This may be fun for him. I'm almost afraid having him be in his room could increase any jealousy issues. Can you come up w/ a creative game your son can play w/ the baby while the baby is on the floor...like have him show the baby how to crawl or scoot (without touching him)? Maybe your son can read books while your baby has floor time. If nothing like this works, then I guess he may need cool down time in his room. Very soon they will become the best of friends. My son is 4 & daughter is 21mo. and they play together soooo well. It's so cute, and it starts happening sooner than you can imagine!

Instead of the room maybe timeout in the same room with you and 6mo brother. He will see that the little brother is learning to crawl etc. and it may teach him to let him do this. Worth a try. Boys and wild dogs are alot alike been there with them.

Sounds like you are doing a great job and this is all so typical. One thing I might suggest is putting your 3 yo in Mother's Day out a couple of times a week. He could probably use the structure and interaction with other kids his age. Not to mention, getting away from "this baby" that has turned his life upside down. :) Having two children is far more challenging than 1 because you have all of the same issues you have with a single child but the jealousy and fighting factor changes everything. Keep doing what you are doing, however, make sure you are not expecting too much from your 3 yo. Don't make it seem like a punishment (which it doesn't really sound like you are). If you have a fun little corner or closet you can decorate with stuffed animals, photos stuck to the wall, etc.. Have little games or trinkets he can play with there. Come up with a really fun name for it. Your bunny hole, secret closet, etc. When he's too wound up, send him there for some quiet fun. As for what you are doing with quiet time, keep up the good work. I wish I had of required my two kids to do this from the get go. Encourage your kids to love each other. As the little one gets older, he will not be a perfect angel either. Do not allow them to hit each other, speak unkindly to each other or call each other names. You will feel like a broken record, getting after them all of the time. Encourage them to do certain activities together. Have craft time and ask them to make each other a decoration to give their brother for his bedroom. Have them hug goodnight and say I love you. Lastly, as they get older, the jealousy will continue and the arguing will certainly increase 10 fold! However, it is our job as mom's to encourage a nice relationship between the two. My two love each other plenty but also fight like cats and dogs. It usually depends on their level of boredom!

Every child is different when it comes to naps. I think the quiet time is perfect. My daughter wouldn't takes naps either. I tried forcing and of course it didn't work so a quiet time sounds really good to me. wish I would have thought of that. I would of had 30 min. of peace! Its good you are discipling your child. Children should know that there are rules and they have to follow them or be punished.