Hi T.. Sorry, I didn't see you question until now. My first daughter was totally capable of using the potty at 2.5 yrs, but was NOT interested either. At the time, she loved Disney princesses (still does at age 4). Anyway, I went to Macy's and bought a few outfits with princesses on them, mostly pink, and laid them out on my bed. When she saw them and asked about them, I acted like I hadn't meant for her to see them. I told her that they were big-girl clothes that could only be worn with underwear, and that whenever she was ready to use the potty and wear underwear, she could have them. She decided she was ready right away. She certainly had a few accidents, but she never went back to diapers during the day. She knew that if she got an outfit wet/dirty, she only had 1 or 2 princess outfits left for that day. #2 in the potty took a couple weeks longer. If it would help you to know any of the approaches we used, let me know.
I just went through potty training with my second daughter, who is 2 yrs 3 mo. She was tougher because she didn't have such an obvious currency as her sister. She was home for a week from pre-school a few weeks ago, so we decided that the time was right. She was clearly capable, but similarly, wasn't interested. So, one day I made a potty poster, which was a huge piece of hot pink posterboard with a neon rainbow ribbon around it. I put an envelope above it with some very special stickers in it that she could see but not reach (Backyardigan's stickers, glittery hearts and flowers, etc). Every time she went pee pee, she could put a sticker on the poster. For #2, I put a box up high with special 'poo poo prizes' in it, that I would let her look at whenever she wanted, but couldn't play with. (The prizes were BAckyardigans beanie babies and books, since she loves that TV show). There were about 12 prizes in the box, and since she had earned them all, she hasn't needed rewards! We're still using the potty poster 3 weeks later, but mostly because it's fun. Oh, the other thing that really helped was a fun little time that we have. Part of the problem we had been having was that any time I asked her if she wanted to go potty, the answer was a prompt NO. I started setting the 'potty timer', and when it would go off, we would all run yelling and screaming for the potty. (My oldest daughter helped lots with this). Somehow, hearing the timer had her feel like it was her idea to go, and it removed the control issue. We also had #2 challenges with her, but we seem to have worked through them for the most part by now.
Sorry for writing a novel, but I hope my stories help. i think that you're right that you need to back off, but sometimes you can inspire your little one to take the initiative. :) If there is any other advice you feel I can offer, I'm here! Good luck!