How Do Have Your 3 Yr Old Stop Swearing

You need to tell him what he CAN say in that situation....and then practice it with him; reward him when he says the new, more appropriate word.

he's so little that he's still very teachable...but just saying 'no' or 'don't' doesn't stick. You have to teach him what he can/should do.

Try giving him different words to say...something a little silly even. My 3 year old used to say "oh my God." We didn't like that so instead I encouraged him to say "Oh my DINOSAURS!" Try FARTS (that might not be better) or something that doesn't sound like it. Maybe SLAM IT! or OH CHICKENS! I'm just coming up with these off the top of my head. Talk to him about how it isn't appropriate to say those words and ask him to say other things. Good luck.
L.

I think you might be giving it too much attention. When kids (especially 3 yr old boys...I have one, too) see that something gets under your skin, they file it away in a special place to bring out when they get bored or just want to cause a reaction. As someone else said, I would just tell him that you don't like that word - it's not a word we say and then ignore it after that. Eventually he will stop using it if he gets no reaction. I know you don't know where he picked it up, but if you can, try to limit his exposure to other people who do swear - and/or ask the other people in his life to clean up their speech around him. Example is the single biggest factor in how children speak. I get a window into how I talk by listening to my kids - they're little parrots!

My kids did that too about that same age. I stopped swearing myself & that helped some but they already had the words in their vocab to try out. It's for shock value. I just calmly reminded them "oh, we don't say that word" & I'd make up a silly nonsense word for them to say instead. And then I moved on with my day. The first time each of them did it at my sister-in-law's house they all thought it was soo funny & had a great laugh out of it. Didn't help my cause any AT ALL. Eventually it got boring to them & they stopped doing it. You've just got to wait it out & ignore it. Give him new words to say instead & don't act like it's a big deal.

Great suggestions, but I just want to stress that kids have to know it is ok to be mad and frustrated, but they need to be taught appropriate ways to deal with it. My daughter is a fan of Spongebob and he uses the work "tartar sauce" when he is furstrated. She started using it and correcting us even when we said things like "darn"! Try to talk to him about it when it isn't actually happening, talk about how he is going to be a big guy heading to school and the teachers and kids will be sad to hear him saying things like that. Be patient; he does want to make you proud of him! Good luck!

Hi B.,
I do not think any of the punishment methods are going to work. He is doing it for shock value. He gets a response when he uses those words. I would suggest that you tell him that no one likes to hear those words and that you will listen when he uses appropriate words. Say that, calmly, every time this happens. Be very consistant. He does not get what he wants, EVER, if he uses that language. Do not give in. If you give in once then he knows he can push it.
The most important thing to remember is that no behavior change happens quickly or easily. This will take a lot of diligence on your part. He has to know that this is an important limit.
Good luck, B.

I see that you have tried punishments.....have you actually talked to him about why the words are inappropriate?

If you have talked to him about this in addition to the disciplining, I recommend finding out if he remembers where he heard the words and then going to the source.

BTW...When I was growing up, I got soap in the mouth when I used a bad word and knew it was wrong to say. Good luck!

Make it a GREAT day!

S.

Actually, Head Start might be helpful in this. You have a power struggle on your hands. Unhappily, your li'l guy could have picked those words up anywhere - television, radio, neighbors, friends - and they give him power over his mom! He probably likes making you react. He may even believe the words are fun to say because of that. It's not so much the words (they're bad enough) as the defiance. It also sounds as if you don't have anybody else on your side to back you up. The Head Start teachers may be those people. They've surely had this situation before. So talk to them before school starts if you can. When li'l guy discovers that those words don't work the way he'd like them to work at school, he's going to lose interest in them. What else he comes up with is another question. Gotta love three-year-olds!

I was really getting sick of my son's garbage language and cursing every time something didn't go his way. He wasn't doing it for shock value anymore-- it had become a habit and a way to express his frustration. I put a dab of hot sauce in his mouth for the worst words. I really had to be on top of it though and be consistent with the punishing, which can be hard if they are cursing a lot. He started using milder curses, which I was so relieved about but it still wasn't how I wanted him to behave. So one day I had him put a dry bean in a jar for every curse or rude thing he said so that he could see how much he was really doing it. He was surprised at how many beans were in the jar at the end of the day. He didn't realize it was so much. We had a little talk about language and respect and changing our behavior. The next day there were much fewer beans and each day it got better to where we didn't need to keep track. A 3 yr old might find putting beans in a jar fun, so you might want to come up with a little different method. Now, when my son wants to curse the world for something not going his way, I just remind him that it is not something to curse about and try to help him solve his problem. If he doesn't stop right away, time out works now because we got over the worst of it. Good luck!

We went through this with our now 5 year old, and it did take a little while, but what we did was just keep telling him those are words that adults use. We let him know it was normal for people to say them, but that only when you're an adult. We didn't actually punish him when he would say one, but we'd talk to him and remind him he was using an adult word and he was not an adult yet.

The other thing that I was told to try, that actually seemed to work also, was letting him know that if he really felt the need to try saying those words he could do it in his bedroom when he was alone. That way we weren't telling him he absolutely couldn't do it - which would just encourage him to do it more - but we limited the times and places when he could say it. We did tell him that we did not want to hear those words, so if he chose to say them he had to go to his room and be by himself (meaning he couldn't just say them anywhere in the house, or if anyone was with him). There were a few times he let me know he had said the F word when he was in his room (and I let him know that was ok), but overall he got through this phase without too much trouble and we didn't have any problems with him swearing when he started preschool.

Now he's aware of what "naughty" words are and who is allowed to say them. He even lets us (and others) know when someone says one, but we haven't had any recent problems with him feeling the need to use them himself.

Good luck!