How Do I Encourage Hubby?

Tell him what you told us -- that you appreciate his work at home but you're worried for HIS sake that he should start working soon. Studies have shown that men actually get clinically depressed when they have long terms of unemployment b/c their identity is so wrapped up in their careers. I'm actually going through the same thing with my hubby. Sigh. It's hard. Just be sure to push him and let him know its for his sake, not your own. You value him, you appreciate him and he is NOT letting you down. But for his own good, he needs to be proactive about finding a job. Best of luck,

You are the provider now and he's the stay at home dad. It's exactly the same as most of us one here, just the gender reversal. Many stay at home moms feel how he feels.

I agree though, most of the 'good' men out there truly want to provide for their families and have a harder time staying home. My husband was laid off and got very depressed from it, and it's not his personality type at all. Just remind him how appreciative you are and work together on coming up with a long term plan so he won't feel lost, as well as doing some budgeting to help you all figure out your finances.

If he can't find work right now that wouldn't offset the cost of daycare, perhaps he can find a night shift somewhere, or even volunteer with the mrc (medical reserve corp), or casa (court appointed special advocates for battered children) or red cross or something... anything to help him get out and still feel valuable on a social level. Plus, the extra networking may help him open doors for employment.

He can get free career counseling through my church. They help all people, regardless of their religion or background and there is no obligation for them to go to the church ever:

some of the resources:
https://www.ldsjobs.org/ers/ct/stakes---wards.jsf?name=jo...

here's a center near you:
https://www.ldsjobs.org/ers/center/find_center.jsf

I would ask him what he needs. It sounds like he might have some cabin fever which helps lead to the depression. Does he need to get out of the house and go to a low paying job? Does he need to do some career counseling? I would let him guide what he needs to do and encourage whatever that is. If he was a layabout that wasn't looking for work, I might advise differently, but if he has been trying unsucessfully, he needs to determine if working outside of the home is what he needs, or if he just needs to feel more self-worth at home and wait for the right job.

My husband has gone through the gambit of jobs over the time that we were dating, living together and now married. He is finally in a job that he likes and that suits him well. He flat out asked me if I would look for jobs for him (he isn't super online savvy). I performed the job search and together we did up the resume and cover letter.

I think that stay at home dads are becoming more and more common. I dont know how this would work for you. It might be a long shot but maybe see if he wants to get into some sporatic volunteer work. Habitat for Humanity, or maybe hooking up with a local church to do some volunteering. Volunteering is something that can be done on the weekend. Its not only do something for someone else but will give him a boast of ego.

Good luck!

I can totally relate to this my husband has been out of work since March at first it was great because he was home is was still warm he played with the kids in the pool and outside but now it is cold and they are stuck in house and tensions are starting to rise. We have savings and I work so we are making the bills but he is starting to feel the same way. In order to keep unemployment you have apply for so many jobs per week. Just ask him to make sure he does that or if they audit they will retract it. Other than that I dont know how approach them if you figure it out let me know.