How Do I Get Her to Wipe Her Own Bottom?

I'm with Donna S. You're sending her the message that she isn't capable. I know some kids have issues with wiping their bottoms but I've NEVER heard of a girl not wiping themselves after peeing. How bad a job could she possibly do?? Boys dont wipe at all. Are you teaching her she isnt capable in other areas as well? Let her grow up Mama!

Hi, Mama:

Did you realize that your attitude is why she still calls you to help her?

"I don't think she does a great job when she does it...."

How about saying to her: "You do it and I'll watch."
After she does it., tell her: "You did a great job, I knew
you could do it!"

If she doesn't do it well and there are stains in her underwear, get
a spray bottle and spray the area that is dirty and put it in the wash.
Good luck. You can do it.
D.

My nearly 4 y/o will ask me to do it as well but I believe it's more about getting more attention than anything else. I showed her the proper way by putting my hand on hers while she held the TP and had her go through the motion. I keep saying "front to back and then let go" (She kept wanting to go back and forth : P ) When she asks me to do it I just tell her, "You are a big girl now and I know you can do it. Do your best and if you still need help let me know and then I'll come."

The only way for them to get good at it is for them to keep practicing :)

Good luck :)

We had this issue, as well, when my daughter was your daughter's age. Although she did fine on wiping after peeing, her little arm literally could not reach around to wipe her backside after pooping. So I helped w/ that. I will say that flushable wet wipes are a godsend; dry toilet paper just doesn't cut it on the backside. I guess the Europeans really have it right w/ their bidets...

Oh--I had O. of those! LOL

O. day, when my son was getting a bath, I asked him, "What will you do if you have a kid that wants you to keep wiping his butt?" He said "I'll tell him that I'll wipe his butt as long as he wipes mine!" Viola! Brilliance!
Worked for me.

We picked his "Independence Day" in advance. Made sure wet wipes were available in both bathrooms and that was it.

Good luck!

I just bought some toddler wipes for my little guy for this reason.
He's ocasionally interested in wiping himself, so I showed him the wipes and told him they were just for him.

I've read that for those that are stubborn, one of the most effective ways to do it is to refuse to wipe them yourself, and let them get itchy and feel dirty.
So, that's the route I'm taking.

Have her do it first and then you can check and make sure she's clean. When she's doing well consistently, you can stop helping her.

My daughter learned to dab not wipe at 3. Her butt at 4. Her dr said wiping could irritate her skin. She can use toilet paper or we buy those flush able wet wipes. When I first started teaching her I would act a bit goofy and sing dabby Abbie while she wiped. She will start pre k or kindergarten soon and she will need to wipe both areas so you definitely need to work with her.

My daughter is four as well. I still help her wipe first thing in am, after a poo, and before bed. OTW the rest of the day she does it herself. She was a little hesitant at first and the first time I looked in the toilet and saw how much toilet paper she used I had to giggle a little and then explain to her that we'd plug it up and make a bigger mess, that 2-4 small wipes would be fine. In the beginning when she started she wanted to do it herself and did great but after a couple of days was starting to get a bit red. So at her 4yr checkup I asked the dr about it and he said to just keep helping her to make sure that it's clean and dry. I tell her the same thing as one of the other posters that when she goes to school, she will have to do both, pee and poo by herself. No one can help her. I've been signing her up for classes at our local zoo that are over 2 hrs long and told her that if she had to go, she'd have to do it by herself and she is totally fine with it. Maybe you can just start and say every other time you go, Mom can help or Mom can watch and make sure you're doing a great job! And then go from there. Good luck. Sure she'll be just fine.

all my daycare kids are self-sufficient from the time they potty-train on.... it's simply part of the training.

Use feminine wet wipes....they glide easier!

& if she were in a daycare or preschool....she'd be flying solo! Does she attend any group setting? What does she do there? Stand firm & teach her this skill!

She's bathing every night and putting on clean underwear, right? So allow her to wipe herself, encourage her, and tell her "sorry, you need to do it" when she calls you to do it.

My guy will be 3 next month and from what I recalled with my older two and have read, wiping is a part of potty training and should begin when they start sitting, along with pulling their pants up and down and washing their hands, so he started at 22 months. Granted, for a boy it's just a couple of pats after peeing, but he's doing the poop wiping, too.

They have to learn to wipe and there's no better way for them to do that other than doing it themselves.

IMO, it's not that hard for her to wipe adequately in the front (back is a different story). A reasonable amount of toilet paper and 2 or 3 wipes should do it. I would get her used to do it some herself after you have done it to give her some practice and keep telling her that once she turns 4, you expect her to do it on her own - but you also have to be willing to let go a little of it being "perfect" in order for her to realize that she really needs to be more independent in this area. Maybe try a little reward (like some M&Ms or whatever works) for when she does wipe herself.

My daughter is 4.5 and has no problems wiping herself in front, but in back it is another story. I usually clean her up first, then have her practice wiping herself too. She doesn't like doing it but will be more willing if I leave the bathroom and give her some privacy. She will be starting kindergarten in the fall (and really looking forward to it) and I've been telling her that nobody is going to be wiping her butt for her once she is there.

well, she's worried that's she's not doing it right, because her mom is pretty sure she's not doing it right.
:)
you can encourage and empower her without letting her go around grubby. lighten up your standards just a little, and don't be too judgmental about how she does it. you've told her, you've shown her. now it's time to trust her.
don't micromanage!
:) khairete
S.

I didn't get to get to read all the responses, but what I did with my daughter was offer to watch. I gave verbal guidance, as needed (like reminding to go front to back) and praised her for doing a great job and being such a big girl. After a while, she even realized she didn't need me anymore and started doing it all herself.

Like others mentioned, I helped with wiping her bottom for a little longer. Then did the same thing by first watching and helping, then eventually letting her do it all herself.