How Do I Get My 3 Year Old to Listen!!

L.,

No offense, but he doesn't do this with your husband because your husband will not tolerate it. You have to be consistent and give him the same punishment EVERY TIME. That may be time-out (if you are at the store leave, or do time out when you get home), or it may be removing a favorite toy every time he throws a fit or doesn't listen to you. Give him 1 warning ONLY!!! Then take action immediately. He has to know that you will take action every time or he will continue to walk over you. He will test you for a little while, but if you stick with it he will get it. i hope I don't sound too harsh, but you will be doing him a fovor if you do this now instead of later :) Good Luck!

When you speak to him, he needs to look you in the eye. Get down on your knees, grab his hands, & make him look you in the eye. When he starts to flip out, just keep a hold of his hands & speak quietly. It doesn't matter if people are staring. I bet you that 9 times out of 10 people are thinking, "Ohh...I've been there, too!"

Consistency is the key. Give him the rules before you go into the store. If he acts up, you can take him out of the store immediately. My son always hated that. He likes to run errands, so he hated leaving. I would always tell him what is appropriate behavior in the store & what is not. Then I point out other people in the store & ask my son if they are acting crazy, too. When he says "no", then tell him that it's not ok for him to do that. Tell him, "Show me that you can be a big boy & listen to mama."

If you have to leave the store, remember the errand is not that important. What is important is that you are teaching your son proper behavior in a daily setting. Let him know that his behavior won't be tolerated & that is your number 1 priority. You don't want to be the lady in the store that looks away when their kid is destroying the store & bothering everyone.

Good luck!

It is hard sometimes to think straight when situations like that happen. Next time you are out in public and he decides to throw things around or mess them up, bring to his attention that everyone is watching him throw a fit. I realize that this could embarass him. Hopefully it will. I don't think he will need to see a therapist over it though. Children need to see there are consequences for their actions and that they affect others. Good Luck with that one. Three year olds are in their on class.

Carrie's post is great advice. In addition, before you go anywhere, make sure you tell him ahead of time where you're going, and exactly how you expect him to behave and the consequences if he doesn't. It'll be hard for you for awhile, but then as soon as you get this down, everything will be easier.

Whisper and make it sound like a secret. Instead of getting angry try silly. Pretend you and he are on a secret mission and no one else can be a part of whatever you are doing... Then when the situation is over and forgotten, tell him how important it is to stick together and listen when out in public. Put it in a safety context...if you can't listen to mommy, I won't be able to help you if you needed my help...yada yada. Make it less about obey and more about cooperation...teamwork has more respect. As far as his behavior, he will catch on that it is not ok to throw boxes and the like by picking up his social skills by who he is around...you! Kids want to succeed socially at this age.

Get the book "Magic 1-2-3"... it's a great book for discipline! It works! My husband and I sometimes disagreed on ways to go about things, so we both read the book, and we now both have the same approach. They know when we say one, we mean business!