How Do I Get My 4 Year Old to Speak up More

Maybe you could set up a conference with the teachers and your son and you could all talk about it together. Maybe hearing it reinforced in front of you that he can talk to the teachers will help. I wonder if the teachers could have the kids do some kind of activity where they have to work together. I would ask the teachers exactly what they would do if he were to approach them with a problem about the boys so that he would know what to expect. It seems like the more information children have about the specifics of what's going to happen, the better they respond. I wonder how much attention these teachers are paying to what's going on if they aren't noticing this. How many kids to a class?

Just tell your little boy that it is ok to tell the teacher about the problems. However if the teacher(s) are already aware of the problem and not watching the children while they play. It sounds like you really need to talk with them about doing their job better. Your child is in their care while he is there and it is their responsibilty to ensure his safety and well being. Something they are not doing very well from the sounds of your post.

Many years ago, my nephew went through this. Instead of telling us, he just ended up fighting back and almost got kicked out of preschool and kindergarten! All I can tell you is what you've already done: talk to the director and teachers and keep talking until something gets done. Is it feasible (sp?) to maybe observe one day? Or maybe part of a day?
As for talking to your son, you may need to go over this again and again wiht him. Just tell him it's okay to tell his teachers. He needs to learn that he can go to other adults for help, not just you. Are you sure he hasn't told them? Maybe the teachers ignored him just like they're ignoring the situation.
I hope everything works out for you. It's not fun thinking your kid is going to get kicked out of school. Good luck!

As the Mom of two girls and "Mom" to so many of their friends, I can tell you that this is not uncommon. I know it doesn't help that there are more bullies out there, but your son will be dealing with them for a very long time! First, you need to tell him how proud you are that he's working so hard to stand up for himself. He needs to know that he's on the right track. Secondly, let him know that you understand the "unwritten code" about tattling. The kids may pick on him more if he's a tattle-tale. But let him know that if he is being physically hurt, then he MUST tell so that these boys can get the help that they need to learn how to be "big boys". Then, you may want to think about sending him for karate lessons or something similar. These classes will not only boost his self confidence, they will also teach when and how to use his new-found strength. Good luck with everything....sounds like you have a sweetie on your hands & I would definitely count you as lucky!

I understand your concerns and agree with the other mothers but if the teachers are not doing their jobs than anything you say to your son will not matter. I would discuss this further with the teachers and director to make sure that they do their part.Good luck

A. I would definately tell my son it is ok to tell on these boys. Just explain to him that if he is being hurt telling someone is ok. Its not really being a "tattle-tale" if he is being hurt. My son went through a little bit of this also and after my son actually spoke up something was done. I did have to go to the school and get my point across but they knew I was serious and wanted something done about this ongoing problem. Good Luck

I agree completly with what the other mothers have said, I would also include maybe getting a little repoire with the kids in your sons class. I know my sons class the kids all get excited when I or my husband comes to pick our son up because we talk to and acknowledge the other children as well. Them feeling comfortable with the "mommy" may give your son the edge. Just love and hug your boy a ton and he will be just fine in the end.