He's been a breastfed baby since the day he was born. I was waiting to see if he would give it up on his own. It hasn't happened yet, but he is pretty close. He has given it up during the day, but he wants it at night to go to sleep. I let him have it at bedtime because that's how it has always been. He's always had it at bedtime, and that's how he almost always falls asleep at night. There have been a couple nights recently where he got to the point where "num nums" weren't helping him fall asleep, so I cuddled him and he actually fell asleep on his own. The other thing is: I know alot of parents are against this, but he has slept with me since he was born, also. He rarely slept in his crib. He has a toddler bed in my room, so I do lay him in that sometimes, but he always wakes up and climbs back into my bed. He drinks "num nums" during the night also. He used to wake up several hours after going to sleep and want it, so I would give it to him, and he would go back to sleep for the rest of the night. Recently though, it just seems like he wants it all night long, lol, and I love him to death, but it's just so much some nights. I would just like some suggestions on how to ease him out of this habit. I wonder if he wants it so much during the night because I've stopped giving it to him during the day?
Thanks moms, for the suggestions. I have been ready to do this for awhile. I am just a softy. I see how comforting it is to my son, and I kept putting it off because I felt like it would be hard on him and I didn't want to just take it away completely. First, I was going to wean him at 1, then at 18 months, then at 2, lol it's definitely time. He is a big boy now, and I know that he is capable of giving it up. I am definitely going to get his Dad involved with the bedtime routine. I like the band-aid/ boo-boo idea, also. So, we will see what happens tonight.
Donna: What are you talking about? What would give you an idea like that? It makes no sense. BTW, I had a happy childhood:)
I have a friend, who put band-aids over her nipples, for a few days. He stopped, when he realized, that he couldn't get anything.
If you want to ween him, just do it. He is not a baby, he is 3, and he understands the word no. Tell him big boys drink their milk from a cup, and just stick to it. It might be easier if you got him into his own bed so he can not nurse at night so easily.
Both my kids... self-weaned. My choice. I did extended breastfeeding and they self-weaned.
My daughter stopped at about 2.5 years old.
My son at about 1 year old.
If you REALLY want your son to stop...you will do so.
Or he will.
I know, some Moms... that still do nurse an older child... that being their choice and I believe it is a personal, matter.
But, for my friends who had kids about 2.5 years old and nursing... they put Band-Aids on their nipples and told their child that "Mommy has a boo-boo...." or, "Mommy's milk is broken...." and that was it. They said, this WORKED for them. Their kid weaned. They kept applying Band-Aids, until the child stopped asking.
Do you still even have milk?????
When my daughter was about 2 years old, I asked her, She said yes, I had milk. I squeezed it and yes, I had milk. She actually swallowed, not just there sucking my nipples.
BUT... I did not just let her control my boobs. I TAUGHT her manners about it:
1) It is my boobs.
2) she cannot 'demand' it... and must be polite in asking.
3) Never in public
4) Never just pulling up my shirt whenever.
5) IF she asked..... I would sometimes tell her "In a minute... Mommy is busy..." then I would NOT sit down and make myself busy. And then she forgot about it.
6) I TALKED to her about it... saying that one day she will not need to nurse.
7) Once she hit a certain age... I did not nurse her at night at all.
Then one day, she just stopped cold-turkey on her own. She told me "I don't drink from you anymore..." and she giggled like it was so lame that she did that.
I too, co-slept with both my kids.
For you... I would give your son an alternative... to sleep with. Does he have a lovey???
He does NOT have to nurse at night...
Or... you need to give him an alternative... such as a sippy cup... to hold/sleep with. With water....
He is old enough... so that you can talk to him about it all.
Have you tried?
I would just tell him that mommy doesn't have any more 'num nums' because he's such a big boy now. You can keep cuddling with him, just make sure you're wearing clothes he can't get into! Once he's over the loss of his num nums, then you can work on getting him out of your bed (if you want to).
I'm actually a big fan of co-sleeping, but I think nursing a 3 year old would be too much for me.
Ummm, just say no?? "Honey, next week you will be 3 years and X weeks old. You will be a big boy then and it's time to stop num nums. So in one week, we are going to give up num nums."
A few days' warning, and then you give it up.
I'm with the others who say just say no....he is a big boy now and can understand that. if he is just using it to help him get to sleep try establishing a new night time routine. with my son (who is 15 mnths) we read a story and then sing a song and then I do my night time saying. I say the same thing everynight to him so he knows its bed time "ok buddy mommy loves you, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, if anything happened to you I don't know what I would do, but now get some sleep. I will see you in the morning get up at 8:30 or nine o'clock because mommy is not getting up before then, I will be here when you wake up. sleep through the night and have sweet dreams." as I say all this I rock him and pat his back. he is always wide awake when I place him in his crib and cover him up but he knows that after all that it is bed time and doesn't take long to get himself to sleep. your son might just want to breastfeed because its familiar and comforting. so just find something else comforting to replace it.
He is 3 he understands no. Just tell him there is no more and he is too big for that now. Get him a new blankie or a soft toy friend to ease the blow? If he can go to sleep without it (as you say) then maybe try a reward chart when he does it.
Donna... lame and judgmental! Sorry Loriibeth there is no excuse for people responding in that way.
I breastfed my oldest for 16 months and still feed the "baby" at bed time only who is now 20 months. To stop, just tell him "all done". He will complain and probably tantrum and it will stink for one or two nights. But then he will get it and will just accept that it is no more. I am a big advocate for nursing but at 3 kids begin to retain life long memories. I have a girlfriend who was breastfed until almost 4 and the fact that she remembers it is actually disturbing for her (she did nurse her own daughter, although for just 6 months, so she is not opposed to it due to her experience, but is a bit freaked out by the memory) As far as co-sleeping, that is your choice. I wouldn't however wean him and eliminate co-sleep at the same time. Good luck!
My mother was in this similar situation by lil brother was going on 4! She finally put anbesol on one breast and when he went for it, he realized it was 'yucky' Never asked for it again and I know a few others that tried it with much succces. Good luck!
@ Donna S., dont you think your post was a little out of line? She made no mention of anything to give you that idea or inclination...obsurd!
Hi, Loribeth.
Now you are looking at boundaries to start implementing with your son.
What are your values and beliefs that you want to teach your son?
Do you want to teach him that you and he are separate people?
What are your concerns about setting boundaries?
It seems to me that there are issues that you are dealing with in how you were raised and you don't want your son to experience whatever it is that you found painful from your childhood.
Just a thought.
Good luck.
D.
My daughter was the same - pretty much not nursing at all during the day (unless she was having a tough time, was sick or got hurt) and would nurse off and on during sleep time. She stopped COMPLETELY on her own2 weeks before her 5th birthday. I miss it while at the same time happy that phase is over.
Just remember, you will never get this time back. If it's been mostly going fine with you, why change it? It will change on its own time anyways.
I always found it fascinating how difficult the weaning process is. I often thought if they had told me up front would I have went through with it?
I completely understand your predicament because I have been there and done that. I found the least traumatic way to wean was with Dad's help. He took over the bedtime routine and snuggled them until they fell asleep. At first they put up a fuss but he was the master of distraction and got them to fall asleep without the breast.
As for nursing through the night, both of mine never slept through the night until they weaned. Once they weaned they magically slept all the way through. It was quite amazing.
Growth Spurt. He will not need to eat all night if you increase his calories during the day. Add lots of healthy snacks all day-feed him constantly, don't worry, he wont' over eat, and be sure not to do sugar or fruit too late in the day. He will sleep more soundly once he's fully satisfied. The separation part is up to you, you're the boss!
