25 1/2 Month STILL Wants to NURSE and Co-Sleep.

Hi I.,

What you are experiencing is completely NORMAL with a nursing toddler. Don't worry - what you are going through is what every mom who practices extended nursing experiences to some degree. If you decide that it is time to wean, you may be surprised at how easy it will go. I recommend that you contact your local La Leche League chapter and ask to borrow "How Weaning Happens" from the lending library, or I think you can buy it from their website.

I also practice extended nursing, and wean my kids late too. I really recommend contacting La Leche League for some advice on this topic, the women that are part of the group are wonderful. If you live in the Long Beach area, there is a terrific local meeting.

Good luck, and rest assured that you are not alone.

i weaned my oldest son completely at 26 months, because it started to get dry and painful again (like at the beginning) and i tried many different ways to get him to stop and none of the advice i got worked. we cosleep and everything too (well hes six now so we dont anymore, he still climbs in our bed in the morning though!) so one night he wanted to breastfeed, and i sat him up and told him that he had to quit the "booby num-nums" he was so sad and sniffed out a few tears as i explained to him that it was hurting mommies body and he understood completely and asked for a bottle. and that was the end of it!

i weaned my little girl at 22 months and she was a little harder. my mom took her for a couple weeks and got her out of the breastfeeding routine for me. that was February of '07

now im trying to decide whether i should do it that long with my new little boy who is only four months (obviously i will wait at least a year!)

well good luck, i hope this helped you a little!

I really understand your situation. My 2 year old is still hooked on the "hoots"; she's fine during the day at her daycare but even on the drive home, she starts asking for it, and immediately when we get in the door, she cries until we go upstairs and have a session. Same for going to bed, co-sleeping, and in the mornings when she wakes. According to my mother-in-law, it runs in the family and a few of my husband's nieces/nephews were the same way. They eventaully self-weaned, but not until 3/4. I'm with you - I can't stand the crying when I've tried to wean her!!! It's totally for comfort, but my guess is that since she's still teething (got 2 more to go), she often feels bad and needs that comfort. I'm going to try to ride it out and reasses it when she's 2.5 if she hasn't self weaned by then. Stay strong - she will eventually wean, right? I truly believe there is a reason whey they "need" it - and therefore I'm OK with providing that comfort until they outgrow it....although I could use a rest, too! ;)

I am not sure how old you can nurse up to, but what caught my eye was you placing her in time out because of a habit you created, now lets get honest here, she nurses because you let her, she climbs in bed with you because you let her, she won't drink much of anything because you let her. Now who is running the show, doesn't sound like Mom is !! you are in for a big surprise if you keep allowing your daughter to run the show, your teaching her all she has to do is thrwo a fit and get her way. You think its bad now just wait. She is old enough to drink out of a sippee cup, she is old enough to throw the pacifier away.
Its now summer time, being a teacher do you have the summer off ? if not at least you have a month off. ( I am surprised at you being a teacher ) you should be aware of child developement !! ( MOM ... and I put my hands on my hips )

time to toughen up a tad, tell your daughter she is a big girl now and mommy's milk is all gone. She will scream, hand her a sippee cup if she throws it, pick it up put it on the counter, do not give in, it takes 3 days 3 nights for her to get over this, but the minute you give in, you have to start over again, about the bed, don't make the same mistake me & my hubby did , took us almost 3 yrs to get my son to sleep on his own, he would cry so hard he would throw up, of coarse I would run to him every time... finally I just said you want to throw up then thrwo up, but I am not cleaning it up nor picking you up, so he threw up, it was the hardest lesson I had to learn, he never did it again.

Buckle down mom, you need to help this daughter before bringing in a new one. You can do it ...

My 27mo still nurses. I usually find that when she wants to nurse more she wants more of my attention. which is difficult to do with a almost 3mo girl as well.
The days she is kept busy and has my attention are the days she doesnt nurse as much. Even when she was younger and we were out of the house her nursing slows down until we settle back down.
I can't help on the co-sleep because she is with us. Although she is in her own bed right up against ours. She stays there for most of the night and will only come into my bed in the morning after dad leaves, or if he is still home, the time he usually leave

Your posting brought me back to when I was raising my babies. My son was the same way and I had the same uncomfortable feeling - what if he grabbed my hand and said, let's go mom. I stuck it out and it wasn't long before he weaned himself. He was about 2 1/2. I recently took a nutrition class in college and the text books say each child will wean themselves when they are ready and not to worry about it. As to quantity - the body is amazing and cares more for quality and making sure your child gets what is needed.

My only surprise and concern is that your daughter is not eating regular food in addition. What is not in your milk in sufficient quantity that a child needs are Vitamin D and Iron. Of course one of the nice things about Vitamin D is that 10-15 minutes direct exposure to sun a day (if you are caucasian) will allow the body to synthesize it from the sunlight. Once a baby reaches 4-6 months however, the iron supply they are provided just before birth runs out and the supply of iron in breast milk dwindles, making it critical that they start eating iron-fortified cereals. The next vitamin that is needed is vitamin C, which is important to help the body absorb the iron. You may want to have your daughter tested for milk anemia.

Something else to consider is your daughter's feeding skills. Has your child developed the manual dexterity and jaw muscle strength and the skill of moving solid food around, chewing, etc.

These are all issues you might want to discuss with a registered dietician.

I hope this has helped.

M.

My daughter is 18 months and still nurses andd co-sleeps. I started with saying no to nursing at night. It was hard the first 3-4 nights. I kept telling her to hug her baby doll and to close her eyes while I patted her back. She was very, very angry and screaming.

Oddly, it took her Dad saying "no nursing" that caught her off guard and hushed her. After one week, she wasn't even asking to nurse anymore at night. I say yes any time during the day. But I designate a chair. And it has dramatically changed her daytime nursing habits down from 8-10 to once or twice a day. It's like it's not on her mind 24-7 and she kind of forgets.

Don't be afraid to stop nursing at night. Your daughter is foggy & tired and not totally alert. You may find less resistance from her. Your toddler is in the comfort of your bed, so you know she's not hurting. Then you can baby step to sleeping in a crib.

It's going to come down to how ready you are to stop nursing. I nursed my second daughter for 19 months because she was soooo attached and because she was my last and I wanted to comfort her. When it was over it was hard, but she became more independent.
This is such a "touchy" subject because I don't want to come across as judgmental. This is your decision to make. If you're indeed ready, you have to just go for it. Talk to your daughter and tell her the time has come and while it has been the best experience, breastmilk is for babies and it's time for her to start having big girl food. Good luck, Mom! You'll do the right thing.

My son is 24.5 months, and still nurses. We co-slept until a few weeks ago, when I noticed that he was sleeping worse, nursing more, and very cranky during the day. I decided to try an experiment: I get him to sleep in our bed, then my husband and I sleep on the pull out couch. Immediately he began sleeping 5-6 hours instead of 3-5. After a week, he will now sleep 8-9 hours. Of course, this is not always the case (teething, sick, etc.) but I think he needed his own space. A big help with the weaning process has been to offer crackers and water in a bottle or water bottle while we're in bed. He will now often go to sleep on his own, holding his bottle, or hand near the cracker bowl. We did this without tears or shaming.
It's my opinion that you need to sense your daughter's needs. Distraction can work, but at some point she may really need the closeness. This isn't a bad thing! But you can talk to her about how you feel (frustrated, embarrassed, whatever) and I think you might be surprised at how much she understands. Try to acknowledge and identify her feelings, too (instead of time out, what about talking with her calmly - You must be really angry/frustrated/upset. Do you need to hit/throw something? Let's look for something soft . . .) My son is getting better and better at talking to me about his feelings instead of just acting on them, which can help a lot.
If you continue to tell her that nursing is attached to growing up, she may decide she doesn't want to, and start regressing on other things as well. Just a thought. Keep in mind that she is only 2 and doesn't have any other coping mechanisms. See if you can work together to find some other ways of providing comfort.
Finally, I find that if I'm around, my son needs to nurse, but if I'm gone, it's no big deal and he doesn't ask. So I don't think that's unusual, but if it's going to be a problem for your trip, you may need to find ways to get away during the tougher times. . .
Good luck!
E.

Okay, well, you know, you have created this little monster by giving in......she's now trained to cry and scream and mommy will give "it" (whatever it is) to her. So, first things first, make up your mind on how YOU want to handle this, and stick firmly to it. If you don't want her lifting your shirt up in public, then you need to tell her she's a big girl and no more nursing, and stick to your guns!! Be prepared for hours of crying, if necessary! Toddlers often respond well to distraction, so try putting some music on and dancing with her, take her out to play in a toddler pool, etc. Really fun and exciting things she loves to do. You know your daughter---will she be distracted, or is she going to scream until she wears herself out? Maybe hubby or an aunt or someone can help you out w/a break away from her during this time period. Stick to your guns, mom!! Also, you will need to give her some extra one-on-one attn. during this time to offset the lack of nursing. Pull her in your lap to read books, have tea parties w/her, take her for nature walks, play dollies, etc. Give her the face time w/lots of hugs and kisses. This should be over in 2-3 days, max.

I know what you're talking about! My son just turned 3, and he still wants it. (I'm not even producing ANY milk any more, and he still wants to nurse.)

When he turned 2 he was still doing the full night-nurse, and we were co-sleeping. We'd put him into his own bed at night, but he'd wake about 11:00 or 11:30 and come into our bed to nurse. Then he'd nurse again at 2 or 3:00 and do what I called a "monster feed" for about an hour starting around 4:30 or 5:00. Ack. He ate regular solids during the day; he just supplemented with breast milk at night (and BTW, I continued to take pre-natal vitamins, to make sure that we were both getting the nutrients we needed).

I was getting ready to need to night wean him, because I was going to start taking the train for 2 months and needed to get up at 4:30 a.m. to do it. He would cry every time: "Don't take a shower!" And cry hard the entire time, if he had waken. So I had to wean him.

I criss-crossed band-aids over my nipples and told him they were broken. This worked to help night-wean him, and might have worked altogether if I hadn't given in the next evening. I was so engorged and thought that if I only nursed him during the day it wouldn't be so bad. He was so happy when I let him, then seemed to understand when I couldn't at night (I'd re-applied the band-aids). He still came to bed with us every night, and still cried about me leaving the bed too early.

When the 2 month stint with the train was over and I went back to our regular sleeping habits, I tried another tack. (The band-aids didn't work anymore). I put a lighted digital clock that he could read on the nightstand, and told him he couldn't "eat" until the first number on the clock was a 5:00. There were lots of grumpy episodes, but that seemed to help me get more sleep.

La Leche League says "don't offer, don't refuse." I think that's pretty sound, though I refuse when it's inconvenient (during the day or out of the house) on a regular basis. I just get him a cup of water or try to distract him. He does ocasionally try to put his hand down my top, but I just remove it without paying attention and he stops.

Since he now only wants it for comfort (there's no milk after all) I do provide it sometimes. It really makes him happy. And as long as I'm not losing sleep, I don't worry.

I hope I've given you a couple of things you can use. BTW, this book was wonderful regarding infant/child nutrition: "Super Baby Food." Good luck!