Nightime Weaning of a Reluctant Toddler - Need Help!

I weaned my daughter at 21 months. I'm trying to remember if she was night-nursing at the time. I know we stopped co-sleeping at 14 months, so I'm assuming she wasn't nursing at night. That we would just cuddle her or rock her back to sleep if she woke up. To stop nursing completely, I put band-aids on my nipples and told her that they were broken. She was actually more sad for me that I had owies than she was upset about nursing. It only took a few days and she would ask once in a while if they were still broken. Then she eventually forgot about it. No trauma or crying. I got that idea from a friend and I've heard others who've said it worked for them. Good luck.

I totally know how you feel right now. I am currently weaning my 15 month old from her night/wake up feedings. The first 2 days, I was gone from home for a conference for work. My husband said she would wake up in the middle of the night or early morning and cry.....cry in his arms, cry in her crib, cry next to my side of the bed....just cry! Last night I came back from the conference, she is okay without the night feeding (took 3 days) but this morning she woke up at 2:30 and wanted to nurse. I didn't give in....wanted to, but didn't. Needless to say, I was up the rest of the morning (husband was gone for the night/morning with my brother). I'm sleep-deprived, but I think it's working. Just be persistant and if you truly want to stop....Stop! But, you can't stop and then start and then stop. It will make the process difficult for all included. Good Luck!!!! :)

M.,

I nursed both my boys until about 16 or 17 months. Good for you for nursing so long! My boys both woke at night to nurse once most nights until I weaned them completely. I just never got past the night nursing. When I work on it with my first we was still waking every few hours at 10 months and I just would get up and rock him while he cried. I had to take him out of the bedroom where I normally rocked and nursed him (he would point to the rocking chair because he wanted me to nurse) but I would say "No Nursing - it's nighttime" and then walk and sing and rock. Some nights we were up for EVER at first, but eventually he started sleeping longer. We tried letting him cry, but it was too awful for all of us, and I felt better about just getting up and walking him around the house. NOW, he was only 10 months and it was easier to do that at that age. My second son was night weaned shortly before totally weaning and I had to just let him cry in his crib. I know it sounds terrible but it was worse if either my husband or I went in, so after 2 or 3 nights of him crying, he stopped and just slept through, but he was weaned completely shortly there after.

SO, if you want to keep nursing, you may have to keep some of the nighttime nursings, but if you are ready to start thinking about weaning, night is a great place to start, and you might have a little girl who transitions well to nursing just twice a day!

Good luck,
Jessica

Weaning a nursing baby can be a really emotional process! And physically tiring. It sounds like you are a caring mom who is just hoping for a peaceful rest all around. One thing about toddlers, when the 2 1/2 year molars come in it often triggers the strongest urge to suck. Have you tried substituting a Nuk, a bottle or a sippy cup that requires kids to really suck on? Switching it up in the daytime hours may help ease the transition at night. Chances are, she does NOT want any midnight hour surprises. If she is getting teeth, and it fits your parenting philosophy, a dose of ibuprofen or Tylenol could get her through the first couple of nights. I wish I could give advice on how to hold her during these episodes without nursing her, but my experiences have not worked like that. Initially, if the baby saw me, they wanted to nurse. I always tried to develop a new "big kid" routine at bedtime. Maybe a new reading spot or learning game, something the two of you can do together before bed. It provides extra mommy-time and reassures a little lovin'.
A little about me: I am a happily married SAM of five and nursed them all, three of them night nursed until 22 months. P.S. After a few years, you'll be in a bigger bra again! Thanks to the moms who passed me this advice years ago!

I've shared this with this forum before ~ but it worked so well for me that I thought I'd post again. I was nursing my son until he was 22 months (mainly at naptime/bedtime). In order to wean him, I put vinegar on my nipple. I told him that my milk had gotten rotten. It only took two tries and he was weaned. We also used this with my daughter to get her off the bottle. She was adopted from an orphanage and the bottle was her security blanket. It was very emotional for me to take it from her, but it had completely rotted her teeth out. So, we did the vinegar trick and it worked like a charm. Best of luck to you!

Hello-

I'm still nursing my 24 month old pretty much on demand. We co-sleep and she still night nurses 2-4 times. The number ends up being much higher if she is having a rough time with teething. (nursing seems to soothe her mouth).

I see you work full-time, have you considered co-sleeping? It may just be that she wants to be closer to mama at night because she is away from you during the day. This may or may not cut back on the number of times she wakes to nurse, but it would make it easier for you to roll over and let her latch while you go back to sleep!

The way I see it, they are only young once and the time spent fulfilling their night time needs is really a short while in the grand scheme of things. It is so comforting for them to be able to nurse back to sleep by their mamas and there has to be something said for how many babies/toddlers prefer this method. It is natural and how they were intended to fall asleep.

I also know of a lot of moms whose toddlers started STTN on their own between 2-2.5, so maybe you could stick it out a little longer and she will start improving.

It just sounds like you guys have such a trusting relationship, I would hate to see it strained by CIO. I think it is a lot harder on babies/toddlers than a lot of moms want to believe.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find something that works for your family!

-E.

M. - I also had children who loved their breastmilk, especially at night and at naps. Each time I made the switch, I knew I had to gear myself up for a little less sleep that night. What worked for me was having a bottle of milk or water ready in their room and when they cried for me, I took them to the rocker and gave or attempted to give them their bottle or sippy cup. This was certainly met with anger and frustration but it actually was easier than I anticipated. That first night is the hardest, with them waking several times, but then it exponentially dropped off each night and within 3-4 days we were off the breast. I think one key is not holding them in your normal breastfeeding position and being consistent. It's not easy and it's a little sad, but you can do it!

Hi M.,
Our son was a bit older, 4 1/2 and would wake up in the middle of the night. He slept with us. What I did is just deny him access and cuddle with him to sleep which was really what he was looking for. He whimpered a little bit but then just feel back to sleep. It took I think 3 nights and he no longer needed to nurse. Hope this helps.
Blessings,
S.
tp://www.mamasource.com/biz/business-for-families-menominee-mi

Oh, I feel your pain. And you've probably been told by dozens of people, WHY are you still doing that??? To which you can't possibly respond with the appropriate emphasis... We are finally done nursing our 19 month old at night, but it's taken a while. My husband took him on the couch (still is, as a matter of fact) because Baby wound up in bed w/ us, nursing 3-5 times a night. The first thing is probably to decide whether you're truly ready to be done with it. I was surprised at how attached I was to getting up at night and nursing, how close it made me feel to my son and how sad I was when we stopped. But it was making me angry and not a good mom, so we were ready. My husband just camped out and did it for a week, and endured the crying. We had a sippy of water ready (I KNOW his fluid intake was dependent on all those marathon night nursing sessions) and just chugged through it. If your husband isn't able to help, honestly, I think it'll be a lot harder. Your daughter knows where the goods are, and can't understand why she's not getting it. Is it an option to have grandma, or even a friend, come to spend the night for even a few nights? Grandpa? Aunts or uncles? I would say the first three days were the hardest, and now he's fairly used to it. A warning, though: he played really hard those couple days where it was really warm, and he had a cold, so I nursed him at 3:30 in the morning ONCE. Oops--we paid for it! He wakes around that time now to nurse again! So once you decide to quit, quit for good. Also--your baby does not need that nourishment (unless there's something you haven't mentioned), so remind yourself of that again and again. It helped to remind myself I was NOT going to be treated as a human pacifier for my 19 month old child! Good luck; that's a tough one!

If you want another way to look at it, you do have the "magic pill". That's an incredible gift. My baby could not nurse and I about went crazy trying to figure out how I could calm her, nurture her and bond with her without that ability. I would give about anything even now to have that magic. Is it possible for you to commit to sleeping with her so that when she wakes to nurse you don't have to get up and possibly neither of you has to wake completely? It might give you the continuous sleep/rest that would alleviate your exhaustion. It might even speed this stage up, as she would get more "mama" in her little soul each night. I think that when they fill up their little hearts they move on with confidence to the next developmental stage.

If you are ready to give it up, it won't matter if she is 22 months old, 10 months old or 5 years old, she will have an adjustment to make, so putting it off any longer will only stress you out more. By the time they are this age, waking up during the night has more to do with knowing mommy and daddy are close by and not being hungry. If she uses a sippy cup during the day, give her a sippy cup with water when she wakes up during the night. You can sit with her for a bit to give her that togetherness feeling but she will keep waking up as long as she is getting that also. Try sitting with her until she goes to sleep the first night. Until she starts getting that sleepy look the second, when she has had her drink and a hug and kiss the third and so on until she is able to fall back asleep on her own. When she falls asleep on her own sit the glass close at hand and tell her if she wakes up and wants a drink, there it is, she shouldn't need to wake mommy up. I did this with my son and the first night he woke up and drank about half a glass, the next night there was just a bit gone and by the third night he was sleeping through the night.

Hi M.

Sounds like you might want to take a night or two away from her . If there is a friend or grandparent that you can stay with . And have dad be the one to put her to bed . It may be a rough couple nights for all . But it is some thing she knows if she cries enough mommy will give in . I know it is the easy way out to nurse her when she crys .
My son was very attached too . We just found some thing new for him to comfort himself with . He had a very soft blanket he would snuggle while nursing . I just did not wash it for a week and it had my scent on it . He would just cuddle with the blanket at night and it helped .
And dad had to be the one who did the bedtime stuff for a couple days .
Good luck

We cut off night nursing at 1 year so a little earlier than where you're at. I needed sleep :) I went for cold turkey and it took 3 nights for my son to understand no more milk at night. Still nursing up to 3 times daily though at 2 1/2 years.

I liked the take a few night away from home idea if your family can manage it. Then there just isn't an option.

Thank you, M.!

I nursed my son until 17 1/2 months - and it was terrible to stop. We both enjoyed the bonding - so I cried along with him - as my husband cuddled him in another room.

My middle daughter made it through a week off (when I had pneumonia) and went right back until 23 months. I then discovered I was pregnant - and with my history of loss, my ob office recommended I stop as oppposed to tandem nurse. I told her mommy was sick again and needed to stop, and she balled her little hands up next to her eyes a couple of times, but didn't cry - which was equally heartbreaking!

And this 'baby'. Oh boy. She's 28 months and I've been so ready. Pretty much the night time nursing, too. My husband is also supportive - but unable to manage losing sleep. He functions with all eight hours under his belt. So it's sort of on me. But after reading and re-reading all of your posts - I'm on it, tonight! And it's not even bittersweet - just sweet. I love my babies like crazy, but look forward to better rest for myself and her. She needs a full night's sleep, too!

Thanks, again - M.! I've wanted to post this question a hundred times over, myself.

I'll be thinking of you, tonight :)

T.

My son was much younger, 13-14 months, but nightime weaning was the worst for me as well! In the end, I just stopped doing it. I would cuddle him and walk the house. He tried and tried to nurse, but really it was not not the milk he needed/wanted. My son did not wake in the night anymore, but the last nursing we cut was just prior to bed.

The first night I refused to nurse him, he cried for 2 hours. The second night it was 20 minutes. The third night, maybe 5. Then I was done, he has been going to be on his own now ever since and he just turned 2 on Monday. It is really hard however during those crying times. Hang in there, it does get better.

Congrats to you for nursing as long as you have!!!