She Is Almost 2 and Still Nursing

My son did the same thing. Finally, my husband started putting him down for bed instead of me. He cried for a few nights, but not for too long. If he woke during the night, I would give him a cup of milk instead of the breast. He cried a few nights but I was determined. He tried to pull my shirt up several times and I just tried to distract him...and offered a drink in a cup.

Good Luck!!

T.,

Well, you can still hold and cuddle her without nursing, which may meet the need for "hold you." When I started to wean, at right about 2 years, I started with the middle of the day for nap session. Instead of nursing, I made a big deal of snuggling warm and cozy on the couch with baby and we read a book together. If baby wanted to nurse, I said, "Oh, we are going to read now, and if you nurse you can't see the book or hear what I am saying. Let's read this!" Of course, halfway through the book, baby fell asleep. Some days, I admit, I stayed right there on the couch holding my wee one, just not nursing, for the entire nap time.

Next, I began to omit the first thing in the morning nursing, by making extra special breakfasts. OK, everyone will probably screech at me, but even including ice cream with cereal like cheerios. (A great advantage of weaning a slightly older child!) Sometimes I'd make pancakes, or heat up the lasagna from last night. With the distraction, I did not nurse. About this time, the middle of the night nursing disappeared on its own.

Last to go was the nurse before bed. Yes, there were two or three days of screaming. I did snuggle the baby close, sing, read stories, and provide love and comfort. Then, I nursed no more.

My boys are 6 and 3 now, and there are some evenings when one, the other, or both, still snuggle up close next to me on the couch to fall asleep at night, and I carry them to bed later. Nursing was such a special time in our lives, and I believe it helped them develop physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

Congratulations to you for being able to nurse, and choosing to do so--many women are less fortunate. Just think of this transition as a process and don't put an exact deadline date for completion. Gradual is good.

Best wishes,
K.

There is no rule about how long a child shouold nurse. If she is still in need of that special closeness, I say wait a while to wean. My daughter nursed until around 3 and a half and when she was ready to wean, it was easy.

Hi T.,
I think that its really really hard for moms to allow their children to cry it out. Its against their instincts as a parent. We naturally want to protect our children from pain of any kind, physical or emotional. When we hear then cry for us and beg for us, it translates into they are feeling pain and we jump to try and make that go away. You wouldnt be normal if you didnt have the desire to comfort her. With that being said, continuing to nurse her throughout the night is not helping her learn that she has certain limits and boundries and thats something is ok for her to have. She physically does not need to eat through the night any longer and really the nursing before naptime and bedtime is more a comfort and routine to her then a need. At 4 months of age, babies are able to learn to comfort themselves to sleep. She is well beyond that and hasnt learned those skills yet since you are doing it for her. The best thing you can do for her is let her cry it out. Take a weekend where maybe you can let your son have a "camp out" on the living room floor with you or your husband so it will be less disturbing to him. She may cry all night the first night... off and on. The next night she will cry for a long time as well, but it will be less. Each night will get less and less until she learns that when you put her in her bed and say good night thats it. Its not a punishment to her, its her learning a new habbit of comforting herself and also getting on a good sleep schedule.
The key really is not to go in there. It will be the hardest thing you ever do when you hear her begging for you, but once you go in and hold her she will learn that if she sticks it out long enough, not matter how long, you will come and get her. So you have to stick to your guns.
I know some moms are totally against letting their kids cry. I am not one of them. I have 3 and all slept through the night by 4 1/2 months. None of them nursed at night or took a bottle before bed past the age 1. Even my youngest, at 16 months, follows the other 2 up the steps when we say "bed time". We brush her teeth, give her a kiss and lay her in her crib. She rolls over and closes her eyes.
If you are one of those moms that doesnt feel comfortable with the crying, and thats ok if you are.... Im a firm believer that everyone has their own way of doing things and no one is wrong. Advise is great but its just advise.... I read that you can sometimes lay next to your little one and hold them very close but not nurse them. They will cry for it, but just keep saying "night night" or some phrase over and over telling her to go to sleep. You keep holding her until she falls asleep. It could take a while, but she will learn that from now on she has to go to sleep without nursing.... the only things about that is you then may start another habbit of she cant sleep unless you lay down with her. Which may be ok with you. But if she gets up in the middle of the night, then you are still waking up and having to go and comfort her. Im sure you will figure out what you think is best for your little one... but I hope that this helps a little.... good luck!!!

Have you read "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley? It might offer some tips.

I remember when DS#1 would wake up at night and I would nurse him while he stood up in his crib... so don't feel like you're the only one who had a tough time weaning!

I finally started telling him "nursey only during the day." First thing in the morning, I would let him nurse, then I'd give him a cup of milk. One day, he said "No nursey, just milk." And that was it.

Another thing that helped w/ DS#2 was having Daddy put him down at bedtime. No mommy = no nursey!

Good luck.

Hey T.,
I was watching Tyra Banks last night, and they were talking about babies, postpardum.. etc.. however there was this one lady, Jill, who was taking about bedtime and schedules, stuff like that. So I went to the Tyra webpage and listed below is is her name and the website for the sleep solutions. Also she's involved with momlogic.com which is like mamasource, i guess (i haven't log onto that site yet. But maybe it will have some useful tips). I personally cold turkied it. I would give my daughter a bottle of breastmilk (to get her use to a bottle, around 2 mths, and so her father could feed her) then i would lay her down awake after she drank breast milk from a bottle and if i had to i would go in the room 2 - 3 times to comfort her if she was crying, but not pick her up. Then at 3 months she slept through the night w/ my son in th same room. I could put her down and then an hour later go in and put my son down w/ out probs. So it's definetly all about sticking to ur guns. you need to make a decision and stand by it. These little ones are smarter than we think!!! I wish you the best of luck.. M.

Jill Spivack, Psychotherapist for Momlogic.com
www.sleepeasysolution.com

Hello T.,
I'm a mother of 4 who nursed all of them. The truth is T. that this mothering life of ours breaks our heart a thousand times over and fills it with joy 100 times more than that. If you would have no other way then your world revolving around your children then why stop? There is no one forcing you to wean her except yourself. There are many countries and peoples whose children are nursed until they are 5. You are neither wrong nor right on your timing. when you ARE ready simply prepare your daughter and son by talking to them. I know talking to them sounds wierd, but it makes it that much more real for us. Plan on weaning on the weekend or when you might have a chance to rest. Prepare your heart and put her to sleep without you for the first time. What a big girl she is now and what a brave mother you are. NEXT. when she cries wait 5 minutes then calm her down and lay her down again. Wait 10 min. this time and calm her down. next 15 min. and so on. This is a little more gentle but requires energy and patience and a VERY strong will. Again best on weekend. You are doing great.
Hope this helps.

What does your daughter do when she is at her babysitter's or daycare??? I just weaned my daugther who is 16 months. Around 14 and a half months I started cutting out her breakfast nursing because she didn't need it, I only nursed her at night. I found her nursing less at night and it was mainly for comforting her so she could go to sleep. She takes a nap by herself by listening to music and snuggling with her blankets. She did the same at night and then got afraid of the dark. I finally realized she was just nursing to go to sleep and I had to stop this. So a week before she turned 16 months I just started a bedtime routine of brushing her teeth, reading her bible, saying a pray and then laid her done to sleep. She hasn't asked for it since and she is sleeing better during the night.

I would say that she is using you as a crutch because you are gone during the day. I hate practicing tough love too, but after 2 nights of letting my daughter cry herself to sleep at 4 months old to transition into her crib, I was fine with letting her cry alittle bit. I would recommend putting her to sleep before you put your son to bed and get her used to it. But before you cut out the nursing at night I would cut out the naptime nursing and making her go to sleep on her own. It will be hard but you can do it. Find something else for you to do until she falls asleep so it will take your mind off of it. Once she is asleep I would check on her and make sure she is covered and fine. I then would start to cut out your bedtime feeding. I bet she is waking up at night to nurse because she wakes up and realizes you aren't there and she isn't nursing and then won't go back to sleep.

My daughtere started sleeping throught the night at 6 weeks old. So I know she could do it, but when she started waking up in the middle of the night at 15 to 16 months old and would be up for hours, I knew I had to cut out the bed time nursing and she hasn't been up since.

I hope some if this might help, and I hope it isn't confusing. I good book to read, especially if you are going to have more children is called Baby Wise. It will help descipline you and your child to a schedule.

If you can find a way to cut finances to work part time, I would try and work around it. I'm not sure what your finances and situation is, but I would do anything I could to stay at home with my children, whether it be to cut out cable, cell phone, extra spending on going out to eat or anything you feel that is less important than your children.

Until then I hope that you keep positive about your life and situations that come across your way. Know that You can do all things throught Christ who gives you strength: Phillipians 4:13.

God bless and good luck,

Jen G

You are a great mom to nurse your baby for so long. You'll miss that closeness once she is weaned. Good luck!

About the nursing. Have you tried having other cuddling time, like a story book or singing to her while she falls asleep in your arms. Somehow trying to disassociate the nurturing from the eating.

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Hi T.

First off remember you are doing the best for your daughter. My daughter nursed till she was 18 months old.

The best kind of weaning is self led. All three of mine did it that way.

Another thing you can do is hold her but put the sippy cup in her mouth instead of allowing her to nurse. It is hard and she will cry. Is she cries to much. Put her in bed before her brother.

Hi T.,
My son nursed until he was 21 months old. It was to a point that whenever I would sit down on the couch, he would think it was time to nurse! Finally, we were preparing to move and life got a little hectic. I didn't have time to sit on the couch! LOL....Maybe you can try to cut out the day time sessions, slowly, and only nurse at night. Once the daytime nap nursing is cut out of her routine, she will not feel the need, or she may even forget the nighttime sessions. When putting her down for nap, don't sit and cuddle in the place that you nurse her. Read a story on the couch perhaps, then put her in her bed and say a quick nighty night. She may cry but it might only last a few minutes. It is better to try at nap than wake up brother in the middle of the night.