Weaning My 18 Month Old - Fillmore,CA

I didn't read the other suggestions, but look for the book The No Cry Sleep Solution - great ideas for weaning even if you are sleeping in the same bed. Good luck.

Do you have access to a Pack N Play, maybe one you can borrow? Maybe the Pack N Play will work for a crib for her, and you can put her in that to sleep. She will be upset, no doubt, so expect that, and expect a few rough nights (maybe even a couple of weeks worth...). Before going to bed, try explaining to her that she's a big girl now and big girls don't need mama's milk, only babies do. Then tell her that since she's not a baby anymore, no more mama's milk. Maybe even do this for a couple of days before you cut her off.

If you don't have access to a crib or Pack N Play, try instead leaving her in your bed and you moving to a cot, sleeping bag or comfortable chair, if she tries to nurse. If she follows you, put her back and ignore her (or leave the room if you have to; secure the door with a baby gate).

You have my sympathies; it's so hard to have to do this, but it's so much harder in the long run to keep doing it because I'm sure you feel like you can't take much more. So just be strong--stick with it and be consistent. Don't interact with her other than cursory putting her back to bed if she gets out... Good luck, and hugs!

I'm in a similar situation, so I completely empathize with you. My daughter will be 18 months next week and I just night weaned her 3 days ago. She sleeps in bed with us too. (You can definitely night wean her with her still in bed with you.) She was wanting to nurse every two hours even after getting over a cold a couple weeks ago. I've been tired for 3 1/2 yrs (I have a 3 1/2 yr. old too) so I felt enough is enough. So when she woke up wanting to nurse, I told her "milkie is all gone," "it's night time, time to sleep," things like that and patted her back, shooshed her (whatever is soothing for your little one.) She was very mad and had a nice fit. She was awake from 2-3:30 a.m. that first night. It was brutal. But the second night was better. She just whined or cried a little for a minute (which can feel like forever) but she started to understand that I would not nurse her. I also offered her water when I said milkie is all gone. Sometimes she said no and sometimes she did want some water. It's all a process. You have to go through 1-3 tough nights to night-wean, but it will get better. I still breastfeed my daughter - just not during the night. Good luck and stay strong! Consistency is key. :)

I weaned my daughter at 18 months, too. She would have nursed forever, I think. If you think it's mostly comfort and attention that she wants, find other ways to give that. Mine used to want to nurse every time I sat down, so for several days I just didn't sit down if she was around. In your situation, it might help if you wear a shirt to bed that she can't open. She can still cuddle with you. Also, gotta say that my daughter stopped taking naps when I stopped nursing her, because nursing was the way she would fall asleep. Wind it down gently. I got her down to where she would just nurse once on one breast per day, next day on the other breast, before I cut it out completely.

first of all, GOOD FOR YOU!!. Nursing for 18 months and co sleeping is great for your baby and you. You have done a wonderful thing for your child, yourself and society. Don't kick yourself. Like many things in child development (and life) change takes time. The other mothers on this thread gave wonderful advice. Replace the feedings with a drink of water, milk,etc. Explain to her you don't make milk at night anymore, reinforce that a big girl doesn't nurse at night and needs her sleep. Maybe a reward if she is successful? Or, a special doll at night? Try everything and give it time.

We shared a family bed long past night-time weaning and here is what I did. I had a sippy cup of water on my nightstand and when my daughter would wake up to nurse, I told her mommy no longer makes milk at night and I'd hand her the sippy cup. It worked. Soon, she just stopped waking up at night to nurse. Good luck!

Dear Julie:

I feel your pain and understand your situation completely. The only advice I can give you is to gently wean your daughter by discussing with her what is happening, I believe she understands every thing you say to her, let her know what is coming, and at night you hold her, rock, soothe her while committing to not nursing during the night. That is how I did it. My daughter never had to "cry herself to sleep" and in the end we both got to sleep through the night and never felt our loving bond had been broken! It will take about two or three nights to wean her.
Good luck!

AB

You can tell her that mommy has boo boos on you boobs and put small band aids on your nipples. Keep reminding her about the boo boos and stand your ground. Believe me, it won't take long for her to get over it, you just have to get through a few days. Your family will just have to deal with the interuption. This is nesessary if you want to wean her, otherwise you will be a pacifier forever.........
Good luck!

I think the first answer is to get her out of the bed with you, it will be very difficult to stop nursing if you're putting the temptation in her face all night. I would start with a pack and play - next to you in the bed. Try nursing her before naptime and after naptime & before bedtime. Basically you need her to get comfortable sleeping on her own before you can try to wean her (at least that's my opinion.)

Once she's comfortable with sleeping on her own, you can then begin the task of trying to wean her. I just think it's too difficult to do it with her in the bed next to you and it's preventing you BOTH from getting good sleep. Once she's in her own bed (whatever that may be - even if it's in the same room as you) you can follow the standard advice on weaning but I doubt anything will work until you get her to sleep on her own.

Good luck!

I didn't night-wean my son until he was 2 (and altogether when he was 3). We co-slept, so it was easier to get some sleep, and I thought it was great. AND it was helpful in duress -- he ended up in the ER (fine now) and my ability to nurse him kept him (and me) calm. Don't be in such a rush to wean, and DON'T second guess your decisions now. Enjoy your relationship; they grow up so fast!

That said, these were helpful when I was night-weaning him:

* This book: The No-cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Pre-schoolers. It had some great ideas about getting a breast-fed child to sleep without breastfeeding.

* Get a digital clock and tape over the last 2 digits (so that only the hour is visible). Let your daughter know that the boobies are tired and she needs to wait until the first number is a __ (5? 6?) before they want to wake up.

*More drastic, but really effective: put band-aids over your nipples and tell her they're broken. Wear them every night and take them off in the morning. When she tries to nurse half asleep, she'll feel the band-aids and remember that the boobies have an "OWie."

For regular weaning, this was very helpful: "Don't offer, don't refuse." Don't be the one to bring up nursing anymore. When she asks, you might put her off a short time and make her ask a second time. More and more often she'll forget and then finally you'll be done gently.

So much good luck to you.

I didn't read the other answers so sorry if I repeat. I did the same thing with my son - I didn't want to wean but I really needed my sleep. It takes a little more "awake time" on your part but I had to make sure I stayed awake while he fed and then moved him away from my boob so he couldn't smell it or me. When he was sleeping, he slept for much longer periods of time when I wasn't within a sucking reach - also it really helps if they don't nurse to sleep. They nurse then wake them a little by changing a diaper or something then you can cuddle them back to sleep. I have read that really helps them sleep for longer periods of time and it worked for my son. Good luck to you!

I think it is great that you have C.-slept with your baby and breastfed this long. Your daughter is a lucky girl! I'm trying to nightwean my son and what has worked well is that as soon as I sense he is waking up, instead of nursing him, I hold him in my arms and gently bounce him, pretty much the way I sometimes do to get him to sleep. There are times when he cries a little and times when he just sort of whines for a brief moment. Because I don't let him fully wake up, it is easy for him to settle back down and go to back to sleep. I've only been doing it for 4 days and so far, I have already eliminated two of his usual 3 nursing times at night. On purpose, I have left it so that he will wake up ONE time per night because I don't want to go 11 hours without nursing. I hope this or something else nice and gentle works for both of you so you can get more rest and your daughter can keep feeling loved.