My 8 yr old step daughter is moving out of the country 2 days after Thanksgiving for atleast 2 years. My husband is obviously crushed and even though we only have her every other weekend, she and our 2 1/2 yr old daughter are very close. We won't be able to see my step-daughter for another year. The youngest cries every time we take her sister back to her mom's home and my husband and I were wondering when and how would we tell her about her sister moving away. I don't want to just wait until the last minute when she won't see her again for another year, but I want to make sure she understands and somewhat accepts what will be happening. Any advice will be appreciated! Thank you so much!
Wow, I feel for you! Will the step-daughter have access to a computer with a video camera? If so, you can plan to video chat every weekend. If not, and if it's affordable maybe you have an early xmas/channukah before she leaves and give her a low-end macbook - easier to use and less chance (almost none) of virus'. That way the girls can visit EVERY weekend.
Good luck.
L.
Does the child's mother need the father's permission to take the child out of the country? If she moves, thereby she is denying visitation with the father. My son's divorce decree stipulates he must give permission for his children to even acquire a passport.
Maybe you can take photos of the two girls together with their Dad and frame them to put beside their beds. Maybe Dad could write the oldest a letter, too, or make a photo scrapbook telling her how much everyone will miss her. Give a photo to child to remember the other by. Divorce is so hard on all kids especially the smallest ones that don't understand what is going on. Not sure how to tell the youngest, but she will eventually figure out that sissy has moved away and she won't see her for a while. Just give her and her Dad all the love you can right now. Prayers to you and your family.
Hi L., how about assembling pictures of the 8 y/o and 2 y/o together starting w/ when the baby was born. Show them together playing, reading a story, eating birthday cake, Christmas, washing dishes, trying on new shoes, fixing hair. Any and everything that the older girl will be doing on a regular basis. Tell your child that Morgan will be doing all those same things and when Vivian is doing those things she can see the pics of her and sister doing it together. It may bring comfort to the older child to have those same pics. Perhaps you could make 2 simple albums the same and have the girls give them to each other so they will still be together for the time they are apart. Leave enough room in the album for pics to be mailed of Morgan at her new school, if she gets a new hairstyle, or does something (skiing, mountain climbing)that Vivian would have no frame of reference for. Likewise as Vivian learns to ride a bike or hop on one foot, send a pic of that to Morgan to see her sisters growth. That way they will never be apart. HTH
I know this is a very hard thing to deal with. I have a few ideas that might make the transition a little easier. Take your step daughter to Build a Bear and have her make a bear for your daughter and buy the recordable box and have her record a special "saying" for your daughter. Then when ever your daughter hugs the bear she can hear her voice and know she loves her. Also video tape them playing together and maybe her reading a story to your daughter for her to watch. I hope these ideas will help a little. Good Luck.
She is 2 so speak with her in very simple terms and try to stay clam and matter of fact.
With the internet and skype.. the girls will be able to communicate through the computer..
Make sure to just let your daughter know that her sister loves her and they will get to speak with each other (insert how often has been agreed on). Maybe get a framed photo of sis for your daughters bedroom. Your daughter is s young, she will be fine. It is you and your husband that will really be emotional..
In some ways your daughter and your step-daughter will take cues from you as to whether this is an opportunity or a tragedy. Morgan is old enough to participate with you if you utilize the great technological advances of cell phones, video clips on the internet, skype, and old-fashioned mail, so the two girls can remain in close communication until the nearest opportunity to visit in person.
You can send your step-daughter on her new adventure with artwork from your little one and pictures you regularly send, along with cute postcards or fun paper & envelopes addressed home, even possibly pre-paid with appropriate postage you might be able to purchase & print online. If you have the relationship with his ex, you can set up regular times for them to talk on the phone or to "see" each other via webcam. Your toddler will not "understand", and she will get over her initial upset quickly if you guide her when she asks for her sister by stating simply, "Morgan loves you and she is with her mommy in another town for awhile. She's sending you her love right now, and you'll hear from her soon,"
This will sound cold, but I wouldn't tell her. 2yo have a very short memory. She will not understand the concept of sister going away for years. Just have them say a good goodbye when she leaves for Thanksgiving and leave it at that. Let them email or write letter (or draw pictures) that she can send to her sister. Even call on the phone. I assume you will get an international calling plan so Dad can talk.
Good Luck!
That is a tough situation, but your daughter will adjust. You should see if you can set up regular web cam visits. I know people with children in other states and they have court ordered web cam visits, and phone calls.
I think it will help if you all can at least keep in close touch!
i know you are all very sad about this move. it could be turned to an exciting thing. there are ways to communicate, like skipe ( not sure about the name) and post cards, little gifts she can send from there and things you can make and send to her. they can become pen pals. tell her things like were so sad she is going but she is going to have so much fun.
Just be honest with her in a calm way. She won't even remember all of this. But, the best way is the honest way.
Keep it simple & positive. Morgan is going to go live far away, but we are going to some fun, cool ways to talk to her. Get voice recordings (even on you cell phone)& pictures before she leaves. Will she, Morgan, computer axcess so that you can you email or facebook, even daily? Of course letters, cards, & pictures will be good for Morgan. Bless their hearts. Just do all you can to keep a communication going.
Is there anyway to take the mother court, I would think that the Judge wouldn't allow that to happen...
