How Do You Correct Your Child's Teacher?

For something like this, I think a more roundabout approach that others suggested below is appropriate. The teacher could be totally uninformed, but could also be teaching something in a specific context that makes sense so a gentle, inquisitive approach would raise the issue without you looking presumptuous.

If there is something that is blatantly false, you just have to suck it up and point it out. One of my kids had a 5th grade teacher who taught them that 1 is a prime number, and included it on a handout and included it in several problem sets. I sent him an e-mail that basically said "I hate to be *that mom* but I must point out that the handout you are using is incorrect. One is not a prime number, the definition of a prime number is..." etc. He was a good sport about it and even told the class that I sent him the correct information. That was rather mortifying for my son and certainly not my intent, but at least they had the right info.

This doesn't sound like a troll to me.

I think the way you handled this is fine. A friend of mine once sent the test paper back with her comments. I think that it's OK to have some amount of dialogue with a teacher if you feel that something was graded in error. However, I wouldn't drag this out or get into too much back and forth. I wouldn't want to seem argumentative.

Another thing to consider is that word usage and what's considered acceptable grammar has changed over time. The school may be adhering to a different set of guidelines that what we're used to in everyday language.

I would say, "So to clarify, it is not that this is not a grammatically incorrect sentence, but that this sentence does not fit the instructions you provided in class?" I would tell my daughter that the unspoken "you" is the subject and her sentence is a full sentence but her teacher expects x instead. If this was a matter of an A- vs an A, I wouldn't bother with it more. If it was a big test and she got a lesser grade over it, I'd be more inclined to discuss it further if the test instructions were not clear. She offered to fix the grade. I'd consider it closed.

We had a teacher we hated at the end of 4th grade. After several meetings, our goal was simply to get SD through the end of the year. I would try to focus on there being only one more marking period left with this teacher if the issues are minor.

It would help if you included the sentence in question so we could see what you mean.

But otherwise, I would phrase my email along the lines of "Susie is trying to learn from her mistakes, and I don't have all the answers. I wonder if you could explain what's wrong with this sentence: ______________ How would you have preferred that she write it? You can also ask for what pages in the text or workbook your daughter can review to learn the proper technique. Once you get these answers, you can decide whether to go back and challenge the teacher.

I don't think you get too far without an out-and-out challenge before you understand the reason. I think it's also important to know what style guide they are using (for older kids and more complex constructions).

Are there teachers who don't use perfect English or spelling? Yes, and it's frustrating. Are there parents who sometimes make mistakes in their own usage and then perpetuate that? Yes. Looking on line can be helpful, but there are also a variety of sources who disagree on usage and spelling, so it's hard to know which authority to lean on.

I think it's okay to submit the source you used, but if it contradicts a legitimate source the teacher/school system use, it's kind of a "tie". Moreover, depending on the age of the child, you may appear to be over-involved in the homework. That's always a tightrope to walk.

I think you have to choose your battles. When a child gets a question wrong, it's not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things. Neither is an A- instead of an A especially in the lower grades. But learning the wrong uses of English from a teacher who is in error is something else again. But you absolutely have to be positive of your position.

You explain to your child that in elementary school you do not start a sentence with a verb, but with a subject. You explain that she can start a sentence with a verb when she is in a higher grade, but for right now she needs to follow the teachers directions and do it how she was taught to do it. Language Arts are taught progressively.

This can be fairly tricky. You don't want your child to feel their work is wrong when it is not. You also don't want them to feel they know more than the teacher does (even if they do). You don't want the teacher to think you are 'that' parent (even if you are) and you certainly don't want the teacher to take out their annoyance on your child. So, it's tricky. You want the teacher to understand you are NOT looking for points on a test (that would be truly nitpicking) but are looking to help her learn.

I might try another email using a specific test answer along the lines of 'DD and I discussed that there are several correct answers to this question and you were looking for a particular one. However since both are correct (and why)'. I am looking for your advice for how to handle this situation in the future. Please call me when you have a few minutes to chat.

Commands and instructions certainly can be complete sentences and I am sure the teacher uses them all the time. Line up for the fire drill. Go to the cafeteria and take out your lunches. Call your mom and ask her if you can stay late.

I did once, when my daughter was in 3rd grade. They were prepping for standardized testing and given multiple choices to respond to questions about a map printed on the page. One of the questions asked "Which street does not intersect?" My daughter selected the answer that said none of them, and she was accurate.

However, the way the worksheet was set up, it was a question in a series of questions, and that question came after another question about a particular intersecting street (on the map). So the test writers were actually trying to ask something that they didn't actually ask. There was possibly an inference that they intended to mean, "Which street does not intersect *with Albany Street*?" But that wasn't the question they actually asked.

I wrote a quick sticky note to her teacher asking why it was marked wrong, because there are no streets on the map that do not intersect with another. And returned it in her homework folder.

She sent me back a note that she agreed it was poorly worded, and technically my daughter's response was indeed accurate, but that the standardized test would have questions like that (poorly written, with inferences from previous questions, I presume) and she would need to know the way they wanted them to respond.
Still makes me cross-eyed. If you are testing inference skills, fine. But the material was on map reading and geometry (intersecting lines, angles, etc).
Just shoddy test writers. :(

I think in situations like that (yours and mine) it is is always helpful to inquire about the reason the response given was not correct, or in the alternative, the reason the *correct* response is something else, and go from there. Especially if the teacher is working within the confines of curriculum given to them prepping for standardized testing.
Just be kind and give the teacher the benefit of the doubt as to why she marked it the way she did, in any given situation. Perhaps she was teaching a specific form and your daughter should have known that. Sometimes there are verbal instructions given that you may not be aware of from looking at the paper itself.

Very often the teacher is teaching a concept and wanting the sentences to reflect that concept. Perhaps saying the sentence is "incomplete" is not accurate, but the sentence was not in the form the teacher was asking for.

Relax, it's just a point or two on an assignment. Don't argue with the teacher. Help your child learn to follow directions.

I circle the ones that are correct and marked wrong and send back to the teacher.

no, i don't think you're being overly nitpicky. after all, we send 'em to school to learn the correct ways of doing things, and if the school is countering that aim, it's got to be corrected.
i do get what the teacher says in her explanation. but 'usually' doesn't mean 'always', and i would want clarification both for me and for my kid in such a case.
naturally you don't want to parse and pick at everything they do, but i see nothing wrong with making a courteous inquiry when something like this pops up. and from your SWH i'd object to your daughter's answer being marked incorrect. the fact that she worded it in a way not 100% in keeping with the school's teaching curve doesn't mean that she should be falsely taught that the form itself is wrong.
i actually went to my son's 5th grade teacher when she gave homework that asked for an opinion, then told my kid his opinion was wrong. when i went to her she agreed with me, but, rather like your teacher here, said that she was trying to elicit a different response, and since that's not what she got, it was technically 'wrong' according to the guidelines by which she said she was bound.
i told her i was sorry her guidelines were so inflexible (and meant it sincerely, not snarkily), and that cemented my decision to homeschool.
khairete
S.

I have had to ask for clarification before ... I guess that's how I worded it.

I have said "We're not exactly sure what's wrong here ... just want to make sure my little one understands what is being asked.." and then leave it to them to explain.

That way, you are saying you don't get what their problem is, but if it was supposed to be done a certain way (and it wasn't clear to your child or you) then you give them the opportunity to clarify that.

It would depend how you approached the teacher. If you word things in such a way as trying to understand/be helpful as opposed to we don't agree with you - usually results are better.

I had to do this recently. It had to do with irregular possessives, and there was no ambiguity. (son wrote the possessive form of children was children's, and she marked it wrong and wrote childrens')

I simply wrote her an email, and asked her to look at my son's paper again, because she had made a mistake. I also said it was no big deal, and I was only pointing it out in case she had made the same mistake on other's papers and I didn't want the kids to be confused.

To my son, I told him that he was correct, and not to make a big deal about it because teachers are trying to do a lot of things at once, and everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

In your case, I would tell my child that imperative sentences are grammatically correct, but that the teacher preferred her to use statements for future vocabulary words.

I think this falls under the 'show all your work' issue.

Some 7 year old can add three 2 digit numbers in their head.

13+12+24=49 (is correct, yet the teacher may want to see 13+12=25; then 25+24=49).

I am guessing your daughter is in 1st or 2nd grade because the spelling word looks about that level (not sure if she is older and to me it would make a big difference). I would imagine the teacher wanting to see all her first graders are able to show the subject and verb.

Sounds like you have doubts about this teacher. Nothing wrong with getting clarification.

I have. I send a note on the homework and ask why it is wrong. If I had gotten back this response, I would again ask why her sentence was wrong. Really, saying "we usually" means that it could be or not. IF the instructions were to start the sentence with the subject, then okay. But if the instructions were to write a sentence with the verb form of pound, then why is her sentence wrong? I have gone back to a teacher several times over something with my older kids.

You're not being overly nitpicky. Sounds like the teacher wants to stick strictly to some idea of "You must only learn what I am teaching right now, today, and if you are capable of more, you need to wait while the curriculum catches up with you." That's discouraging to kids who are already ahead of the curriculum just because they read or write a lot on their own.

It would make me nuts because my daughter's sixth grade had not just a language arts teacher but also a writing teacher. Yes, they were actually lucky enough to have a writing class--not extracurricular but a regular part of their schooling, all year. By sixth grade a LOT of kids in her grade were writing pretty complex pieces and they would all have caught, as you did, that the sample sentence is indeed a complete sentence. And they would have let the teacher know it themselves!

I would emphasize to your daughter to follow the directions closely since this teacher wants what she wants, when she wants it. And then encourage your child to write like crazy in her own time any way she likes. There will always be teachers who want students to follow their lesson plans to the letter, and students do have to learn how to cope in those classrooms and with those teachers; it's like my daughter's algebra teacher who wanted workings shown a very particular way, and my daughter (and some of her friends) had to learn to give that teacher what she wanted or get dinged for it, even though their method was also correct.

It's a pity, though, that this language arts teacher is so rigid that she can't explain other forms beyond "Start with the subject then put in the verb...." at this point in her curriculum. Clearly, some kids, including your own, could cope with different forms just fine.

All things considered this is probably a troll because if you want someone's opinion wouldn't you actually include the sentence in question?

In case this is real, your daughter was given an assignment that she did not do correctly. That makes it wrong. Just like if the teacher said add these numbers and your daughter subtracted, it is wrong. Both are acceptable ways to work a math problem but one is not what she was told to do.

consult another teacher about the sentence issue, things are done differently that when i was in school so i would make sure i was correct then ask the teacher about it.
if its a clear question with only one answer then bring it directly to the teacher and ask them to correct it. (teachers are only human and do make mistakes)
i would be nice and calm, approach the issue gently and try to be as non-confrontational as i could be

Wow. In this case, yes, I would correct the teacher, just as you did. You are not being overly nitpicky. You are requesting that the teacher recognize correct basic English usage.

I would not be satisfied with her reply. If she wants the kids to use subject-verb-object structure, she needs to specify that when she gives the assignment, rather than mark grammatically correct sentences wrong because they don't fit her unspecified requirement. That's poor teaching. You don't hold kids to an expectation you haven't made clear, in the assignment directions, in writing. Is this teacher a beginner? If this sort of thing is consistently a problem, then you should consider gathering your evidence and having a little chat with the principal.

You are not being THAT MOM. Your expectations that the person teaching language arts to your child should be teaching correct grammar is reasonable.