How Do I Tell My Daughter's Teacher That She's Teaching Something the WRONG Way?

Grammatically, you ARE correct. I think a generation ago, kids were saying "Me and my friend sent a note to his mom" so often that they got corrected as "My friend and I" "My friend and I" "My friend and I" over and over and somehow that translated into "every time I use 'so-and-so and me' it has to be 'so-and-so and I'", even when "so-and-so and I/ME" is the object and not the subject. You'd NEVER say "My friend sent a note to I", would you? It would be "My friend sent a note to ME." So CORRECT GRAMMAR would be "MY friend sent a note to Jim and ME." Just like you said. Scary that the other way is being taught as correct. So everywhere you go now days, you hear it used incorrectly. Drives me up a wall, too.

But when a TEACHER is making that mistake, that's unacceptable. I would gently approach the teacher as if YOU'RE confused: "Ms. Teacher, can you clear up something for me? I learned that "ME" is used if it's the object, but that "I" should only be used if it's the subject. Have grammar rules changed since I was a child?" I would love to hear what her explanation is...

Jo -

I'm a University English Professor, and I'm sorry to say: you're wrong and she's right. You would never say, "My friend sent a note to..I" would you? Nope! You would say, "My friend sent a note to...me."

I agree that you need to say something. This is a rather basic grammar rule that every 2nd grade teacher should know! She just needs to spend a little time brushing up on her grammar...don't we all, lol?! I would just pull aside and very nicely tell her that!

"I" is a subject and "Me" is an object. You are absolutely correct (not that you doubted that). ;)

I teach AP English, and I tell my students all the time that I am happy to learn from them. I am human, and I make mistakes. I have no problem with them correcting me, and they LOVE it when they catch me making a mistake! :) The mistake your daughter's teacher is one that needs to be corrected.

We had a 9th grade teacher at our school that was telling students that there was no difference between fiction and non-fiction. I was the department chair at the time and had to get that straightened out. My advice to you is to be direct, but gentle.

Perhaps you could say something like, "I know I and me are confusing, but grammar is something that I've always been interested in, and I'm concerned that the students are getting the wrong message. I is a subject and me is an object, and I'm not sure the students understand when to use I and me." You could have an example of your daughter's paper to show her. That way you are suggesting that there is a problem with communication, not that she doesn't understand it. You're giving her an out.

Good luck. I hope it goes well! :)

http://oxforddictionaries.com/words/i-or-me

If you ever need to correct someone, a respected resource like Strunk and White is useful. You can copy the appropriate reference page and pass it to her. "I'm not sure how to say this but my Strunk and White doesn't agree with your homework. I feel I need to bring it up because my daughter is confused."

Ask her if she is still doing invented spelling and sentences. Usually in first grade, kids write little stories and they are allowed to "invent" the spellings that are not on their word list and write sentence structure that is not actually grammatically correct. I don't remember if this changed in 2nd or 3rd grade, so that is something you need to find out.

The point is that you may be misunderstanding the way the class is being taught. Usually all the teachers in the same grade teach basically the same way, and kind of work together as a team. Are you friendly with one of the other second grade teachers? You could ask her about this.

If you find out that invented spelling and sentence structure is used, then ask when she will be be transitioning over to correct English.

The thing is, K., children need to write, whether they spell correctly or use correct English. They are taught a beginning, middle and end. They make up a simple story. If the teachers start out "bleeding ink" all over the paper, the kids will lose interest in writing. Remember, the hardcore grammatical structure is traditionally taught in 7th grade English class. So as they learn more sight words, more families of words (hen, pen, men, etc) and practice telling more stories and writing them, their writing becomes more "correct".

I really think this is what is happening. And if I am correct, it is best to not take apart your daughter's writing. Instead, tell her how much you like her story. Let her teacher "lead" the writing. I will bet that by May, her stories will not only have matured, but the sentence structure will be better and she will be using more words, including the ones she is learning to spell.

Good luck!
Dawn

BTW - I used to teach second grade. If I were grading children on this, I would be highly embarassed if you approached me to fix this, BUT I would be glad that you did b/c I wouldn't want to teach the wrong thing. But you'd have to be super-duper nice! :) (When I taught, all of the parents were older than me, so maybe that's why I'd take it easier. If the teacher is older than you, she may not take it well. Younger than you, she'll probably take it easier).

Mention it casually - "Ya know I was on this mom's website that I'm always reading around on. They were arguing about the same thing that my little Sarah is doing in school - 'Jim and I, Jim and me...' I thought it was funny that adults don't know right from wrong on this either, so I looked it up on x-website and on y-website and both of them say that 'jim and me' is correct. Here. I printed it out for you. In my reading of this, I am remembering my days teaching high school freshman. Man they never got it right either! I hope the kids won't be too confused to tell them that the other way is actually right. It'll help them to learn the right way today than have to relearn it in 9th grade! "

Another printout you may want to look up and print is the VA's list of knowledge and skills that teachers are required to teach in second grade. In Texas, we have the TEKS. Not sure what VA has. But look in there under Language Arts and see what the state says your daughter should be learning. Could be something as simple as "distinguish correct word choice when using pronouns I and me." But it may get into more depth stating which is actually correct.

These links looked good:
http://homeworktips.about.com/od/homeworkhelp/a/iandme.htm

http://www.heiressintraining.com/2008/10/29/understanding...

Just fyi -- you are right. I'm a journalism major and a grammar freak.

To check yourself.... if the sentence is "Anna gave my sister and me her dollhouse," take out Anna and say it. "Anna gave ME her dollhouse."

I would just send the teacher an e-mail probably, and tell her you "think" it might be the other way. Explain it to her like I (and others) have explained it and maybe it will make sense to her.

Oh god, how do I tell you that you are wrong. It is actually Jim and I.

Yikes!

I would suggest you googling grammar rules before telling the teacher they are wrong. :(

You have to know I suck at grammar rules and even I knew that one since first grade.

Edit:
What I find funny is in googling that, half the sites said one way and half the other.

In the end I suppose you should go with how I taught my kids to learn, think, and play the game. If the teacher wants it one way then play by their rules, but always consider that they may not be right.

If you are going to confront I would just explain that it only applies to the beginning of the sentence and use me as an example of what happens when it is misapplied. :)

Oh man, my pet peeve!!! Yes, you are most definitely correct.

Do you have any credentials, like you were an English major or something? (Edit: Just read your W.H. - yes you were a h.s. teacher.) That would help. If the teacher is actually correcting papers this way, then I think you should point it out to her. It's a common enough error.

Maybe you can preface it with what a great teacher she is, and how much your daughter loves her, and you hope she doesn't mind your pointing out this common error, but you were a high school English teacher and...

I agree with Rosebud. Mention your credentials (as a way of being nice, as in: I know this because it was drilled into me, but I don't expect everyone to know it, so I am giving you a heads up), and let her know that the pronoun is an "object pronoun" and that particular mistake is a common one.

I always had these down pat all through school, and I think it was because my parents (and siblings) spoke using proper grammar at home. I KNEW instantly if something just 'sounded' off. But every year in high school, we'd spend lots of class time addressing these sorts of things, and the likes of "lie vs. lay" and "learn vs. teach" and "who vs. whom".

If it is being ignored in your daughter's papers then you can address it just with your daughter, but if she is being 'corrected' to something that is incorrect (made to change what is correct to something incorrect), then you HAVE to speak up. You can do it by way of a sticky note attached to her paper returned to the teacher or whatever, just be nice and even joke with her.... "I know these can be confusing to remember, especially when you probably see it both ways all the time dealing with 2nd graders, but the pronoun is an object and should be "me" not "I". I was a grammar geek in school. :) " Or something to let her know you don't hold it against her, but that she needs to be aware.

That sort of stuff drives me batty---when a teacher teaches wrong information. It doesn't happen often, but when it has, OH the battles I have ended up in with my kids over such things. "But the teacher told me THIS is right." (sigh)

ETA: oh and Sheila- it is "a lot". There isn't such a word as "alot". That was covered in my daughter's 5th grade spelling earlier this year. :)

I thougt the way the teacher was teaching it sounded right to me, But i took Jo's advice.( and i hope she didn't mean it as nasty as it sounded to me tonight) and googled gramman rules. what you are saying makes sense because if you remove the other noun you can tell if it makes sense or not.

Anna gave ....(remove my sister and),,Me her dollhouse. is correct.

but Anna gave ... (remove my sister and)... I her dollhouse. Is not correct.

So, that still doesn't answer your question. Is there another grade level teacher that is friendly to you both that you could mention it too. and see if they can bring it up some how. annonymous letter to the principal??

Update for SWH: I don't think that casually mentioning that your child may be confused will be very effective. She's a teacher. She obviously thinks she's teaching it correctly. What will you do if you she sticks to her guns (as wrong as they are)? Then you'll have to go back a second time with proof. Talk about awkward...

If it were me, I'd take one of the papers that she corrected wrongly, circle the mistake and attach a note.

Just be factual. Don't assume she'll take it badly, because then she will. We often assume someone will react badly so we try to head it off before it happens and that just puts in their heads that they should react badly. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

Delivering what we consider to be bad news should be no more difficult than delivering good news.

In this case, it's really neither. It's all factual.

"I noticed these problems were marked as incorrect on Suzie's homework. I believed they were correct. I wanted to make sure what the grammatical rule was, so I looked it up in ______________ and have attached the rule for reference. I know your goal is to make sure the students are getting the correct information and my goal is the same for my daughter. Please contact me if you have any questions or concerns."

This doesn't imply anything about the teacher's ability or knowledge. It simply states a fact - Suzie's homework has been marked incorrectly. Then it states another fact - that it's incorrectly marked because the rule is unclear. You're attaching another fact - the correct rule. Then you're getting in her camp by reminding her that you have the same goal. It's not about blame, it's not about anyone being wrong. It's the situation and the correction.

do you have teacher's email address? if yes, send her a note and just say my daughter and i have a disagreement over a sentence and i was hoping you'd help us out. she thinks this is the proper way of writing the following sentence: ""
and this is the way i told her it should be written. what do you think?
also mention i used to teacher high school english but it's been years for me so i may be a bit rusty.
this is the way i approach my kids' teacher if something is not correct and is being taught the wrong way. most of the time they get the hint and i see the correction happen within days.

Hi, K.:
I would take the paper in to the teacher.
Tell her that you are confused about her grading
of the sentences.
Would she mind explaining her reasoning for it.
Allow her to come from her point and view and
then see how she explains herself.
Share with her your thoughts on the matter and
see if you come to an understanding.
Good luck.
It needs to be addressed.
D.

You are correct. I is a subject me is an object. I do things... things get done to/for me. Jim and I shared a pizza. The server brought the pizza to Jim and me.

I'd probably just approach it with the teacher as if you noticed your DAUGHTER's mistake and ask her what she suggests as far as correcting it. "I notice that ____ is frequently mixing up the pronouns I and me. I have tried to show her the strategy of dropping the other person in the sentence (like I go to the store so Jim and I go to the store) but she seems confused. Any thoughts?"

Hope this helps.

T.

Please, I beg of you, do not leave it alone.

There is good advice here on how too bring it up, focus on your question remain utterly calm and supportive, suggest you ask others, or look it up together etc. These are all good methods for dealing with the potential issue of correcting some one whose feelings you do not wish to hurt.

But, please do it. Bad grammar turns into terrible speech. What are perceived in the work place as "low class" speech DOES cost jobs and promotions. The inability to get the I vs me question correct, and the use of the word seen without the "have" in front, as in "I seen" are signifiers to others of your class and your intelligence. This may not be right and it is usually not fair, but it remains true of how people behave. Second grade is NOT too early.

I'm an editor. You're correct. I'm surprised at the posts saying you're wrong about this particular grammar question.

Is it possible that the teacher does know the correct construction...but has graded the papers wrong, not catching it? Or is it possible that your child is 100 percent honestly convinced she heard the teacher say to do X when the teacher really has been saying the opposite? This is NOT the same as saying your child is lying; my kid has misheard math directions more than once and was sincerely convinced that her teacher said to "do it this way" when I know the teacher did not. Kids do get confused and then get very determined their version is right. The only way to find out is to talk to the teacher.

Even if you're sure the teacher just has this flat-out wrong herself, you could approach it as a case of "Oh, my child is mixed up, she thinks this when of course the right construction is that." I might take the paper to the teacher and say, "I wanted to show you this and let you know Sally is having a lot of confusion, so you can help her with it in class like I'm helping her at home. She seems to think that 'My friend sent a note to Jim and I' is correct and says that's what she understands from class, but she must be getting mixed up -- kids do, don't they! Of course it's 'My friend sent a note to Jim; my friend sent a note to ME; my friend sent a note to Jim and me.' I just wanted you to be aware that this one's tough for her and she seems to confuse it consistently and use 'I' when she should use me. The other one here is 'Anna give my sister and I her dollhouse' when I explained it's 'Anna gave my sister her dollhouse; Anna gave ME her dollhouse; Anna gave my sister and ME her dollhouse.' If you can reinforce that with her it would help her so much and would be just great of you." Take the appropriate page of Strunk and White or another respected manual with you if you want.

That approach does not come out and say, "You're teaching it wrong" (even though you rightly suspect she is doing just that). Frankly, approaching it this way -- your child is confused, of course we know it's this way, can the teacher reinforce it with your child -- means you don't have to say, "You don't know what you're doing," which could either make the teacher angry and defensive or upset. It does not benefit your child for the teacher to feel any of those ways. I hope the teacher will hear her own error the second you say the correct construction; but if she decides to argue it with you and gets defensive, saying "No, it's 'My friend sent Jim and I a note," I would tell her that you will be glad to send her a resource or two indicating why that is not standard grammar. Meanwhile -- do teach your daughter correct grammar at home. I wonder what will happen if there is a test and your child does it correctly but is marked down for it? If that occurs you have standing, I think, to talk to the teacher and ask that the marking be done again.

How would you want her to approach you to tell you that she thought one particular aspect of your substitute teaching was wrong?

I don't think you can claim both - I'm a parent, so this is my right to mention AND I'm a former professional so I know I'm right. I would recommend approaching her when you are there as a substitute teacher - and ASKING "hey, I've seen this on some kids pages. Back in my HS English teaching days, I always thought the rule was X. Has that changed?"

That's my humble answer to your question of "how do i do it". Personally, I'd leave it alone. Your daughter has another 10-14 or more years of education - where I'm sure they'll touch on this grammar rule again. Let her get through second grade doing it the teacher's way. And I'm sure you can re-teach her this summer.

EDIT: dear second grade teacher with the answer above me - it's "too" in this context "second grade is NOT to early"

IMO, I think they are both correct. I know technically, you are correct. But honestly, I don't think it's incorrect to use "I" either. If I'm talking to a friend, and they say, "He took Jim and I to the museum", it's not incorrect. If anything, "Jim and me" sounds wrong. But I know it's not. I can almost swear to you I was taught to say, "She took Jim and I to the store" when I was a kid. I can almost swear I see it in classic books I read to my daughter. I'd make sure she doesn't demerit your daughter when she uses "me", but I'd ignore this personally, and just tell your daughter what you know.

If you MUST tell the teacher and break the cycle of incorrect grammar being taught in her class, just tell her. It's not a big deal at all. I'd go right up big smile, and say, "Hey I noticed Betty Sue is being taught X, and I told her it's Y, and that's actually true (present your proof if necessary), so just letting you know that was incorrect." Not in a bitchy way or anything. You're right. She can verify it. So don't feel bad.

K.,
The exact same thing happened when I was volunteering in my son's second grade class. I thought she was just going to fast and accidentally messed up. I pointed out the mistake and she said that no, it was not wrong. I just said, "Oh, sorry" so as not to make a scene in class. Later she wrote me a note saying that I was right. If I could do it over again I would have spoken to her privately.
This was a teacher with a master's degree! It is amazing how many people don't know the proper usage for "I" and "me!" My boys had perfect grammar before they went to school!
No one would say "My friend sent a note to I." or "Anna gave I her doll house." All you have to do is remove the other proper noun to see if the sentence still makes sense.
Misuse of "her" and "she" is also rampant! Every time I hear, "This is her," I want to say "her what?"

When I am checking correct grammar usage, I consult owl.english.purdue.edu and Grammar Girl. I tell my high school students to do the same.

Later in this post I've included the link for this particular issue. It seems that the "test" for checking the sentence is to eliminate "Jim" and see that the answer is "me."

In formal writing, after a linking verb, one uses "I," while one may use "me" informally.

example:
"Who goes there?
It is I."

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/595/02/

As far as informing the teacher, first I'd find out whether the teacher is using the approach Dawn mentioned. I thought the approach was utilized for spelling, but maybe the teacher uses it for grammar, too.

After that, I would try to have a casual conversation with the teacher herself, rather than tell her coworkers or her principal about the situation. Just direct her to the link to help explain it. The truth of the matter is that elementary teachers have majors in a particular subject but teach all of the core subjects to their students. Teachers learn a lot while teaching! Just be non-threatening.

Wow, I know exactly what you mean. I was a sub, am a teaching assistant and well, I run across that alot or is it a lot? Anyway, I remember that coming up and fortunately another assistant and I were on the same page and we said, oops, we learned it differently and looked it up on the internet (which luckily for us backed our opinion). Your example is great: Jim and I - no - You are supposed to say Jim and me because it is supposed to logically back what you say even if you left Jim out. so it would be 'me'. I would just giggle and say, perhaps politely to the teacher, how oops, learned it differently. Worth a try. You want your daughter to do this correctly, so don't give up. If this is a very new teacher they get their feelings hurt, so the oops part might help.

As a 2nd grade teacher, I agree with what everyone has already said. Approach it as wanting clarificaiton, have some back up, and keep bringing it back to wanting to help your daughter. Yes, I would be embarrassed, but also thankful to have a mistake pointed out to me so I dn't continue to teach wrong. But I also agree with whoever said that make sure it wasn't a grading mistake because the teacher was grading too quickly. I do that every so often, just grading too fast, and totally screw something up.

I do however, disagree with those who say let it go. Please do not do that. It is so much harder to unteach/unlearn something than it is to get it right the first time it is taught. And no, second grade is NOT to early to start learning these kind of grammar rules. me v. I, there, their, and they're, and where, wear, and were, and to, too, and two and things we work on from day 1 until day 180 of school. Its never too early to learn how to speak properly and correctly. Just because half the world doesn't know the rule, just because it sounds right to you, still doesn't make it correct.

yep, sheila is right. if you can remove "jim and" and it makes sense, it's right :)

"my friend sent a note to me."
"my friend sent a note to JIM AND me."

i love this stuff, lol. i always thought being an editor would be so cool.

my advice - call the teacher's supervisor, whether that's the principal or superintendant or whatever (i don't have one in school yet, i forget how that goes- great with grammar, not so good with street smarts lol) and kindly tell them that you don't want to hurt the teacher's feelings, but x is happening and you know it's not right. tell them you'd appreciate it if you could report it anonymously just so the kids don't have to be retaught later.

be as sweet and nice as you can possibly be about it, try not to make it about the teacher screwing up, just play the concerned parent.

I didn't read many of your responses, but you are correct. You take out the other parts of the sentence and the I or ME should stand alone correctly.

I've taught elementary and I will say that I do not have perfect grammar and have made a mistake a time or two. I'm human and I'm not an encyclopedia. Although it would be embarrassing, I would want to know when I make a mistake so that I don't keep doing it.

I think it is better that you know her and really like her. You can do it one of two ways, 1. Allow an out for her. Tell her, "K. and I had a disagreement last night when I corrected her paper. She is confused about how to use ME instead of I in this example. I explained to her that it was the other way. Would you explain to K. that it is this way? I looked it up a dozen times last night and she still doesn't believe me. You know how kids are. They need to hear it from their teacher before they believe it!" (Laughing as you say it.) This allows her to second guess herself, smile, and go check it later. Or she will say, "no, it is this way." and you can reply, "Oh, I'm not sure about that because....."

or 2. ) Approach her in private and say "Hey, do you have a minute? I noticed on a couple of K.'s DOL's that she missed the sentence corrections about the ME and I concept. I think she got them correct. Could you check that for me? I learned that if you take out the other nouns in the sentence and just used ME or I, it should be able to stand alone and be correct."

There is no need to spout out your credentials or talk to anyone else about it. She will double check the second she realizes there could be an issue and fix it.

I used to spell witness with an 'h' (whitness) all the freakin' time. My principal had to correct me. NOT FUN! Please address it and do it with class and professionalism. (And if I didn't get my grammar correct tonight, please don't beat me up. I am so tired and sick right now!) :)

You're right. Jo--the test is to use O. pronoun at a time and they should both sound right.

Maybe print something off the internet and send a note in saying--
"I think I may have been teaching Susie the wrong way--then I found THIS...now I'm really confused! Call me! ###-###-####!"

You're grammar is 100% correct - regardless of what others may tell you. Your explanation is exactly right too. I've taught my daughter to reason out her sentences just as you've shown. Having said that, I'm not sure how I would approach the teacher. Perhaps print something out with the "rules" on it and give it to her saying - "poor DD seems to be confused about this particular part of grammar. I think we're giving her different rules for this type of sentence. I thought this might help" Not sure if that would seem rude to her or not, but the teacher is wrong and incorrectly teaching a whole class of children. I'd have to speak up because it would drive me crazy if I didn't.

I agree that you should talk to the teacher privately and say something like, "I wanted to get some clarity on my daughter's English homework. I noticed there has been a consistent grammatical error in her work." Explain the issue, show the backup from a trusted site that indicates you're right and say, "I'm sure you just overlooked this error and didn't even realize the error. As a former teacher I understand what it's like."

Hopefully she'll be receptive and make the correction.

You are certainly correct about the proper use of me and I. Many people in every day speech make the mistake in how they are used.
I would teach your daughter the "trick" of removing part of the sentence to know which is correct.

As far as saying something to the teacher, perhaps you could just mention that you've noticed something that was confusing to you. See where it goes from there. You're a sub at the school, you like the teacher, you don't want to sound condescending in any way....you've just been curious.
That's what I would do.

Good luck!

I would just request a conference with her, bring in your daughter's papers that she corrected (the wrong way), and ask her to explain why it was wrong. After hearing what she says, then tell her you were taught that the other way is right, and that what she is teaching seems backward to the "rule". I think that would open the lines of communication up, and hopefully she can see her erroneous ways. If not, maybe have a backup with a textbook or something else that explains the rules??? If she balks and continues to state that she she's right, I'd ask her for concrete proof of her theory. I would remain civil and respectful at all times, and just approach her in a "confused" sort of way, and that you're trying to understand her reasoning.

Good luck and keep us posted on what happens!

Wow, Amy and Jo - so wrong.

My mother (a teacher) is a stickler about these things, and she would correct me every single time I used "I" instead of "me." Oh, and by the way, you cannot "just lay here," either - the confusion between lay and lie is MY pet peeve. ^_~

I think the print-out idea is a good idea. There are several good, solid grammatical sites you might be able to use as sources, and just attach it to one of the papers. If you have the teacher's email, you could send it that way, especially if she has been "correcting" your daughter's papers incorrectly. This is something that must be stopped, because no one will be impressed by your daughter's SAT essay if she cannot use basic grammar.

I love grammar, and I listen to A Way with Words on NPR where the two expert hosts answer questions about grammar, slang, spelling, etc. They've gone over this rule plenty of times, and you are absolutely correct, and the teacher is wrong. I would definitely say something, because IMO, it's SO important for kids to learn what seems to be a dying art of correct grammar. Email, stop in after school, or call her up. Just ask about it, and tell her what's up. Don't drag the principal into it. This is just a simple matter of talking with her and clearing it up. Good luck!

I haven't read all the responses. So, sorry if this is repeating someone else's response.
I would talk to her privately. Start by saying you notice your daughter's papers has many of these subject/object confusion and show her how you corrected your daughter (in effect, teaching her how to determine when to use me vs I) Tell her you want to make sure that both your approaches to teaching sentence structure are consistent so your daughter is not confused.
If at this point, she says you are wrong you'll have to enlist the help of the principal and/or other teachers in the school.
I'm appalled that a teacher could get it so wrong. Now, I'm going to check my 2nd grader's papers and make sure she's not making that mistake!

You certainly are correct about the grammar rule. It was drilled into our heads as kids never to say "me and ..." but to say "... and I." Some people never learned the part about how "I" is for the beginning of a sentence and "me" is for the end, or that you simply get rid of the other person to figure out whether it's "I" or "me." You wouldn't say, "Anna gave my sister and I her dollhouse" because you would never say, "Anna gave I her dollhouse." I would actually run it by the principal and ask that he/she not tell the teacher who told, but this is terrible grammar to be teaching the kids. I would let administration handle it.

I agree 100% with A. G.

Your grammar is totally correct. Try send one of the papers back and put a little note at the bottom saying "Shouldn't this be 'me' and not 'I' " ? This is what I would do, and leave it at that. That way there are no uncomfortable looks that would come to a face to face, and it seems less imposing than a email or formal note.

Oh, please, address it! I am a teacher and the poor grammar of other teachers (and administrators!) drives me absolutely crazy! Good teachers would HATE to be making such a mistake; she will want to know.

i would find where it is writen in the english book and show it to her saying she must have read it wrong. if you would normally say go to the store with me then it's go to the store with cindy and me. or you could just email her.

i think some are getting confussed on when they learned to say jim and i and when to say jim and me. if you were asked who wanted to go to the store you would say "I do". so instead you would say "jim and I do". not jim and me. this is where i was taught that i was wrong in school because we just assumed and were usedto saying me all of the time and not I.

Hmmm that's a tuffy! She's definitly wrong on that! That just SOOOO bugs the snot out of me when some use the incorrect way to use "me" or "I", I see it a LOT on tv programs. That really irritates me just as much as mis-spelling y'all! (and YES, it is y'all...not ya'll...there is no 'a' in the word 'you'). I would instruct your daughter the correct way then explain 'why' your way is correct then I would gently bring it up to the teacher or maybe the principal would be better but see what the teacher says first then take it above them to principal or even school board. There's really no good way to tell a teacher they're wrong except to just be honest. Let them know that while you understand they are the teacher, they may've been misinformed in school and you just wanted to bring that to their attention. If no luck, take it to a higher ranking authority, good luck.

The easiest thing for checking is to leave the "my sister and" out, since you would never say "Anne gave I her dollhouse".

OMG!! This is one of my biggest current grammar pet peeves! I see and hear it all the time! And you ARE correct in your assessment that the teacher is teaching it wrong. Definitely say something to the teacher. It's teachers like this that contribute to the sloppy grammar, spelling, and punctuation that so many Americans use these days! All of my girls know the correct use of these pronouns, as well as WHY this is the correct way to use them (object vs. subject pronouns). Of course, they have me for their teacher so they will know the rules of grammar quite well - LOL!

Wow that is scary that a teacher is so far off the mark! I would send an email with the explanation of the grammar rule.

Just do it. Go in after class, ask to talk to her, and bring the papers. She may be mad, but it will be more out of embarrassment, and she will get over it.

I would have to say something as this issue drives me stark raving bonky in my work life. However, given that you want to preserve the good relationship you have with someone who otherwise seems to be a terrific teacher, I would go directly to the principal. I'd have specific examples of incorrectly marked classwork in hand, and a copy of some official grammar rules (just in case the principal is also foggy on their grammar rules), but I would preface anything I said by emphasizing how much you like the teacher, how good she has been with your daughter, how you don't want to do anything to offend or embarass her, etc. Final caution: do not mention this to any other moms in your child's class or school, or the gossip machine will kick in and who knows how that could impact the teacher.

The teacher is human, just like everybody else. I'm sure she knows she isn't perfect and doesn't know everything. Elementary school teachers are generalists and not all-knowing in every subject. As long as you approach it the right way, she will probably be grateful for the correction. I have several good friends who are teachers, and each has different strengths and weaknesses regarding the different subjects. I help in my 2nd grader's classroom a lot, mostly with spelling, and his teacher will openly say when she isn't sure of something and ask if I know, or look it up. (She has some future spelling bee champs in her class!) I would open the discussion like this: "I've noticed on some papers you corrected 'me' to 'I'. I want to make sure I'm teaching my daughter correctly, so what is the rule for when to use me or I? I thought I was taught..." Good luck!

I'm very surprised a second grader would even be learning the difference between when to use I and me. That seems a bit over their head. I would definitely say something to the teacher. Could your daughter just be confused?

I would let the principal handle it so the teacher is not embarrassed.
Once I misspelled a word. I was so embarrassed that I remember it 15 years later.

I just googled this, because I've never been crash hot on this one. It appears that K. is right, according the the Google Grammar God or whatever I looked at. If I were you K., I'd let my child tell the teacher that they're wrong!

Ugh, a huge pet peeve of mine as well! I've noticed that my child's kindergarten teacher says things like "there's a lot of kids who do such-and-such" and I want to correct her soooooo badly. I was brought up with very proper grammar and it still bugs me to this day when the media and teachers use the wrong term, possessive word, or pronoun. I don't have much advice since mine's only in kindergarten, but I'd definitely bring it to someone's attention. It will drive me crazy if my child ends up speaking like that - not a huge deal, maybe, but could cause problems in future educational tasks like writing papers and communicating with teachers and professors. Correct it while they're young, otherwise the chances of using proper grammar go way down. GOOD LUCK!

Wow, I have done it wrong all my life then! Maybe she just hasn't been updated in a while, I know I was brought up to say Jim and I.
I think you will have to find an up to date grammar book, and take it in and point it out to her, take her several books that correlate the information.