What do you do to your child when they are acting out or giving you problems? How do you discipline your child? Im asking this question because alot of you moms suggest counseling, spankings, time outs, talking to them and all types of things. I know your answers will vary because it depends on the kid age. This question applies to kds that is age 2-18
We all have different kids that are different ages. Thats why I said ages 2-18. Meaning how do you disipline your child (whatever age they are) I know that you dont discipline all kids the same. duh! For my teenagers.. I dont know what it is but, if I talk calmly and nice to them, they dont pay me any attention! I have to get rowdy with them, yell , throw some things and use a few curse words at times. And this is competely out of my character. They know that mamma dont play that. lol. For my little ones..at an early age (around the tantrum age) I made them think I was crazy. I rarely had any problems with them because they were scared to act out. Scared of what I may do to them. All I had to do was give thwm the eye. lol. They are still this way to this day, and some of them are teenagers! I never yell at my little ones and they hardly ever get spankings. All I had to do was throw a few things andlook very angry. NEVER THREW THINGS AT THEM.
Time out was for toddlers/preschoolers. Once they were school aged, they got privileges taken away, grounding, losing their most precious items for a period of time - boy did my son learn a lesson when he lost his hamster for a week, that was probably his worst punishment ever. I have two teens now. They aren't disciplinary problems, punishment isn't frequent. My older one is grounded now for the first time in years.
Hi. I believe in a positive/gentle discipline approach. The newsletter of Dr. Laura Markham and Jane Nielsen are helpful.
www.ahaparenting.com
www.positivediscipline.com
Good luck
jilly
It doesn't just depend on age. I think that is what I hate about parenting books, you have this gender, this age, this will work. No it won't! 99% of the time it is every other factor that matters. Not enough sleep, just drank a Pepsi, brother has been teasing them for hours.....
Every situation requires you to think and analyze what happened, what caused an otherwise good kid to be bad. Then we work out what is needed so that it doesn't happen again.
WOW ... it is really difficult, I do not think there is a "blanket" statement I can make ... I try to let the punishment fit the crime, and I try to get him to understand the reasons why he was wrong. Overall I impliment a lot of different things depending on the issue at hand. I do fall into a stricter - tighter reigned collumn though.
Ages 2 - 18 is a HUGE gap! You don't punish a 2 year old the same way you punish an 18 year old. So what age group are you really talking about. Also, it's hard to give a blanket "this is what I do" because, at least for me, the punishments vary depending on the transgression.
You're going to have to be a bit more precise as to what you are looking for.
My daughter is 5 1/2 and I give her choices. (When she's acting out its usually either tired, hungary, transition / growth spurt) She makes her choices and either suffers the natural consequences or withhold something she would like, her hook. Each night we reflect on our day and figure out different ways do relate in a better way tomorrow when it was a tough day. Usually, she can identify what happened and what can change. When the reflection and solution come from her, she feels ownership over her behavior and the consequences.
I think parenting by example is one key to well behaved ADULTS. How do you want your grandchildren parented? You parent as you were parented, so unless you actually do something to change your parenting skills, the way you feel about your parents could be how your children will feel about you. If you want a safe driver at 16, be a safe driver when your kid is little, and explain why it's important to be safe FOR YEARS in advance. When do you start parenting a teen? The day they are born. Your example is the best parenting skill. If you are a screamer, your child will learn to be a screamer and parent that way. If you are calm, your child will learn to be calm. I really liked Love and Logic, and my daughter is a step-parent and listened to their material, and laughed when she recognized my "mother magic". Basically it is calm, choice based,and then you live with the results. For most kids it works, but old habits are hard to break for some parents. Another similar method is Scream-free parenting. Boystown press has really good parenting information too.
http://www.loveandlogic.com/
http://www.screamfree.com/site/PageServer
http://www.boystownpress.org/index.php/parents/parenting-...
I have used all of the above approachs. The counseling was basically for my sons anxiety, which led to some behavioral issues. I am a firm believer in a good swat on the butt when needed. My kids are FAR from perfect, BUT they have only needed the butt wooping a few times, after a couple they knew I meant business. The type of punishment they get depends on what they do, the punishment has to fit the crime.
When my 4 yr old is being a jerk and won't listen to me, I turn it around on him.
Seems to be working for now, since nothing else does (time outs, spankings, speaking calmly...HA!)
Ex:
Last night all the kids were outside playing with the hose. DS kept squirting the neighbor boy in the face with it, and the boy started to cry. DS kept it up after I asked him to stop 3-4 times.
Finally, I grabbed the hose from DS and squirted it in his face. I asked him how he liked it. He didn't shoot the hose at anyone after that. :)
