How Do You Show Your Teen You Love Them?

I found nothing says I love you like not embarrassing them. You just keep engaging them and talk on the times they don't bite.

If they are in sports/choir/drama etc, come to their games, concerts & plays. Plan special outings with them--trips downtown to go shopping...out for ice cream...Six Flags...museums...watch tv shows together...go out to movies together (even if you DON'T love "Twilight")...boat rides on Lake Michigan/Chicago River...chauffer them and their friends around....be friendly to their friends (even the ones you DON'T love as much).

My daughter is 16. I still go to her room at night and tell her goodnight and I love you. No matter what.

Communication is key as well as timing. No topic is off limits.

She is like me, when she comes in from school, she needs to chill about 15 minutes, get a snack and then she is "on". Before that, the mood wars are out. Learn their behavior/moods and you work around those. I give her a lot of space. At the same time, I am the first one she texts when she needs something or needs to reassure that her support network is strong.

Good luck

My daughter LOVES the crazy reality shows, Bachelor, Bachelor Pad, Big Brother, 4 weddings, Say yes to the dress, Cake Boss and we do a LOT of talking during those shows at night.

I always tell them I love them. Usually the only time they will talk very much is if we go out to eat. I figure that is money well spent.

YOu have some great advice here.
When they were 5 you went to every dance recital, every soccer game and cheered them on like there was no other. Do it again.
Go to all their games
Take them to the football games and sit with your friends, away from them.
Meet their teachers, friends, the principal, the coaches
Be involved in their lives
Yes, read The Five Love Languages, excellent book
Eat together as a family
Talk about what is important in their lives, Suzie's new boyfriend, Erin's new bellybutton piercing, whatever.
Be the hang out house and have teen food.
Tell them you love them every day.
Listen to them.

My younger brother (21yrs) and sister (19yrs) are resentful of my mother b/c she never really participated in any of their activities like going to their soccer games, orchestra performances, school events, etc. They say if she would have just acted like she was interested in what was going on in their lives that things would be different.

I'm not saying go to all her events and try to be her best friend with all her other friends, but, make sure she knows you're there. Maybe flash her a wave or a smile. Also ask her about her day. Get interested in her life. Never ignore!

I scheduled my 13 yo daughter's drama lessons on Friday nights:). Afterwards we go out to dinner as a family. Kind of expensive but so far my daughter is not ditching us for her friends. I agree with Victoria C...money well spent.

Give them your time... even when they push away. Also show them respect. Have family dinner together every night. Have family night at least once a week where everyone sits down with their schedules to discuss the week, have a little family lesson (be it from the bible, or something like a practice fire drill, or drug awareness...) then have dessert. Say family prayers. You have to create opportunities. Take the tv/computer out of their bedroom. No texting/phone allowed during dinner/family time. Do family outings together, like go pick apples at an orchard. Our family even had a paper route together. Give them responsibilities in the home to thrive. Tell them you love them and show it, show interest in them.

Read "the five love languages" book. Figure out how your child wants to be loved, then love them in that way.

I just tell mine that I love him.
I "force" hugs on him and remind him every day that I love him.
Oh, I may not always like his actions or his attitude, and am quick to call him on those things, but I always add "I love you" to the message.
In return I have a 15 year old who often tells me he loves me and give me hugs.

Just keep reaching out to them and expressing your love for them. I am told that they become human again in the 20s.

Good Luck
God Bless

I know what you mean! My boys do not really like too much affection, like hugs at their ages. I just try to do nice things for them, make a special meal for the sometimes, and I always tell them that I love them, and that I am proud of them. When I talk to them, and get their feedback on something, I tell them they made right choices and that I am proud of them. I think if you tell your kids you love them a lot, they know it.

My kids have a balance of personal time, friend time, activity time, and family time. By having them spend time with family we connect. When we connect, they know we love them.

We eat meals together, we go on day trips together. I often spend some one on one time with each of my daughters by taking them out to lunch, or watching one of their tv shows with them. We attend their performances (band and choir), award ceremonies, and are participate in school activities.

My kids have a few friends who have parents who really don't care and don't spend much time with them. Their friends think my kids are lucky because they have parents who are a big part of their live and obviously care.

I have a 20 year old daughter who acted and still acts as if she knows it all. It's a tough juggling act. The only thing I can say is to try to listen to them. See if there is something the two of you can share an interest in. Show interest in what they are doing. It's hard to know how much freedom to give them and how much to reign them in. But one thing I would strongly suggest is to never be their "friend". They need you as their parent. Being friends with your kids as you are raising them never works out. I tried to show my dtr that I loved her by being there for her when she needed to talk. Back off when I can and provide the needed guidance. But being a parent to a teen has got to be one of the hardest if not the hardest job on this earth. Good luck.

Listen to them. And don't react. Don't try to solve their problems unless they ask for help. Think back to when you were that age. What did you want from your parents? What do you wish your parents would do or say or not do? Schedule some fun family time. Let a different family member choose what to do each time. When I was in high school and my sisters and I were all busy, we used to have FFD (forced family dinner) once a month. We would all go out to eat and there was no excuse not to come with. It was a fun evening. We looked forward to it. Good luck!

I dont have teens yet but my mom would buy me my fav candy bar or take me to my fav resturant for lunch...sometimes she would leave little notes on my mirror of something positive that she seen that made her think of me that day. Good Luck

my girlfriend has teenagers and she has each one pick a night to pick and cook dinner. it can be whatever they want! yes..even PBJ if that be the case but I think it opens up the communication. my little ones are 2 and 3 months. I have a long way to go!
good luck

My oldest is only 11 so she is just a tween. We go get our nails and hair done once a month together. If it has been a hard month for either one of us we splurge and get a massage and ice cream too! It makes for an awesome Saturday morning.

There is an awesome blog written BY teens FOR parents called Radical Parenting:

FB: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Radical-Parenting/132204829461
Blog: RadicalParenting.com

Check it out!

I always end every conversation with "love you"
At night I ask him how his day was, start with simple questions like-what did you have for lunch? Did you eat lunch? then usually the conversation will move into where he went who he went with- oh second period sucked guess what happened- If you give them an open they will usually take it.
On the weekends we watch sport and sometimes some stupid movie I really really dont want to see but I will live through Get him to the Greek to hang out on the couch

I hate to say this but the best time to get things across is when a friend is in crisis. They always want to talk when their friend's parents do something dumb...or at least they think it's dumb. If we have a long talk it has to be when no one else is available, lol.....usually after everyone else is in bed :)

Showing them is a time thing. Consistency over time.......

Take a drive....go out to eat....write them 'love notes' (just make sure these aren't 'discovered' at an embarassing moment)....take them shopping